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Friday, March 17, 2006

Emails I May Never Send #5

Dear Jessica Rowe,

Oh, you inane, bony little pixie.
I can't listen to your forced vacuous giggle any more, or tolerate your cheesy fairy-tale grin, without wanting to take to my television with a hacksaw.
I know by rights I should also send an email to Karl Stefanovic, your meatheaded boof of an offsider, but I suspect that he can't actually read big words. Like 'Stefanovic'.
Even Sharyn Ghidella looks at you like she wants to snap you like a brittle, elfin twig.

Please take your alarming jutting collarbones and your pointy, pointy, face elsewhere, quick-sticks. Don't make me get the hose.

Yours with a comparatively well-concealed skeleton,


shellity said...

How uncharitable of you. At least buy her a pizza.

missy vas said...

please can you send that email - she needs to know!!