tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-239498362024-03-08T14:27:30.345+11:00Jo BlogsCondescending tub-thumping from an ivory tower with shaky foundationsJohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.comBlogger419125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-28051484098682309152015-04-26T14:39:00.000+10:002015-04-26T14:39:45.525+10:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag - Thank You<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh, hello. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You may have come here in the hope of finding recaps for Series 9 of <i>Australia's Next Top Model</i>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alas, this blog will no longer host those, for two reasons:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The very, very big reason is that the marvellous Charlotte Dawson is no longer with us. She was a massive champion of these recaps and through this blog she contacted me and we became good friends.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We'd sit at her apartment (with wine always and Monopoly sometimes) and watch Top Model episodes, her playing the bits she found particularly hilarious over and over and over again, laughing her boisterous and endearing guffaw. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Through and thanks to Charlotte, the recaps on this blog were given a very exciting amount of attention - she pretty much crammed them down the throat of anyone who admitted to watching the show, and solely from her influence I've been able to secure a lot of writing work.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She was so, so generous with her support of my writing, and making her laugh was an indescribable bonus. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There's no way I could write Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag without her. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The smaller reason is that I'll be writing shorter, less-sweary recaps of each show for news.com.au. I reckon she would've thought that was, in her words, "graysh".</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And for those of you who, as a result, may accuse me of selling out: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I KNOW, HOW COOL IS IT.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thank you very, very much for reading my recaps in the past. You made being a little bit mean to truly beautiful people and the world's best TV show so much fun. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">x</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jo.</span>Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-18509718194421535202013-09-25T13:44:00.002+10:002013-09-25T13:44:57.316+10:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Eight THE FINALE<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Okay, so let's not even pretend that there's going to be anything resembling quality on this page today. My eyeballs feel like they're sitting on refrigerated, salted saucers, and that fourteenth after-party duck pancake is not sitting well AT ALL. </span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">HOWEVER. I did take a pen to the live finale with me, and kept a tally of catchphrases to see What. Will Be. Reality Television's Most Overused Catchphrase, with a very surprising result.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU8mXYxJeQB4x_EX9mIf96ehOtR7NgLgMXF_Td121cz6MyadGVgTdHoBPF6CJYFF_8GY8tcZx4mD_TDBDL10ANj2QragFKM8-Bz-TEWemfA-2qz5-_-RDtACr45mmPOEtT-lE_/s1600/ANTM+FINALE+Catchphrase+log.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU8mXYxJeQB4x_EX9mIf96ehOtR7NgLgMXF_Td121cz6MyadGVgTdHoBPF6CJYFF_8GY8tcZx4mD_TDBDL10ANj2QragFKM8-Bz-TEWemfA-2qz5-_-RDtACr45mmPOEtT-lE_/s400/ANTM+FINALE+Catchphrase+log.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">While the word 'Amazing' was uttered TWENTY-SIX TIMES during the finale, it still didn't beat the end total that 'Oh My God' managed with 80.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">BUT.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Even though 'Oh My God' has been the clear frontrunner for the entire series, it was pipped at the post by late entry, 'Jen's Giggle', which totally sounds like a Melbourne Cup Horse (with just as many teeth). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Screamin' J. Hawkins giggled so many times that I ran out of ink and had to keep score by stabbing my empty pen directly into my ears.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As for the rest of the evening, let's do it in bullet points, because mummy's very tired from high shoes and champagne and avoiding April's death-stare all night.</span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Firstly and most importantly, I looked amazing, thank you for asking. Have you ever seen hair shine like that? Have you ever seen satin work harder at containment? Have you ever seen sparks like that from synthetic fabrics?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">THE BIG HEADPIECES ON THE MODULES, DO YOU MIND. Never have so many disco-frequenting chickens been plucked and super-glued for such a noble purpose. Enchanting.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Diddles in a brown velvet suit. At least, it looked brown and it looked velvet from where I was sitting. Still. That guy can make anything look like brown velvet.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When Dawso answered 'What do you think is going through the models' heads?' with "Nothing, they're models", I think we all pretty much wrote her into our wills. I myself am leaving her my collection of tissues I think James Franco might have used.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I very much enjoyed the performances by Rudi-Soleil-Lee. I mean Rick-Cirque-De-Mental. I... what? I wasn't paying attention, but the kids in the junior mosh-pit sure were. I saw at least three of them reach puberty right in front of me.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">During an ad-break, Shiny Alex Perry tripped over and hurt his leg. Wasn't watching where he was going. Should've gone to Specsavers.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm exceptionally apologetic about the previous bullet point.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">All the girls looked incredible, most of the frocks were spectacular, some of the pre-recorded 'journey' packages were excellent, and one of the girls really, really can't do catwalk. It's like she was carrying a watermelon between her thighs across an ice-rink to a hospital especially for cyclists. Still - beats strangling.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maddy Banana Paddy agreed to be my wife, although she's saving her official 'yes' for when she approves the ring. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali agreed to stay my new best friend, because really, isn't that the best/only prize there is?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">ANY of the top three could have won, and I reckon they'll all be busy modelling for the foreseeable future, and I was happy with the final two, and unexpectedly surprised but delighted with the winner. Shakespeare knew it all along, though. Didn't you, Bill?</span></li>
</ul>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs6a8I3bJXKXMtRuwXNVC4FDP53modVi4qwA4cKsH_p-7XVMCXpcmUmQsXHx6-zC8pJ24qgMTsYJvlRgNaHWXW96wu9wDJIvw1H5IhsqOWj-OycMAzD0BCisTzPIFTR981cv-_/s1600/ANTM+FINALE+Shakespeare.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="322" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs6a8I3bJXKXMtRuwXNVC4FDP53modVi4qwA4cKsH_p-7XVMCXpcmUmQsXHx6-zC8pJ24qgMTsYJvlRgNaHWXW96wu9wDJIvw1H5IhsqOWj-OycMAzD0BCisTzPIFTR981cv-_/s400/ANTM+FINALE+Shakespeare.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Totes.<br /><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So congratulations to all the magnificent scrags, yay to all the people who make the show, and massive, slightly dehydrated tongue pashes to everyone who read my insightful, cutting recaps. You are the wind beneath my... well, my arse. You are all my favourite little bum-farts, and I cherish you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yep.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pretty sure I'm having a stroke.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">.</span></div>
Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-75414779288084163602013-09-17T20:40:00.002+10:002013-09-17T20:40:51.283+10:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Eight #11<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I can’t believe it’s nearly finished.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I can’t believe there’s only three girls left.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I can’t believe that the instances of people looking
diagonally upwards in this show have just been reduced by one hundred percent.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But most of all, I can’t believe that Mauritius is an actual
legitimate fashion destination.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mind you, I wear ponchos. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Don your sarong and shake the sand out of your gusset, it’s
the ‘I Bless The Scrags Down Near Africa’ episode of <i>Australia’s Next Top Model</i>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dog. Trust me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">***</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Housekeeping<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We see a welcome (I’m doing finger-inverted-commas) return
of some classic catchphrases we haven’t seen in a while, no doubt due to the upping of tension in the final pre-recorded
episode of this series. Still, I think we can all agree that “Oh My God” is the
Alice Burdeu of catchphrases. Aaand “The Camera Loves You” is Eboni Stocks. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVMm8PieC6X_XKR3_XhMxu6oRwWxfCVvMmSV04P8anzUrlumrr4r2lPGyDUKpugxVGDbShhKmqnk45FLj36O0wEgp4soAX1gln7dD5sSKbETODEJdZFh3q7OEhyaXW14QU53lQ/s1600/ANTM8.11+Catchphrase+log.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVMm8PieC6X_XKR3_XhMxu6oRwWxfCVvMmSV04P8anzUrlumrr4r2lPGyDUKpugxVGDbShhKmqnk45FLj36O0wEgp4soAX1gln7dD5sSKbETODEJdZFh3q7OEhyaXW14QU53lQ/s400/ANTM8.11+Catchphrase+log.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’m still holding out for “That Bitch Stole My Cigarettes”
for the win, though. I just need to get someone to say it at the finale
seventy-nine times. My money’s on Jen Hawkins.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Overseasings<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Best Final Four (BFFs) start the day in the kitchen,
reminiscing about the time there was ten more of them and they all tried to fit
into the kitchen. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for
fourteen starving pubescent stick-insects to all cram into an open-plan kitchen
in a mansion. Brutal.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Abbie, counting on her fingers, exclaims “We are the top ONE
TWO THREE FOUR!”, which for some reason makes Duckie do this:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNt1lbzcbffbHk6HVYG5YuIyi2R-6ivjK8CkSuhPKSFcLezX9-KsR28AtHZOsP-VjXvZ6NiYyaLqbgFQig6GCxu-GE_X6LyXFMV8WL_xGs6kOs0tGpMTQx0wyqyrsZpNuG4UuR/s1600/ANTM8.11+Kitchen+pre+fart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNt1lbzcbffbHk6HVYG5YuIyi2R-6ivjK8CkSuhPKSFcLezX9-KsR28AtHZOsP-VjXvZ6NiYyaLqbgFQig6GCxu-GE_X6LyXFMV8WL_xGs6kOs0tGpMTQx0wyqyrsZpNuG4UuR/s400/ANTM8.11+Kitchen+pre+fart.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Which for some reason makes me do this:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK9x0awvToubegl1YoWdRmaMWE70fxqZGpUqJ-UwjZy_4tYgUsmy39VngQBUoR-EafU1BBexWwrOFrU_mQ11eM3by3x8owAi89q0yERzROQ2bKIhmbnsTUs73ItocXsAz0dyX1/s1600/ANTM8.11+Kitchen+fart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK9x0awvToubegl1YoWdRmaMWE70fxqZGpUqJ-UwjZy_4tYgUsmy39VngQBUoR-EafU1BBexWwrOFrU_mQ11eM3by3x8owAi89q0yERzROQ2bKIhmbnsTUs73ItocXsAz0dyX1/s400/ANTM8.11+Kitchen+fart.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And that reason is that I am a grown-up. God, I’m going to
miss making you guys fart so. Much. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawso enters, making Duckie wonder what she’s doing in their
house. The house provided by a television program in which Dawso is a judge and
a reasonably constant and relentless presence. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawso gushes, as far as her face will allow, about how far
the girls have come and how much they’ve changed. Then she starts putting a
bunch of long pauses between her words, and you just KNOW that that shit means
there’s something big coming. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Firstly…” she begins,</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmWUTtiiGbNDORYIvqsc_0Lva7N5_pSvi6onflvvbcKdFGK41OnMSMDGK-jSRBz1a74VUyv-fP-ZVpDctg9y1hg3AOpmOcmvZ7ikJd64gx85_lWfDb3GEiIEFsGHcaXkphn_n6/s1600/ANTM8.11+Frankenfurter+anticip.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="195" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmWUTtiiGbNDORYIvqsc_0Lva7N5_pSvi6onflvvbcKdFGK41OnMSMDGK-jSRBz1a74VUyv-fP-ZVpDctg9y1hg3AOpmOcmvZ7ikJd64gx85_lWfDb3GEiIEFsGHcaXkphn_n6/s400/ANTM8.11+Frankenfurter+anticip.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“…this is your last morning…”</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjskm5TTStrMqyU0LHZVHE4v6DnhIlnS-dZpsudM-j5skBcMfeqvqRQl5ld9AZs_TZ21TegBaXThceAjNOJotrjBN3Ap7qRk1AA3xR4885OWUNEW84bgSNH8-KxeJBzWY8Z2O5d/s1600/ANTM8.11+Anticipation+Scrags.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjskm5TTStrMqyU0LHZVHE4v6DnhIlnS-dZpsudM-j5skBcMfeqvqRQl5ld9AZs_TZ21TegBaXThceAjNOJotrjBN3Ap7qRk1AA3xR4885OWUNEW84bgSNH8-KxeJBzWY8Z2O5d/s400/ANTM8.11+Anticipation+Scrags.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“…in the Top Model house. Shortly…”</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyfu3V7UNKihAS-91F3LjVFMsOMDfkhrhj4mqHIGdCSFSFG0lzu5uPym8FGtGRLtRl2FuhzV0NidhRLZp_PDFefuaPhuXrC1yhqUmWexISMG39vTxKBF_IRaO-RIbgzUEIJjBW/s1600/ANTM8.11+anticipation+cat.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyfu3V7UNKihAS-91F3LjVFMsOMDfkhrhj4mqHIGdCSFSFG0lzu5uPym8FGtGRLtRl2FuhzV0NidhRLZp_PDFefuaPhuXrC1yhqUmWexISMG39vTxKBF_IRaO-RIbgzUEIJjBW/s400/ANTM8.11+anticipation+cat.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“I’m going to ask you to pack your bags…”</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFR4d0pAawwZ76aUzIybpGRjI-9hLxsU3byNSNhPYcJIyFnxY6nG-_hzY90LiM5r9YRwxaNp2XScg6kqZ3W1jZp3bJ-F136XnpZ_O2_ucNH0jSrq3EIVvky37UbJKByWb_4-_F/s1600/ANTM8.11+Lemur+anticipation.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="361" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFR4d0pAawwZ76aUzIybpGRjI-9hLxsU3byNSNhPYcJIyFnxY6nG-_hzY90LiM5r9YRwxaNp2XScg6kqZ3W1jZp3bJ-F136XnpZ_O2_ucNH0jSrq3EIVvky37UbJKByWb_4-_F/s400/ANTM8.11+Lemur+anticipation.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Secondly…”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrsO6hPyGmkWs1X9jOFOkXJWE8tDR9M_LDUstDX9XRSWH7EjBg2fOp3HzM4KunaWcGFXj2-CypeN9aqExFZ2ihWwirnojquTd5NrSobkVasV9V3WylIi0ASevVXO-a8AKGisIk/s1600/ANTM8.11+Anticipation+dogs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrsO6hPyGmkWs1X9jOFOkXJWE8tDR9M_LDUstDX9XRSWH7EjBg2fOp3HzM4KunaWcGFXj2-CypeN9aqExFZ2ihWwirnojquTd5NrSobkVasV9V3WylIi0ASevVXO-a8AKGisIk/s400/ANTM8.11+Anticipation+dogs.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“To test your resolve on just how much you want to win
Australia’s Next Top Model…”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTSq3GiH2cJxbSBCtZFzsw7kgTnV_So8YGen6vIapxpheS_pGA77rRyR9_Ngi766BeqalVLgp-MaS2IUJKLnB4wg67KP7BoL3SOC70vcPRo0j58Pg8XzY5VYicpPcuEDHFKqqh/s1600/ANTM8.11+Anticipation+Abbie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTSq3GiH2cJxbSBCtZFzsw7kgTnV_So8YGen6vIapxpheS_pGA77rRyR9_Ngi766BeqalVLgp-MaS2IUJKLnB4wg67KP7BoL3SOC70vcPRo0j58Pg8XzY5VYicpPcuEDHFKqqh/s400/ANTM8.11+Anticipation+Abbie.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“… you will be challenged by two photo shoots. And those two
photo shoots…”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_QNZHUqI6vP54fxYWF7AUes5PE4KODCpcu5_8XnWGmHEVgznysucvzuXaieIdKif5Q82Qrf4eAOjlshp_QBfxLH4uPr6f9-piol_5zHszA7km3Dtg2CvH2hlaldh_W7SlCwE_/s1600/ANTM8.11+Anticipation+koala.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_QNZHUqI6vP54fxYWF7AUes5PE4KODCpcu5_8XnWGmHEVgznysucvzuXaieIdKif5Q82Qrf4eAOjlshp_QBfxLH4uPr6f9-piol_5zHszA7km3Dtg2CvH2hlaldh_W7SlCwE_/s400/ANTM8.11+Anticipation+koala.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“…will be off the coast…”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwAZ3S7rCmb7gMgEiKk2WuyQEPNZtgMupq5iA-FpPuH3kuVLHf0uNjLF79sy06kM4JO-0-e5MFl3kye9iA3vcybD-BbLKPG8Xq-DSBvks6vWs4GzuV2XQBNtzfrJVYiQyxIXGI/s1600/ANTM8.11+anticipation+lemur+gif.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwAZ3S7rCmb7gMgEiKk2WuyQEPNZtgMupq5iA-FpPuH3kuVLHf0uNjLF79sy06kM4JO-0-e5MFl3kye9iA3vcybD-BbLKPG8Xq-DSBvks6vWs4GzuV2XQBNtzfrJVYiQyxIXGI/s400/ANTM8.11+anticipation+lemur+gif.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“OF AFRICA”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8fUw3z7CuEmx7By7fv0bHj19hlamiU3HvcJhVWEGfFZLrXrBAEMRK6BrpVOMVk_6YlcOfQDcrRn64-M8M1T9X38zwGJNju_Sxr_B27ZrLNdQlyat5LluNdmcd2YS4PaoO0Gzs/s1600/ANTM8.11+Abbie+Africa+gif.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8fUw3z7CuEmx7By7fv0bHj19hlamiU3HvcJhVWEGfFZLrXrBAEMRK6BrpVOMVk_6YlcOfQDcrRn64-M8M1T9X38zwGJNju_Sxr_B27ZrLNdQlyat5LluNdmcd2YS4PaoO0Gzs/s400/ANTM8.11+Abbie+Africa+gif.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank christ that’s over.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0MhLVqRnFClcMUyJgPfDvPshJJ4QzBKYm6xpyk3d8pF7olsXjx-IfIrQ54iIghpYSHtDZ6cMQgsEo0nk22oV6Zhj3tHAUqRxyrZTgkV9xKRGMnynM-8043Bd6FRJgzGpp79jb/s1600/ANTM8.11+Frankenfurter+pation.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="201" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0MhLVqRnFClcMUyJgPfDvPshJJ4QzBKYm6xpyk3d8pF7olsXjx-IfIrQ54iIghpYSHtDZ6cMQgsEo0nk22oV6Zhj3tHAUqRxyrZTgkV9xKRGMnynM-8043Bd6FRJgzGpp79jb/s400/ANTM8.11+Frankenfurter+pation.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">New pants, please.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawso explains that they’re going to Mauritius, and hands
over tickets for an ironically-named Air Mauritius flight. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Melissa gives a quick geography lesson to camera, saying
“Mauritius is an island in the… something ocean”. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wasn’t sure if she was right, so I looked it up in an
Atlas, and there it is! Of course.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZEsPi6iu5eMddo-KSMQemdbo-qEM8IaRxnnPf9CW-Qzd6Q2Xv0fhyphenhyphenRE3LPBtuYE3M-Jcg72bA_GbqmEy9LKqIuE4ecW-uvVwSoPCdT_ZL5xpyqey8xcTEc2nz4h1-1h9_zLfU/s1600/ANTM8.11+Something+Ocean.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZEsPi6iu5eMddo-KSMQemdbo-qEM8IaRxnnPf9CW-Qzd6Q2Xv0fhyphenhyphenRE3LPBtuYE3M-Jcg72bA_GbqmEy9LKqIuE4ecW-uvVwSoPCdT_ZL5xpyqey8xcTEc2nz4h1-1h9_zLfU/s400/ANTM8.11+Something+Ocean.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Well, bugger me.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie comments excitedly “My family’s originally from Sudan
and this is the closest I’ll get to getting back to the motherland”, which is
true if she never, ever travels again ever.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Despite being tired from her previous geographical
excellence, Melissa adds “It’s islands, so it’s surrounded by water, and they
speak French”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">People who actually speak French? Does Jade’s ghost know?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_7S0sAR7XEpeRMOrvbFl8-cLJ1EYNME39X4u7gLAk_smqDZE8-WOwyVEFLn_xu3OcoF2Whim4lcCHqNTV0TvXX8AEkgF5eYDPhMM_FRotyMumsZfMcwUSC2JyF7YAkDzQaL5f/s1600/ANTM8.11+Jade+ghost+mauritius+french.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_7S0sAR7XEpeRMOrvbFl8-cLJ1EYNME39X4u7gLAk_smqDZE8-WOwyVEFLn_xu3OcoF2Whim4lcCHqNTV0TvXX8AEkgF5eYDPhMM_FRotyMumsZfMcwUSC2JyF7YAkDzQaL5f/s400/ANTM8.11+Jade+ghost+mauritius+french.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Abbie, presumably whilst looking diagonally upwards at where
an Air Mauritius plane would be, says “I’ve never been on an Air Mauritius
plane”. Are you </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">sure</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">? That’s like Man
Ray saying “Y’know, I’ve never photographed a puppy in a rose garden in Sussex”
or, for the lowbrow amongst you, like Perez Hilton saying “I’m not sure if you
realise, but I sometimes have opinions that I don’t just keep to myself”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali notes that “The competition is getting more
competitive”, which I was going to make fun of for being obvious, but then I
remember that back at this year’s VMAs, someone noted that Miley Cyrus was
getting a tiny bit more slut-whorey, and look how that turned out.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The modules land in Mauritius and make their way to Le
Touessrok Resort, which is, in a tropically impressive way, complete bullshit.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I even picked up a postcard from the resort. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJuwVGYwI0eODZf4IHQ0x5JBTHBBc-iNqRD7F-Z87_8F-ipnojFHZNbe5aZJAnaOLFC5LHmPp6Tfrg_2akCdiTY4drqiOk1FFsk2GJKfAO6cufRBCvAFqRdr7iGn5YA-WdqtAp/s1600/ANTM8.11+rEsort+is+bullshit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJuwVGYwI0eODZf4IHQ0x5JBTHBBc-iNqRD7F-Z87_8F-ipnojFHZNbe5aZJAnaOLFC5LHmPp6Tfrg_2akCdiTY4drqiOk1FFsk2GJKfAO6cufRBCvAFqRdr7iGn5YA-WdqtAp/s400/ANTM8.11+rEsort+is+bullshit.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Mauritius Tourism Board likes to tell it like it is.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Challenged<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Few things are sure in this world. Death. Taxes. The
