Five steps to a less embarrassing bottom.
· Don't eat lunch from a health food shop on the same day you do a yoga class.
· If you're trying to do a silent fart, don't stand with your back to a wall.
· If he's expecting sex in exchange for dinner and he takes you out for Indian food, he's a masochist or an idiot.
· The drunker you are, the more thoroughly you should check you haven't tucked your skirt into your undies.
· If it's itchy, just scratch it. Don't do that dance.