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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The CnB Initiative

I know. I know.
It's been a long time between thingetties on this here bizzo.
Of course, with Twitter taking care of all my brief things (except my actual briefs, but that's only a matter of time, surely), and Australia's Next Top Model being on hiatus until next year (any aspiring contestants can look up the word 'hiatus' here) what am I going to write about?


See, my mate Russ has an unofficial Pictionary rule that whenever you draw a picture, it has to include a cock n' balls in it somewhere. It doesn't have to be good. It just has to be present. Like this, for example:

I call this one 'Baby Fish Mouth With Cock N' Balls'
The always-classy Bert Maverick extended this rule to encompass Draw Something, so that everyone who plays against him gets an oddly malformed little bonus. Or 'boners', as it were.

Less than a week ago, Shellity and I were flying on an aeroplane in the sky, when she decided it might be fun to draw the good ol' Cock N' Balls in the inflight magazine. That got us talking like grown-ups, and the Cock N' Balls Initiative was born.

Here are the instructions:

1. Whenever you find yourself in the presence of publicly-available magazines that other people have access to, like inflight magazines or waiting room magazines (NOT shops that sell magazines), draw a cock n' balls in it. Anywhere you'd feel fine completing a crossword or quiz in a magazine probably qualifies.

2. If possible, take a photo of it and post it to your Twitter account or Facebook doo-hickey (I forget what they're called).

3. Leave the magazine for others to find.

4. If you happen to FIND a cock n' balls drawing that someone else has left for you, you can feel that warm, fuzzy feeling that only being part of a secret international community can give you. And also take a photo and post it.

Here's a couple to get you started:

QF431, Sydney to Melbourne, by Shellity.

QF425, Melbourne to Sydney, by me.

If we all work together, we can make the CnB Initiative a thing.

Who's in?


Brodie said...


Anonymous said...

I have worked for the electoral commission and each election there is ALWAYS cnb on a ballot. Even though cameron dick was on the ballot it still had to be counted as 'informal'

Mama Mogantosh said...

Firstly thank you for 'baby fish mouth cock n'balls'. Secondly wasn't it Sally who got massively busted drawing cn'b all over her St Catherine's textbook? Was it Sal? Or am I confusing it with the time a puppy tore up sanitary napkins all over her bathroom and she got the blame? It's so tough to keep all these stories straight.

Jo said...

Huh. This may be the first time the 'Ask Me' t-shirt yields no results.

Anonymous said...

thats some acrobatic stuff for sure
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Anonymous said...

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bigwords is... said...

I very much LOVE this idea and will start cock n bulling everything. Now my life has more purpose. Thank you

alejandro said...

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Paddy said...

Just so we r all clear - do we tag with #cocknballs, #cnbinitiative or just plain #cnb on instagram?

Jo said...

Tag it with everything you've got. It's important that people know.

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Anonymous said...

About a year ago I found myself alone in a row of 3, BNE-MEL. It had been a bad day, so I dicked up all three inflight mags. I'm so pleased to see the spreading of this initiative.

Parker Bohn said...

Years later a ghost comment emerges...

I used to work in a parking deck, and I'd sometimes walk through all 2.5 miles of it (those things are larger than you'd think if you stretched it out into a road).

Sometimes people would draw in the dust/pollen on the backs of the cars. Nearly 100% of all the drawings fit into several different categories of cocks or cocks and balls. Its like the venn diagram of

A) People who draw only cocks and/or balls
B) People who draw on car windows

Has a 99% overlap.

Its truly remarkable --- I would go weeks without seeing a drawing of anything other than a cock.