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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Emails I May Never Send #9

Dear Nigella,

I like seeing you rip into a curly endive. I love watching you slop extra-virgin olive oil all over a vat full o' veg. I adore the way you drizzle chocolate, beat hell out of a chicken breast, and pound pastry vigorously into submission. I don't even mind the fact that your cooking shows are just as much about your jewellery and your norks as they are about cooking.

But, my friend, when you head downstairs to the fridge at midnight in your jammies to scoop handfuls of trifle out of a half-empty bowl and smear great wodges of it into your waiting gob, please TURN THE CAMERAS OFF.

Enough already. It's turning my stomach.

Yours with, comparatively, the appetite of a bird,
Jo.

4 comments:

tim said...

jamie is the only TV chef worht watching

Jo said...

Jamie - good food, nice threads, shame about the Messiah complex.

LOVE Tony and Giorgio. Rich, clinically insane, and not afraid to grub in. What's not to love?

Vanessa said...

Stop flaunting your Foxtel connections the pair of you. Some households are still mourning the death of Kerry Packer and won't sully their circuitry with Murdoch owned telly.

P.S : Giorgio and Tony are my favourites. Tony's a right geezer and duzzint arf min a pint eiver. Cor.

PetStarr said...

I would also add: "please cease and desist from wearing those alarmingly tight corsets. We can only imagine what your trussed-up rolls of fat must do when you finally unlace yourself from your whalebone hell at the end of each cooking day - and the very idea makes us want to vomit on our creme brulee."