Recapped By Darzelle Wixton-Smythe, Who Has Neglected Her Mani/Pedi Regimen For Far Too Long Because Of This Stupid Show.
Matthew Newton is dead. Bert and Patti will be like, totally devastated. He comes back as a priest to visit Bob Trimboli in hospital, and luckily it’s as one of those priests who wear pants and stuff. So, like, in death, Matthew Newton is totally better dressed than in life.
So Bob Trimboli dies. He was always scared of being killed by some arsehole – bet he never thought it’d be his own hahahahahaha! Sorry.
George Freeman insists on wearing white budgie-smugglers. I kind of barf up a little bit of my Diet Coke into my mouth. This effing show is so effing ugly. I’m so effing glad it’s over. Eff.
The rest of the show is totally confusing, and people shoot each other a lot so all the storylines can be finished off neatly and so Lady Gaga can finish her career as a cop and start her career as a singer who doesn’t wear pants much.
So I don’t think I’m any smarter after watching this show, but I do think I now have something I want to print on a t-shirt to wear for the rest of my life. It also probably finishes off these stupid recaps well, because it’s all poignant and shit.
WHERE YOU’RE GOING, YOU WON’T NEED UNDIES.