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Friday, March 16, 2007

Faux Pas, My Arse

At a reasonably ritzy business lunch a while ago, the conversation randomly turned to the subject of left-handedness and right-handedness. I noted that as recently as the schooldays of my parents' generation, left-handers were still getting slapped on the wrist with a ruler if they dared succumb to their biological destiny and tried to write with their left hand.
Smokey, the well-intentioned colleague to my right, chirped up with: "They still punish people for that! I got sodomised at school for writing with my left hand!".
Conversation stopped and silence fell over our table, save for the subtle clinking of a dropped incredulous chopstick.
Smokey, with a subtle mix of sheepishness and horror, leaned awkwardly over to me and whispered "What do I mean, Jo?"

"Chastised, sweetie", I replied. "You were chastised at school for writing with your left hand".

"Yes", said Smokey. "That's it".


shellity said...

Erp. And furthermore, pffft.

PetStarr said...

It was the OTHER things he did with his left hand that he got sodomised for.

Rach said...

i was watching some awful documentary about THE WOMB - twins/triplets/quads last weekend, as I was too lazy to get up and find the remote... anyway... they had this thing about lefties, and they have a theory that Lefties were actually part of TWINS, and they either ate the other twin, or the other twin just disappeared in the womb.

Now thats just another reason not to trust lefties.

Damn Cannibals.

Jo said...

Rach, I hate to tell you this, but I'm a left-handed twin.
Mind you, my sister is right-handed. Perhaps I just wasn't all that peckish in utero.

Smokey said...

So NOW I know why you emailed me for clarification the other day... So, did you ever get the shirts made up??

Melly` said...

Arghhh,... lol poor Smokey.

I got one for you. Years ago I was trying to act sophisticated with my uni peers at some party wherein I was a wee bit intoxicated. The conversation was religion.. and I MEANT to say I was agnostic.. but instead I said I was an antagonist.

SADLY - the twats all thought I was TERRIBLY smart and suddenly way more interesting than I had ever been before - perfect for a moot partner etc. Only one friend knew I had simply botched it... and she may have had many giggles.. but I still go red just thinking about it.