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Friday, March 31, 2006

Emails I May Never Send #7

Dear Catriona Rowntree,

And while you're at it, put those massive teeth away.

You're so excited about your boobs, aren't you? It's like "Here's the sweeping vista of the Greek Islands, as seen from my expensive balcony. But more importantly - here's a great big look at my fun-bags! Woo!".

We want to see the pretty scenery, not the mammary glands of the hyperactive bimbo sent on a plane to present it. The producers put you on a plane because they couldn't stand you hanging around the office anymore.

Put a skivvy on and get on with it.

Yours with a comparatively uninterrupted view of my feet,


shellity said...

If it's any consolation, she's got quite a big arse. It hardly ever gets any air time.

Hoadley Rowntree said...

At least her norks provide distraction from the insipid "I am just the most fantastic, diplomatic, witty and urbane person I know in the, oh ... I don't know [laughs her haughty little insinceren laugh and smirks]probably the Universe.

Trust me. You're right up there with Tori Spelling on the scale of weird looking things with creepy clevage.

Leave our screens immediately and that includes commercials. Don't make me mention your appearance on "Temptation". It wasn't appreciated.

Let us return to our telly in peace.

Perverted Viewer said...

Dear JoBlogs,
Catriona is selling the dream. Don't knock her (knocker).
From Perverted Viewer