Kardashian Kollection. And now, to add to that list: Diddles Cohen should not
wear short shorts. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He’s there in Mauritius, greeting the girls on the beach and
geeing them up about possibly battling it out in the grand finale, possibly
overstretching the purpose for which the words ‘battling’ and ‘grand’ were
intended.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The miracle of television enables the scrags to change their
cossies in the blink of Diddles’ eye (which is almost visible in those shorts)
and pop themselves on a boat, a happenstance that Melissa is not entirely comfortable
with. See, when she was at a school camp once, her canoe bumped a boy’s canoe
and he was trapped underneath. Now, two things about this are very important:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
</div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">That ‘her canoe bumped a boy’s canoe’ is a very
sexy euphemism; and</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">I really can’t make fun of someone else’s
irrational fear when I am afraid of grasshoppers.</span></li>
</ol>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Far enough out in the water to make Melissa wish she’d worn
her brown swimming costume, the modules transfer to another boat that has a
ladder on it leading directly into the sea/Melissa’s screaming, sweaty
nightmares.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Diddles does the “I bet you’re wondering why were here etc”
schtick, and then goes on to tell the girls that they’ll be submerged under
eleven feet of water.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyvixBvvh9Gvf9-MYNymhmsXqvkEHhQHAOk0XD4EBQtcmokQz5yGIG1YnG_-UEwTHoKVYZa6ntx2Hm154rF7eFIyj9-JEgDhChdRZ5FuGwpwyMHFlEXn0DrPCBtE96zDAoAJbZ/s1600/ANTM8.11+Melissa+submerged+what.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyvixBvvh9Gvf9-MYNymhmsXqvkEHhQHAOk0XD4EBQtcmokQz5yGIG1YnG_-UEwTHoKVYZa6ntx2Hm154rF7eFIyj9-JEgDhChdRZ5FuGwpwyMHFlEXn0DrPCBtE96zDAoAJbZ/s400/ANTM8.11+Melissa+submerged+what.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On the ocean floor, they have to do their best runway walk
and then, over the space of a minute and while looking deeply into Diddles’
eyes (and directly away from his shorts), throw the most creative pose-shapes
possible, all in a bulbous helmet (which is almost visible in his shorts). </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Melissa is so scared that her face starts leaking water,
only serving to ironically add to the terror. Diddles tells her that she can’t
run away from her fears, because she’ll be in a 40kg helmet, gravity weights,
and have you seen anyone try to run underwater LOL.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Seriously, though. There’s nothing to be afraid of
underwater.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL_EHhITOCvLuUYpPxUpd3Cff2nDNl5I5DEzabHOX3j3USaJo1-6AB9jBQ576RdV0ecQeQwib179lazL89xIC_yTtnXmprYO6y7GC9rGXeXncpQf3b0uu16PYLh_M1TuClDQIk/s1600/ANTM8.11+Basking+shark.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL_EHhITOCvLuUYpPxUpd3Cff2nDNl5I5DEzabHOX3j3USaJo1-6AB9jBQ576RdV0ecQeQwib179lazL89xIC_yTtnXmprYO6y7GC9rGXeXncpQf3b0uu16PYLh_M1TuClDQIk/s400/ANTM8.11+Basking+shark.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Except Basking Sharks.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie throws her two cents in, saying sagely “If a
photographer wants something extreme, well if you want the job, you gotta do
it”. I think we all know that the exception here is anything looks like squid or
bulbous helmets in this scenario. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali goes first, and waves her arms around waftily in the
most sub-aquarianingly enchanting way. I figure I should also be enchanting and
take another opportunity to ride the slow train into fart town.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVWRmLEV8yslVIH_PpYhc4U7tgwdUSWvgfewtH2McZ3onrpZWOGazvQz-cTx4TlfVopUpsSlNAIdXWT0yf99DsZVjKs8eaZlVA2_X4GiuxS91p2DdyuCxvsWQ8OQPv7JnhI1Z5/s1600/ANTM8.11+Underwater+stand-off.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVWRmLEV8yslVIH_PpYhc4U7tgwdUSWvgfewtH2McZ3onrpZWOGazvQz-cTx4TlfVopUpsSlNAIdXWT0yf99DsZVjKs8eaZlVA2_X4GiuxS91p2DdyuCxvsWQ8OQPv7JnhI1Z5/s400/ANTM8.11+Underwater+stand-off.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Prrrrrt blublublub</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Side note – people do not look smart underwater.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQOwoYZaHQYDRCkBlztfsYv3LobCs492ZuS6P0JkmuNjsEPF6WtieGLRbJjjGRRcfqURQ1MJD425QGGxHJghOsJKkJRADe1adY74acda1rxW5dVn3LkiK87xFMkS9e5-WLfRu8/s1600/ANTM8.11+Diddles+not+smart+underwater.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQOwoYZaHQYDRCkBlztfsYv3LobCs492ZuS6P0JkmuNjsEPF6WtieGLRbJjjGRRcfqURQ1MJD425QGGxHJghOsJKkJRADe1adY74acda1rxW5dVn3LkiK87xFMkS9e5-WLfRu8/s400/ANTM8.11+Diddles+not+smart+underwater.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">HURR HURR HURR CLAPPING HURR</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Abbie isn’t even scared one bit, nuh-uh, and she takes her
stupid ridiculous body underwater and kind of dances like a retard. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Just before going under, Duckie says excitedly “Africans do
not swim. We run really fast”. Adamant Little Guy hops an Air Mauritius plane
just in time to get here.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI7odejkdp8PerD32ImuS22SMpZFTVbUANWGRwfRYe_6Bgjne9hOmKXaflu_vMqkGfXhJHYgA4HtfcXELDvyWYPCNCbmtJjb9HLQpLLe9Cor1wGFr4dqSq57Na1kkUb4Inqxun/s1600/thats-racist3.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI7odejkdp8PerD32ImuS22SMpZFTVbUANWGRwfRYe_6Bgjne9hOmKXaflu_vMqkGfXhJHYgA4HtfcXELDvyWYPCNCbmtJjb9HLQpLLe9Cor1wGFr4dqSq57Na1kkUb4Inqxun/s400/thats-racist3.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Honestly, Duckie. I expected more from you.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She describes herself as being like a drowning dog, and
re-interprets ‘catwalk’ as ‘kind of pointing at fish’.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Everyone thinks the experience is really cool. Except
Melissa. Everyone goes underwater. Except Melissa. Everyone is really
understanding of Melissa’s predicament. Except William Shakespeare.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4omFyEqKtWflydHIWnRoILkmzpkl0vAhOdrzssP5-nns7_A5izQBZK28b26v3QOOQZzsn8UGCIQwRbtFqIVBIRUzuYryyiGsQZa_iLOqyIUBDUqPfU87UBpBQXjPaSKx4HyPv/s1600/ANTM8.11+Shakespeare+no+biggie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4omFyEqKtWflydHIWnRoILkmzpkl0vAhOdrzssP5-nns7_A5izQBZK28b26v3QOOQZzsn8UGCIQwRbtFqIVBIRUzuYryyiGsQZa_iLOqyIUBDUqPfU87UBpBQXjPaSKx4HyPv/s400/ANTM8.11+Shakespeare+no+biggie.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Way to be sensitive, loser.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali wins the challenge prize, which is a traditional
Mauritian sugar scrub. Totally a thing. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Phoy-Toys Part 1<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Back at the luxury ranch, the girls stand outside a villa,
ready to lose their shit when they see Diddles, who they only just saw five minutes
ago, and Screamin’ J. Hawkins, who is the host of this program, stand in front
of them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">IT’S WEEK ELEVEN, YOU GUYS. LEARN TO MANAGE YOUR
EXPECTATIONS. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The two totally expected people say some dramatic things
about doing well in photo shoots, and then introduce this week’s photographer,
Chest Smith, who seems to have been working on his traps a smidge. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCs88a4Rie0gzOHt56oSsLFRT2B6tiig-fkItRFPeMOv-Dj1CXcuxHNzhn_vnDx2NxIVYg49Nu3fMolOaduYCs5uYXvzRWjAIbrSDrBmEPR0JL76qFsib0iG8lKmfzqIIU8OgP/s1600/ANTM8.11+Jez+traps.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCs88a4Rie0gzOHt56oSsLFRT2B6tiig-fkItRFPeMOv-Dj1CXcuxHNzhn_vnDx2NxIVYg49Nu3fMolOaduYCs5uYXvzRWjAIbrSDrBmEPR0JL76qFsib0iG8lKmfzqIIU8OgP/s400/ANTM8.11+Jez+traps.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hi, ladies.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Chest describes what he wants from the girls in their first
Mauritius shoot, telling them that it’s “high fashion” and that the theme is
“Sci-fi mermaid”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_LaPFl7v2rZNtk_1Iw4dG1r3YJRP7dzqVaRl0u8J1zsbnMyBN1jv4cdP9PqunfUDmeWahvzJIJINNAkxRTD4IsSo6Gd69GynMgkpt-M2Z_YwzkuqILzFUHyUB-jntELbs0lbC/s1600/ANTM8.11+Robo+mermaid.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_LaPFl7v2rZNtk_1Iw4dG1r3YJRP7dzqVaRl0u8J1zsbnMyBN1jv4cdP9PqunfUDmeWahvzJIJINNAkxRTD4IsSo6Gd69GynMgkpt-M2Z_YwzkuqILzFUHyUB-jntELbs0lbC/s400/ANTM8.11+Robo+mermaid.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nailed it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Their hair and make-up is greasy, shiny, black, glamorous,
and probably just as shootable around the rocky wet edges of a Forster/Tuncurry
caravan park, saving everybody at least two hundred and forty-five dollars in Air Mauritius airfares.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I feel like I should work in a retro TV theme at this point. Let’s see, beach location, nobody has good hair, people at
the start of their careers....</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">HENDERSON KIDS WITH BRIEF KYLIE MINOGUE MULLET
CAMEO, GO.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://img.youtube.com/vi/PdbjH7Zf_6k/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/PdbjH7Zf_6k&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/PdbjH7Zf_6k&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, I’m a bit of a wordsmith, so I’ll try and put this in a
way that even the uninitiated plebiscites will understand: </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Everyone looks fuckin’ babein’. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Melissa is first up, and I can’t even begin to talk about
her face. Seriously, now.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTmLTVhIA9dXj8tM9hKOOMdhB-sBPFET0H3oJdtqt79-wlvei8F5BYNLqfcQtnqTPt1L3T-L5M8Qf6vqTlsaCzd-_2XR-Og50fUs35uSyzdKna2JL1MU-hmxcWGenYrSR83Ulk/s1600/ANTM8.11+Melissa+shut+up+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTmLTVhIA9dXj8tM9hKOOMdhB-sBPFET0H3oJdtqt79-wlvei8F5BYNLqfcQtnqTPt1L3T-L5M8Qf6vqTlsaCzd-_2XR-Og50fUs35uSyzdKna2JL1MU-hmxcWGenYrSR83Ulk/s400/ANTM8.11+Melissa+shut+up+face.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Right up.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Abbie, possibly the longest human in existence, gives the
onlooking girls a couple of evils while she proves that she is, without a single
doubt in the known universe:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWSEVdkEfCsmOCPXx0hUeH0ZkIOY-BV37aLmoiOmuO_sP9w74XHAfWe3CdCOnXV_91ha4fw8U6a6pMxIV5cxu7hrivV99QkZWWi0Fml7krpgwTbTJtFl2S6Dw6LhLhOxZw_s8X/s1600/ANTM8.11+aBBIE+cranky+queen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWSEVdkEfCsmOCPXx0hUeH0ZkIOY-BV37aLmoiOmuO_sP9w74XHAfWe3CdCOnXV_91ha4fw8U6a6pMxIV5cxu7hrivV99QkZWWi0Fml7krpgwTbTJtFl2S6Dw6LhLhOxZw_s8X/s400/ANTM8.11+aBBIE+cranky+queen.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's an obvious progression from being Princess Constipation-Features.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali, first to work in a tree instead of on some rocks,
moves beautifully, looks stunning, and gives herself one simple piece of
advice.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYFc30NCptNDAVfMDW9dGTbsnhfeOsp__FIQAwfxM1pA88L4PKW2GtvXHXhMCUNP2m8F0Mw3JF7OIYFT_ObdJKFD4kcAFwK7qO9y3HXEzc0xkKb9nR0B83vG9dSUi7H5hp2nMj/s1600/ANTM8.11+SHANALI+DON%2527T+FALL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYFc30NCptNDAVfMDW9dGTbsnhfeOsp__FIQAwfxM1pA88L4PKW2GtvXHXhMCUNP2m8F0Mw3JF7OIYFT_ObdJKFD4kcAFwK7qO9y3HXEzc0xkKb9nR0B83vG9dSUi7H5hp2nMj/s400/ANTM8.11+SHANALI+DON%2527T+FALL.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What's the worst that could happen?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali falls.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie, also posing in a tree, says that “I couldn’t really
find myself in the tree”. Here’s a hint.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdA2zY3HUONEvF-5JN4NnESZpJAM3UeA17qngPFtdOZ7a1YZHLXb6vK7bN3SAzNljVdM5vOEA9nVEefiizosp8_eRWVeId0AwDz4UXqJLpYVUwqHlGbWPgB2zhfX8iIzHVxAoZ/s1600/ANTM8.11+Duckie+find+yourself+near+tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdA2zY3HUONEvF-5JN4NnESZpJAM3UeA17qngPFtdOZ7a1YZHLXb6vK7bN3SAzNljVdM5vOEA9nVEefiizosp8_eRWVeId0AwDz4UXqJLpYVUwqHlGbWPgB2zhfX8iIzHVxAoZ/s400/ANTM8.11+Duckie+find+yourself+near+tree.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Theeeeere you are.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She’s worried about damaging her shoes, right up until the
point that she damages her shoes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s a tops photo shoot. It's just tops. I’m getting soft and
sincere in week eleven. Don’t tell anyone or I’ll stab you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Interlude: Family
Stuff In A Driveway<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Back at the resort, having washed the mermaid grease out of
their hair, the modules take their seats at a table in the middle of what looks
like a tropical driveway to be smiled at woodenly by Screamin’ J. Hawkins. They
have lunch and read each other messages from their families. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is exactly as endearing as a public pool Band-Aid. Let us
continue. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Phoy-Toys 2: The
Photening<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Back from the break, we go through the prizes, which I think
this year include half a packet of antiseptic wet-wipes and a ferret. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The scrags get up ridiculously early for their second photo
shoot, and are splurted out of a mini-bus straight into a Mauritian fishing
village in extremely colourful outfits, hair and make-up. Melissa describes
their surroundings in excruciating detail, expounding: “We got out of the car
and there’s locals everywhere, all these fishing boats, like people drinking,
and like sick dogs walking around and like one like, threw up”. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To fully illustrate Melissa’s poetry, the editors briefly
show footage of a dog, and-</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">WAIT A GODDAMN FLEA-SCRATCHING SECOND. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Okay, bear with me here. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Remember the dog they showed in Episode 2? <a href="http://jo-joblogs.blogspot.com.au/2013/07/australias-next-top-westie-scrag-series_16.html">The one in the streets of Thailand</a><span id="goog_1977288758"></span><span id="goog_1977288759"></span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a>? Have a reminder:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8tiPgE44DtJSEkOxmBaJKqUg1NMOs5bn3Qhq32e0zaCJyvcAhwDAGBk9Uy_nEavjkQ31xSLHD6KIKfYZCNzuZC3BBeOvjitnCtgVnmM5EV2EnKPS3lGO2SGoJ3eTCsT1hl1U9/s1600/ANTM8.2+Unimpressed+dog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8tiPgE44DtJSEkOxmBaJKqUg1NMOs5bn3Qhq32e0zaCJyvcAhwDAGBk9Uy_nEavjkQ31xSLHD6KIKfYZCNzuZC3BBeOvjitnCtgVnmM5EV2EnKPS3lGO2SGoJ3eTCsT1hl1U9/s400/ANTM8.2+Unimpressed+dog.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Okay, THIS is a picture of the dog in Mauritius:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUt6CVgOKy6zQ2LsIpoKdfrgoFbkYhbiWilLckrti1UsaPQV7P3LPTz1xWeNh_bgASRd5QKilg_0y0Wdl2_g2NqLwdNpBha_oypHTB_r8UeBifMaR5B_77FaLMDXCbsczw012W/s1600/ANTM8.11+Samedog3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUt6CVgOKy6zQ2LsIpoKdfrgoFbkYhbiWilLckrti1UsaPQV7P3LPTz1xWeNh_bgASRd5QKilg_0y0Wdl2_g2NqLwdNpBha_oypHTB_r8UeBifMaR5B_77FaLMDXCbsczw012W/s400/ANTM8.11+Samedog3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That, friends, and I say this after intensive research and
with hand-on-boob sincerity: THAT. IS THE SAME FUCKING DOG. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I shall call him Samedog. We shall be lifelong companions,
and I think I deserve this week’s trophy for noticing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjABTtXmxoWcH3Za2yu_QUHjJG5PBnaJxBHfWntsHppxN6bhyphenhyphenx-dqEPZWg9esSEPAQfS3oajW9jGasAA7TY1MoAVxi6OIj5As1Xtd6u9iTczLWWG4wYYpl3HJoPu2uD3YaUkiFi/s1600/ANTM8.11+sAMEDOG+TROPHY.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjABTtXmxoWcH3Za2yu_QUHjJG5PBnaJxBHfWntsHppxN6bhyphenhyphenx-dqEPZWg9esSEPAQfS3oajW9jGasAA7TY1MoAVxi6OIj5As1Xtd6u9iTczLWWG4wYYpl3HJoPu2uD3YaUkiFi/s400/ANTM8.11+sAMEDOG+TROPHY.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Samedog Trophy. For people who notice Samedog.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The girls line up in front of Diddles, Screamin’J. Hawkins,
and Chest Smith, to hear what they’ll</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S THE SAME FUCKING DOG.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Seriously. I’m sure I’ve seen Samedog somewhere else as
well. Somewhere… somewhere fashionable. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMho0Bo2ZyhU_nSvyCElVtX4lcEh0A74og7Gf7Tzz-rpSBUk7IVQVJi8kDcpu2pn3o-fYtFI6zNA5-NqJRnql_sJAS9SKfVPHqI2X0afL4X9pu_OOumvWSyYK1Dp3TJg3Ea1hx/s1600/Samedog+catwalk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMho0Bo2ZyhU_nSvyCElVtX4lcEh0A74og7Gf7Tzz-rpSBUk7IVQVJi8kDcpu2pn3o-fYtFI6zNA5-NqJRnql_sJAS9SKfVPHqI2X0afL4X9pu_OOumvWSyYK1Dp3TJg3Ea1hx/s400/Samedog+catwalk.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">LIKE THE CATWALKS OF MILAN FOR EXAMPLE</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sorry. I’m sorry. Is it a dogwalk in this instance? Right,
sorry.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of their get-ups and surroundings, Duckie says “It was an
explosion of colour, like literally”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimxmWIy0xS05sDAFcdaqD3EspmbTp2PUX6PKqkC4e7SHdc0nOAKCC57ihlkgJveZJpvv4w6AK4cVkJaou23DoQvjeIU0ROG5VTB46YyImUWqwgEW2Qld-G0XArcRJ_FaFp_zZk/s1600/ANTM8.9+Hulk+think+you+mean+figuratively.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimxmWIy0xS05sDAFcdaqD3EspmbTp2PUX6PKqkC4e7SHdc0nOAKCC57ihlkgJveZJpvv4w6AK4cVkJaou23DoQvjeIU0ROG5VTB46YyImUWqwgEW2Qld-G0XArcRJ_FaFp_zZk/s400/ANTM8.9+Hulk+think+you+mean+figuratively.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't make Hulk tell you again.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jez explains the shoot with yet another sci-fi bent, saying
“You’re the woman that fell to earth and landed here”. He asks them to be ‘in
the moment’, and to both blend in with their surroundings </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> stand out. MODELLING IS SO HARD, YOU GUYS.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie is first, and she has to walk down a couple of stairs
AND hold her skirt up at the same time AND look off into the distance. See: previous
statement about modelling and hardness and stuff.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She does reasonably well until, recognising the unstoppable style
maelstrom that is his own mad skill, Samedog walks in on the shoot. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">SAMEDOG, RIGHT?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">WALKS IN, RIGHT?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">ON THE MOTHER-FLAPPING SHOOT. HE’S A MODEL, DARLING.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Samedog is my spirit fashion animal. I mean, how did he
even get from Thailand to Mauritius? Like, obviously on Air Mauritius, but how
did he even make it out of the airport?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3_SzNRBfk9yeSLQ-PTvx7WQSub0yY4nCPTYLxPp0ldVAGiKplG7cIUtlgw3YQOXf3d3pTjuL_k6965N8CdidA1fcqXAca54KRmAjWW7u6UEgoxzyjQkv1vp0uQxuWjBmCtzt1/s1600/ANTM8.11+Samedog+passport.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3_SzNRBfk9yeSLQ-PTvx7WQSub0yY4nCPTYLxPp0ldVAGiKplG7cIUtlgw3YQOXf3d3pTjuL_k6965N8CdidA1fcqXAca54KRmAjWW7u6UEgoxzyjQkv1vp0uQxuWjBmCtzt1/s400/ANTM8.11+Samedog+passport.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh, <i>right</i>.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Look, as far as I’m concerned, Samedog is one of the
contestants now. See you at finale, Samedog.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie tries not to get distracted by Samedog, but she’s
only human. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s Melissa’s turn, and she has to flick her hair, which
she handles by pretending she’s in the Hunger Games, a totes legit modelling
technique, especially because hunger = RELEVANT, AM I RIGHT?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Chest Smith confirms that “there’s actually a technique to
model hair-flicking”, a fact that Samedog confirms by nonchalantly munching on
a persistent flea.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPxzvXZ0HVsoQM8GpgZqzhjXUdsTg62f5-C5BR8SqkVFHHcP34RGqiTouDoYMjpmxozwGw4eu6DouAv6PPqhkM2zpzLGpZqlgm4WGsHmVheVqn0eWAosnD9gjuOHUBJ6APVbs/s1600/ANTM8.11+Samedog1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPxzvXZ0HVsoQM8GpgZqzhjXUdsTg62f5-C5BR8SqkVFHHcP34RGqiTouDoYMjpmxozwGw4eu6DouAv6PPqhkM2zpzLGpZqlgm4WGsHmVheVqn0eWAosnD9gjuOHUBJ6APVbs/s400/ANTM8.11+Samedog1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Either that or he's just inhaling the first release of his own signature scent: 'Samedog'.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali has to walk in a straight line, but just in case you
think that sounds easy, she totally has to do it first in one direction, and
then in another. The Geneva Convention is all over this shit. She absolutely
rocks it, because that’s rule eight in the Being Jo’s Total Bestie Handbook. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Abbie has to walk aggressively but nonchalantly towards the
camera with a floral-print box on her hips and a pre-teen soccer game going on
behind her. She once again brings the cranky-face, but doesn’t seem to click to
what Chest Smith is throwing down. Still. Girl is like nine feet tall. Respeck.
