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Wednesday, February 07, 2007

What, This? I Always Keep It There.

I'm a bit self-conscious, and also quite punctual.
As a result of the punctuality, I'm always waiting for friends (who aren't quite as punctual) by myself in designated meeting places. If you've met me or any of my friends, you'll know this means I spend a lot of time waiting by myself in bars.
As a result of the self-consciousness, I usually spend this time looking through old text messages, scrawling bad drawings on the back of coasters, reading anything with words on it within arm's reach, or any other activity which I believe keeps me from looking like a no-friends loser twat.
One such time, I had planned to meet friends at a swanky bar in Paddington, and they were an hour late. There were no spare tables or seats available, and the clientele were especially cooler-than-thou (read: Eastern Suburbs Toss-Monkeys), so I ordered a gin & tonic and stood winsomely by the pool table, observing the game in progress. Not ideal, but I know a lot about pool, so I attempted to adopt the stand-alone stylings of Cool Chick Who Knows.
I relaxed a little, and truly believed that I even started to look a bit windswept and interesting.
Then I took a long, slow, sophisticated sip of my drink, whilst being artfully distracted by a guy attempting a backspin double off the cushion into the corner pocket.
The straw went directly up my left nostril.
Shocked, embarrassed, and a little bit in pain, I quickly pulled my drink away, hoping nobody had seen my minor nasal faux-pas.
The drink made it back onto the ledge it had been resting on.
The straw stayed lodged up my nose.

Way cool.

1 comment:

Melly` said...

Almost twenty years ago I got conned (by a particular FRIEND)and went on a blind date with a very sophisticated guy who took me to a very swanky place - and I did the old... shove the straw up my nose on my fooking daquiri too.... Hurt too. He never asked me out again but pretended not to notice.

Same FRIEND set me up with another fellow who tried to drink his flaming drambuie while it was still flaming. Shit you not. Full moustache and beard too. Interesting night at emergency. Never saw him again either.

I still talk to my FRIEND. All these years later. I wonder why?