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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Yeah. You're Pretty Much Fired.

Great advertising mysteries of September 2008:

· Still trying to get a condescending, ginger soccer mum who doesn't iron her shirts, brush her hair, or avoid hitting her "son" in the head with the car-boot door to sell me NRMA insurance. Still. I'm insuring my car against being dented suddenly in the front by a freckly chick.

· Cadbury spending over six million pounds on a gorilla suit and some Phil Collins copyright. Training a real gorilla to play drums would've been cheaper, except most intelligent primates won't go near Phil Collins.

· Telling women with thrush that Canesten Duo will leave you "cool, clear, and feeling yourself again". Awesome. You've had an uncomfortable five-day abstinence, and you're antsy as all get-out.

· Showing women breaking off bits of a chocolate man wearing Lynx and eating him. All I can think about when I watch this ad is sweat, body hair and penis. Granted, all I could think about before seeing this ad was sweat, body hair and penis. Shut up.

11 comments:

Felix for Zosia said...

If I was a few years younger I'd use that acronym thingy to say that you just made me laugh out loud.

Jo said...

Thank god you're not a few years younger.

I mean... TGYNAFYY.

A Grey Area said...

I'd like to vote for chameleon-eyed man on antiperspirant ad. I get sympathy headaches when I see eyes moving like that. It would be a handy skill while driving though.

Anonymous said...

all i can think about is sweat, body hair and penis and i havent even heard of ad until now!

Nick Crumbedprawn said...

In the fifties, they began training chimps to perform domestic tasks, Planet of the Apes style, in the hope that all humankind could be freed from the drudgery of low-level servitude. The experiment was indeed junked when they found you could just hire a unemployed human for minimum wage who didn't need to be supervised by a team of PhDs around the clock just to sweep the fucking kitchen floor.

Too high-brow?

I have a penis.

nat said...

I am always thinking about primates in the entertainment industry. You just don't see them many anymore. In the 70's and 80's it was all the rage. don't have much money or a good movie script - whack in a chimp. Need an idea for a tv pilot - something with robots and chimps would get the green light. Now? not a hairy little bugger to be seen (discounting Dazza Somers, of course). Apparently the chimpz unionized and now we just can't pay them in banana's and cigars or dress them up as the president of the United States on roller-skates!

Anonymous said...

I think I'm falling in Love with You

Jo said...

Really?
Because I'm sort of falling in love with the idea of a man/monkey hybrid.

You're... you're not a man/monkey hybrid by any chance, are you?

Anonymous said...

While my toes do exhibit a certain degree of prehensility (especially with regard to dropped tea towels, bottle tops and corks) i'm afraid that the only other thing close to your sought after hybrid that I could offer would be wild monkey sex. Deal?

Jo said...

I do have lot of towels, bottle tops and corks on my floor...

I'll get back to you.

Kate said...

You know, I never understood why Cabdury thought that, if the whole world was made out of chocolate, I would be any better at soccer. And if that were true, wouldn't everyone else ALSO be better at soccer? In what way would living in a world made of chocolate make me more likely to be a soccer super star?

And also, those ads were scarey.