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The modules walk along the Mauritius beach one last time for
a bit of scene-setting before we all inevitably turn up at the eliminatorium
with no sense at all of having travelled.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eliminationosity<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Suddenly, we’re back at the eliminatorium with no sense at
all of having travelled. As the girls stroll in, they each get a little bit of
voice-over time to mention that they’re quite determined and it would be
reasonably nice to win, just in case you didn’t catch that earlier as a general
motif. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Screamin’ J. Hawkins is there to meet them in disturbingly
luminous scarlet. It almost makes her hair look like it’s been Photoshopped in
afterwards. See it?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh09xTFrw530gh-vTIeQ-FQVKfvkvZF1oyYc2Y6vordVkJjWDDmhRIPXYMnpN_GLeVtl_PskYdKG6Etff5Z0gVgfxQa1eQ1yFpnbA3uzDy0PtoVY9oCToQnSHU2Fj3HaUMSh3Hi/s1600/ANTM8.11+Jen+scarlet+pre+photoshop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh09xTFrw530gh-vTIeQ-FQVKfvkvZF1oyYc2Y6vordVkJjWDDmhRIPXYMnpN_GLeVtl_PskYdKG6Etff5Z0gVgfxQa1eQ1yFpnbA3uzDy0PtoVY9oCToQnSHU2Fj3HaUMSh3Hi/s400/ANTM8.11+Jen+scarlet+pre+photoshop.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No, no, stare at it for a while. Doesn’t it look
Photoshopped?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaGSVfr7ZS4L-WFikm7ucG2-LWmw0t9XkIqBuTNzi2SDMkCyMovkDavS10-qSwcC9_pGt5QcX9J8ENcKZZcET_luZvb3CLME1tbHXSzoEEH8-w0eV4aRClkit4h7WBeEMaDXqn/s1600/ANTM8.11+Jen+scarlet+post+photoshop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaGSVfr7ZS4L-WFikm7ucG2-LWmw0t9XkIqBuTNzi2SDMkCyMovkDavS10-qSwcC9_pGt5QcX9J8ENcKZZcET_luZvb3CLME1tbHXSzoEEH8-w0eV4aRClkit4h7WBeEMaDXqn/s400/ANTM8.11+Jen+scarlet+post+photoshop.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Especially if you squint.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jen introduces Dawso, who blows a kiss, Didier, who blows
his whole pay packet on hair product, and Shiny Alex Perry, who is dressed as a
tablecloth in a restaurant where they serve a dog’s breakfast.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC7VR0uGOJ9lvHIluF2hl_3lfEJu9GaEPq3wb7Y6EPmnsK5Km9rR0Ws7_QfeS1Xkg6etmMaw3DVVWOmZlUzwEXplfo2Pw5_kj1NatKTVkCg5wIPM7tOwVOJjCC5x7vTglw8cgL/s1600/ANTM8.11+SAP+dogs+breakfast.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC7VR0uGOJ9lvHIluF2hl_3lfEJu9GaEPq3wb7Y6EPmnsK5Km9rR0Ws7_QfeS1Xkg6etmMaw3DVVWOmZlUzwEXplfo2Pw5_kj1NatKTVkCg5wIPM7tOwVOJjCC5x7vTglw8cgL/s400/ANTM8.11+SAP+dogs+breakfast.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">An oddly familiar dog's breakfast. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Final photographs are critically leafed through, with a
smattering of interestingness:</span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Do not try to say “Melissa in Mauritius” with a
mouthful of Jatz. Not that anyone did, but I just imagined it, and you
shouldn’t do it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Dawso tells Melissa that her mermaid shot
reminds her of Japanese horror film ‘The Ring’.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG9gKvk2Upfu4CPP0MVIVB0gXsOG88TbiRBQM0Nth9abqs1xZ16YIDZGadzsXm8YrWshYfObvXiQ-00uqZf3-6ldQQkzjDvt-mIOYAy5iGWIUU_zoAgSYyD7ZKyF3_HxXNI4I7/s1600/ANTM8.11+Melissa+greeeaaat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG9gKvk2Upfu4CPP0MVIVB0gXsOG88TbiRBQM0Nth9abqs1xZ16YIDZGadzsXm8YrWshYfObvXiQ-00uqZf3-6ldQQkzjDvt-mIOYAy5iGWIUU_zoAgSYyD7ZKyF3_HxXNI4I7/s400/ANTM8.11+Melissa+greeeaaat.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Shiny Alex Perry doesn’t like Duckie’s mermaid
shot, saying it’s too dark. Luckily Adamant Little Guy is still in Mauritius,
although I think I can hear him from here.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Abbie’s fishing village shot causes a great deal
of disagreement between the judges, who can’t decide if she’s ‘punching it out’
or ‘on a Sunday stroll’. I can’t see any way of resolving this without
involving the courts. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ9ioMR_ULxaUNXXwpHdNZIgvNLW3SJcOnVzCouZtdf-sG3q17Cp1cKdq0l4i2vVcTIC2d07kSp0l9dpmjP4g7ck2caOyqB7Yb0508sfPGr4qc11NLMuBXUdKRfcb_xWBhu9FL/s1600/ANTM8.11+jUDGE+jUDY.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ9ioMR_ULxaUNXXwpHdNZIgvNLW3SJcOnVzCouZtdf-sG3q17Cp1cKdq0l4i2vVcTIC2d07kSp0l9dpmjP4g7ck2caOyqB7Yb0508sfPGr4qc11NLMuBXUdKRfcb_xWBhu9FL/s400/ANTM8.11+jUDGE+jUDY.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sorry, Judge Judy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">Shanali’s colourful shot smashes it out of the
park so hard, the park is flung backwards from the force of the thrust and
several galaxies are sucked into the remaining vortex. LOOK AT THIS SHIT.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiNlSxrBB5XozCo-d-c10yYxlso4zKkK-ge6K7I421tJN0VHSvHgh5Aj9XCrNb4KZsnNnzdazJTFuK-9KqM7i8bK7qGyHKTw5P7Vii2BBsuzPYn6fyzwxFP2TLSqvxMT8TK43y/s1600/ANTM8.11+Shanali+shot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiNlSxrBB5XozCo-d-c10yYxlso4zKkK-ge6K7I421tJN0VHSvHgh5Aj9XCrNb4KZsnNnzdazJTFuK-9KqM7i8bK7qGyHKTw5P7Vii2BBsuzPYn6fyzwxFP2TLSqvxMT8TK43y/s400/ANTM8.11+Shanali+shot.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't even talk to me for like fifteen minutes.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The judges are beside themselves about the photo, but manage
to contain themselves. Mostly.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnihAo0dVKwjzONoHMWKimb0f7wDTRC5tyMde6LcrCzDIGv-QdZS__PJEElE4emp4JMfQe-CMIBu9ZGUgnweJKFBAAlNRIcojngGQm-PdX1drrYqZwHVpJULR_bA8bU2waPyNV/s1600/ANTM8.11+Dawso+shanali+reaction.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnihAo0dVKwjzONoHMWKimb0f7wDTRC5tyMde6LcrCzDIGv-QdZS__PJEElE4emp4JMfQe-CMIBu9ZGUgnweJKFBAAlNRIcojngGQm-PdX1drrYqZwHVpJULR_bA8bU2waPyNV/s400/ANTM8.11+Dawso+shanali+reaction.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The judges deliberate, Dawso says “Shanali for the finale”
because I was going to use that but she got in first GODDAMMIT, the scrags file
back into the room to hear who gets to go to finale, and it’s actually really
freakin’ tense.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">OMG, WHO DO YOU THINK IS GOING, AMAZING PSYCHIC DESK?!?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy8MZu0icGcIGHc3RiDlDNU7xFZYEVTexMGb3mP16RPY2kQ6h4oe0WoGo6u-F-jbx0oIEPhqqPHQ3RjbkILMjhBPvjD-Muzarq18QwU-pRsCzoKf8HIJGnjdPS_jsBspPf4IgR/s1600/ANTM8.11+Amazing+Psychic+Desk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy8MZu0icGcIGHc3RiDlDNU7xFZYEVTexMGb3mP16RPY2kQ6h4oe0WoGo6u-F-jbx0oIEPhqqPHQ3RjbkILMjhBPvjD-Muzarq18QwU-pRsCzoKf8HIJGnjdPS_jsBspPf4IgR/s400/ANTM8.11+Amazing+Psychic+Desk.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I did actually have a feeling you'd say that, Amazing Psychic Desk.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali gets photo of the week because duh. Melissa is next,
because almost as much duh.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eight thousand million years pass, and the girl who will
join Shanali and Melissa in the grand finale is…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvxtVundALNEz4RDdlfzwgZgm7SwTJXzlvn96PcOJam3bEIeE9tvJYtZuyY4N0Fi5WD5MA0lSXPP0vYEtAEfBJEhfMO5QoeA3NWgZDOgNXbdlU_Uhu3hKcQUPG1LOfv4fwGxdh/s1600/ANTM8.11+anticipation+gaga.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvxtVundALNEz4RDdlfzwgZgm7SwTJXzlvn96PcOJam3bEIeE9tvJYtZuyY4N0Fi5WD5MA0lSXPP0vYEtAEfBJEhfMO5QoeA3NWgZDOgNXbdlU_Uhu3hKcQUPG1LOfv4fwGxdh/s400/ANTM8.11+anticipation+gaga.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie. Which means Abbie gets the ol’ laser eyes. </span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGlYjoUaOd9X-lA-cc0JStMKJlRmj1biF_xOx-7rhBafRM81Z_9Xj-WCaYnwSOxHuj5Jc8A0s7wAFmj_jk0Jyz7B-_SFkSzRBXcncAww3k3tivtyfEktTdl3tKNgIX9oVBx6NH/s1600/ANTM8.11+Samedog+laser+eyes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGlYjoUaOd9X-lA-cc0JStMKJlRmj1biF_xOx-7rhBafRM81Z_9Xj-WCaYnwSOxHuj5Jc8A0s7wAFmj_jk0Jyz7B-_SFkSzRBXcncAww3k3tivtyfEktTdl3tKNgIX9oVBx6NH/s400/ANTM8.11+Samedog+laser+eyes.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pew woof pew</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijJBR54s8TSJku9ihG4phJNXJs1oJdn93Tona1dVdPjLgEswBzIvpTgsYXAVAtJF5llsoiAG4cd3Q5O0CC1MjYXch3GmKI_4jur8tj90iDnSiJ_djFnCouYwR0dUobBEcgMG1J/s1600/ANTM8.11+Head+asplode.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijJBR54s8TSJku9ihG4phJNXJs1oJdn93Tona1dVdPjLgEswBzIvpTgsYXAVAtJF5llsoiAG4cd3Q5O0CC1MjYXch3GmKI_4jur8tj90iDnSiJ_djFnCouYwR0dUobBEcgMG1J/s400/ANTM8.11+Head+asplode.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bye, Abbie. You grew on all of us, which is major ironic
LOLs because don’t grow any more you really tall weird freak. You’re an
awesome, awesome girl, and I think you should, perhaps with wistful tears in
your eyes, look diagonally upwards just one more time.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT3rI4mmv56yBhyTtNulVrTetUV03_s_65nKjlvoDDzfhX2iuTZ4qskf1EiJYiMFRl-Ur81LpM5Cs2f-wM6mDsOXmYLXDtJJV9_6hkylKlW5eKU87ZGRseVZzCPhnCBiLge8c4/s1600/ANTM8.11+Abbie+last+words.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT3rI4mmv56yBhyTtNulVrTetUV03_s_65nKjlvoDDzfhX2iuTZ4qskf1EiJYiMFRl-Ur81LpM5Cs2f-wM6mDsOXmYLXDtJJV9_6hkylKlW5eKU87ZGRseVZzCPhnCBiLge8c4/s400/ANTM8.11+Abbie+last+words.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Exactly.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Before we go, I have three things to say. </span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 7pt;"> 1. </span><!--[endif]-->The winner is decided by public vote. I thought
my notes just said ‘pubic vote’, though, which is weird. I asked my own pubes
who they thought should win, and they just gave their usual answer: James
Franco.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 7pt;"> 2. </span><!--[endif]-->I am very grateful to be invited to next week’s
finale, which means that the recap of finale will be late, and it will be undisputed
rubbish. I’ll be doing it from memory, and I will be doing everything I can to
erase that memory with glamorous and windswept drinking. Rest assured, though,
that I will be sitting in that audience aspirating “I wanna be on top-aaaaaaah”
every single time, and expect you to do the same.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 7pt;"> 3. </span><!--[endif]-->We can’t go without saying goodbye to one other
fashion juggernaut, using the traditional end-of-episode fade-out.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGu1UnwnqDAadNcqBhGoehBamGEDDLFZCGsb0bgRLBMpKeYfndeEg1ueKb6xSRhgCqSJwiClUpO5WQflHpH5xtFiKXSja7cSnR3nJPIMfHVjXpadGiWXZxoGBG3YgvE-97f-BV/s1600/Samedog+fade.gif.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGu1UnwnqDAadNcqBhGoehBamGEDDLFZCGsb0bgRLBMpKeYfndeEg1ueKb6xSRhgCqSJwiClUpO5WQflHpH5xtFiKXSja7cSnR3nJPIMfHVjXpadGiWXZxoGBG3YgvE-97f-BV/s400/Samedog+fade.gif.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bye, Samedog. We’ll miss you most of all.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">.</span></div>
Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-40145144577720822832013-09-10T20:40:00.000+10:002013-09-10T20:40:01.255+10:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Eight #10<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Any way you look at it (from underneath is my personal
preference), this week is all about penis. The modules spend an inordinate
amount of time pretending to have them, plus I spend my usual amount of time
thinking about them. They're put to the test(icle) in an awesome challenge in
which an almost unbelievably hot lady in a cafe asks them for a newspaper, but
more of that excellent, excellent shit later.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Adjust your genitals and forget to call when you’re going to
be later than you said you were going to be, it’s the ‘Walk Like a Scrag, Talk
Like A Scrag’ episode of <i>Australia’s Next
Top Model.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Turn your head and cough.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Penis.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
</div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Housekeeping<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Make no mistake, I am almost unspeakably bored with finding
out What. Will Be. Reality Television’s Most Overused Cathphrase, or at least I
was until the currently-winning phrase, ‘Oh My God’, reached a grand total of
69. That’s a sex thing, you know.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguCI6Ck3aOv2-s3zGpyIdPBVzHtAy8z5mXe6_LtFBKa4Q9zcYHozvY_zQvggmC7Zxos1gH_STdYfRwYxHt6nTATqhTe1aJ0POVCF4XtmVOwL1nFwLkMQYrLlesittEOmBGNNwj/s1600/ANTM8.10+Catchphrase+log.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguCI6Ck3aOv2-s3zGpyIdPBVzHtAy8z5mXe6_LtFBKa4Q9zcYHozvY_zQvggmC7Zxos1gH_STdYfRwYxHt6nTATqhTe1aJ0POVCF4XtmVOwL1nFwLkMQYrLlesittEOmBGNNwj/s400/ANTM8.10+Catchphrase+log.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I guess with fewer girls in the competition, there’s less conversation,
so fewer catchphrases. Mind you, there’s also fewer attempted stranglings, so
swings and roundabouts I suppose.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Learnment<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The scrags are in the kitchen fulfilling their on-camera
morning healthy-food-preparation obligations, when Melissa goes to the fridge
and finds a Jen Mail nestled next to the milk, causing an Oscar-winning amount
of perplexed surprise. I took a screen shot of it, but I should warn those with
dodgy tickers or high blood pressure: it is VERY SURPRISING.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZgyRqmzSo-jzUsp1ZliU76c8q3kxdpKTNP_SxL-v0n1Yn-QEsgKOPvWxzLx9t3InueW14XS11VUw-YMaD3ey22Dd6tkFB-Nlr3Vbvjn0GpcZI-jatQfTalgJ2qKWHCIsmYhQc/s1600/ANTM8.10+Fridge+Jen+Mail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZgyRqmzSo-jzUsp1ZliU76c8q3kxdpKTNP_SxL-v0n1Yn-QEsgKOPvWxzLx9t3InueW14XS11VUw-YMaD3ey22Dd6tkFB-Nlr3Vbvjn0GpcZI-jatQfTalgJ2qKWHCIsmYhQc/s400/ANTM8.10+Fridge+Jen+Mail.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">OMG</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">See? I can only think of three things that you could find in
the fridge that would be more surprising, and one of them is, of course, Bindi
Irwin.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgChG7iKs5lz62SFLFAwIhbm3OCzGT_8Q1ZrMiAVKfMsfFW_R-9b9aLMGEXVixzwXUYUsUInTIOyDGVeX-xru38LgsWfxOGI19xYtMiPkrQdLn8VPYwtd1r6gEPQWKIByTuLn32/s1600/ANTM8.10+Fridge+Jen+Mail+Bindi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgChG7iKs5lz62SFLFAwIhbm3OCzGT_8Q1ZrMiAVKfMsfFW_R-9b9aLMGEXVixzwXUYUsUInTIOyDGVeX-xru38LgsWfxOGI19xYtMiPkrQdLn8VPYwtd1r6gEPQWKIByTuLn32/s400/ANTM8.10+Fridge+Jen+Mail+Bindi.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">OMG</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Or like, Michael Jackson. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDDikoYODFiweV5ppJf1__eZQ_75rdXWNFQBb8Gw23ymCdVw7e9lbNFgjLfOT3GJxVD9pyZ7vLjdFBUuVSwjHU-Jxb8gFaLxo63cbquHuvBjO7pyFxEjZkHXTcWxDDfTp1gtdN/s1600/ANTM8.10+Fridge+Jen+Mail+MJ.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDDikoYODFiweV5ppJf1__eZQ_75rdXWNFQBb8Gw23ymCdVw7e9lbNFgjLfOT3GJxVD9pyZ7vLjdFBUuVSwjHU-Jxb8gFaLxo63cbquHuvBjO7pyFxEjZkHXTcWxDDfTp1gtdN/s400/ANTM8.10+Fridge+Jen+Mail+MJ.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">OMG</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Or like an Australian one cent piece, because you totally
can’t get those any more.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjisLy93D1lJuBR2QQMpyin71MI5N8n-rR_illUfUUoriuMfnpAFGQHeRKcwTW_RnJzcw_YgPsiuioRsKPKRlqcuBtY2r8GXWGzFtnblwWQigR7N-cUW6In_xhj4_P4XGD7WjUR/s1600/ANTM8.10+Fridge+Jen+Mail+two+cents.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjisLy93D1lJuBR2QQMpyin71MI5N8n-rR_illUfUUoriuMfnpAFGQHeRKcwTW_RnJzcw_YgPsiuioRsKPKRlqcuBtY2r8GXWGzFtnblwWQigR7N-cUW6In_xhj4_P4XGD7WjUR/s400/ANTM8.10+Fridge+Jen+Mail+two+cents.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mercy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Jen Mail says “Even the most feminine model needs to man
up once in a while. Let’s just hope you can handle what’s thrown your way
today”. So basically, it says this:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBzn1hzpF80WqXBsCWJvIdo6cEMIPN3TpjM2aCqyI7aFpTJg3nvnlftB77FM1OF4t64bdhyphenhyphenX7gA0E316fGMjciOsxkXwskKbHfdPRlz9phu8j0jKJ2g7CepODcpxT-aYdcFshL/s1600/ANTM8.10+Jen+mail+man+up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBzn1hzpF80WqXBsCWJvIdo6cEMIPN3TpjM2aCqyI7aFpTJg3nvnlftB77FM1OF4t64bdhyphenhyphenX7gA0E316fGMjciOsxkXwskKbHfdPRlz9phu8j0jKJ2g7CepODcpxT-aYdcFshL/s400/ANTM8.10+Jen+mail+man+up.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Eight years at art school finally pays off.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The modules have a guess as to what it might mean.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Maybe it’s like boxing or something?” proposes Dajana. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“BASKETBALL!”, says Duckie, because she’s black.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0y-BmPv2KnlGxKJn4LdIA8yIcJTzE-F9ZwTO7xlCCzokVVOvTHUFmDtYG5yrT0R5GSusVeWPXUw-Ijt6nS2cbFh7h9-dsGS_4WeW27QakQrc6Nzp5J-87SBtMLgMb2Tyq745U/s1600/thats-racist3.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0y-BmPv2KnlGxKJn4LdIA8yIcJTzE-F9ZwTO7xlCCzokVVOvTHUFmDtYG5yrT0R5GSusVeWPXUw-Ijt6nS2cbFh7h9-dsGS_4WeW27QakQrc6Nzp5J-87SBtMLgMb2Tyq745U/s400/thats-racist3.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I know it is, Adamant Little Guy. It's week ten. I'm tired. Let's move on.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Glamour Nissans squirt the modules out onto Trumper
Park, where Screamin’ J. Hawkins greets them dressed for being indoors in the dark.
Considering the circumstances I would’ve expected a cheerleader outfit, but oh
well, live and learn. She tells the girls that androgyny is a thing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Really, Jen? <i>Four</i>
syllables? Who the fuck<i> </i>do you think
you’re talking to?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Androgyny is a fashion designer”, proposes Dajana.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Adroj… aggro… I can’t even say the word”, says Duckie, because
no doubt her schooling was sub-par.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt3KfAVPEQ6-mJ8czfko-aKQ8h7qdRyMFPIQ8BgYQ4wssYlx_kYnuy1r-st9Th39zonnarbE9nfRXt5eNMgf_Rb-f2m_1S6q18yCeTiyQZEFIk8mqId0Jev2VYgDPzr5c6JEEH/s1600/ANTM8.10+Thats+Racist+half.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt3KfAVPEQ6-mJ8czfko-aKQ8h7qdRyMFPIQ8BgYQ4wssYlx_kYnuy1r-st9Th39zonnarbE9nfRXt5eNMgf_Rb-f2m_1S6q18yCeTiyQZEFIk8mqId0Jev2VYgDPzr5c6JEEH/s400/ANTM8.10+Thats+Racist+half.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">YES I KNOW, I'M DOING IT IRONICALLY NOW SHUT UP</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali knows exactly what ‘androgyny’ means, because all of
my very best friends are smart, see. All of my very best friends also get this
week’s trophy, see.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs36dDqKA8BkX7D812b4GZyAmlfZeOyxyzvbRpqB_q4SiPjb5Y-oTYyC-mGz3qVQVc0kiR_r5QWzW8vOyvEl1h9Bnw4nLpPf4uqufldPNMMdgMKp_OYSrb3A6zIC4DOX0sMU5y/s1600/ANTM8.10+trophy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs36dDqKA8BkX7D812b4GZyAmlfZeOyxyzvbRpqB_q4SiPjb5Y-oTYyC-mGz3qVQVc0kiR_r5QWzW8vOyvEl1h9Bnw4nLpPf4uqufldPNMMdgMKp_OYSrb3A6zIC4DOX0sMU5y/s400/ANTM8.10+trophy.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She's the prize-weiner. WEINER YOU GUYS</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In order to help the modules mutate into males, Screamin’ J.
Hawkins has enlisted the help of male module, presenter and ex-rugby babe Kris Smith.
As soon as she sees him, Dajana gets an instant lady-boner, thus effectively
completing half of the transmogrification process already. YEAH THAT’S
RIGHT, JEN. TRANSMOGRIFICATION. SIX SYLLABLES RAAAA-IIIIGHT. Might celebrate with a bit of cultural
stereotyping.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgksuzc4eSh3KZTIU8QkDI174u8UbiCRnLrhVM-0fNvTDO9MLC9shWULTcU5949Ob8lFUVc4THtVlcN9joIVMyxbqUgWZ_1_MZn7CrOP242Fi8DL22kEvlir4nruMFtOluDjQdR/s1600/ANTM8.10+Dajana+giggle+spunk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgksuzc4eSh3KZTIU8QkDI174u8UbiCRnLrhVM-0fNvTDO9MLC9shWULTcU5949Ob8lFUVc4THtVlcN9joIVMyxbqUgWZ_1_MZn7CrOP242Fi8DL22kEvlir4nruMFtOluDjQdR/s400/ANTM8.10+Dajana+giggle+spunk.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The scrags get changed into rugby gear, and Kris runs them
through some football training drills in order to show them that…um… to really
bring home the fundamental principles of… er… to teach them how to… nup. Got nothing.
Zip. Dry. Any guesses what they’re doing this for, William?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8MypsWuV-16EvbW4Rwuk_ZOBfxXHSDv4lmw0yU9HkVYAGpjAxKtxeezcZWMJ_PYOn1j4CutrdJV75xe28mHxmsahmwfH0ojE9mfnJ-iJUdFurIFg7maQo6_AQ4IGqJ7r4vSlK/s1600/ANTM8.10+Shakespeare+rugby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8MypsWuV-16EvbW4Rwuk_ZOBfxXHSDv4lmw0yU9HkVYAGpjAxKtxeezcZWMJ_PYOn1j4CutrdJV75xe28mHxmsahmwfH0ojE9mfnJ-iJUdFurIFg7maQo6_AQ4IGqJ7r4vSlK/s400/ANTM8.10+Shakespeare+rugby.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Always with the wordplay.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Abbie warms up with her usual eye exercises…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzeM_Fmwr58Ngr4kUKlqmTZJ10rHVjOglHD8vu8r9phOAsoCy2NRsJfzphn0WC5ifUue011uuiwuD9USU4Ji9H65f0MHzaWcQNsL2rtOKNPYJ5wGdg4K8_Ip1eflCMIXUqw-C2/s1600/ANTM8.10+Abbie+eye+exercises.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzeM_Fmwr58Ngr4kUKlqmTZJ10rHVjOglHD8vu8r9phOAsoCy2NRsJfzphn0WC5ifUue011uuiwuD9USU4Ji9H65f0MHzaWcQNsL2rtOKNPYJ5wGdg4K8_Ip1eflCMIXUqw-C2/s400/ANTM8.10+Abbie+eye+exercises.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">…and Kris tells the girls he expects them to pass a football
backwards, which really sounds like it would hurt.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWcN4-BwNCjnU92X0b-M9gryZ_DfW2YPncsrOYKXNLNhWeQsW6kIIfWLGPH5-PspR9xRqiZOFHAdpR35rZLQMCroZB1xCyk0wk65n6j42h_Lv3xps2UyLMrYUp5sAJ4jDqzLZA/s1600/ANTM8.10+Muddy+girls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWcN4-BwNCjnU92X0b-M9gryZ_DfW2YPncsrOYKXNLNhWeQsW6kIIfWLGPH5-PspR9xRqiZOFHAdpR35rZLQMCroZB1xCyk0wk65n6j42h_Lv3xps2UyLMrYUp5sAJ4jDqzLZA/s400/ANTM8.10+Muddy+girls.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And generate some especially disgusting spray-off.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They tackle. They do burpees. They go left when they’re
supposed to go right. They get spread-eagled under the sprinklers. They ram
each other in the pads. They get down and dirty. They slide through the spray.
Also I am having so much fun making this sound disgusting I may start a
separate blog just for sexy mud euphemisms.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Their final task is to do the most retarded Anchorman jump
they can manage. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFqZ86a0x27X1f2fqa4EXAieClKdwVNcdKddKoR3HKgdwpjN0DkwagOjkwoQFolno09vUv67q3mAxNSy6nXxHKEBU7W4OR2cECVM_D5ZAiDmChYKFpFDGDD81zde4DjxVpYFeE/s1600/ANTM8.10+Anchorman+jump.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFqZ86a0x27X1f2fqa4EXAieClKdwVNcdKddKoR3HKgdwpjN0DkwagOjkwoQFolno09vUv67q3mAxNSy6nXxHKEBU7W4OR2cECVM_D5ZAiDmChYKFpFDGDD81zde4DjxVpYFeE/s400/ANTM8.10+Anchorman+jump.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAy0rf046-uOyXS5ARoDGnioPHROo0sJ3M8NDe3EY6H8G6f0RTWqFgQxlTBCZr4BRG5_4kLqXRLvClAVkMjXMq6ANWGMZh7t0zLL_R6g28zDJbuIJ00l120faUmkxsbs2Wjqqw/s1600/ANTM8.10+Anchorman+jump+scrags.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAy0rf046-uOyXS5ARoDGnioPHROo0sJ3M8NDe3EY6H8G6f0RTWqFgQxlTBCZr4BRG5_4kLqXRLvClAVkMjXMq6ANWGMZh7t0zLL_R6g28zDJbuIJ00l120faUmkxsbs2Wjqqw/s400/ANTM8.10+Anchorman+jump+scrags.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Milk wasn't the only bad choice.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Challenged<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Suddenly and miraculously clean in the Module Mansion, the
scrags find their loungeroom rearranged into some kind of shoe-and-facial-hair
halfway house. They see hair-and-make-up people. They see clothes. They see
Dawso. They see a man standing next to Dawso.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5yFhpiCYGD4KnKWwpzq07a6ji5KzJi-wB7xnOXMmodPiKiU3HOAMxSQzFQn9ZAaCgL-QuJ9emM-ivO84-4xyUnPF-m9LpeQ1GxVggggX1QyaB7spPyGFTbHyQZfmHT4fwjimy/s1600/ANTM8.10+Man+next+to+charlotte.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5yFhpiCYGD4KnKWwpzq07a6ji5KzJi-wB7xnOXMmodPiKiU3HOAMxSQzFQn9ZAaCgL-QuJ9emM-ivO84-4xyUnPF-m9LpeQ1GxVggggX1QyaB7spPyGFTbHyQZfmHT4fwjimy/s400/ANTM8.10+Man+next+to+charlotte.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sort of.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawso says “Today you have an enormous challenge ahead of
you”. And by ‘challenge’, she means ‘penis’. She introduces Rocco D’Amore, a drag king, who
tells the ladies they will be transforming into mans using props, facial hair,
clothes, shoes, and wigs. Charlotte earnestly entreats the girls to be good,
fashionable, and believable. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid23vM4PrL8Zg7de-GTHIbPQqE5feBJtMzQ1pwkUNBUmJgQVj7vg8IenhqsOYmqIwsoy7mx-RNGWSHfny_j2sSclMTAWZjxL3QtaJL2AZ8Kqi7CFkTJX_kBrCgUMdOT1dX7Esq/s1600/ANTM8.10+Dawso+believable+male.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid23vM4PrL8Zg7de-GTHIbPQqE5feBJtMzQ1pwkUNBUmJgQVj7vg8IenhqsOYmqIwsoy7mx-RNGWSHfny_j2sSclMTAWZjxL3QtaJL2AZ8Kqi7CFkTJX_kBrCgUMdOT1dX7Esq/s400/ANTM8.10+Dawso+believable+male.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And by 'believable', she means 'penis'.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Invited to come up with their own characters to consistently
portray, each girl has to walk like men, talk like men, and presumably not be
able to see little dribbles of urine on the toilet seat like men.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of her sunglassed, goateed, beanied character, Jade says “I
kinda ended up as a Parisian artist hipster kind of lost soul, maybe”. Please
note: CANNOT SPEAK FRENCH. She adds, in a terrible, terrible accent “I need a
baguette and a skateboard”. Further, and in the third person (that’s ‘troised
homme’ in French), she says “I think that’s the awkward bit about this
situation. That Jade’s never been to France and she’s impersonating someone
that supposedly came from there". It’s like Georgia O’Keeffe trying to paint
flowers that don’t remind people of vaginas or, for the lowbrow amongst you,
like a Kardashian asking for privacy. Not likely to work. Still, just think
about it really hard and you’ll manage it, Jade.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLCEXxsBhzs5xPHaD4L6-7tSbRsVapWW1PCXrST4ad0kMhMEZKgKaEEVZ622ZOtpSlkCCjM2c9y3kBcLhWYK6GgLY383hyxUIhMRSy3W2UtQcp8Mdj7TCdHKKgDOgLqYrfeObN/s1600/ANTM8.10+Jade+parisian+penis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLCEXxsBhzs5xPHaD4L6-7tSbRsVapWW1PCXrST4ad0kMhMEZKgKaEEVZ622ZOtpSlkCCjM2c9y3kBcLhWYK6GgLY383hyxUIhMRSy3W2UtQcp8Mdj7TCdHKKgDOgLqYrfeObN/s400/ANTM8.10+Jade+parisian+penis.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Eet ees le tower?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">God, all I want to do is jump through the screen and try to
get her to say things in French. BUT THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie’s character
says he works in construction, or more specifically the construction of a
character that looks almost exactly like a homeless wino.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali dresses up as a man who is a girl who unsuccessfully
dresses as a man in a suit.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Abbie is Gussy from Byron, who seems to have a dual focus in
his/her motivation:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5Cq_1Q0UQuKu_4x53gdO3oiMAORgG6iNF1qu-abcpakYToj-pqSRImOC8G0EaNYHAZV9nKGM1ypuu7pcaN1nGOrDDWP_vgma9VeRyoz-MVoV3BdxNmay_udiRjZNfSmpoDVXU/s1600/ANTM8.10+Abbie+penis+marijuana.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5Cq_1Q0UQuKu_4x53gdO3oiMAORgG6iNF1qu-abcpakYToj-pqSRImOC8G0EaNYHAZV9nKGM1ypuu7pcaN1nGOrDDWP_vgma9VeRyoz-MVoV3BdxNmay_udiRjZNfSmpoDVXU/s400/ANTM8.10+Abbie+penis+marijuana.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She's so stoned she's not even looking at her own penis.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Melissa, or ‘Matt’, is the world’s least convincing
drummer. She’s pretty convincing as an
ultra-feminine pixie who’s been dipped in glue, stonewash denim and iron
filings, but that’s about as far as it goes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dajana, dressed and acting like a combination of her woggy
male relatives and Concentrated Essence Of Tony Montana, suddenly becomes my
every reason for breathing and maintaining my faith in the human race. She is
RESPLENDENT. She is MAGNIFICENT. She is WALKING AROUND THE HOUSE TO BALALAIKA
BACKGROUND MUSIC. I may have a boner myself at this point.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawso is impressed with everyone’s efforts, and says “Now
let’s see how the public react”. The girl-boys are terrified to learn that they
have to walk individually into a café, sit down, and order a beverage, because
we all know how terrifying that can be.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I only wish I could be there in that café to help you guys
OH WAIT A FUCKING SECOND.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnklIVhd9okio0_wCjcnm66D8cSA-w_99aj5GJsES1gQ6LZuRurvDD4TvCHYXNZC8-PVjXRUWzy_bEO9HY-3iPmIbX2jYxXfur8PhBb_k760CkQVxO7RKWyKrc3MGcsB2JjgT8/s1600/ANTM8.10+Jo+Blogs+in+the+hooouuuse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnklIVhd9okio0_wCjcnm66D8cSA-w_99aj5GJsES1gQ6LZuRurvDD4TvCHYXNZC8-PVjXRUWzy_bEO9HY-3iPmIbX2jYxXfur8PhBb_k760CkQVxO7RKWyKrc3MGcsB2JjgT8/s400/ANTM8.10+Jo+Blogs+in+the+hooouuuse.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't you hate it when you think you've imagined what I look like and then find out that I'm actually super-hot?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Charlotte and Rocco sit in the window of the café while
Diddles busies himself nonchalantly flapping a paper and checking he’s brought
everything he needs.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMxRJHHsTqsoqPASquIXuVruVr7EXeWxCN8EpZ5Xqjjzs21kYccqSWLGRq76KACtUlwsV0Z72LqAhigCVPdA56aoE59LrdB6_9ugqW8UfV9r44nr-WrCuGrSUNWD6JD8VEV5EY/s1600/ANTM8.10+Diddles+penis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMxRJHHsTqsoqPASquIXuVruVr7EXeWxCN8EpZ5Xqjjzs21kYccqSWLGRq76KACtUlwsV0Z72LqAhigCVPdA56aoE59LrdB6_9ugqW8UfV9r44nr-WrCuGrSUNWD6JD8VEV5EY/s400/ANTM8.10+Diddles+penis.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">As long as you stop counting at one, you're all good.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali is first up, with her ponytail and her cappuccino
order ensuring that everyone in the café suspects she may even be two small
girls standing one on top of the other. She says “I was sitting at the table
and I was flicking through my newspaper thinking it can NOT be this easy,
something has to happen”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">DAMN STRAIGHT IT DOES, GIRLY MAN BOY. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhanbvjFwrjli0Y_azLgMA15zcmAwlTF6k2EWFNDEIN5CX2_p4tH6blRq9mEwy0AKlpibYQEVzqQ5OFxqLWNZUpe6eM5aSgvaggi41THUUqlCNrvOzyiNzj8LogWH7r6tQdRDjn/s1600/ANTM8.10+Shanali+poncho.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhanbvjFwrjli0Y_azLgMA15zcmAwlTF6k2EWFNDEIN5CX2_p4tH6blRq9mEwy0AKlpibYQEVzqQ5OFxqLWNZUpe6eM5aSgvaggi41THUUqlCNrvOzyiNzj8LogWH7r6tQdRDjn/s400/ANTM8.10+Shanali+poncho.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I invite myself to sit down, suggest she tries the fish
sometime (ew, not like <i>that</i>) and tell
her she has a very delicate handshake because BOOM bitch storm sick mad acting
skills.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Next is Dajana, completely absolving me of stereotyping her
heritage every time the breeze lightly picks up some of her chest hair. She
orders “Turkish coffee, four sugar, and if you have it, the baklava”. DUDE,
BAKLAVA WAS LIKE TWO EPISODES AGO, KEEP UP. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I ask Dajana where she got her sunglasses, because NIDA are
totally about to knock down my door. She says “I gotta them from the Europe,
I’m from Europe” and goes on to say she’s in the import/export business, but
REFUSES to go into detail because she’s shifty as fuck which is obviously a
<i>giant </i>turn-on. She asks if I have a husband and then flatly denies that she’s
hitting on me. We shall be married in the Spring.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Next is Jade, who is the Frenchest person ever to both say
‘please’ and order a green tea in Spanish. I ask her if she’s French and invite
myself to sit down, ensuring my appearance at the next Logies in the new
category Best Newcomer In A Poncho. She tells me that ‘Je Suis Avec Stupide’
means ‘I love all French people’, but we fail to actually find any in the café.
