Tyra, I think we have to break up.
It's not you, it's m… it's totally you.
I just… I like my friends to be sane. With their own hair.
Plus, when I'm sharing fried chicken with friends, I want to know I have half a chance of actually selecting a piece from the bucket without inadvertently getting my hand skeletonised in a freak feeding-frenzy accident. I'm particular like that.
So, in a nutshell, you're dead to me now. And by "dead", I mean "only worth a couple of paragraphs a week".
In other, unsurprising news, almost everyone you let through the door during auditions for Cycle 10 of America's Next Top Model has an unnecessary 'Y' in their name. And these names are, almost without exception, completely fucked up.
Anya - relatively non-stupid name. Really, really stupid girl.
Atalya – I tell ya, that's an unnecessary 'Y'.
Katarzyna – Only has value as a Scrabble score.
Marvita – Right. So we're spreading names on toast now?
Shaya – I want to meet this girl's parents. And slap them with a dictionary. A comprehensive one.
Shalynda – Jesus. Nowhere, in the past present, or future, will you ever hear the phrase "And now, ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce the newest member of the board, Shalynda". No. Shalynda either serves people fries or gives people Chlamydia.