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Monday, March 02, 2009

Urban Decay 8

Part 8: Where Did I Put My Car Keith?

(Confused, or reminiscing about what Keith Urban looked like before we subjected him to a thousand indignities? Go read parts one through seven. Yes, SEVEN. That’s how long we’ve been doing this ridiculous shi… er, worthwhile and culturally significant project for).

Keith adores a bit of a drive. He likes nothing more than getting behind the wheel out on the open road, window down, breeze ruffling his bleach-frosted, artfully tousled hair, song ideas looming in the rear-vision mirror, closer than they appear.
Unfortunately for Keith, with his track record, hardly anybody will let him behind the wheel anymore. So when Keith asked my mate KJ if he could drive her car, she said no.

“How about if Russ drives, and I sit on his lap?” asked Keith.

“No” said KJ.

“Passenger seat?” whined Keith.

“No” said KJ.

“Boot?” nagged Keith, scratching his nose and letting out a small fart.

“No” said KJ.

Then we had an idea.

First part of idea: put Keith in a shopping bag and tie it up with yellow ribbon.

Second part of idea: tie Keith-In-A-Bag to the tow-bar of KJ's car. Give Russ the keys.

Third and easily best part of idea: Let the fanging commence.
All in all, Keith came through it pretty well.

Stay tuned. Keith clearly needs you.



shellity said...

Dude. Wears my Keith.

Anna said...

Frankly, Keith amazes me with his stamina! This is a guy who can seriously GO the distance. I never understood what Kidman saw in this guy but obviously it's his incredible durability and staying power, if not um.....his size.

LOVE your blog. Kudos to you Jo!

Jewels Diva said...

Poor, poor Keith! Just make sure you leave some for Nicole, otherwise she'll have to go back to Tom.