Screw you, recap episode.
Recap episodes make me feel like I'm studying for a test and, like going back and doing revision of quadratic equations, there are distinctly fewer thrills and spills than seeing it all the first time.
In a New Zealand's Next Top Model test, I would assume that the questions would be multiple choice.
I'd also assume that anyone attempting the test would be advised to not chew the end of their pen, so as to avoid the ingestion of any unexpected calories.
And I'd assume that the questions would look a bit like this, which is pretty much because I just made hem up now. It's luxurious being in charge of this shit.
If you have a bit of a panic attack in hair and make-up, should you:
a) Call the ambulance;
b) Call the waambulance;
c) Be a retarded ginger robot from space; or
d) You shit me, Nelza
The most unnecessary yet most mentally ingrained image of the series so far, like so much so that I see it every time I close my eyes, has been:
a) Colin Hyphenated-Surnane running in heels;
b) A parrot crapping on a module's leg;
c) Nelza vomiting flour on the patio; or
d) Me dribbling honey on Chris Sisarich's nipples
Which of the following phrases is the most fun to say out loud?
a) "Lit's hev a ritro-spic-tuv re-kep ipisode!";
b) "Sara Titro keeps sputting glutter et me un the openung cridduts!";
c) "Dakota us a bet-shut crazy butch!"; or
d) "Lit's drubble honey on Chrus Susaruch's nupples!"
When a bunch of models have a doll that they pass to whoever asks a stupid question, you have:
a) Too much time on your hands;
b) An excellent way to both pass the time and keep self-esteem running low;
c) A doll with a stupid name being passed around in a stupid game invented by a bunch of stupid bony stupid stupids; or
d) That thing is the doll equivalent of herpes.
The answer, of course, is cupcakes.
Stupid dumb recap episode.