Bum Shot #8: Australian Idol 2007

My job means that Idols come to my place of work to eat sausages and turn their buttocks towards the lens. Just lucky, I guess.
Carl Risely.

Chicks n'that. Lana Krost, Natalie Gauci, Tarisai Vushe. Totally not fake.

Mark Da Costa. No sun. Sunglasses. Because we rawk.

Matt Corby. Pretty eyes. Pretty arse. Then there's him.

Bum Shot #7: Marty Simpson

Big eyebrows. Wee arse.

Made-Up Word of the Week #3

invisible camera

Imaginary photographic device which confuses at one end and amuses at the other.


Origins: Last year, staff at my office got to meet all the Australian Idol contestants at a drinkies do in our boardroom. I was chatting to my mate Olivia when one of the more aesthetically pleasing Idols walked past, and she mentioned she wanted a photo with him, primarily so she could nestle into his barely post-pubescent armpit. Unfortunately Olivia didn't have a camera. I suggested that she should go up to him anyway, pose with him, and I would just mime taking a photo of him on an imaginary, invisible camera.

She wimped out.



Later in the evening, Olivia and I went out, and eventually she found herself being chatted up by an outrageously good-looking, stunningly stupid man.


She tapped me on the shoulder and, smirking, said "Hey Jo - do you mind taking our picture?"


"Sure!" I replied, going through the contents of my bag to find my invisible camera.


Having found it, I raised it to my face and mimed pressing the shutter button.

The guy barely blinked.



"Wait," said Olivia. "The flash didn't go off. Take another one".





Anyway, here's the photo:

Damn. I cut their heads off.

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Scrag.

Today is a grey, wet, rainy day in Sydney.
On the upside, it's also the day for malnourished persons of questionable education to audition for Series Four of Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag!

Auditions are being held at Warringah Mall in Sydney's Northern Beaches – I was going to pop along to join the queue for the chance to get some surreptitious photographs of rain-drenched wanna-be modules and some choice quotes, but:
a) I'm busy at work;
b) I'm too old;
c) I'm a size 10-12, and therefore massively overweight;
d) I'm four centimetres too short; and
e) I can spell 'queue'.

Luckily, one of my spies has managed to send a photo of one of the girls in the queue:

Bitch.