To camera, she says “And so I went with it, and I still seemed like an idiot,
but… a committed idiot”. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No, Jade, you were <i>magnifique.
</i>A committed idiot holds on to their idiocy despite science, decency, and
overwhelming public opinion indicating that they’re wrong. THIS is a committed
idiot:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8g_LQaNZcjztzTg11Tg_ou-OP0Tf3cC5hJLGziFLFKvE9uI5w-yojwvL34FlzPp_WBsBDXmYmt6hYy_vp4Krn0YcCyBsyxbY8cLmG5QiAD7AVh8wEg1du1lLo9wmOuywYpz-m/s1600/ANTM8.10+Fred+Nile.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8g_LQaNZcjztzTg11Tg_ou-OP0Tf3cC5hJLGziFLFKvE9uI5w-yojwvL34FlzPp_WBsBDXmYmt6hYy_vp4Krn0YcCyBsyxbY8cLmG5QiAD7AVh8wEg1du1lLo9wmOuywYpz-m/s400/ANTM8.10+Fred+Nile.jpg" width="305" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oooh, political.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Finally, I ask Jade to read a newspaper headline in French,
and I’m preeeetty sure she just says “France france france france france france
france”. I couldn’t understand a word of what she was saying, but I think I
understood her face perfectly. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT14yBWIXr81KBjDiIG_3XAuk6rhxo6OvUCs2Tnns4fT7lgzgSxe3q77Pt5K8EvZlpURqgVEbScLH3OwS-X6PLo9LFgxJi6pUi8d2BIUGoFZNdHQG2Qz6cdp1uRP77uLeteXpy/s1600/ANTM8.10+Jade+enough+shit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT14yBWIXr81KBjDiIG_3XAuk6rhxo6OvUCs2Tnns4fT7lgzgSxe3q77Pt5K8EvZlpURqgVEbScLH3OwS-X6PLo9LFgxJi6pUi8d2BIUGoFZNdHQG2Qz6cdp1uRP77uLeteXpy/s400/ANTM8.10+Jade+enough+shit.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We all have, Pierre</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Next up is Duckie, who completely rejects my obvious
advances, even though I nearly cause the International Awesome Acting Satellite
to fall out of the sky when I ask her if her name is James. I mean this when I
say it, Duckie: if I wanted single word answers, patchy facial hair and
dismissive, soul-crushing rejection, I’d just talk to a real guy. Thanks for nothing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Melissa, who introduces herself as the hybrid MelissaMatt,
doesn’t talk much, although I should thank her for letting me get a lot of
nodding practice in. Thank you, MelissaMatt. You are an inspiration to everyone
except real drummers everywhere.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Abbie, or ‘Gussy’ is next. Guss. Gusso. Gussaaaaaay. Let’s
all count down to probably the best thing that happens in this entire challenge
in three… two… one…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicqIlDXNyeE_7tAZzhfTSSrmTcNy-CkdLESEEbDHKRpoJ8VbD6c01o1QaQiO7HVuOIQ94WkAX1Jc7HTFKUTKSsGALC_ehzYLINIK769NSxLpf9v0xr4BqfPWBjbTPeO6_7K-_e/s1600/ANTM8.10+Abbie+phantom+scrote.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicqIlDXNyeE_7tAZzhfTSSrmTcNy-CkdLESEEbDHKRpoJ8VbD6c01o1QaQiO7HVuOIQ94WkAX1Jc7HTFKUTKSsGALC_ehzYLINIK769NSxLpf9v0xr4BqfPWBjbTPeO6_7K-_e/s400/ANTM8.10+Abbie+phantom+scrote.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She's gonna pull that thing clean orff.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Gussy has bare feet because ‘Feelin’ the nature’. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Gussy orders a green tea because “green tea, y’know like,
green?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Gussy discusses the Waterhouse scandal because “Peace, love,
all about that maaan”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I say “You seem a bit sleepy, maybe you should have a
coffee”, because I can hardly even <i>move</i>
in my house for Hollywood scripts right now. Gussy says ‘Naaah’.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When asked whether he has a girlfriend, Gussy responds with
“Nah, man, y’know, I do have my loves, and I love who I love, and so I just
share that love”. While Gussy goes off to finish his PhD, I’m inspired to
design a best-selling Valentine’s Day card. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaocGzQewV8-UysQhtZfIyim-Rp7EgDPQxDaRcJUGeEyEqewLO1t89V-Sj-vPrnWwnLbFs11zAQMsPdJNr0e_RxU7LXDSbK309xGk873kskyUmwk-DzF6DAeyqD40WFstEBMD8/s1600/ANTM8.10+Abbie+valentine+card.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="335" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaocGzQewV8-UysQhtZfIyim-Rp7EgDPQxDaRcJUGeEyEqewLO1t89V-Sj-vPrnWwnLbFs11zAQMsPdJNr0e_RxU7LXDSbK309xGk873kskyUmwk-DzF6DAeyqD40WFstEBMD8/s400/ANTM8.10+Abbie+valentine+card.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie wins the challenge but who cares right, because my
bit’s over.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Phoy-Toys.</b> <b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Back from the ad break, we’re swamped with relentless
reminders of the competition prizes, which I think this year include four
packets of medium silky-cover tampons and a slingshot.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We’re down at the beach for a photoshoot, where Shiny Alex
Perry is waiting for the scrags dressed in an uncharacteristically understated
tablecloth, so it’s probably from a French restaurant or something, although
don’t ask Jade because she wouldn’t know.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioQDyIetSSY19OhYVOCYgqYn0F_YonMi0qrwzR_h2tZ7SdHCaPoynTxnhKMCXT0bDZldZuMXf4BqHOpPUWSYTc0mR-mUdJjG_xet33d6HwHYqR2UU6furRnZccm6nJFg3Hemwf/s1600/ANTM8.10+SAP+french+tablecloth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioQDyIetSSY19OhYVOCYgqYn0F_YonMi0qrwzR_h2tZ7SdHCaPoynTxnhKMCXT0bDZldZuMXf4BqHOpPUWSYTc0mR-mUdJjG_xet33d6HwHYqR2UU6furRnZccm6nJFg3Hemwf/s400/ANTM8.10+SAP+french+tablecloth.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Make no mistake: bonjour.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shiny Alex talks about committing to a character (like he
has to his Mr Sheen character) and says they’ll need that commitment to “bust out an
amazing photograph”, albeit without their bust out. He introduces photographer
Georges Antoni, a man small enough to keep in my pocket, but hot enough that I
would insist it was the front pocket with a hole in it. Georges reveals that
they’ll be shooting in black and white, channelling 90s cool, and that they’ll
be dressed masculinely, which is a massive surprise in this masculine-themed episode, man. He also says “It’s not about posing, it’s about being
centred, cool, and making the photo interesting”. I tell you what, if that
meant a goddamn thing, it would be poignant as all get-out.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The girls get to hair, make-up, and styling, and are basically
given heavy twill large-shouldered suits and bowl-cut wigs. Make no mistake: it
is <i>tres vilain.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hey, wait – I know somewhere else you can find outdated
suits and terrible hair in extended mix, Jan Hammer form! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/GQDU-2qMre0?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dance the male pattern
baldness away, Jan.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of her get-up, Jade says “I probably wouldn’t wear this
outfit on the street, but that’s the good thing about modelling. You get to
become a different person”. Unfortunately for Jade, that different person in this instance is
Dwayne Dibbley from Red Dwarf.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDBIrcMS3aOmmSe2lYJGHstLUzTL5qpSFq1XxTTrm227H_zNGbqxEkqIRswhjb2nGgNu6GT9baRnTBDvkPnHYn4fY8of8DrCZIclrsmRObUGjSqEycTYDb-Ge1Jn1DNx028lsi/s1600/ANTM8.10+Dwayne+Dibbley+Jade.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="355" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDBIrcMS3aOmmSe2lYJGHstLUzTL5qpSFq1XxTTrm227H_zNGbqxEkqIRswhjb2nGgNu6GT9baRnTBDvkPnHYn4fY8of8DrCZIclrsmRObUGjSqEycTYDb-Ge1Jn1DNx028lsi/s400/ANTM8.10+Dwayne+Dibbley+Jade.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIjkW5KCHw5wFk2dcOeYUS6nd0tfHod_DScJwZcKnrVVb6dhCgO47enRnHgOxdZsAKPnA999xz3zPr1ZbSVDVaIP67sLfZKXc2GyfFU7NUsapNY21kTVH5DV_aWZYqX-Fp0fcL/s1600/ANTM8.10+Dwayne+Dibbley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="346" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIjkW5KCHw5wFk2dcOeYUS6nd0tfHod_DScJwZcKnrVVb6dhCgO47enRnHgOxdZsAKPnA999xz3zPr1ZbSVDVaIP67sLfZKXc2GyfFU7NUsapNY21kTVH5DV_aWZYqX-Fp0fcL/s400/ANTM8.10+Dwayne+Dibbley.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tell me I'm wrong. Or that I'm eight times geekier than you ever imagined for using this as an example.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jade does well but thinks too much, which is generally
quite rare in modelling. She’s better when she’s listening to Shiny Alex Perry
than when she’s actually posing, so as long as she just thinks “shut up,
squinting tablecloth” for the rest of her career she’ll be set.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali is extremely determined after being in the bottom
two last week, so she gets on set, runs her hand through her bowl cut, and is
finished. Shiny Alex is impressed, saying “If you can get your shot in three
minutes, that’s kinda like in the modelling hall of fame”. Special note: there
is no snack bar in the modelling hall of fame. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s Dajana’s turn. Dajana does not look good. She should’ve
just kept her confidence-inducing Tony Montana rig on, instead of fidgeting
like a grumpy mushroom.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiROvgor-nQZI1Z-wQeHfpun-ncr8YPEXIHe595grOVVm7qX7lw_mxBiu_LMf2EGGijKQ0n_KzR5NW4E_yaUEbyKdpRasNiZ45z_SKbVGjzXeiPYh6T7Z9q5I9_kvJpzQZUnb97/s1600/ANTM8.10+Dajana+Hot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiROvgor-nQZI1Z-wQeHfpun-ncr8YPEXIHe595grOVVm7qX7lw_mxBiu_LMf2EGGijKQ0n_KzR5NW4E_yaUEbyKdpRasNiZ45z_SKbVGjzXeiPYh6T7Z9q5I9_kvJpzQZUnb97/s400/ANTM8.10+Dajana+Hot.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hot.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKwwRFZQeznYBWKrL2CdsT_lAMou0LphBSBuHvD45cqVrY5tj6vE3wxxoR9DY0vBlClCIw_RHFjwrNQFHyPuqP5ALEZc565DO33qeN9L-hdXHi5E5kvXigRyupmkgu1d9-CSXz/s1600/ANTM8.10+Dajana+Not.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKwwRFZQeznYBWKrL2CdsT_lAMou0LphBSBuHvD45cqVrY5tj6vE3wxxoR9DY0vBlClCIw_RHFjwrNQFHyPuqP5ALEZc565DO33qeN9L-hdXHi5E5kvXigRyupmkgu1d9-CSXz/s400/ANTM8.10+Dajana+Not.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Really, really not.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She says “I was trying to move, but not move, because the
brief was to be really really subtle”. Darling Dajana, you are many, many
things, but subtle is fully not one of them oh my god.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Georges LOVES Abbie, which I gathered from his body
language, his facial expressions, and when he says “Oh my god I love this girl”.
We all do, Georges, but we can’t figure out why (thinks about why, rolls eyes diagonally upwards). </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shiny Alex Perry tells Melissa that she’s ‘The prettiest boy
that I’ve ever seen”, and it’s hard to tell if that’s a good thing or not.
Georges comments that “immediately she’s model-worthy because of how
interesting she is”, and it’s hard to tell if that’s a good thing or not. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie steps on set and she’s totally still bringing an
intensely masculine vibe, and it’s hard to tell if that’s a good thing or not.
She does do a weird thing with her shoulders, although considering the
shoulder-pads in these suits are like two badly-parked giant cuttlefish, everything
looks weird.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am not happy with this shoot. It probably needs more
ponchos.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eliminationosity<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Quick as a flash, we’re in the Eliminatorium and Screamin’
J. Hawkins is all dressed in white, presumably because she's ready to marry
peplums. She says “Hello girls, I mean boys” because her comedy act is really
coming along. Sure, it’s no “You’ve got a really delicate handshake”, but she’s
in on the first floor.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jen introduces Dawso as “all woman”, although part of her is
admittedly bontoxilysin. Diddles is “the boy next door”, as long as next door
is a shop that sells waistcoats and industrial-strength side parts. Shiny Alex
Perry, the “main man” is wearing a shirt that doesn’t look anything like a
tablecloth, so there goes that joke. Let’s start a new one, then, and show him
as we really see him. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNIh51aHKXeMH9tCnjdA3g9_ux-R53-wAFYYTR-dJiQMvH8HLET9LyCXDSmBIh0Wo7jef3ddfSo6t4F3bKFp7j0C1oYEf4gcDFqS1yQnzWwhOmCjjPcFi8JVhdLH_5ND4l-K2E/s1600/ANTM8.10+SAP+glasses.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNIh51aHKXeMH9tCnjdA3g9_ux-R53-wAFYYTR-dJiQMvH8HLET9LyCXDSmBIh0Wo7jef3ddfSo6t4F3bKFp7j0C1oYEf4gcDFqS1yQnzWwhOmCjjPcFi8JVhdLH_5ND4l-K2E/s400/ANTM8.10+SAP+glasses.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Le Specs, Jade.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So! Let’s look through some pictures and say ‘swagger’ nine
or ten times. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawso says that Melissa’s photo is “like Linda Evangelista’s
had a little cute offspring”, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or
not. Diddles tells her “You actually look like just a young boy here”, and I don’t
know if that’s a good thing or not. He goes on to say “Take that as a good
thing”, and I still don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What do you think, Amazing Psychic Desk? Is it a good thing
or a bad thing?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaY223FczEYE98MvyAH4WHZT9QWXOsBY8i3DffOY9ZJdKtfFde4NWVQjdc2OKnmgTisJWnWIy4WKvzMy6LpRHAzu8ZN69POcc6SD9BG1Be_lZ1ZHweBA2Excfr9C_DqUh91BfU/s1600/ANTM8.10+Amazing+Psychic+Desk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaY223FczEYE98MvyAH4WHZT9QWXOsBY8i3DffOY9ZJdKtfFde4NWVQjdc2OKnmgTisJWnWIy4WKvzMy6LpRHAzu8ZN69POcc6SD9BG1Be_lZ1ZHweBA2Excfr9C_DqUh91BfU/s400/ANTM8.10+Amazing+Psychic+Desk.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah, that's what I thought.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Abbie’s photo causes unprecedented gushing. That's a good thing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie’s shot is highly appreciated, albeit with mutterings
that it took a bit of effort to get there. That's a bad thing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of Dajana’s picture, Diddles says “I think the suit looks
great”, and I DON’T KNOW IF THAT’S A GOOD THING OR NOT, <i>GOD</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali is commended on the effortlessness of her speedy
shoot, and Diddles tells her that she looks masculine, adding “Don’t take that
as a bad thing” and I give up.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Scrags depart, judges deliberate, Shiny Alex Perry tells
Dawso that if she doesn’t have any good angles on her face she just gets them
put in, Screamin’ J. Hawkins moves the photos around on the communal tablet
until she’s absolutely certain we’ve seen and admired her rings, and the
scrags re-enter, as nervous as a French goose in a French place where they
serve things made out of geese. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Abbie gets photo of the week, followed by Shanali and
Melissa, and suddenly we’re all aware that there’s TOO MANY GIRLS AND NOT
ENOUGH TIME AND MATHS AND DOUBLE ELIMINATION!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie is safe.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dajana and Jade get the laser-eyes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicGztIDk8iEqAuleNkic9Z4PYgL-sB1aVQTF8a6X5NRHxaWB_gxhP5J7nYdveHOwf81jCcCO5cHStit_7Uu6O32Odw5X01yUZl5fhKA6HpHr7Wpo8RVGHZiWt4psQp_lCbUes-/s1600/ANTM8.10+SAP+glasses+laser+eyes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicGztIDk8iEqAuleNkic9Z4PYgL-sB1aVQTF8a6X5NRHxaWB_gxhP5J7nYdveHOwf81jCcCO5cHStit_7Uu6O32Odw5X01yUZl5fhKA6HpHr7Wpo8RVGHZiWt4psQp_lCbUes-/s400/ANTM8.10+SAP+glasses+laser+eyes.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pew pew</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd1_y4XizEgmb3bydd1Z_BVUTTOvegP7qSHlJv7B9m1mVe6SPgwHaqpz8-L6D4t3Z8dYLwvLPJC_fRDotqCNymJshJeS4GOI38uKcBenmxsZY9prQwPdQKQr3k-njEgONUaXNI/s1600/ANTM8.10+Laser+eyes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd1_y4XizEgmb3bydd1Z_BVUTTOvegP7qSHlJv7B9m1mVe6SPgwHaqpz8-L6D4t3Z8dYLwvLPJC_fRDotqCNymJshJeS4GOI38uKcBenmxsZY9prQwPdQKQr3k-njEgONUaXNI/s400/ANTM8.10+Laser+eyes.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Double-gafloomsh.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bye, Dajana and Jade. You were both outrageously awesome,
particularly when you were pretending to be European. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Any last words, Dajana?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHGt_emQW7naK-NHS3ejiYb-bpiP5meHv95BGEdXb4Kmyv6zQOHmbKUATsPZHrBnBFPGJEhPZpF1tIYjlAEMj7Fb6ePGp6KgzKzFFvBmf9sP2dXxBIFC1pvIcVta0jTkK6XkzS/s1600/ANTM8.10+Dajana+Last+words.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHGt_emQW7naK-NHS3ejiYb-bpiP5meHv95BGEdXb4Kmyv6zQOHmbKUATsPZHrBnBFPGJEhPZpF1tIYjlAEMj7Fb6ePGp6KgzKzFFvBmf9sP2dXxBIFC1pvIcVta0jTkK6XkzS/s400/ANTM8.10+Dajana+Last+words.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Exactly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Any last words, Jade?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDJuZ1NZ1OwtttcxVOJYuadiQVyjtEmqcrIN7vz26E9ZR32Qs669JO6vrgsMBME59xG7H38XvKLOuocbS6SE98FBC2i9Zvrxq0sg7WYWjj5ZHX_FSGr-iOfgyGgL2NYt52dytR/s1600/ANTM8.10+Jade+last+words.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDJuZ1NZ1OwtttcxVOJYuadiQVyjtEmqcrIN7vz26E9ZR32Qs669JO6vrgsMBME59xG7H38XvKLOuocbS6SE98FBC2i9Zvrxq0sg7WYWjj5ZHX_FSGr-iOfgyGgL2NYt52dytR/s400/ANTM8.10+Jade+last+words.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oui, mate. Oui.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">.</span></div>
Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-10763468423998296302013-09-03T21:31:00.000+10:002013-09-03T21:45:20.306+10:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Eight #9<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’m so glad that this week’s episode addressed the issue of
shapes, especially in an election year. I mean, now that we’ve addressed
smiling, walking, painting and strangling, it was only a matter of time before
making shapes came to the forefront of the nation’s consciousness.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’m especially passionate about hexagons, but that’s
probably a deep-seated offshoot directly related to how I feel about bees.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">God, I crap on in this beginning bit, don’t I?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Find your angles and calculate your area (it's okay to round down) for
the ‘It’s Hip To Be Scrag’ episode of <i>Australia’s
Next Top Model.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Triangles. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">***</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Housekeeping</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’m pretty sure the only reason I’m doing the catchphrase
log to discover What Will Be Reality Television’s Most Over-Used Catchphrase is
so that I can be one day known as That Girl Who Kept A Tally Of All Those Catchphrases
That Time. If someone could alert the Vice Chancellor of my old university that
this is what my life has become, that’d be great.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Also ‘Oh my god’ is winning. Alert the media.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3mZaij00Ad0SgItXSXOfq9MoomKOVCbpliz193XytC_9EtSQl-lLzKaJvhxFqq59ZBkoRgb1YAUaxRk86OC980Pg6WrW4148cb4fwwILEIjIxpWqCLW0eZ4ki0kScySVlUDdYvw/s1600/ANTM8.9+Catchphrase+log.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="261" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3mZaij00Ad0SgItXSXOfq9MoomKOVCbpliz193XytC_9EtSQl-lLzKaJvhxFqq59ZBkoRgb1YAUaxRk86OC980Pg6WrW4148cb4fwwILEIjIxpWqCLW0eZ4ki0kScySVlUDdYvw/s400/ANTM8.9+Catchphrase+log.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Learnment</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s early in the morning at the Module Mansion, and four
things are happening. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1. Dajana is cooking eggs.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2. The girls are trying to guess what their lesson and
challenge will be this week, guessing either sailing or martial arts classes.
