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Thursday, July 24, 2008

ANTM And Sometimes Y

Tyra, I think we have to break up.
It's not you, it's m… it's totally you.
I just… I like my friends to be sane. With their own hair.
Plus, when I'm sharing fried chicken with friends, I want to know I have half a chance of actually selecting a piece from the bucket without inadvertently getting my hand skeletonised in a freak feeding-frenzy accident. I'm particular like that.
So, in a nutshell, you're dead to me now. And by "dead", I mean "only worth a couple of paragraphs a week".

In other, unsurprising news, almost everyone you let through the door during auditions for Cycle 10 of America's Next Top Model has an unnecessary 'Y' in their name. And these names are, almost without exception, completely fucked up.

Examples:

Anya - relatively non-stupid name. Really, really stupid girl.
Atalya – I tell ya, that's an unnecessary 'Y'.
Katarzyna – Only has value as a Scrabble score.
Marvita – Right. So we're spreading names on toast now?
Shaya – I want to meet this girl's parents. And slap them with a dictionary. A comprehensive one.
Shalynda – Jesus. Nowhere, in the past present, or future, will you ever hear the phrase "And now, ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce the newest member of the board, Shalynda". No. Shalynda either serves people fries or gives people Chlamydia.

FAIL.

13 comments:

shellity said...

I'm tipping Chlamydia to win the series.

TimT said...

The Y mimics the sound you make when you read their names and/or see the models on telly. It's often closely followed by the words....

" ___ GOD! IN HEAVENS NAME, Y!"

Anonymous said...

I'm sure you don't mean your post to come off this way, but i must say that it's bordering on being quite racist. First, the reference to you liking your friends to have their own hair (not a 'weave' like Tyra wears), the reference to fried chicken and then the girls names- Shalynda, Marvita and Atalya... I must say I'm a huge fan of yours and absolutely loved your recaps on the Australian top models, but maybe you should think carefully about what you write on the american version. Just a thought...

Jo said...

For the record:
HAIR - I will take the mick out of anyone wearing a wig, regardless of race or creed. It's not nice, but it's certainly not racist.
FRIED CHICKEN - I'm implying, as I have for years, that Tyra is on the tubby side. Not nice. But not racist.
NAMES - Bad names are bad names. For example, I think "Anonymous" is HILARIOUS.

I assure you and all readers that I'd rather die than be considered racist or bigoted in any way. I have a general policy of being mean to everybody. Vitriol is colourblind.

Your implication that only particular races have hair weaves or eat fried chicken is interesting, though...

anonymous II said...

... hmmm... I can definitely see anonymous the first's point - it 'technically' isn't racist - not at all! but it also does kind of smell of it a little... and I can't actually back that up with any sort of fact - it's just the vibe of the thing...

Hehe - having said that it is quite amusing although my advice would be to stick to the lighthearted ribbing that worked so well for Aussie NTM... this is starting to sound a touch more nasty and a touch less ligthearted...

Totally agree re Tyra tho - she's irritated me for years, you can still go to town on her!

mimi said...

aw, don't hate on anya. she was probably one of the nicest, sweetest girls in the whole of top model!

Chicago Girl said...

i just love how this season Tyra couldn't even show up to the actual make overs.

Loved the post!!

Anonymous said...

Jo, I am perfectly aware that many different races wear hair 'weaves' and eat fried chicken- it is just that these particular things that you pointed out are often used against african americans in a derogatory manner (especially the weaves) and to stereotype them.
As I said previously, I'm sure you did not mean for these things to have any racist undertones, but maybe you should just be a bit more aware of the things you say... after all, there are plenty of other things to bag Tyra about :-)

Anonymous said...

Can people who don't understand Jo's sense of humour just piss off? (please). If you don't like her style, tone, language choices etc. then don't read it. As for your opinions, the rest of us couldn't give a fuck. Jo Blogs should be preserved as a PC free zone!

Anonymous said...

Re the above comment from anon (the third) - you're not doing Jo any favours with that attitude. I don't think the first two anons were being overly PC at all - they are obviously fans of Jo's who could be speaking for a number people who felt a bit 'iffy' about the post themselves... and rather than abuse Jo (like some people do when faced with something they don't agree with... uh hmm...) they've merely mentioned their concerns in what appears to be a fair and well-thought out manner, probably because they like Jo's blog enough to let her know!

I personally thought it was fine and whilst not PC in the slightest (is Jo ever?) nothing racist was said. But I can appreciate the comments made about the possible racial undertones and understand why it may be best to just tread a little carefully on that particular topic... yes, our society has become super-PC lately but there are certain issues that simply are taboo - and it's not like Jo's some anonymous blogger herself - we all know who she is so I imagine it'd be in her best interests to at least be a little careful....

And while I'm on my soapbox... I suggest maybe it is anon3 who does not undertsand her humour.... she managed to defend herself without a load of gratuitous swearing and with intelligence and humour... could your next post maybe contain at least one of these elements?

kiki said...

BUT WHAT ABOUT GINGER?

Glamourcide said...

Oh blah, all you squealers. It's all in good fun... and if you don't like it, well, there's a little button at the top of the page with an 'x' on it. Click it.

I agree with Jo. Dumb names are dumb names, regardless of race.

I'm looking forward to this season's recaps :D I hear Dominique is going to provide Jo with buckets of material.

Anonymous said...

Several of the girls with unnecessary "Y"s in their names are not even black, so stop trying to make it about racism.