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Tuesday, February 20, 2007


My hair is brown and lifeless,
At the ends it's dead and dull;
And there's something not quite right
About the shaping of my skull.
I frequently get pimples
And my lips are rather thin,
And the phrase "a little patchy"
Is descriptive of my skin.
My boobs aren't nearly big enough,
My shoulders slouch a bit,
My arms are long and gangly
And my fingernails are split.
My waistline's ordinary
And my bottom's big and wobbly;
My thighs are white from lack of light,
My knees are dense and knobbly.
My shins are dry and scabby;
Feet like mine are out of vogue,
But although my name's forgettable,
At least it's not 'Minogue'


londongirl said...

Well that may not have been your intention, but you did make me smile...

Anonymous said...

I think this is a very cool and realistic poem although it sounds a bit degrading to yourself. But i do have solutions for your problems though. I am quite a look-conscious type of person, for dull and lifeless hair, i always opt for easier way to manage. I have just straightened my hair with ceramic straightener and it's all good again. :D lively and easy to manage.

Jo said...

Oh, excellent! Marketing spam! I've really made it now...

redcap said...

That's great. Very funny. More poems, please :)