To their credit, sailing and martial arts classes are as much to do with
modelling as fishing coins out of a jar full of maggots or lime-dancing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3. Jade has terrible hair. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9kyI9DUXqioQbdgHIySqHAstFY3mMwIP4gJHhuU04ZprtcmCWNGusBHrWEp5zN3CGPVX7vFfq6_Gi5I6oDvChlc3lnYke54A3Pe1u2joaKSPb9SrgxGgmfOwjgrz-iqKUEHT5Vw/s1600/ANTM8.9+Jade+bad+hair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9kyI9DUXqioQbdgHIySqHAstFY3mMwIP4gJHhuU04ZprtcmCWNGusBHrWEp5zN3CGPVX7vFfq6_Gi5I6oDvChlc3lnYke54A3Pe1u2joaKSPb9SrgxGgmfOwjgrz-iqKUEHT5Vw/s400/ANTM8.9+Jade+bad+hair.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Like, <i>terrible </i>hair.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA11HBQmaZu9XA595Iojh-9ykIIznUrITjesgUWWI8ykre8sIKEljoaGJ30BamUySGmyqU4vWLxAwEwMegYya7x-Ky_TW6-YP-Em1_wDFk00RiU5M3p-VZeChzzhzF4k6c6E3U5Q/s1600/ANTM8.9+Jade+bad+hair2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA11HBQmaZu9XA595Iojh-9ykIIznUrITjesgUWWI8ykre8sIKEljoaGJ30BamUySGmyqU4vWLxAwEwMegYya7x-Ky_TW6-YP-Em1_wDFk00RiU5M3p-VZeChzzhzF4k6c6E3U5Q/s400/ANTM8.9+Jade+bad+hair2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4. A golden dinosaur has laid a giant egg in the corner of
the living room and nobody has noticed. Maybe Jade is an alien? I forget how
far away Blacktown is.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh577m6JgQCkC_YPxattM19F7PhN3NibW94VXdhODgxUp1zYFT9RyDjY8xQLSGIfGkfORKYRLSY2oernZLIuzKRjTK5l0zMHy40mZP-YQnNUsDCMKJnaiU1BVCeT04i-fjeX1brLg/s1600/ANTM8.9+Giant+alien+egg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh577m6JgQCkC_YPxattM19F7PhN3NibW94VXdhODgxUp1zYFT9RyDjY8xQLSGIfGkfORKYRLSY2oernZLIuzKRjTK5l0zMHy40mZP-YQnNUsDCMKJnaiU1BVCeT04i-fjeX1brLg/s400/ANTM8.9+Giant+alien+egg.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The phone squawks a Jen Mail, and the Logies board add a new
award category for Best Pretending To Be
Surprised. Nobody wins.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Screamin’ J. Hawkins, through her weird perma-smile,
mysteries “It’s time to shape up, because your world is about to be turned
upside-down”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcXruRJVP-sWqTho_MpXfrr-FT34XJ0Om4EaoVwPrsafi3a-bnG6T6Uwl_eLSvwRMTrQSIWMs3otQm2h3MWIKs-ytczuLWfsbXr9cARwyol6VeU52DLPsELSeoNyQ2BIdXoA4vuw/s1600/ANTM8.9+upside+down.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcXruRJVP-sWqTho_MpXfrr-FT34XJ0Om4EaoVwPrsafi3a-bnG6T6Uwl_eLSvwRMTrQSIWMs3otQm2h3MWIKs-ytczuLWfsbXr9cARwyol6VeU52DLPsELSeoNyQ2BIdXoA4vuw/s400/ANTM8.9+upside+down.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Because, no remember, we mentioned Lionel Richie a few weeks ago when things were upside-down. Continuity, people.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jen continues “Be prepared for your next challenge to come
at you from all angles”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dajana shouts “Skydiving!”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shannon exclaims “Rock climbing!”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jade squeals “Trapezium!”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Melissa, to camera, says “Dude, trapezium’s a shape”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMPaj-0NBbrtLsOmt1UW_xkSAs-y0C3zVTeXFRjT-mdLpfuyYLwwekBDMxyFGyXy9eCzfPN-ruuMt4ZVo62wWY1cnS-JOH-TxibvgJbqjSYHpJKBkJ9AlzNvulMkQEJyODwajd2A/s1600/ANTM8.9+Jade+trapezium.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMPaj-0NBbrtLsOmt1UW_xkSAs-y0C3zVTeXFRjT-mdLpfuyYLwwekBDMxyFGyXy9eCzfPN-ruuMt4ZVo62wWY1cnS-JOH-TxibvgJbqjSYHpJKBkJ9AlzNvulMkQEJyODwajd2A/s400/ANTM8.9+Jade+trapezium.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If I ever get good at Photoshop, you guys will be the first to know.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Finally the scrags all agree that it’s likely they’re going
to be suspended from something. PROBABLY FROM SCHOOL, SINCE YOU HAVEN’T BEEN IN
LIKE, TWO MONTHS.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They walk away from both Dajana’s and the dinosaur’s eggs to
get in the Glamour Nissans to be whisked off to House Of Yoga in Redfern, where
they find this:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1JyTjyjqHtju5AQZaFx1pspeHaguoEDCUz4wwN4rr5uXL8Y2E7GIbBZmka1E3QKvgUxeLgB2wgCSz_IEzb4Dbcnzfw_I1PbldqJfm2JyKVWnvPTarfTKIXrV8r5-9Tc5tMgwzkg/s1600/ANTM8.9+Suspend+without+sumo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1JyTjyjqHtju5AQZaFx1pspeHaguoEDCUz4wwN4rr5uXL8Y2E7GIbBZmka1E3QKvgUxeLgB2wgCSz_IEzb4Dbcnzfw_I1PbldqJfm2JyKVWnvPTarfTKIXrV8r5-9Tc5tMgwzkg/s400/ANTM8.9+Suspend+without+sumo.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And suddenly all I can think about is Christopher Atkins’
junk sling in <i>The Blue Lagoon</i>.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjESomXDPVWscoiK4MT0l7nNW-x7dXzRJ3-ll4nUubKqyq8Axu5Qayo5G9cL7FkmA6K0ezi14WV7WHsqVIf_ie3IQqt_VhYW2Jc_fyDrHVcNDIst1tT4yRX5fbic0tq1hwr2UPvQQ/s1600/ANTM8.9+Suspend+with+atkins.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjESomXDPVWscoiK4MT0l7nNW-x7dXzRJ3-ll4nUubKqyq8Axu5Qayo5G9cL7FkmA6K0ezi14WV7WHsqVIf_ie3IQqt_VhYW2Jc_fyDrHVcNDIst1tT4yRX5fbic0tq1hwr2UPvQQ/s400/ANTM8.9+Suspend+with+atkins.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The lagoon wasn't the only thing that was blue, geddit.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yep. That’s Dawso sitting in Christopher Atkins’ junk sling.
She says to the modules “I bet you’re <i>hanging</i>
to get into the <i>swing</i> of things today”,
which obviously earns her this week’s trophy.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUyXlkEHJjsmKG5ael496wJp1SwsBWwOsvidg0kTtF3htya1rpnjRb-UYzYEBoF4kUbgzA_XbcG1uFkrByIIiki8WmC0D45zVvLQfTrUBPYKLbLZEOlIA9O_JBQM3-FKF-sV9dCQ/s1600/ANTM8.9+TROPHY.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUyXlkEHJjsmKG5ael496wJp1SwsBWwOsvidg0kTtF3htya1rpnjRb-UYzYEBoF4kUbgzA_XbcG1uFkrByIIiki8WmC0D45zVvLQfTrUBPYKLbLZEOlIA9O_JBQM3-FKF-sV9dCQ/s400/ANTM8.9+TROPHY.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawso tells the girls that they’re about to do anti-gravity
yoga (probably not a thing) with instructor Evangeline (probably not a name),
and the bendy American-accented perkiness begins, with a brief nod towards the
week’s ‘shapes’ theme.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Evangeline tells the modules that anti-gravity yoga is a
combination of dance, yoga, pilates, and gymnastics, all things that Duckie has
spent nine weeks telling us she’s bad at. “Co-ordination and Duckie don’t
really mix that well”, she says, which is confusing because if she’s not
co-ordinated, how would she be good at basketball? You see, I’m making an
assumption about Duckie’s ability based purely on a stereotype which in turn is
based solely on her skin colour.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnKsY1NBSOO_6mlNR1ipdBXfJeMI0iYdrSwD_f89ZSWr3bf0oJMGOZ_k6wW_9QkbgOl1b2TKAx52o3IeTUD4IBl2iwZT_2LPKxD6HzLW4rOtXX-eKiRrcPYbywfSPIiYzm5UwnDQ/s1600/thats-racist3.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnKsY1NBSOO_6mlNR1ipdBXfJeMI0iYdrSwD_f89ZSWr3bf0oJMGOZ_k6wW_9QkbgOl1b2TKAx52o3IeTUD4IBl2iwZT_2LPKxD6HzLW4rOtXX-eKiRrcPYbywfSPIiYzm5UwnDQ/s400/thats-racist3.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes, Adamant Little Guy. It is.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The lesson begins, and Evangeline tells the girls to “say
hello to your hamstring”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Um… h… hello, hamstring?</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3lmo2dZJNe2iTquLTYTNCKtdo9qoiJa_qF_YCclN2xXSFuqI2vZwRO8c2DADhARdxPbxPNfXldnu0VBTT4EekootmHX-QqQTeFNano1c1ZK0hZoq648y3zGgu4UJTGAEo1nXN7A/s1600/ANTM8.9+HAMSTRING.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3lmo2dZJNe2iTquLTYTNCKtdo9qoiJa_qF_YCclN2xXSFuqI2vZwRO8c2DADhARdxPbxPNfXldnu0VBTT4EekootmHX-QqQTeFNano1c1ZK0hZoq648y3zGgu4UJTGAEo1nXN7A/s400/ANTM8.9+HAMSTRING.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sorry. I do that.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They all do some sick mad suspended yoga moves, and all I
can do is imagine that they’re farting because I am exactly twelve years old. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Si9bUAAJoOKOW9HE6g8fkT-4t2Kb6Da83CTVmhzREYtgMbyvu6IXJWpyresRJmca4YcesMEG2C0AgQqpMllPWR7bjh-C3xYYpYZ5uYmA3xqF1CCOrN2b6SeH7Xu8S_Zho4xWyQ/s1600/ANTM8.9+Yoga+fart1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Si9bUAAJoOKOW9HE6g8fkT-4t2Kb6Da83CTVmhzREYtgMbyvu6IXJWpyresRJmca4YcesMEG2C0AgQqpMllPWR7bjh-C3xYYpYZ5uYmA3xqF1CCOrN2b6SeH7Xu8S_Zho4xWyQ/s400/ANTM8.9+Yoga+fart1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8k7TBHULp7Ki-mywcLSCPMm2juvTl90B5dOfHFWMa8dTEwGAZtolwJ2gKrG49_F2E_eMIXKmNhuuQ14sUHkAqdQMUCSJ18g5dgIKbmFb8ZMjgb1WDbo-HBC5vSCnVzbxwqKs1Iw/s1600/ANTM8.9+Yoga+fart2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8k7TBHULp7Ki-mywcLSCPMm2juvTl90B5dOfHFWMa8dTEwGAZtolwJ2gKrG49_F2E_eMIXKmNhuuQ14sUHkAqdQMUCSJ18g5dgIKbmFb8ZMjgb1WDbo-HBC5vSCnVzbxwqKs1Iw/s400/ANTM8.9+Yoga+fart2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXZUbbMQSDpdpLEUn8uT1-Kt2-shEccNTHPTmb-n0EqbF9ClLx5gN1emsoK2r6n4lxDRvHZJfNGCtWpJKTpePDGpsRuiHhQ7x-3LDKW54qLsgOzju4FwyM6hAlxEFclXR8Oc8m6g/s1600/ANTM8.9+Yoga+fart3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXZUbbMQSDpdpLEUn8uT1-Kt2-shEccNTHPTmb-n0EqbF9ClLx5gN1emsoK2r6n4lxDRvHZJfNGCtWpJKTpePDGpsRuiHhQ7x-3LDKW54qLsgOzju4FwyM6hAlxEFclXR8Oc8m6g/s400/ANTM8.9+Yoga+fart3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikZuAyGO_8IS4rysgwLLfoo_GY-g0GhK7PSGapJBsyxy-Hdp4U1pemRtabp-unFmUDmOwMz_n0stJJUuseuLR4fWpOVN2yn-xXTze1z1lq8kqNy5QvgcmpDAV7FM9FXlwO8vRb5A/s1600/ANTM8.9+Shakespeare+FARTETH.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="325" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikZuAyGO_8IS4rysgwLLfoo_GY-g0GhK7PSGapJBsyxy-Hdp4U1pemRtabp-unFmUDmOwMz_n0stJJUuseuLR4fWpOVN2yn-xXTze1z1lq8kqNy5QvgcmpDAV7FM9FXlwO8vRb5A/s400/ANTM8.9+Shakespeare+FARTETH.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Feel the burn.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jade feels like it’s an out-of-body experience, which
coincidentally is exactly how I like my farts. Abbie is an anti-gravity yoga
prodigy or ‘little monkey’ in Evangeline’s words. Duckie’s knee pops. Dajana’s
medical opinion is that “Your eyes are literally coming out of your eye socket ‘cause
all the blood is like rushing to your face”. This a) makes me angry, because:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0FOVVAP6VseO8sSG-pTtuhHMWcsSdvhshc-b0BolYQWU2oXCgSAXSstS_gJVdCF7SwhfG3ckwGw93svMrCLoSUVrjRKUynbua7jOlvW1Yi_oJodWUg4JpQ7MkSbVld0D7NU5hyphenhyphenA/s1600/ANTM8.9+Hulk+WORD+misuse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0FOVVAP6VseO8sSG-pTtuhHMWcsSdvhshc-b0BolYQWU2oXCgSAXSstS_gJVdCF7SwhfG3ckwGw93svMrCLoSUVrjRKUynbua7jOlvW1Yi_oJodWUg4JpQ7MkSbVld0D7NU5hyphenhyphenA/s400/ANTM8.9+Hulk+WORD+misuse.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And b) makes me happy, because I turned the screenshot of
Dajana being upside-down upside-down, and it looks like she’s really, really
surprised to see Lionel Richie.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOtovUqgxLX0YV5VxIiMHSDy1NCPaETT4EHmjVmJd9cFRuISZ_uyx7iurV60Do6Sa_8uMBKfebDwVSDBPxP7NgakDkIXMiPfUm_q2V_dTy_wOMpH__2SZ-jD_l5D3fWvlHmxwfJg/s1600/ANTM8.9+Dajana+right+way+up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOtovUqgxLX0YV5VxIiMHSDy1NCPaETT4EHmjVmJd9cFRuISZ_uyx7iurV60Do6Sa_8uMBKfebDwVSDBPxP7NgakDkIXMiPfUm_q2V_dTy_wOMpH__2SZ-jD_l5D3fWvlHmxwfJg/s400/ANTM8.9+Dajana+right+way+up.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fullee dancing on the ceiling. Sick.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At the end of the class the hammocks are turned into little
relaxation cocoons, reminding me instantly of the people farm in The Matrix
where they grow babies.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7K79qdHyI7-bU6muTfsE9YRMhiok3GAClyU5Jhr-npn9JXA0rc_M1CTASC1EsaoO8rlsDWIOsiRu9kGgFkTttsG7nmxiUkE3EqwzdmhIphUIobPJJiAXh6o-8P4_iTyZd0JSzug/s1600/ANTM8.9+matrix+human+farm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="172" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7K79qdHyI7-bU6muTfsE9YRMhiok3GAClyU5Jhr-npn9JXA0rc_M1CTASC1EsaoO8rlsDWIOsiRu9kGgFkTttsG7nmxiUkE3EqwzdmhIphUIobPJJiAXh6o-8P4_iTyZd0JSzug/s400/ANTM8.9+matrix+human+farm.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Either way, everybody emerges from their cocoons looking
relaxed, refreshed, and a little bit like Keanu Reeves.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGjtZmWNDe7rfAm0IsfkmP_aiml6nRN9PXxqawCntZuo2LreruHQGUNTVF2XJg6sMsEzSrtrlNI_IuzXUvBK61up2ltOGPduk604GjfCkk63uFC8oYJHjDiSlWFeMEXTWCmY7QgA/s1600/ANTM8.9+matrix+pod+emerge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGjtZmWNDe7rfAm0IsfkmP_aiml6nRN9PXxqawCntZuo2LreruHQGUNTVF2XJg6sMsEzSrtrlNI_IuzXUvBK61up2ltOGPduk604GjfCkk63uFC8oYJHjDiSlWFeMEXTWCmY7QgA/s400/ANTM8.9+matrix+pod+emerge.jpg" width="263" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hot.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Challenged</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The relaxation doesn’t last long, and soon the scrags are
back in the Glamour Nissans and whisked off to meet Shiny Alex Perry at the Cellblock
Theatre in the old Darlinghurst gaol, wearing what I’m reasonably certain is a
tablecloth from an Italian restaurant.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0EHhjxZu51yYRC0DNTaEeu207dN-4vSqGrEGP2GVVzVpasmoSmLQdjZqHl5KNiT24w0FKoAUm16FgKObVfjBE7gP32wnuU982qnwfDjquu29h7F-uyczpDEN7VFB5PYu20pvUQQ/s1600/ANTM8.9+SAP+tablecloth+Italian.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0EHhjxZu51yYRC0DNTaEeu207dN-4vSqGrEGP2GVVzVpasmoSmLQdjZqHl5KNiT24w0FKoAUm16FgKObVfjBE7gP32wnuU982qnwfDjquu29h7F-uyczpDEN7VFB5PYu20pvUQQ/s400/ANTM8.9+SAP+tablecloth+Italian.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bongiorno, honey.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He tells the girls “I’m not going to lock you up, but I am
going to put you in a confined space”. Is… is it your shirt, Shiny Alex Perry?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">NO! It’s two telephone booths, where the cramped scrags must
compete in a quick-change race, two at a time, including hair, make-up, Alex
Perry frocks and incredible but where-the-fuck-would-you-wear-them thigh-high
cross-laced boots. This is to mimic the tiny changing areas at some photo
shoots and fashion shows and oh, I don’t know why we’re even relating it back
to the fashion industry any more, this is AMAZING.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Because Abbie was the best at sky-yoga, she gets an
advantage in that she’s allowed to compete twice. This is like telling Stelarc that he
gets to be lowered down an elevator shaft on skin-hooks twice or, for the
lowbrow amongst you, like telling Thicke to dry-clean his stripy suit because
Miley’s coming back for an encore. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shiny Alex Perry has one final warning for the girls: “Ruin
my clothes, and jail’s gonna seem like a party”.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifMKiXsXDEfnSGkMTHUP0zbFECNiEoA4DjHvw6Pvq8RNxn8cc-qV5XFPxOJZ_DHbePQXxsEQGeb3oYkEG5CfUID4bpy5hYrvipFuKy5NT3ypTLl_yVd-QHb8TPGn8XK3dZ9mT4Ow/s1600/orange-is-the-new-black-dance-1024x682.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifMKiXsXDEfnSGkMTHUP0zbFECNiEoA4DjHvw6Pvq8RNxn8cc-qV5XFPxOJZ_DHbePQXxsEQGeb3oYkEG5CfUID4bpy5hYrvipFuKy5NT3ypTLl_yVd-QHb8TPGn8XK3dZ9mT4Ow/s400/orange-is-the-new-black-dance-1024x682.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Raise the roof, y'all.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie is exactly this happy about being paired in a confined space
with Abbie, “the girl with the long limbs”:</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnBi5ch6gstxVinzQ5XC-T0XDDbs1mD448Qw0zc_twzee1H2Jjpd7TrF9Avr7I48hqoxa3sHiFi5E_MCsiv9MBQ1SlAyha6CjyLzBRAsqboMMQND5NFMiU_S9NTsrJS2GrU-JH4w/s1600/ANTM8.9+Duckie+not+happy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="327" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnBi5ch6gstxVinzQ5XC-T0XDDbs1mD448Qw0zc_twzee1H2Jjpd7TrF9Avr7I48hqoxa3sHiFi5E_MCsiv9MBQ1SlAyha6CjyLzBRAsqboMMQND5NFMiU_S9NTsrJS2GrU-JH4w/s400/ANTM8.9+Duckie+not+happy.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Maybe you should use the phonebooth to call someone who cares.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At the other end of the spectrum, Dajana is happy she’s in
the booth with the comparatively elfin Shanali. Most of the rest of us are
happy about this because, when the girls complain about the difficulty of
boot-lacing in such a small space and Shiny Alex Perry responds with “A bad
tradesman always blames his tools”, Dajana and Shanali ARE ACTUALLY
IMPERSONATING TRADESMEN AT THE TIME.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibaI9u2qJB-ffILGT8rCz7Mji_MvTzBpe2XStx2aU5-9nPjLaOBIEPOYkDfZySyJNdaYZFHwA-X3olEywirx6HCmLZmJ2g4Jf7PdAxOdF8_TOJOLVnkEegWKVLMB7sJXJ1ac7Krg/s1600/ANTM8.9+Phonebooth+bums.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibaI9u2qJB-ffILGT8rCz7Mji_MvTzBpe2XStx2aU5-9nPjLaOBIEPOYkDfZySyJNdaYZFHwA-X3olEywirx6HCmLZmJ2g4Jf7PdAxOdF8_TOJOLVnkEegWKVLMB7sJXJ1ac7Krg/s400/ANTM8.9+Phonebooth+bums.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Smile, gentlemen.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shiny Alex Perry offers instructional advice such as “suck
it up honey”. The non-phonebooth girls offer actual advice. It’s a frenzy of
lace, eyeshadow, eyelets and suede until suddenly some shit. Goes. Down.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dajana, frustrated and confined, shouts to Shiny Alex Perry:
“YOU KNOW WHAT, IF YOUR CLOTHES WERE OF BETTER QUALITY, YOUR SHOELACES WOULDN’T
BE FRAYING!”.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnrn5X0I9nk_ADnERQHpozwHvLBpB1S9aACnTi1RpxCjD5m0XNQRXo1VIUwR50VzOcBkDaKwpP9txRJCM1H0X3VQzyWc0TOc8bzDxedCOhlw8aTYMj22lCk9E8oqi3Yc_jTvskyg/s1600/ANTM8.9+Dajana+fuuuuuck.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="287" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnrn5X0I9nk_ADnERQHpozwHvLBpB1S9aACnTi1RpxCjD5m0XNQRXo1VIUwR50VzOcBkDaKwpP9txRJCM1H0X3VQzyWc0TOc8bzDxedCOhlw8aTYMj22lCk9E8oqi3Yc_jTvskyg/s400/ANTM8.9+Dajana+fuuuuuck.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s fine. I’m sure she’ll get over it and everyone will
forget about it in a minute or two.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shiny Alex says to camera “Say anything about me, but don’t
slag my clothes”. Alright, Shiny Alex – this is what I’ll say about you: WHY
HAVEN’T YOU GIVEN ME ANY OF YOUR NO DOUBT HIGH QUALITY CLOTHES. No slagging, yo.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Everyone competes, zippers get stuck, dresses are awesome,
people are boot-strategic, Abbie wins twice. Duckie LOVES it that Abbie won.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrePV35eHWUA9PsvkNPV6H2XuIbKzZxqJMRlsN_EfLZFGDDnbA11eCZrQdezV7Na3sS-pvCs9iru7IaCXE9PAYyAzxVGnYNGli3wWWguFNHfPyMjvXD2FyzhiiIaR8_pF2UoJjMA/s1600/ANTM8.9+Duckie+not+happy+with+Abbie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrePV35eHWUA9PsvkNPV6H2XuIbKzZxqJMRlsN_EfLZFGDDnbA11eCZrQdezV7Na3sS-pvCs9iru7IaCXE9PAYyAzxVGnYNGli3wWWguFNHfPyMjvXD2FyzhiiIaR8_pF2UoJjMA/s400/ANTM8.9+Duckie+not+happy+with+Abbie.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yaaaay.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shannon, who I probably should’ve mentioned before now likes
to win stuff, is also bummed. She says “We missed out by THAT much…..”</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhuQAT_cTi3NHEc9BZni75C88-7VtueK_C7jtbaIZ8uZFrjuaqyqUgngzv9QMjifyVu0n0_KG-Uz5js3d5kom09DcVpSLdL6dgVfiCsn9kEyqgaNGo6UzD3DfAUMdgO7INRpYVRw/s1600/ANTM8.9+Shannon+literally+that+much.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhuQAT_cTi3NHEc9BZni75C88-7VtueK_C7jtbaIZ8uZFrjuaqyqUgngzv9QMjifyVu0n0_KG-Uz5js3d5kom09DcVpSLdL6dgVfiCsn9kEyqgaNGo6UzD3DfAUMdgO7INRpYVRw/s400/ANTM8.9+Shannon+literally+that+much.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“…..LITERALLY that much”.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVqSIsY1aWKYweph1kg_jTv5mzWcJeC7haRtAFNX3Z6SitBB9hpOBGGubGLAn0dG7bKKHh-cyh7qDmsRvFClPwN6c_sZUuOM5TBkKqpQd4Qz8eclqdanGImNRxH6D93cQhNw-mtQ/s1600/ANTM8.9+Hulk+think+you+mean+figuratively.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVqSIsY1aWKYweph1kg_jTv5mzWcJeC7haRtAFNX3Z6SitBB9hpOBGGubGLAn0dG7bKKHh-cyh7qDmsRvFClPwN6c_sZUuOM5TBkKqpQd4Qz8eclqdanGImNRxH6D93cQhNw-mtQ/s400/ANTM8.9+Hulk+think+you+mean+figuratively.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mr Perry has a very stern view of tearing clothing, Mr Hulk.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For her prize, Abbie gets to pick a friend to go to high tea
and a tea-leaf reading at the Langham
Hotel with, so she and Duckie take the Posh Express to Poshtown and eat pretty
much all the food they threw in the bin in Episode 3.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lyndall the tea-leaf reader arrives, seemingly unable to
predict for herself that she’d run out of conditioner fifteen years ago. From
the mass of earthy gunk left in her cup, she tells Abbie that she might be
going somewhere with a colder climate than here. Hmmm… let’s see, a colder
climate than Sydney… THAT’S LIKE ALMOST EVERYWHERE ELSE! This chick is goooood.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I did two tea-leaf readings of my own, and it turns out I’m
WAY more accurate than Lyndall. The first one predicted that at some point
Abbie would look diagonally upwards.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFUmj0GveOoGIxkTClvFaxrPybh7BHp4WTD0Vlwe1FOQjKyHJsP_mBih40cp1jRsCxFoMDMFql9Xz-P-JFXNJzc2BUdLIjytWO0a1_nKt3bgoy4uZiAMxavIvNlcZ2cww1noYJtQ/s1600/ANTM8.9+Abbie+face+prediction.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFUmj0GveOoGIxkTClvFaxrPybh7BHp4WTD0Vlwe1FOQjKyHJsP_mBih40cp1jRsCxFoMDMFql9Xz-P-JFXNJzc2BUdLIjytWO0a1_nKt3bgoy4uZiAMxavIvNlcZ2cww1noYJtQ/s400/ANTM8.9+Abbie+face+prediction.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Spot on.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The second one, though, was <i>really </i>spooky.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlCbvDpYF5pgQ4YHQWftASKhubhQXH5o7U2ROxxdTdllwIgA_4mQtgRPt2TC8cbMC-LpZnJB48XxBvpnzxaixst-UkXA1DEY-_yh62jFgp7BPnCtnpOkNfyK6de99kPnI8_JfMRA/s1600/ANTM8.9+tea+leaf+reading.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="337" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlCbvDpYF5pgQ4YHQWftASKhubhQXH5o7U2ROxxdTdllwIgA_4mQtgRPt2TC8cbMC-LpZnJB48XxBvpnzxaixst-UkXA1DEY-_yh62jFgp7BPnCtnpOkNfyK6de99kPnI8_JfMRA/s400/ANTM8.9+tea+leaf+reading.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Uncanny.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Meanwhile, the other girls get pretty much exactly the same
prize except at home without someone who lies about wet leaves. As a bonus,
they get Dajana reminding us that she made a bad comment in front of Shiny Alex
Perry. But that’s probably the last time anyone will mention that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Interlude: Fish and
Crying.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Back at the Module Mansion that evening, all the modules sit
miraculously in the same room reading quietly when they suddenly hear an
American accent saying “ALRIGHT ALRIIIIGHT!”. It’s Diddles! With sushi! Lying
about having a night off and wanting to spend it hanging out!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Aside, to be read in either David Attenborough or Sandra
Sully’s voice: Those of you familiar with America’s Next Top Model in
particular may recognise this ritual as ‘Getting To Know You Night’, in which
Tyra (played tonight by Didier Cohen), asks the girls questions about their
lives and ‘what makes them tick’. The process involves, almost without
exception, stories of hardship, illness, teasing, and sorrow. But mostly crying.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">SHIT THAT IT IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO MAKE FUN OF.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So instead of unbelievably witty satire, let’s just settle
for this.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwvy3n717uVV0XxbQNWeLXEYDwTh5whs71wrTvcsMkxUfiXP0Ik4qB2KjRaJxiSItGEE8q6StOVl9L6TYG9ihtMBlMOIs5XWw522pyCaBrOFRpYbt1-bAGWIBPNb6A8Nt6F2ldNg/s1600/ANTM8.9+Tissues.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwvy3n717uVV0XxbQNWeLXEYDwTh5whs71wrTvcsMkxUfiXP0Ik4qB2KjRaJxiSItGEE8q6StOVl9L6TYG9ihtMBlMOIs5XWw522pyCaBrOFRpYbt1-bAGWIBPNb6A8Nt6F2ldNg/s400/ANTM8.9+Tissues.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">News for teenage boys - they also make these for when your face ejaculates.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">RIGHT! Let’s get back to the good stuff I can hang shit on.
