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Thursday, September 10, 2009

Sit On Myspace And Tell Me That You Love Me #2

Well, well, well. Aren’t I just the social networking temptress? I have been approached by yet another suitor via MySpace. This can’t just be a coincidence. I must be either (a) amazing and completely irresistible, or (b) this is some kind of scam or phishing exercise.

Quite clearly, the answer is (a).

The molten missive reads as follows:

Hey sweetie… love your hair…
Hey hun how are you doing today?Hope all is going on fine with you and your family...really i am new hear and i just thought i should come up ere to look for friends,lovers just to make me happy then i saw your picture and went through your profile and thought i should say hello to you and ask if we could be friends....i really think you are very beautiful and i love evrything about you..can't wait to get along with you soon.......have you got a yahoo id?mine is
***** have a great day sweets.ciaoFrank.

Let me be frank, Frank:

- Your message title, whilst lovely of you, is one of the gayest things I’ve ever read.

- My family’s good, thanks. Shelley’s a bit stressed with the kids, Mike’s birthday is coming up, Mum doesn’t think I should swear quite so much, and Dad might need spinal surgery. Otherwise not much to report. Also, you should probably mind your own fucking* business.

- It seems you’ve just acquired a cochlear implant or similar, so congratulations on the whole ‘new hear’ thing. I SAID CONGRATULATIONS ON THE WHOLE ‘NEW HEAR’ THI- never mind.

- I’m glad you ‘love evrything’ about me, but I’m afraid I haven’t liked a boy who dropped ‘e’s since the mid-nineties, when it was fashionable.

- No, I don’t have a yahoo ID. I have a MySpace page, though. Maybe you can contact me there?

At this rate, I’ll be married by afternoon tea time. To an illiterate loser. You’re invited!

*Sorry, Mum.


Liss said...

Oh you're crazy. He's a priz(e).

Anonymous said...

Jo, I think you should be an actress. I'm not saying that you would be good - I'm just saying that you should be an actress.

shellity said...

Sounds like the only person who loves you more than Frank is me. I'm not jealous, but. When he starts calling you three times a day, then we've got issues.

PetStarr said...

What's Myspace?