Can you smell that?
That faint waft of desperation, menthol cigarettes and polyester in the air?
That, friends, teens and gay men, is the smell of applications for Series 7 of Australia's Next Top Model opening (check it here). And who doesn't love the smell of a model's opening, am I right?
Despite being cruelly overlooked last series, my spirit has not been crushed, and I've already submitted my application for next year.
Applicants are required to provide a photo, and I feel that mine really shows my inner beauty. If the judges can't appreciate the quiet dignity and fashion-forward magnificence of my shot, then clearly the whole thing is rigged, or at least skewed unfairly towards tall, beautiful, young people.
|Don't EVEN tell me you're not a little bit aroused right now.|
In fact, bugger it - I might start a campaign to ensure that my clear fashion and catwalk dominance isn't ignored in the culling process. I say we start here on the ANTM facebook page, and we'll sort out the street march and intensive letter-writing campaign at a later date. Give me a hand and spread the word - maybe by posting something on the wall, or writing to your local member of parliament. Every little bit helps, and remember - the real winner is mediocrity. And also me.
IT'S MY YEAR, BITCHES.