GO!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Phoy-Toys</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We’re back from the break/opportunity to splash water on our
faces and we learn about the prizes, which I think this year includes a year’s
supply of blackhead-removing strips and a shoehorn.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The modules are plonked into a photographic studio with
Diddles, Cosmo editor Bronwyn McCahon, Cosmo fashion director Nicole Adolphe,
and photographer Richard Freeman, who is the only person in the room who spells
his name like a normal person.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Nicole explains that today’s shoot is all about angles, and
that they’ll be working with mirrors. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wait. I get it. They’re reflecting. JUST LIKE THEY DID LAST
NIGHT WITH DIDDLES. This show is multi-faceted postmodern genius, I tell you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you don’t count the standard duck-mouth selfies,
obviously, I’ve taken exactly two photographs in a mirror before. One was
shortly after my housemate had left the bathroom….</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGsPdg2sx8AlHWoGbpdY_PSzBsxI_raMKG3aLzVaSu3omdDf8tozMRmXdJzmDlFFo-nHSdndmK2lIO1UcRg3r9bzIvzQoPOZprE8VAVfYIsi1I-bjsEAB6Wjjx5WiqsDsAF4qjkA/s1600/mirror1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGsPdg2sx8AlHWoGbpdY_PSzBsxI_raMKG3aLzVaSu3omdDf8tozMRmXdJzmDlFFo-nHSdndmK2lIO1UcRg3r9bzIvzQoPOZprE8VAVfYIsi1I-bjsEAB6Wjjx5WiqsDsAF4qjkA/s400/mirror1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He was an avid supporter of the arts</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">…and one where I made myself look like a bishop crapping an
eyeball.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid4Sv2GFal7mUo_xvlTTwhubomOkzwVkqlmVrb6Uvr7RDSUIZe3cC3foH4yxuP8874GtRKJ-i3oOWG831wDnxeeY9Ghb3hj8-9pDAdeo1EleEiS0xyoJX06YlZHM92bIDKcLJy-Q/s1600/mirror2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid4Sv2GFal7mUo_xvlTTwhubomOkzwVkqlmVrb6Uvr7RDSUIZe3cC3foH4yxuP8874GtRKJ-i3oOWG831wDnxeeY9Ghb3hj8-9pDAdeo1EleEiS0xyoJX06YlZHM92bIDKcLJy-Q/s400/mirror2.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah. No caption.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Make no mistake – this is a brilliant photo shoot, and a dog
turd with bits of glass and Smarties in it would look good with this set-up.
That said…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I would like to own Abbie’s pants (not a euphemism, actually
own and actually pants), and she shoots really well albeit with a small case of
deadface. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie is MADE for this shoot, and sits on the floor making
me desperately want all eight of her shoes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jade looks absolutely unbelievably adorable with a high
ponytail and poses insanely well, impressing Mr Freeman and anyone with eyes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I CANNOT stop staring at Melissa. Diddles and Nicole aren’t
that impressed with her posing, but the entire world gives less than negative
four of a shit because she looks mesmerising.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali has a bit of an odd scowl and goes for more of a
floaty-nymph-on-Quaaludes vibe rather than a sharp-angled-power-yogi one, and
poses unusually poorly. She’s still totally my new best friend, though. What
she does in one shoot might not work in another. Because, like, the world don’t
move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you, might not be
right for some. WHICH REMINDS ME OF AN EIGHTIES SITCOM THEME, OBVIOUSLY.</span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/iAwagCwJj-g?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What you talkin' 'bout, Shanali.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Just before her shoot, Dajana takes a moment to worry about
her phonebooth comment again, which is replayed so often I’m seriously thinking
of adding it to the Catchphrase Log. Consequently, she wants to kick ever-lovin’
arse in her photo shoot. Consequently, she succeeds her fucking arse off. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Every time Shannon closes her mouth, her photos are strong,
angular, and exactly what the photographer wants. I’ll just leave that there. I
really, really like her skirt though.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Eliminationosity</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As the scrags enter the Eliminatorium, Dajana worries aloud about
her phonebooth comment to Shiny Alex Perry. A Clostridium bacterium lodged deep
in the intestines of a fat man lost at sea stops producing neurotoxins for a
moment, looks up, and says “Dude. We get it”. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Screamin’ J. Hawkins greets the girls, dressed as if she’s
in the middle of being eaten by a disco crocodile. She introduces Bronwyn
McCahon, a woman who nobody ever asks to blink less, Dawso, who is asked to
show on the doll where the man with the needle touched her…</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS64xxium6js_kmFo7khR8atDhp6_YQ39AhnrAYEn-8u8FojH-rHGQJfqfxRQjXeIa6dgsRu8ZZtzLpVkHjSS0Ap8QUJtDVsZAGoYsLHeWpnCuuC4UZPL6BInZMnQ0oVQ3-IQB6A/s1600/ANTM8.9+Dawso+botox.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS64xxium6js_kmFo7khR8atDhp6_YQ39AhnrAYEn-8u8FojH-rHGQJfqfxRQjXeIa6dgsRu8ZZtzLpVkHjSS0Ap8QUJtDVsZAGoYsLHeWpnCuuC4UZPL6BInZMnQ0oVQ3-IQB6A/s400/ANTM8.9+Dawso+botox.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Diddles, who is wearing shoulder restraints to stop him
jumping out of his chair with a plate of sushi insisting that he and the scrags
hang out…</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNVI4ELCFyiKA90Vd8rvNdGbMobuceJ2B9HKjXfuX8JHzOcfcASm9QIPUYytye5l_kK__MsXCubCEQxgtAj5L0oDZdHC5GBYLK6IwuZ4qmbcu4U0GohJhgwVx78sQSOPaBR84vkw/s1600/ANTM8.9+Diddles+shoulder+restraints.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNVI4ELCFyiKA90Vd8rvNdGbMobuceJ2B9HKjXfuX8JHzOcfcASm9QIPUYytye5l_kK__MsXCubCEQxgtAj5L0oDZdHC5GBYLK6IwuZ4qmbcu4U0GohJhgwVx78sQSOPaBR84vkw/s400/ANTM8.9+Diddles+shoulder+restraints.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And Shiny Alex Perry, dressed as a tablecloth in a children’s
restaurant.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcujflqBsgPXaK2tu3WU71lM1Hm3cvhnXwhmBFYzC1lqFQRKog_nU3EgchEn6NQyqu8iZUEQYU_wuWefnEZgZVGLvqifOS7n5m3HpjMG8fz9JXUXKMRU4q8WDA4nz2bvukfiuBjA/s1600/ANTM8.9+SAP+tablecloth+childrens+restaurant.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcujflqBsgPXaK2tu3WU71lM1Hm3cvhnXwhmBFYzC1lqFQRKog_nU3EgchEn6NQyqu8iZUEQYU_wuWefnEZgZVGLvqifOS7n5m3HpjMG8fz9JXUXKMRU4q8WDA4nz2bvukfiuBjA/s400/ANTM8.9+SAP+tablecloth+childrens+restaurant.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Spooky Tim Curry in 'IT' costs extra. Tip your waiter.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Photos are analysed, with some notable moy-ments:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of Abbie’s photograph, Shiny Alex Perry remarks “I saw her
arse squashed up against that telephone box for about twenty minutes”, while
Dawso mentions that she reminds her a lot of last year’s winner Montana. I’m
sure the two comments are unrelated. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Melissa approaches the panel for her critique, but I don’t
hear anything they say because I’m too distracted by her dangly ear cuff.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMb6iegQeV2T53SXeqsEKrXmF5eAFAoZg39aMdD6dBZL-Yexfna7sUOPfnm9vj4nf8nM9kr5CD-rfNtwlqDhu6oIQ6VUJFjGP3VPgPRiSyPu90Qq_iYcvAOpvturmUFU865vIcmg/s1600/ANTM8.9+Melissa+pre+monkey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMb6iegQeV2T53SXeqsEKrXmF5eAFAoZg39aMdD6dBZL-Yexfna7sUOPfnm9vj4nf8nM9kr5CD-rfNtwlqDhu6oIQ6VUJFjGP3VPgPRiSyPu90Qq_iYcvAOpvturmUFU865vIcmg/s400/ANTM8.9+Melissa+pre+monkey.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I can’t… I can’t help but think it needs something….</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqGNGrdNcw2mHW7V6ChJ3W2plTCMrycVdGxFKwrHUXa4EK1jOQPRiqNnhKzNop87n0yHDYYPct5EQHqKyLU0hZX2zL6T8oWuAtYEWtL3Zem8eyCwZaRFGihjN3hiL0CDcIsGK_Jg/s1600/ANTM8.9+Melissa+post+monkey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqGNGrdNcw2mHW7V6ChJ3W2plTCMrycVdGxFKwrHUXa4EK1jOQPRiqNnhKzNop87n0yHDYYPct5EQHqKyLU0hZX2zL6T8oWuAtYEWtL3Zem8eyCwZaRFGihjN3hiL0CDcIsGK_Jg/s400/ANTM8.9+Melissa+post+monkey.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Better.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Still. Her picture is eight different kinds of the business.
Shannon then approaches the desk and… OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCR01KoLArUBILvVPY6ZQ-b-8jv-n63QGooMGPVuSNOJYyFX2dxcWiuYbBsEcw4I4yhS3IxDmENDYDnXwilF11y2Gt0fzgGuaPl6jwFG1MwsUVYSvUMYxYRHUPeQgvisx-lxzQPg/s1600/ANTM8.9+Shannon+post+monkey.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCR01KoLArUBILvVPY6ZQ-b-8jv-n63QGooMGPVuSNOJYyFX2dxcWiuYbBsEcw4I4yhS3IxDmENDYDnXwilF11y2Gt0fzgGuaPl6jwFG1MwsUVYSvUMYxYRHUPeQgvisx-lxzQPg/s400/ANTM8.9+Shannon+post+monkey.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of Shannon’s actually-quite-decent photo, Screamin’ J. Hawkins
comments that perhaps she’s trying too hard. Yep. Shannon. Trying. Too hard.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKIsbBuwVZPsagna6NyO_FNQz-SDEhE3pyRfxcwt0XOKLvcWGdimyPiIlzW3tMMJnx0SnHPYD7nmENt-s46CVSRO7AvX_J5NhWwphC9xWY9UvtmkuGHNIHfw55mt1yROCvM8BAEw/s1600/ANTM8.9+Tracy+Flick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKIsbBuwVZPsagna6NyO_FNQz-SDEhE3pyRfxcwt0XOKLvcWGdimyPiIlzW3tMMJnx0SnHPYD7nmENt-s46CVSRO7AvX_J5NhWwphC9xWY9UvtmkuGHNIHfw55mt1yROCvM8BAEw/s400/ANTM8.9+Tracy+Flick.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What part of four hundred and twenty thousand percent don't you understand?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jade’s shot is awesome, and all of the judges but one list the eight
thousand reasons it’s awesome. Shiny Alex Perry, of course, says “You look like
a drunk sliding down the wall at a nightclub. I hate it”. I have personally
spoken to many, many drunks sliding down the wall at nightclubs, and they are
universally excellent people. I hope to be one one day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali’s photo is too soft for the brief, but she’s clearly
buoyed by the fact that this doesn’t affect our amazing friendship. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie’s shot is outstanding. My sister, who I watched this
episode with and who is currently in hospital after a pleasingly
not-a-heart-attack heart attack scare (Hiiiii Shelley!) commented at this point
“That is the best shot of someone sitting on the floor and squeezing a forehead
zit I have EVER SEEN”. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie gets a double page spread in Cosmo. Also not a
euphemism.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s Dajana’s turn for a critique, and we all wonder if she’ll
mention the comment she made to Alex Perry during the phonebooth challenge. What do you reckon, Amazing Psychic Desk?</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1ZVcZAJKBO5NRbbD2A01xDY4wvTeel9CI8oWWMVdKeBjrjLbenOM56s1XSPiKNNExqztPmpus1PXbGN7YXeOQFMqZpdKSqclfUeQ1xx_3XY_wU3hA_fgu4u1APfN6S3RgtV43Kg/s1600/ANTM8.9+AMAZIng+psychic+desk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1ZVcZAJKBO5NRbbD2A01xDY4wvTeel9CI8oWWMVdKeBjrjLbenOM56s1XSPiKNNExqztPmpus1PXbGN7YXeOQFMqZpdKSqclfUeQ1xx_3XY_wU3hA_fgu4u1APfN6S3RgtV43Kg/s400/ANTM8.9+AMAZIng+psychic+desk.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fair comment.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Happily, her picture is
outrageously and almost unspeakably excellent. Dawso, fresh from her previous
pun trophy win, says it’s “The photo that saved the faux pas”. Shiny Alex Perry
forgives her, but warns her to watch what she says. Then, just as she’s walking
away, he mutters as a brief aside “Clothes look like they’re good quality, too”.
Dajana laughs it off. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4lbIb0cmVA4rlIlpLtqhF23YbHCrvAF7Qk3ybWLKFjy49TCzz7ukt-LTsDpBsbVLFL2YMh_Gzlowlqc50-cG6OPpx8vgv3U3-3R_PCYLRhQDzsYZDOMSmtUWTdflJMg1_cANOpg/s1600/ANTM8.9+Dajana+FULLEE+SMASH.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4lbIb0cmVA4rlIlpLtqhF23YbHCrvAF7Qk3ybWLKFjy49TCzz7ukt-LTsDpBsbVLFL2YMh_Gzlowlqc50-cG6OPpx8vgv3U3-3R_PCYLRhQDzsYZDOMSmtUWTdflJMg1_cANOpg/s400/ANTM8.9+Dajana+FULLEE+SMASH.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Scrags walk out, judges deliberate, scrags walk in, and
Dajana gets photo of the week. She says “I was so happy, I literally almost
burst into tears”.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKwddaipHDGeo5BUQmg7XTmj9gqFt1cCLOEOhAlETuI9RQDKid141KZeAE-8gpHCmnScZgaylg2q5_D20VXR0WfsJpjG7nIZqudlBBg1a9D8R8Mk4pu_zRQ_q1xKlD2oElyr0jWQ/s1600/ANTM8.9+hULk+commends.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKwddaipHDGeo5BUQmg7XTmj9gqFt1cCLOEOhAlETuI9RQDKid141KZeAE-8gpHCmnScZgaylg2q5_D20VXR0WfsJpjG7nIZqudlBBg1a9D8R8Mk4pu_zRQ_q1xKlD2oElyr0jWQ/s400/ANTM8.9+hULk+commends.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When Screamin’ J. Hawkins calls Melissa, she tells her that
while her photo was adequate, “there’s still some room for growth”. Allow me to
predict the Australia’s Next Top Model facebook page comment response by saying
YEAH BUT NOT IN THE FOREHEAD RIGHT LOL YOLO.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Names are called one by one until only Tracy Flick Shannon
and Bestest Friend Ever Shanali are left. Jen wraps her mouth around eight or
nine unique vowels and then….</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">….Shannon is out. Unfortunately Shiny Alex Perry is
exhausted from his tablecloth work this week, so it’s up to the Barrel Of
Monkeys monkey to administer the ol’ laser eyes.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLC9S_q80rCtuVf14wEWa3WQqSk9oQbemMHTmKB_hplNEcdOFjlmy7SoexHSzFaOLx-jN3bqaYl33MoU7g8UK6lA-jgRF7D7rpYrNvx_dIliqefkWCUolbFx38P8fdIkpjklhdSQ/s1600/ANTM8.9+Monkey+laser+eyes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLC9S_q80rCtuVf14wEWa3WQqSk9oQbemMHTmKB_hplNEcdOFjlmy7SoexHSzFaOLx-jN3bqaYl33MoU7g8UK6lA-jgRF7D7rpYrNvx_dIliqefkWCUolbFx38P8fdIkpjklhdSQ/s400/ANTM8.9+Monkey+laser+eyes.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLDTs-PMFQ5kJzOhO2Aa4zGI8_kYAbXCo0YoYHtjUJl2dm_jCRFod3HXVD8Igypf8epd-jv7o7E_Rl9RY-4zeWfJZ_gnJ6m2_7j9ei9ch9KWIajVzq87iaYw-5zRseT11KzhVu9Q/s1600/ANTM8.9+Head+Asplode.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLDTs-PMFQ5kJzOhO2Aa4zGI8_kYAbXCo0YoYHtjUJl2dm_jCRFod3HXVD8Igypf8epd-jv7o7E_Rl9RY-4zeWfJZ_gnJ6m2_7j9ei9ch9KWIajVzq87iaYw-5zRseT11KzhVu9Q/s400/ANTM8.9+Head+Asplode.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thank you, Barrel Of Monkeys monkey.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bye, Shannon. You were beautiful, determined, long-legged,
determined, articulate, determined, and determined. Any last words?</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii_nu5OsgjsdeqlT0sHxh0kNt7kyV0gbamZuEKIZsEKnu6uqyIOzmZBpN1O7a1UrFmc4AoG3FYWUhn-HGTcvAN-KPuUnTsHn7sN0CTYv3sxzWG1Mpo0Q_Ioa-5TQ4-vdr8BPxyHg/s1600/ANTM8.9+sHANNON+Tracy+Flick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii_nu5OsgjsdeqlT0sHxh0kNt7kyV0gbamZuEKIZsEKnu6uqyIOzmZBpN1O7a1UrFmc4AoG3FYWUhn-HGTcvAN-KPuUnTsHn7sN0CTYv3sxzWG1Mpo0Q_Ioa-5TQ4-vdr8BPxyHg/s400/ANTM8.9+sHANNON+Tracy+Flick.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Exactly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And hey, yeah. There's a reasonable chance I <i>might </i>turn up in next week's episode in a poncho. Wear your witty incisive postmodernism pants.</span></div>
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Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-4158481648091871172013-08-27T20:31:00.000+10:002016-09-02T21:42:23.571+10:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Eight #8<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If there’s one specific thing I can’t stand, it’s specifics.
