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Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Extreme Avocado.

You know what makes me happy? Well yes, there’s that, but I mea… well yes, granted, there’s that too, but what I’m trying to get at is… what? Well technically yes, but that’s more a young person’s ga… LOOK. You know what makes me happy today?

The fact that I will have too many games to play come Summer.

You might remember that I invented Bee Bingo, and you may have also subsequently realised that this is a game that has taken the world by storm in a quiet and unobtrusive way.

WELL. My new housemate Lozzy, of oh errol fame, told me about a game her boyfriend plays, and I want to play it. I need to play it. I want you all to need to play it too. I’m an eddying maelstrom of wants and needs. See paragraph 1.

Lozzy’s squeeze has an avocado tree in his backyard (although this would work well with any tree that bears fruit or other heavy-ish, dropping things. Bats or possums, for example).
When the fruit is ripe, he and his friends crack some (many) beers and sit in the yard wearing custom-built helmets.

Each helmet is a bike helmet with a bowl super-glued to the top of it. Anyone who doesn’t already think this game is awesome even at this unresolved point has no business reading further. Helmet. Bowl. Dreams. Realised.

Whenever game-players hear an avocado dropping through the leaves, they RACE TO CATCH IT IN THEIR CUSTOMISED BOWL-HELMET.
Sometimes it's a long wait, so more beer must be consumed, rendering each subsequent avocado-drop more and more difficult. Also rendering all spleens burst. Because of the hilarity.

If you want me at any time during avocado fruiting season, you know where I’ll be.

Also PS: Please somebody tell me when avocado fruiting season is. ‘Preciate it. Thanks.



Anonymous said...

Is it wrong to love a blogger?

Kim said...

Marry me. Please.

Anonymous said...

Sadly the Avocado tree was in Soul Ranch I. We only have a lime tree at Soul Ranch II. It's nowhere near as fun

Jo said...

Anonymous 1: It's not wrong to love a blogger, however blogging a lover is in questionable taste.

Kim: How much money do you have?

Anonymous 2, or Not-Really-Anonymous-At-All: Coconuts. Go.

Kim said...

I have no money. I have however recently been told that I "fuck like a pornstar". Isn't that enough?

Dan the VespaMan said...

As long as the avocado's are Hass, Reed, or Wurtz variety it's GAME ON from now to xmas.