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Friday, August 18, 2006

Reality? Check!

Auditioning For Reality Television
I won't go into the reasons why a normal intelligent human being would audition for reality television. I'd just like to list the some of the things I've been asked to do at reality television auditions. This may go some way to help explain the vacuous, pimply, scraggy freaks who have graced our screens over the last few years.
  • Impersonate a vibrator
  • Make, with ten other people, a human helicopter
  • Pretend to be a dog, complete with leg-cocking and arse-sniffing
  • Point out, in a room full of strangers, who I think is gay
  • Point out, in a room full of strangers, who I'd like to share a nude moment with
  • List the flaws of all my ex-boyfriends
  • Tell a roomful of strangers what my life's most embarrassing moment is. Ironic, really.


shellity said...

You're very good at getting stuck into vacuous, pimply, reality-show freaks. Sounds like a pretty good impersonation of a vibrator to me!

your mother said...

Perhaps you'd like to rephrase your first sentence from "a normal intelligent human..." to "a normally intelligent human...". Shellity, you're naughty! PS. Is "human being" a sub-set of "human"? Are there "human would-have-been"s?