Well, one-ish.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So it’s great that this week isn’t about anything really
singular or crystal clear like, what - walking, or smiling, or finding your
light, or not strangling people. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This week is all about movement.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Movement and ‘being in the moment’.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The instruction manual for moving and being in the moment is
either one hundred and forty thousand pages long, or it’s just a picture of a
confused monkey.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji5AP3VM3Lv7YTK7W6fR30h-vK2DxeJO-f-9fAYEhpM2Q9GMsHFIIe-KtapRdR-lqKtWkKjOcv7RqSwogcmabsVBeWO7snBCh2vTUhsvKuRbtj8yrzxdOW1nswZU4CZp1WYynvnQ/s1600/ANTM8.8+Confused+Monkey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji5AP3VM3Lv7YTK7W6fR30h-vK2DxeJO-f-9fAYEhpM2Q9GMsHFIIe-KtapRdR-lqKtWkKjOcv7RqSwogcmabsVBeWO7snBCh2vTUhsvKuRbtj8yrzxdOW1nswZU4CZp1WYynvnQ/s400/ANTM8.8+Confused+Monkey.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I LOVE YOU, GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So get your skates and your watch on, it’s the ‘I Like To
Scrag It, Scrag It’ episode of <i>Australia’s
Next Top Model.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Be in the moment, but <i>quickly</i>.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Housekeeping<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Whilst we’re all being pretty much forced to bend over in
front of ‘Oh My God’ while it opens a tub of margarine as far as the quest to
find Reality Television’s Most Overused Catchphrase is concerned, you can’t
deny the impact of the suddenly-appearing ‘In The Moment’, which has come eagerly
from behind like an analogy I’m not really prepared to make. I only just
started counting instances of ‘In The Moment’ this week, and it’s already
coming fifth. </span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH_1UCA4ZJfU2Axs-bBlIPfSoDqLMe0fn-dBH4YwTE_WbbeHibcWsm8f4u1eeMb0zAv3tKDrKa9EzXcEdmn9wrBPvLaSaZ5CO7SWIbursVDxFfIHVA-JgIayDaZz9G5LzYh1BFOA/s1600/ANTM8.8+Catchphrase+log.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="276" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH_1UCA4ZJfU2Axs-bBlIPfSoDqLMe0fn-dBH4YwTE_WbbeHibcWsm8f4u1eeMb0zAv3tKDrKa9EzXcEdmn9wrBPvLaSaZ5CO7SWIbursVDxFfIHVA-JgIayDaZz9G5LzYh1BFOA/s400/ANTM8.8+Catchphrase+log.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Also, “I’m not here to make friends” FINALLY gets a guernsey
when Ashley says “Obviously it’s sad to see Maddy go, but I’m not really too
fussed about the friendships I make in the house right now”. SHUT UP THAT
TOTALLY COUNTS.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Learnment<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Morning breaks at the module mansion, and the modules busy
themselves doing mansion things.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Staring out at the water...</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL0LwQH1JN0eqQ_5QGcH0FT125hLuuPU2VYtXiTU-9mJumnucAQIzN18cJFuEfD3UmhfIxa97tv2wAonyEW2Dft9c1d7WsfnPztuxonw7fHViNaWQ42bxX-kZJDTEpdulOof5rBQ/s1600/ANTM8.8+Mansion+balcony.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL0LwQH1JN0eqQ_5QGcH0FT125hLuuPU2VYtXiTU-9mJumnucAQIzN18cJFuEfD3UmhfIxa97tv2wAonyEW2Dft9c1d7WsfnPztuxonw7fHViNaWQ42bxX-kZJDTEpdulOof5rBQ/s400/ANTM8.8+Mansion+balcony.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Doing those really hard sit-ups...</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyg5nJV1ZGOy1tilLq6Kl2YV1pG1eaLkFxYgSaiAbnd1JtnTMNgFSdTnZkZrwk66BaeSxb9hf0d2kvpDiuKkKGPhk-oiFE0mE4n8jC9cgfadSaCFN-UBo-6LzljM5FmuY8XO6Pew/s1600/ANTM8.8+Mansion+sit-ups.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyg5nJV1ZGOy1tilLq6Kl2YV1pG1eaLkFxYgSaiAbnd1JtnTMNgFSdTnZkZrwk66BaeSxb9hf0d2kvpDiuKkKGPhk-oiFE0mE4n8jC9cgfadSaCFN-UBo-6LzljM5FmuY8XO6Pew/s400/ANTM8.8+Mansion+sit-ups.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">...and not being too fussed about friendships in the house
right now.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikra-Emw1BDHf9c2l1b8GbZnRbcPXsGHnYUVPNV0DT1Md8ZpV1ZAIzCqNXz8QN8zFBtqPUKPIVR4SsY85jsOVj69_7dGBo9x-ixOGCL-rlZR3S0D8GHSB-F5vOkenIIuaKbIZE9A/s1600/ANTM8.8+Mansion+not+making+friends.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikra-Emw1BDHf9c2l1b8GbZnRbcPXsGHnYUVPNV0DT1Md8ZpV1ZAIzCqNXz8QN8zFBtqPUKPIVR4SsY85jsOVj69_7dGBo9x-ixOGCL-rlZR3S0D8GHSB-F5vOkenIIuaKbIZE9A/s400/ANTM8.8+Mansion+not+making+friends.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And possibly planning a migraine.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Suddenly, but hardly surprisingly because week eight you
guys,</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">a Jen Mail chirps through and
Screamin’ J. Hawkins quotes directly from her PhD thesis once again. There are
words and phrases like ‘smooth’, ‘bust a move’, ‘express yourself’ and ‘strike
a pose’, so I have no choice but to guess that today’s lesson will be all about
having a terrible CD collection twenty years ago.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Abbie, not being born twenty years ago, guesses that “maybe
it’s like movement, and then like, you gotta like, keep a face?”. It’s fair to
say that Abbie has become a master at keeping the same face in all
circumstances.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipA5nukA-tS5rE5zwlyVrQOR2T7scO_BgcM72Q2J5CpaKuew0UQiNBDqF82AV1OT3H3Ssk37a4fRmmFpf-2qOna8YPHk7o0BQ8422moKCQSwsZNHmKatqcx5vFA3IqkfktrPUYGQ/s1600/ANTM8.8+Abbie+keeps+Abbie+face2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipA5nukA-tS5rE5zwlyVrQOR2T7scO_BgcM72Q2J5CpaKuew0UQiNBDqF82AV1OT3H3Ssk37a4fRmmFpf-2qOna8YPHk7o0BQ8422moKCQSwsZNHmKatqcx5vFA3IqkfktrPUYGQ/s400/ANTM8.8+Abbie+keeps+Abbie+face2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb10yB3tNlHbcUWGJuoc_8_bnetBBhyphenhyphen_Jm2tV1-aq1-vPSWSmoAWjz2VtcLWrbaCogVt7OyulcX8EKoMmn60zDWanlXB2wrRlQ3l1j2H_yLx8MhL_H3_MKb0_q3ndtnu5b4BD8CA/s1600/ANTM8.8+Abbie+keeps+Abbie+face3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb10yB3tNlHbcUWGJuoc_8_bnetBBhyphenhyphen_Jm2tV1-aq1-vPSWSmoAWjz2VtcLWrbaCogVt7OyulcX8EKoMmn60zDWanlXB2wrRlQ3l1j2H_yLx8MhL_H3_MKb0_q3ndtnu5b4BD8CA/s400/ANTM8.8+Abbie+keeps+Abbie+face3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikyKnzcU7Vn-jnUY4d3m3VKuKPrrqSfyTcxkmmQcoPO_3l8wiL-MhH-pm553pJFMAq4VZbOrYpipxFfIGd6ZBEr5KAQGtel5HzzAQ4drdqSRIFkUHwOncxQXJs8JFfvyAtg6bciw/s1600/ANTM8.8+Abbie+keeps+Abbie+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikyKnzcU7Vn-jnUY4d3m3VKuKPrrqSfyTcxkmmQcoPO_3l8wiL-MhH-pm553pJFMAq4VZbOrYpipxFfIGd6ZBEr5KAQGtel5HzzAQ4drdqSRIFkUHwOncxQXJs8JFfvyAtg6bciw/s400/ANTM8.8+Abbie+keeps+Abbie+face.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She's probably really good at spotting ninjas.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Off everyone trots in the glamour Nissans to the Sydney
Opera House, where Screamin’ J. Hawkins makes a brief appearance to tell them
they’ll be doing ballet with principal ballerina Amber Scott, who is elegant,
poised, and so thin she looks like someone stretched a fruit roll-up over a sea
urchin. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ashley is impressed by the way Amber dances, saying that
“She’s moving really graceful, and she’s on her tippy toes, like, on that part
of her feet? Like the tippy tippy toes?”. I know she doesn’t <i>sound</i> overly smart when she says it, but
she sure looks it. </span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzY-4fiphPXXh0nr1ruEhdkhENzbr2BZoAqI7_1RC6nMgC-jHs9Y3JupeZkHT4LbOrVkKSUC4Cng9AsuS2ZlDebxgQPVI7yJo9mG_moQ-9_3QAxoPoadlp4z3WgHLldwiizQRiDQ/s1600/ANTM8.8+Ashley+tippy+tippy+toes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzY-4fiphPXXh0nr1ruEhdkhENzbr2BZoAqI7_1RC6nMgC-jHs9Y3JupeZkHT4LbOrVkKSUC4Cng9AsuS2ZlDebxgQPVI7yJo9mG_moQ-9_3QAxoPoadlp4z3WgHLldwiizQRiDQ/s400/ANTM8.8+Ashley+tippy+tippy+toes.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Also how is she doing that.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Amber tells the scrags that today’s lesson is all about
physical expression, and that “being a ballet dancer’s a bit like being a
model, we can’t just be a body”. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIL1trfKNstlQEfidU7YSPKCzEhNKq7mEwaQXFzQLPfFqW3QNXAYCC7q7HJ1DU6r5yWocIHHALhgGrKaUgASINrXJOtOxSn1LcE7zgT-0ChC10AWpI-P9P69wvnBsulxGpzt60Jg/s1600/ANTM8.8+Elle+sad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIL1trfKNstlQEfidU7YSPKCzEhNKq7mEwaQXFzQLPfFqW3QNXAYCC7q7HJ1DU6r5yWocIHHALhgGrKaUgASINrXJOtOxSn1LcE7zgT-0ChC10AWpI-P9P69wvnBsulxGpzt60Jg/s400/ANTM8.8+Elle+sad.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Maybe she can rename herself 'The Personality'? Second thoughts no.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Amber has some tutus and ballet slippers for the girls, which
is the worst thing that has ever happened to Shannon.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">“So there’s Amber in her big elegant white tutu looking so
beautiful, and we’re given little pink fluffy frilly tutus that we gotta whip
on over what we’re actually wearing” she determinedly whines. “Doesn’t exactly
make ya feel elegant, does it?”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3WOJicJHDqQdkJLtOt-L4_ODCeWqIb8z9zVisKrH_6yE3J1-mZdMSC9D1BeHanizkB8Oa45GHVsXWMHr2hQneZZZ7lMhwOX8LTp-ivQnEmgROgu5NKET_Gw5Esl_8GmeNbWylYQ/s1600/ANTM8.8+Tracy+Flick+elegant+tutu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3WOJicJHDqQdkJLtOt-L4_ODCeWqIb8z9zVisKrH_6yE3J1-mZdMSC9D1BeHanizkB8Oa45GHVsXWMHr2hQneZZZ7lMhwOX8LTp-ivQnEmgROgu5NKET_Gw5Esl_8GmeNbWylYQ/s400/ANTM8.8+Tracy+Flick+elegant+tutu.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tracy Flick's tippy tippy toes will dance on your grave.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Everybody does a few unconvincing ballet moves.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This is a terrible lesson.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Those are terrible tutus.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Everyone is terrible.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And Duckie is the terriblest.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFqfzwzklg1G-Ol2xXMblVbh2BqMmCrRJmBL72EQm2lp8v233-gIDeUCKn5CDAL35baViiwT5noeepcjRLOilk84DZmCoShpUjqBlPEPq-8dITJZTTmrqTL8m7Si_sr_iM1Q6o-g/s1600/ANTM8.8+Duckie+dance1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFqfzwzklg1G-Ol2xXMblVbh2BqMmCrRJmBL72EQm2lp8v233-gIDeUCKn5CDAL35baViiwT5noeepcjRLOilk84DZmCoShpUjqBlPEPq-8dITJZTTmrqTL8m7Si_sr_iM1Q6o-g/s400/ANTM8.8+Duckie+dance1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj_db19pi59UPLJX-OhHI6mJWlccysmsud61gPsBw2pbcDs9mdA7t5UAiP0xvzP0SxGGQsGycpy68OhLFYtHgcOA1cR2rFQXDVX3ceX4N1mShchKodbsh5xmdGnbeBX6fwgGabxw/s1600/ANTM8.8+Duckie+dance2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj_db19pi59UPLJX-OhHI6mJWlccysmsud61gPsBw2pbcDs9mdA7t5UAiP0xvzP0SxGGQsGycpy68OhLFYtHgcOA1cR2rFQXDVX3ceX4N1mShchKodbsh5xmdGnbeBX6fwgGabxw/s400/ANTM8.8+Duckie+dance2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW8p3t3XM9Q4UjTZbYp2UojHhvSjYAWXrvQJ6hyphenhyphenLbTIz7D2D8CBL32GtNg8OP-WCuNE7RYCTFbC0uwebbE0vledM1T0Jgm1qdVotCmskSeKEU4IfnofqBtKaVXdkFLcGaAxS9Rvw/s1600/ANTM8.8+Duckie+dance3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW8p3t3XM9Q4UjTZbYp2UojHhvSjYAWXrvQJ6hyphenhyphenLbTIz7D2D8CBL32GtNg8OP-WCuNE7RYCTFbC0uwebbE0vledM1T0Jgm1qdVotCmskSeKEU4IfnofqBtKaVXdkFLcGaAxS9Rvw/s400/ANTM8.8+Duckie+dance3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And I guess now would be a terrible time to make a Black
Swan joke.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh57LansCflIBh39dt_gphT_MUhGFnlY04syNjtaxwBm2BsU8pWIikZLFUNGEwLu4uMi6x-UMLhtO1aoUcwLbz2OxYrRVqT80VmdB7qC3KpuwTsOSjsISgoUQqiXx5WmlxMDXrJFw/s1600/thats-racist3.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh57LansCflIBh39dt_gphT_MUhGFnlY04syNjtaxwBm2BsU8pWIikZLFUNGEwLu4uMi6x-UMLhtO1aoUcwLbz2OxYrRVqT80VmdB7qC3KpuwTsOSjsISgoUQqiXx5WmlxMDXrJFw/s400/thats-racist3.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Your FACE is, Adamant Little Guy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Shannon concedes that “we would’ve looked like the worst
unco-ordinated like, giraffes on a stage EVER”.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I dunno, man. I have seen a LOT of unco-ordinated stage giraffes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Then it’s over and nobody is sad about that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Challenged, Part 1.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Before they leave the Opera House, Screamin’ J. Hawkins
tells the modules that their new skills will be put to the test tomorrow, when
“you’ll all star in the very first Australia’s Next Top Model Fashion Film”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Fashion what? Film? That’s not even a thing, is it? I
Googled it, and this is what I got:</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJY6WdszHESngn5hL0U6Uc79j5upXRtxmbAPwXH8Sn65NU9aiQTquxTJaS0TexcAB4xXvo_bF3YIsQDCsqY35UdmUga1vMFXq_AF6uxnHeViGIpqZHHysB4XqXp7GUZH2CB9_j4w/s1600/ANTM8.8+Fashion+film1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJY6WdszHESngn5hL0U6Uc79j5upXRtxmbAPwXH8Sn65NU9aiQTquxTJaS0TexcAB4xXvo_bF3YIsQDCsqY35UdmUga1vMFXq_AF6uxnHeViGIpqZHHysB4XqXp7GUZH2CB9_j4w/s400/ANTM8.8+Fashion+film1.jpg" width="398" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Oh look, FINE. It </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">is</i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">
actually a thing. It’s fancy words fashion designers use when they mean ‘ad’. They film models
wearing their clothes with a view to promoting, marketing and selling their
clothes, but they don’t call it an ‘ad’. I am just about done with this shit.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So okay, Shannon gets really excited because she’s heard
that fashion films can go viral, so maybe there <i>is</i> something to get turbo-jazzed about and I should stop being so
judgy-wudgy. Then Screamin’ J. Hawkins enlightens us with “In the film, you’ll
bring to life the new flavour range of Mount Franklin’s lightly sparkling
water”. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKpgk_Z6iGP5Sk3Cit8y-JLnErfm-jNnJnUJFBBCOUJRgyBJW1NG7qyCLQ4PPBfseAGEMTVaVeqXJvREFtfQHVqoo7Mw6MgCfVzSDmKoqq9KIgDFmDJLvgnjiKhXvE-yyTWJvxKQ/s1600/ANTM8.8+gREEEEAAAT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKpgk_Z6iGP5Sk3Cit8y-JLnErfm-jNnJnUJFBBCOUJRgyBJW1NG7qyCLQ4PPBfseAGEMTVaVeqXJvREFtfQHVqoo7Mw6MgCfVzSDmKoqq9KIgDFmDJLvgnjiKhXvE-yyTWJvxKQ/s400/ANTM8.8+gREEEEAAAT.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic-vjcX3Cvdx_2MTFjs7Nd52ck4hikaHWcLsFWZdn4YLSEiWUEr-Gt_EMMSXVOYjZodXDL4sPM_oKc1oROTSB6MuFyUODE1HLRfzF-9dOvsiid4-r6adOtZnMiZHxRs5cdi6Jw0g/s1600/ANTM8.8+That+sounds+awesome..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic-vjcX3Cvdx_2MTFjs7Nd52ck4hikaHWcLsFWZdn4YLSEiWUEr-Gt_EMMSXVOYjZodXDL4sPM_oKc1oROTSB6MuFyUODE1HLRfzF-9dOvsiid4-r6adOtZnMiZHxRs5cdi6Jw0g/s400/ANTM8.8+That+sounds+awesome..jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I am moderately re-wudgied.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But shoosh, no time for that – we have to launch ourselves
flingingly into:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Interlude: A
Clusterfuck Of Eye-Rolls.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Now pay attention, because I’d hate for you to miss one second
of this ridiculous bullshit.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Okay.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The scrags are in the Module Mansion, doing irresponsible,
inconsiderate things like washing dishes and mopping floors. Bitches.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ashley, who is selflessly lying down on the couch, asks the
other girls to be a bit quieter, because she has a migraine, and I am
completely certain that it’s a real migraine and not just a headache. Of
greater concern should obviously be the fact that Ashley’s legs have clearly
been amputated, preventing her from standing the fuck up and going the fuck to bed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Melissa, belligerent delinquent that she clearly is, has a
mild dig at Ashley for her COMPLETELY REASONABLE AND ALMOST SAINT-LIKE request,
which causes Ashley to storm into her
shared bedroom, throw a pile of clothes on the floor, and make a startling
threat that I’m surprised even made
it past the producers, the editors, the censors, and the police. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ashley, right – wait, still painful – Ashley says: “And if
Melissa doesn’t come in and clean her shit up, she’s gonna find that...I’M
GONNA DO IT MYSELF”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSclVMjzAuv-s9DkZb3kKaf6FT_u5GtwxcrlhF1by6zjbjFjsiXX31O1j4FExAzl_DFOYQ1mt-VJ365s8BjjcsnPeRo8IWxRcvvGOlf45KU_PH05X4WUO2gxpc9uTP4oeH89Sqpw/s1600/ANTM8.8+Bad+Ash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSclVMjzAuv-s9DkZb3kKaf6FT_u5GtwxcrlhF1by6zjbjFjsiXX31O1j4FExAzl_DFOYQ1mt-VJ365s8BjjcsnPeRo8IWxRcvvGOlf45KU_PH05X4WUO2gxpc9uTP4oeH89Sqpw/s400/ANTM8.8+Bad+Ash.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Is that even <i>LEGAL, </i>cleaning
up someone else’s shit for them? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Later, Ashley cries to camera “When you’re locked in a house
with girls for two months, things do get tense, y’know?”. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Naw. Poooor little migraine-riddled, luxury-mansion-trapped
Ashley. WAIIIIT a second. A full house.
A girl called Ashley. I believe this week’s retro sitcom theme has just written
its own way into the story...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/vUlgBSz3AkY?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Doobeedoo Ba-ba-dah.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Melissa rounds off the drama by saying “I don’t regret
anything I said, like, I stand by everything I said to her just then, however I
don’t want her to look at this as me, like, attacking her”. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">YOU BETTER WATCH YO BACK, BITCH, OR YOU’LL FIND YO-SEFF WITH
ALL YO STUFF CLEANED UP.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Right.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Challenge</span></b><b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">d, Part 2.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Suddenly there’s either been a flower bomb dropped on a
paint factory in Fiji, or the scrags are all wearing Camilla frocks and
standing in front of Dawso, who gees them up about doing their first ever
fashion film because that’s totally a thing and not just an ad.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ashley thinks she has a pretty good chance of winning, and
adds “I got pretty excited. Y’know, I’m a good actress”. Oh, totally. Nobody
doubted that migraine bit for a second. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Dawso continues, telling the girls that they’re lucky to
welcome two very special guests today.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXR89TQXqddEsBcX-hDDcBujUkVYTu6GRsIlzXgbxQoAHEB7lWYgawmI_9Ba2As2ZCoGmsgYWDS2R8NH8NJRz2W1nGjry0-qxghFVxH3JAnRu8OyYhIPC5yq1ZzBF2yS0uDUmDBA/s1600/ANTM8.8+Dajana+baklava.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXR89TQXqddEsBcX-hDDcBujUkVYTu6GRsIlzXgbxQoAHEB7lWYgawmI_9Ba2As2ZCoGmsgYWDS2R8NH8NJRz2W1nGjry0-qxghFVxH3JAnRu8OyYhIPC5yq1ZzBF2yS0uDUmDBA/s400/ANTM8.8+Dajana+baklava.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh, Dajana. You so ethnically stereotyped.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The guests are film director Alex Goddard and frock designer
Camilla Franks, and everybody says ‘sparkling’ eight times each. Dawso explains
that each girl represents a different Mount Franklin lightly sparkling flavour,
like lime, lemon, or berry.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMjXz4xFWDtqv4WvTm9gLfFoHs6JPBcy_7m064m8BBU0C6cm7rmBlGHLUM5LvVufhwR7BQfyz3f9RUiCPlngV-wlErzJgAXOE_8d6rAc45NGQXGx00gKWzHy-NcZvFcOTrgvNWXg/s1600/ANTM8.8+gREAAAT2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMjXz4xFWDtqv4WvTm9gLfFoHs6JPBcy_7m064m8BBU0C6cm7rmBlGHLUM5LvVufhwR7BQfyz3f9RUiCPlngV-wlErzJgAXOE_8d6rAc45NGQXGx00gKWzHy-NcZvFcOTrgvNWXg/s400/ANTM8.8+gREAAAT2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> Dawso then dangles a
sparkly carrot, telling the colourful clump of girls that the challenge winner
gets over a thousand dollars worth of self-modelled Samantha Wills jewellery,
which causes a great rush of baklava-eating.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK_Warw7ecVfd2GKNWBCyY6nc8zDG92hJgG0iWeZeelbBw2x082DbRffVfkb-HFZ5ZY2_NlF3YBVmF3DL7nMgo11iHeATEgpDwIh_aURAoCVmDJEvV6N6hKfHWdiKy7zD7RJ6Ltw/s1600/ANTM8.8+Baklava.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK_Warw7ecVfd2GKNWBCyY6nc8zDG92hJgG0iWeZeelbBw2x082DbRffVfkb-HFZ5ZY2_NlF3YBVmF3DL7nMgo11iHeATEgpDwIh_aURAoCVmDJEvV6N6hKfHWdiKy7zD7RJ6Ltw/s400/ANTM8.8+Baklava.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">BUT THAT’S NOT ALL. To help them model, Dawso introduces
doppelganger spunks the Stenmark Twins, the first decent male totty the scrags
have seen since they started.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsfQZYC-Yn-pp_f7qulbJH_OTt_uBjR7XiJUPXH_DtsRp8iCx2msA8KkRejAfbcRA19I-VdYR4UMqlYTyM0Lw2aZYf3XN7NBtuiyxR4w9WVtigHrfsUDRiVIIY3Sqgt4it6tAoSw/s1600/ANTM8.8+Baklava+for+everybody.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsfQZYC-Yn-pp_f7qulbJH_OTt_uBjR7XiJUPXH_DtsRp8iCx2msA8KkRejAfbcRA19I-VdYR4UMqlYTyM0Lw2aZYf3XN7NBtuiyxR4w9WVtigHrfsUDRiVIIY3Sqgt4it6tAoSw/s400/ANTM8.8+Baklava+for+everybody.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMHDCClW49T5SjwBC5c7xtwtK49fKoND0M_JOWOXCAhBd1Hh0Qi7gocmaRhJu85Ri_ev6qZKkt5_rCrM8Uyq5mP1odkZLe9ACdb0bLIfXSFXKabWZsau78ip8qKpPbr8RKDrCCug/s1600/ANTM8.8+Shakespeare+baklava.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMHDCClW49T5SjwBC5c7xtwtK49fKoND0M_JOWOXCAhBd1Hh0Qi7gocmaRhJu85Ri_ev6qZKkt5_rCrM8Uyq5mP1odkZLe9ACdb0bLIfXSFXKabWZsau78ip8qKpPbr8RKDrCCug/s400/ANTM8.8+Shakespeare+baklava.gif" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Phwoar-eth.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Shannon says to camera that she really, really wants to win
this challenge. A horse that has been dead for a decade and a half reanimates,
digs its way out of its own farmyard grave, learns to talk, and says “Dude. We
get it”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The idea of today’s not-ad is that the Stenmark twins are
leaving messages for the girls around the house, tied to Mount Franklin
bottles. Careful, boys – if you leave that shit lying around, Ashley might
clean it up for you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The modules are supposed to go on a treasure hunt to find
out who’s been leaving the mysterious messages, and are given complex tasks
like picking up bottles, sitting upright, looking confused, and sunbaking.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5xtL7iHsPlKY9ZDcnQ-cjSC61E1qPG7hUZVyQqCQYyMX9oOhckF7s5LBiJ94C6v2iibOO6hRbrvRQrKHH_BsLNLfKAe0HNseDDup32-VTc93FgppBLSoSmD0yPGwEweaHlu026Q/s1600/ANTM8.8+Acting+you+guys.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5xtL7iHsPlKY9ZDcnQ-cjSC61E1qPG7hUZVyQqCQYyMX9oOhckF7s5LBiJ94C6v2iibOO6hRbrvRQrKHH_BsLNLfKAe0HNseDDup32-VTc93FgppBLSoSmD0yPGwEweaHlu026Q/s400/ANTM8.8+Acting+you+guys.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">They finish by running along the beach to the final bottle
and seeing the Stenmark Twins coming out of the ocean, when really they could
have just left one message on the kitchen bench from the beginning that said
‘Going for a swim. Laters’. WASTING MY TIME.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Of the twins, Abbie says “The view is spectacular. Spelt
with an S. And two twins”, proving that Abbie should, under no circumstances,
leave high school early.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We watch the not-ad, and it’s hard to pick who the best girl
is because they all are, almost without exception, freakishly terrible. Picking
the best girl is like Lord Leighton picking his favourite industrial cityscape
or, for the lowbrow amongst you, like asking Miley Cyrus to pick her favourite
floor-length turtleneck.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Abbie wins, presumably because of her vast range of
expression.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgKFpiHaYOJsuleX3WNI4ksRfBIDjsN4jQoH7QAnBH6fCDRtqdjGbyxXRGm_0vsDlOdhZL62yjCPuwq_-RcmRv5kqB1wyDv22U2tunlnBuIck5-EQ8oFUR_Sf5lVmWfnzuHxerzw/s1600/ANTM8.8+aBBIE+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgKFpiHaYOJsuleX3WNI4ksRfBIDjsN4jQoH7QAnBH6fCDRtqdjGbyxXRGm_0vsDlOdhZL62yjCPuwq_-RcmRv5kqB1wyDv22U2tunlnBuIck5-EQ8oFUR_Sf5lVmWfnzuHxerzw/s400/ANTM8.8+aBBIE+face.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nailed it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ashley, still hungover from her selfless altruism earlier,
is bummed about not winning the challenge, saying “I just don’t understand how
the judging happened. Like, do they just pick it at random?”. Maybe the judges
had a migraine, babe.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Interlude: Chocolate-Coated
Sit-Ups.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ashley deep-fries stuff.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ashley dips things in chocolate.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ashley squirts whipped cream directly into her mouth.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ashley does exercising with Jade.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXgc5eX3JblBxUaJgri3Z1SPfAelwOnu-KYKaODzDwxGlW1_9jO56ReRM57nRjWeNqpRNnQWZzidZRhhxBOuaYXknApwQuRfbt8S57yVFQzS5YARk39FU3xhK1C4n2lg7yIX9NnA/s1600/ANTM8.8+Bored1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXgc5eX3JblBxUaJgri3Z1SPfAelwOnu-KYKaODzDwxGlW1_9jO56ReRM57nRjWeNqpRNnQWZzidZRhhxBOuaYXknApwQuRfbt8S57yVFQzS5YARk39FU3xhK1C4n2lg7yIX9NnA/s400/ANTM8.8+Bored1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJKL0RR3F_2DVCnO45W_EDeF7iNVy-zcNRxMiCJnGvEQQHufmZDqRshJluAT-hT0NyYebDEOvoYMZv-9wzHjdCyePDTktvI7ZASI34N5UzhYs5rHgSNPfrnQyIVC7Q79CVWGvFMQ/s1600/ANTM8.8+Bored2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJKL0RR3F_2DVCnO45W_EDeF7iNVy-zcNRxMiCJnGvEQQHufmZDqRshJluAT-hT0NyYebDEOvoYMZv-9wzHjdCyePDTktvI7ZASI34N5UzhYs5rHgSNPfrnQyIVC7Q79CVWGvFMQ/s400/ANTM8.8+Bored2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJU0etZ1HDRwb1VMMr6fsfTAMNaZOA8SfNvvyqQnEPCnDYApxhAy8f7zPDVOq9jxMS_4I9r6aiDI72JQAw5Rst1Bph4X-m5d-qRWm6UrHIfa5_AbdliGX9z7E21WkGl_eH_qYX8w/s1600/ANTM8.8+Bored3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJU0etZ1HDRwb1VMMr6fsfTAMNaZOA8SfNvvyqQnEPCnDYApxhAy8f7zPDVOq9jxMS_4I9r6aiDI72JQAw5Rst1Bph4X-m5d-qRWm6UrHIfa5_AbdliGX9z7E21WkGl_eH_qYX8w/s400/ANTM8.8+Bored3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtzPilWWF7m-ApgC7vYmLqpemRIo_-cxPhm-fVSPYLmeUBQ7Xe5VP1C6VINx-1zvFsDOphr1azzxCiBYLoFMQIBJLygf2kwBBNikYGg_0JwbNy-SeN-eVskEtI3tCcrOdsc_uUQg/s1600/ANTM8.8+Bored4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtzPilWWF7m-ApgC7vYmLqpemRIo_-cxPhm-fVSPYLmeUBQ7Xe5VP1C6VINx-1zvFsDOphr1azzxCiBYLoFMQIBJLygf2kwBBNikYGg_0JwbNy-SeN-eVskEtI3tCcrOdsc_uUQg/s400/ANTM8.8+Bored4.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Phoy-toys<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Let’s go to the beach, yo!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Shiny Alex Perry corrals the girls near some coral down at a
chilly but bright Bronte beach, still not finding it necessary to put his sunglasses
over his eyes, but doing a half-decent impersonation of a sugar-bowl. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguQb4E3en6vLOmqAGxxYHtsT_z_V0c5VmvQGqMcL5NDMnHAqDDgmY5Gj11YEOJpPKN94jq6bnHmeSf1FFZWt9qgeZ3UIDfnDxTVMLVeEAvr0IYzB55-_71Qmwx3h9PbOs1feTCig/s1600/ANTM8.8+Stenmark+and+sugar+bowl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguQb4E3en6vLOmqAGxxYHtsT_z_V0c5VmvQGqMcL5NDMnHAqDDgmY5Gj11YEOJpPKN94jq6bnHmeSf1FFZWt9qgeZ3UIDfnDxTVMLVeEAvr0IYzB55-_71Qmwx3h9PbOs1feTCig/s400/ANTM8.8+Stenmark+and+sugar+bowl.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">He tells
the modules that when fashion brands do campaigns, they have to work ahead of
the season, so Winter is usually shot in Summer, and swimwear is usually shot
when the water is very, very cold.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhNziS5_nNqBuxNLd95GL5ySL8AaLbEuD7LQUC_Pf3lW2SHwIM2lKWZo4YP_2K6hKFC0aQPLc3IlabYzKWNebw0uBKe8oHRy72chkBtHvp99MmYGNryHFyBqtel4U_oWFHEkhV3g/s1600/ANTM8.8+gREEEAT+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhNziS5_nNqBuxNLd95GL5ySL8AaLbEuD7LQUC_Pf3lW2SHwIM2lKWZo4YP_2K6hKFC0aQPLc3IlabYzKWNebw0uBKe8oHRy72chkBtHvp99MmYGNryHFyBqtel4U_oWFHEkhV3g/s400/ANTM8.8+gREEEAT+3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Melissa is unsure, saying “I got a little bit nervous. Water
is not something that I’m extremely comfortable with”. Dude. You’re like 70%
water. Find a way to deal.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Shiny Alex Perry introduces a long-haired, tanned photographer who probably wants very badly to make it in Europe in four or so years' time, and thinks that a single blog post might affect that. He surprises nobody when he says “I grew up on the Northern beaches of Sydney. I’ve
been surrounded by Australian beach culture my whole life”. </span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Today the girls will be impersonating natural, caught-in-the-moment,
non-posy Aussie surfer girls in wetsuits of various coverage, holding surfboards
with their names on them. Duckie says she’s not good at surfing which is weird,
because people who are terrible at ballet are usually </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">awesome</i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> surfers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Melissa is up first, and despite telling us that her dad
describes her swimming style as looking like she’s drowning, shivers through
the cold to land an excellent, if unco-operatively youthful, shot.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Shanali’s body is bullshit. It’s just bullshit.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Abbie looks surprisingly appropriate as a surfer chick,
cementing her place as that girl that nobody really had an opinion about in the
first few episodes but that everybody spastically loves now. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Shannon sits on the edge of the pool and I actually dig her
shot. Mind you, I’ve always appreciated good value, and she seems to have
managed a photo shoot <i>and</i> a gynaecological
exam for the price of one, so extra points for efficiency and sexual health.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmanA3IkfkTb6juhVZYyGVPN8GgMdFwVmOQjCUGiyku8sJXPy5NubvYBXhULwhdy0IP2RF6RbzQQrufz-Cedqh8je9wiWBFBkHpY3XxKFHOgroCVKz8KoX-XODrLa2NJxExNlEBw/s1600/ANTM8.8+Shannon+gynocologist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmanA3IkfkTb6juhVZYyGVPN8GgMdFwVmOQjCUGiyku8sJXPy5NubvYBXhULwhdy0IP2RF6RbzQQrufz-Cedqh8je9wiWBFBkHpY3XxKFHOgroCVKz8KoX-XODrLa2NJxExNlEBw/s400/ANTM8.8+Shannon+gynocologist.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That is the most determined vagina I have ever seen.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ashley over-poses a fair bit, despite Shiny Alex Perry
urging her to be ‘chilled out’, have a ‘sense of quiet’, and be ‘a little bit
zen-like’. Clearly what he should have said is ‘pretend you’ve got a migraine’.
