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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Straight From The Horse's Arse

Five steps to a less embarrassing bottom.

· Don't eat lunch from a health food shop on the same day you do a yoga class.

· If you're trying to do a silent fart, don't stand with your back to a wall.

· If he's expecting sex in exchange for dinner and he takes you out for Indian food, he's a masochist or an idiot.

· The drunker you are, the more thoroughly you should check you haven't tucked your skirt into your undies.

· If it's itchy, just scratch it. Don't do that dance.



shellity said...


Anonymous said...

-let one off and blame the lether chair your sitting on
-silent ones are better let off while walking
-coughing to cover a potental niosy fart in a quiet office never works
-always try to get one out in an empty lift
-it will never be silent if you have a sweety arse
- chick peas are the enemy, unless your planing on a road trip with friends where farting can be used as a bargening chip to get what you want.

redcap said...

But if you scratch your arse, it's OK - no one can see. After all, you can't see, so it's not happening.