My mum plays flute in a really good community orchestra, and I went to her concert on Sunday night.
It was packed, so I had to sit right up the front. My view was only blocked by an odd stand contraption in front of me that had a little pouch hooked to it – I had no idea what it was, but it was about a foot and a half away.
The program included a Trumpet Concerto, and mum was telling me beforehand about the soloist, Ken, who joined the orchestra when he was thirteen, and is now eighteen and really good-looking. She was just mentioning it.
I’ve been going to mum’s concerts for years, so I remember what Ken looked like as a young teenager – a bit awkward and funny looking.
Then it's time for the solo, and out walks Adonis: The Musical. He’s freakin' gorgeous. Because I'm in the front row, he's practically standing right in front of me, and I’m trying not to ogle him because he’s eighteen and I’m… well, not. Shut up.
Anyway, the concerto finishes, and Mum comes to have a quick chat with me during interval.
The conversation goes something like this:
Jo: "You're not kidding, mum. He's gorgeous! I was trying not to stare".
Jo's Mum: "I told you! He plays jazz as well - he's in a couple of different groups".
Jo: "Well, now he's eighteen and can play in clubs, he'll be able to take home any girl in the audience, any night of the week".
Jo's Mum: "Definitely. I hope his mum's had 'the talk' with him. I suppose he'd just ignore her, though".
Jo: "As long as he listened to the part about condoms, he'll be fine".
We laughed, and then Mum got up to get ready for the second half.
That's when Ken the hot soloist's grandpa walked up the front, went towards the weird pouch-on-a-stand thing, took a recording device out of it, and pressed 'stop'.
Ken's grandparents now have a recording of their grandson's solo, plus a recording of two chicks talking about how much sex he's going to have now he's eighteen.