She’s really quite nervous about her shot, telling us that “All it takes right now
is to have your hand the wrong way and you could be eliminated”. She may be
right, y’know.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYIildSvWKmdGonCQCkoAjMUPnlgkK5kSjyOzj5F-ulFx2lYO2HJqUmsi-49Pbt8a1h0gYlFw2Yt4xVN-iUVS4UBnY08C0Mah2hVQIOS-MUE8SDRXza6gQhis4XkVgyG9puzjCrQ/s1600/ANTM8.8+Ashley+hand+wrong+way.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYIildSvWKmdGonCQCkoAjMUPnlgkK5kSjyOzj5F-ulFx2lYO2HJqUmsi-49Pbt8a1h0gYlFw2Yt4xVN-iUVS4UBnY08C0Mah2hVQIOS-MUE8SDRXza6gQhis4XkVgyG9puzjCrQ/s400/ANTM8.8+Ashley+hand+wrong+way.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zen-like.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Duckie says she’s pleased to be ‘doing something completely
different’, not like posing on scaffolding, or near an elephant in Thailand, or
with fifties styling, or on a fallen windmill in the outback, or laughing on a
hotel balcony. Completely. Different. The photographer says she’s not modelling, she’s just
sort of hanging out in front of the camera. He means it as a good thing. I
know. I know.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Dajana has to pretend that she’s an Australian surfer chick,
and does an excellent job of pretending she’s an Australian surfer chick who
suddenly and repeatedly gives birth to a surfboard. She keeps falling off the
board, getting more and more frustrated. Happily, she keeps her face sophisticated
and serene.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk_h6bhyphenhyphenP6mrE6i50qfGmc0D6iyqMMAD4nWL5cRxBmqZyxwtuDVhYvIslu_ToB9-V5RIjU29XBqnjVKcvaEUbJx6iz1nn1uGd9eNBR9hoWuy2cymkSkUTQRK3guInQXFUGRq7iCQ/s1600/ANTM8.8+Dajana+surfing+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk_h6bhyphenhyphenP6mrE6i50qfGmc0D6iyqMMAD4nWL5cRxBmqZyxwtuDVhYvIslu_ToB9-V5RIjU29XBqnjVKcvaEUbJx6iz1nn1uGd9eNBR9hoWuy2cymkSkUTQRK3guInQXFUGRq7iCQ/s400/ANTM8.8+Dajana+surfing+face.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Acting, you guys.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Jade does a bomb into the water while the photographer shouts ‘Cannonball!’.
Meanwhile, Shannon determinedly laments missing the opportunity to make a ‘Shannonball’
pun. Jade is fine. She’s fine. She uses the term ‘a little too Blue-Steely’,
but she’s fine.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The photographer gives each of the girls a little kiss when their shoot
is finished. They don’t seem to mind.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Eliminationosity<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We come back from the ad-break to learn about the prizes,
which I think this year include four sample-size Kit Kats and a meerkat onesie.
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Screamin’ J. Hawkins welcomes the girls to the Eliminatorium
in a black and white print and promptly describes Dawso as ‘Our resident beach
babe’…</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIR6WEMj4Xr7Ova2X9RRfDESuRQ37Vv3h6JXb0CGpSFrCAcLp_ffeIn8Lj2FSQdwH58icJDFfjtgN-8iI3BzXLNTTZLxvelOuPKW_YfHSwB994glFi23JecBK9iTAL5_4sInGi1w/s1600/ANTM8.8+dAWSO+GREEEEAAT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIR6WEMj4Xr7Ova2X9RRfDESuRQ37Vv3h6JXb0CGpSFrCAcLp_ffeIn8Lj2FSQdwH58icJDFfjtgN-8iI3BzXLNTTZLxvelOuPKW_YfHSwB994glFi23JecBK9iTAL5_4sInGi1w/s400/ANTM8.8+dAWSO+GREEEEAAT.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">…Diddles as ‘every girl’s favourite lifesaver’…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgafOzB3HciKwi3QBJfJvfBKb-t3n9eGqj-dfG5PJa_k_wA8aQwh0N3SAnCbsVL1fpwiMLzeh5kEXHkAnDGpZTbBmq0SZ0zL97i-ceQ_p52DZby8-U30bDgC04duxNmzYRdi_ke8g/s1600/ANTM8.8+Diddles+lifesaver.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgafOzB3HciKwi3QBJfJvfBKb-t3n9eGqj-dfG5PJa_k_wA8aQwh0N3SAnCbsVL1fpwiMLzeh5kEXHkAnDGpZTbBmq0SZ0zL97i-ceQ_p52DZby8-U30bDgC04duxNmzYRdi_ke8g/s400/ANTM8.8+Diddles+lifesaver.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I promise that's a Lifesaver, not an anus.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">…and Shiny Alex Perry as a ‘bronzed Adonis’.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ-zuSLFpIPU86oYDGYboIJjqh0pzujcyFD3BjuQ28FhkpSKiO4JS0ZqALvyEfW-6WXUeqDLFppyEIhCaaS-1A4vxbv77EHg56HF_Th-yWOuWGWZjO6SDJvm77zAQBCC4iHl5gBQ/s1600/ANTM8.8+SAP+squinting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ-zuSLFpIPU86oYDGYboIJjqh0pzujcyFD3BjuQ28FhkpSKiO4JS0ZqALvyEfW-6WXUeqDLFppyEIhCaaS-1A4vxbv77EHg56HF_Th-yWOuWGWZjO6SDJvm77zAQBCC4iHl5gBQ/s400/ANTM8.8+SAP+squinting.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He's so sleepy he forgot to wear a tablecloth.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">They all flick through photos with a smattering of
interesting:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Dawso describes Shanali as ‘totally tubin’ it’, and nobody
pretends to know what that means, including Dawso. Jen says she’s ‘in a moment’.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">All the judges spastically love Abbie’s photo, noting her posing
progression. Jen says she’s ‘in the moment’. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Jade’s photo causes some considerable argument. Shiny Alex
Perry and Dawso do agree that it’s ‘a moment’, though. Gosh, so few things are
these days.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Duckie looks a tiny bit like she’s drowning, but completely
beautifully. Everyone waits with bated breath to see what Jen says. She says it
is ‘a moment’. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Dajana’s shot also causes some consternation. Dawso
convulsively loves it, but Shiny Alex Perry shocks her by saying he hates it. Jen
says it’s ‘definitely caught in the moment’. I catch Dawso in the moment and make her eat some baklava.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5NhWLhDnP4UZKf2wr9faIZxrRfmRYuNK8gQnV7pTum0iKMh_VLKH_VQVqgBukOJXjsGN-ROwNg66CDC9QplfImlW6tQYpvbCGxjoff0KFMKBqlDdERpUUGuoF6BH4iyVEyYl9Sw/s1600/ANTM8.8+Charlotte+baklava.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5NhWLhDnP4UZKf2wr9faIZxrRfmRYuNK8gQnV7pTum0iKMh_VLKH_VQVqgBukOJXjsGN-ROwNg66CDC9QplfImlW6tQYpvbCGxjoff0KFMKBqlDdERpUUGuoF6BH4iyVEyYl9Sw/s400/ANTM8.8+Charlotte+baklava.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">All the judges remark upon how young but cute Melissa looks
except Jen, who says ‘there is a moment there’.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Shannon’s shot is the least uptight anyone has ever seen her,
and is quite, quite awesome. Dawso is a bit miffed that in the shot she’s not
noticing the hot guy next to her, making the odd decision to call Shannon ‘dude’.
Shiny Alex Perry giggles, remarking "I think it’s really funny when old people
use the word ‘dude’", easily earning him this week’s trophy.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV4VAjL5HA4sRAw_wIP2SdV248OgepXqdXeHBywTCFxgeV5ElAGSrsmQ56kOahz5LM2bNwi5vk-vDQbvCaL8UpjKZ_10XQsLc66UhaztqUbvXn9ggSHRnfxxv1g-GgbnQq0KdpIg/s1600/ANTM8.8+Burn+trophy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV4VAjL5HA4sRAw_wIP2SdV248OgepXqdXeHBywTCFxgeV5ElAGSrsmQ56kOahz5LM2bNwi5vk-vDQbvCaL8UpjKZ_10XQsLc66UhaztqUbvXn9ggSHRnfxxv1g-GgbnQq0KdpIg/s400/ANTM8.8+Burn+trophy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Screamin’ J. Hawkins isn’t wild about Ashley’s shot as ‘it’s
meant to be in a moment’. Ashley has a cry, which is one of the main symptoms
of migraine. Pretty sure.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'm also pretty sure that most of the girls are in, at, or at the very least living next door to the moment. Wouldn't you say so, Amazing Psychic Desk?</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTLsBhh4EoeNw1Ka7rQgyBE5ptwJ5jcNHtI7yEm8rjeETMc-VyuzsarWvgh3wIhLcOGetv2xTrj2ihoC0tb5nZ0jpNGamRpRsf1SYm9MNuLxQ3jo57d5um8ne1P58b69mtrgUN0Q/s1600/ANTM8.8+SAP+Amazing+Psychic+Desk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTLsBhh4EoeNw1Ka7rQgyBE5ptwJ5jcNHtI7yEm8rjeETMc-VyuzsarWvgh3wIhLcOGetv2xTrj2ihoC0tb5nZ0jpNGamRpRsf1SYm9MNuLxQ3jo57d5um8ne1P58b69mtrgUN0Q/s400/ANTM8.8+SAP+Amazing+Psychic+Desk.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The scrags leave, the judges deliberate, Dawso threatens to ‘slap
those silly sunnies’ off Shiny Alex Perry’s head, the scrags return, and tense
background music plays, preparing itself to be replaced imminently by that
fucking ‘she lives in a different world’ fucking elimination fucking song.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Shanali gets photo of the week at least partly because she’s
my best friend, Abbie is called out second, and names are called one by one
until only Jade and Ashley remain. Ashley starts crying. Everyone dies of
shock.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Eighteen full seasons of Two and a Half Men pass, and Ashley
is out. She cries, inspiring all three judges to join forces and laser-eyes.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfHu0xC0dLcwZeIBkoCkYWEuqdkoVUM9JJOJ50-prD9XMTvQWW9WxwLAxzZGfJRqNtJxZ0e7q_jCenEqvyGialc-gy7w-Ttm6_oGZ0XyAKvZ4rv-IHIkkEnCbYCbpffONF4aMZ8w/s1600/ANTM8.8+laser+eyes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfHu0xC0dLcwZeIBkoCkYWEuqdkoVUM9JJOJ50-prD9XMTvQWW9WxwLAxzZGfJRqNtJxZ0e7q_jCenEqvyGialc-gy7w-Ttm6_oGZ0XyAKvZ4rv-IHIkkEnCbYCbpffONF4aMZ8w/s400/ANTM8.8+laser+eyes.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">PEW PEW</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1AuHtUf8bWDgCBqVA7zElZGFpbPaTvnontMN_JEpvQqxlD66Ms82utpS2JG6831EUc1Lw-ELFwrG33yGtZ3ZvipLuJ8FdkTYNDApxEVc-p5E3H0Ub5nHReqy_bY-CGpO_W08EDA/s1600/ANTM8.8+Head+Asplode.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1AuHtUf8bWDgCBqVA7zElZGFpbPaTvnontMN_JEpvQqxlD66Ms82utpS2JG6831EUc1Lw-ELFwrG33yGtZ3ZvipLuJ8FdkTYNDApxEVc-p5E3H0Ub5nHReqy_bY-CGpO_W08EDA/s400/ANTM8.8+Head+Asplode.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">BEW HEW</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Bye, Ashley. You’re gorgeous, even when you’re being strangled with a migraine and appendicitis.
Any last words?</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQsE6NOptzcFHswy9YUSx3SkEmJ_w37y56uOZf1FhR86GTTBYGdQqmvTyUH8w_-Vcq_uLyTUw8Q6r6VdFotoWTFHNwDH7ULevc5gkeHqFJtXMNwUlC77ufZ4oUhyphenhyphenzBXuKOnA-CPQ/s1600/ANTM8.8+Ashley+last+words.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQsE6NOptzcFHswy9YUSx3SkEmJ_w37y56uOZf1FhR86GTTBYGdQqmvTyUH8w_-Vcq_uLyTUw8Q6r6VdFotoWTFHNwDH7ULevc5gkeHqFJtXMNwUlC77ufZ4oUhyphenhyphenzBXuKOnA-CPQ/s400/ANTM8.8+Ashley+last+words.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Exactly.</span></div>
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Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-7276585303759106942013-08-20T20:38:00.001+10:002013-08-20T20:38:52.842+10:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Eight #7<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Previously on Australia’s Next Top Model: Strangles. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This week on Australia’s Next Top Model: Oral fixation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s all about lipstick, teeth, and smiling, as we discover
how difficult it is to get simple things right like laughing, waiting in office
reception and walking in a straight line.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Floss your gaps and massage your gums, it’s the ‘You Took
The Scrag Right Out Of My Mouth’ episode of <i>Australia’s
Next Top Model.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rinse and spit.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">***</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Housekeeping<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’m not sure any other catchphrase can catch up to ‘Oh my
god’ at this point, but as we’re now in the second half of the series, I’m
expecting ‘I really want this’ to gallop home quite robustly in second place,
or for at least as long as Shannon’s in the competition. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxqb84M1R0hlJTapSNZy_99ZTETZLtoTM9EaoBPsIWBoROUSUHFU6wlVxbVjnXjrOF8j_vUZT7K1gCZC1rac_fKy8SZP_c9CB7t5JcLx4y5B-pkXQt6NTI0Ed9P2iKiR2sRIh-aw/s1600/ANTM8.7+Catchphrase+log.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="287" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxqb84M1R0hlJTapSNZy_99ZTETZLtoTM9EaoBPsIWBoROUSUHFU6wlVxbVjnXjrOF8j_vUZT7K1gCZC1rac_fKy8SZP_c9CB7t5JcLx4y5B-pkXQt6NTI0Ed9P2iKiR2sRIh-aw/s400/ANTM8.7+Catchphrase+log.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Still, though. Someone needs to steal someone’s cigarettes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Additionally, it has come to my attention that Abbie makes
this face every single time she talks directly to the camera. I give you: Abbie
Face.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5ndX20kR4Z2MZreMbxTXE_kRG-7ggX5jbCvVOnmdN-Tp0EUDxn2vTkf1GbkoRyv6lD2sTo6lmW-b_SuwS2j31gAQ1_uGlDbI3lR3PhlnkLdU7YRMWZOz49RPpaai_wZ6PevtH1A/s1600/ANTM8.7+Abbie+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5ndX20kR4Z2MZreMbxTXE_kRG-7ggX5jbCvVOnmdN-Tp0EUDxn2vTkf1GbkoRyv6lD2sTo6lmW-b_SuwS2j31gAQ1_uGlDbI3lR3PhlnkLdU7YRMWZOz49RPpaai_wZ6PevtH1A/s400/ANTM8.7+Abbie+face.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I think she's searching the ceiling for university degrees.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Finally, we all deal with the violent elephant in the room:
Taylah’s disqualification and departure. She left a note in the kitchen, full
of tear-jerking sentiment and sage advice. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlV420zh5eJWJBF5j5h-nAIxO0APXvkPLUOI9A_Z6QGk_ZPP9TYEeOQrFzYulZcjLRkP-xQHf64gXZyFxM1IxlHaM4P0v9cQ6TdAqPcL5KSoYELJ3OyPxSBuTEla6yx8p2ypLLUg/s1600/ANTM8.7+Taylah+note.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlV420zh5eJWJBF5j5h-nAIxO0APXvkPLUOI9A_Z6QGk_ZPP9TYEeOQrFzYulZcjLRkP-xQHf64gXZyFxM1IxlHaM4P0v9cQ6TdAqPcL5KSoYELJ3OyPxSBuTEla6yx8p2ypLLUg/s400/ANTM8.7+Taylah+note.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Totally legit screen shot.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ashley is a little upset (which we’ve really had a chance to
get used to by now), but still agrees that ousting Taylah was the right thing
to do, “otherwise it would’ve shown Australia that it’s okay to put your hands
on someone”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I think that’s an important message.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivAZ8OvjPRLH-HyacW34vlC5EKe8QDwfMbknKiq2mzufLi1nZoW-SZh0mi9iW99DtQM_APxq7in9BlUB9TTQ11UKT5PIfOgvzl2eEk_Vd3-anMV7hhy8WRVfZwu7AridqPb4q54g/s1600/ANTM8.7+Hands+on+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivAZ8OvjPRLH-HyacW34vlC5EKe8QDwfMbknKiq2mzufLi1nZoW-SZh0mi9iW99DtQM_APxq7in9BlUB9TTQ11UKT5PIfOgvzl2eEk_Vd3-anMV7hhy8WRVfZwu7AridqPb4q54g/s400/ANTM8.7+Hands+on+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD3d8CsKUKveHePWOKf95a01-YqKgfo12Wz3C4h8nSx27B0T8aYmnIEaLLLRa3Oq_Cfj6XTz6bgGAYj-6iE5tEFsUAO0AOnmWhmZvwWstfCHIVk5KWTDYa6dDU9pssTbX0yYTIXQ/s1600/ANTM8.7+Hands+on+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD3d8CsKUKveHePWOKf95a01-YqKgfo12Wz3C4h8nSx27B0T8aYmnIEaLLLRa3Oq_Cfj6XTz6bgGAYj-6iE5tEFsUAO0AOnmWhmZvwWstfCHIVk5KWTDYa6dDU9pssTbX0yYTIXQ/s400/ANTM8.7+Hands+on+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDsOBWEE-xyFz89YuV_5vjCNMrPBRCmWupSZVIAs09S39jv-pvk5CUS5QrWoEJ_KQXKIgZz5rT8srUamDtWOh5kFTzX5eeaesTBiScvuKq4vvYV17ipq6TLUu3JWYsXfXgxB2HdA/s1600/ANTM8.7+Hands+on+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDsOBWEE-xyFz89YuV_5vjCNMrPBRCmWupSZVIAs09S39jv-pvk5CUS5QrWoEJ_KQXKIgZz5rT8srUamDtWOh5kFTzX5eeaesTBiScvuKq4vvYV17ipq6TLUu3JWYsXfXgxB2HdA/s400/ANTM8.7+Hands+on+3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ixnay on the ouchingtay.</td></tr>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Learnment</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Screamin’ J. Hawkins whisks the girls off to the offices of
Manning Cartell to meet designer Gabby for a crash course in walking up and
down a hallway. Shannon approaches the lesson in her characteristically
determined way, enthusing “I absolutely adore Manning Cartell – such an
eclectic style of clothing. Very unique”. </span></div>
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<i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eclectic</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">?
Check YOU out, trophy-winner.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ1TIOpDUGUGaZGJhPH4nHNb9o6yhw0efLKL18cuZDrUu0SoMtl85Q3RQtEFEGD9ZwgROQ_aynJc2xPVQA6CrpWufU7sIwTaTKwF6h8wF0KNLdBc2z7_YH7LQLrRENFpYgbH6i4A/s1600/ANTM8.7+Big+words+trophy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ1TIOpDUGUGaZGJhPH4nHNb9o6yhw0efLKL18cuZDrUu0SoMtl85Q3RQtEFEGD9ZwgROQ_aynJc2xPVQA6CrpWufU7sIwTaTKwF6h8wF0KNLdBc2z7_YH7LQLrRENFpYgbH6i4A/s400/ANTM8.7+Big+words+trophy.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Indubitably an apical endowment.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali is outrageously excited, gushing “I’ve been sewing
since I was in year 5 and I’ve wanted to get into fashion since I can
remember”. Sweetie, it’s easy to get into fashion – there’s like, holes at the
top and the bottom that let you do that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Each girl has a turn clomping the hallway, with various
degrees of success. Ashley has a weird stiff right hand. Melissa decides that
the best thing she can do is “stand up straight and don’t fall over”, advice
which has certainly helped me in my own life and career. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Abbie, keen to make walking a large part of her life,
apparently swings her hips too much. Screamin’ J. Hawkins comments to Gabby “I
keep looking at her butt. It’s very distracting”. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">UM, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">DID THAT JUST HAPPEN? DID YOU JUST CREATE THE UNBEATABLE AND
ONE HUNDRED PERCENT PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO REMEMBER THIS DISTRACTING BUTT
REFERENCE, JENNIFER HAWKINS?</span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/pMHAmzpmulE?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let she who is without distracting butt cast the first butt.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shannon approaches the lesson with customary determination,
and I imagine psychs herself into it Tracy Flick style.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYRXdR0RPpfMaAJf2QVQTFjoV_rPoEj-CgIb__kl-3epo5Io5ulHBAEM7OamrwmkCpR-1kOiMja0tBFQXQW5kMhq7LCDjBawl6JveSoQm2mMsTxR4vnCyEXt7VTWMndMKtaIzYjA/s1600/ANTM8.7+Tracy+Flick+dont+say+shit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYRXdR0RPpfMaAJf2QVQTFjoV_rPoEj-CgIb__kl-3epo5Io5ulHBAEM7OamrwmkCpR-1kOiMja0tBFQXQW5kMhq7LCDjBawl6JveSoQm2mMsTxR4vnCyEXt7VTWMndMKtaIzYjA/s400/ANTM8.7+Tracy+Flick+dont+say+shit.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then Shannon says ‘shit’. Oh, well.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Gabby tells the modules that walking is one thing, but being
able to showcase a designer’s clothes is another. So let’s do this whole
shebang again, but in DIFFERENT CLOTHES! Whaddaya reckon?</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSUTf9Ty_NFVk6eRUHiXuZtStlcATIRzvSJEjZQi9UyqRuKOGKZfAXiQGiTFF_74qAHdQKMIeZHi4ROkZmw7Dhe4pVlEhT3J9kLrarmlDcvSbC2cVwKqz6DZesBhFYd5yATKqYOA/s1600/ANTM8.7+Reactions.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSUTf9Ty_NFVk6eRUHiXuZtStlcATIRzvSJEjZQi9UyqRuKOGKZfAXiQGiTFF_74qAHdQKMIeZHi4ROkZmw7Dhe4pVlEhT3J9kLrarmlDcvSbC2cVwKqz6DZesBhFYd5yATKqYOA/s400/ANTM8.7+Reactions.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Gabby gives them a brief, which is to be a “really tough,
strong girl”. Reckon you can do that, Shannon?</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJZYnToINJd1OxRV75OgNhcZ6R-wkmggM4hghVlI70Ifcq08VIcu9uF3qNtuYBXt0Etf7bafxiXbsQMfYYVPoQ12lS4RlF66S-NHN7kUSmUObjaPZuwaBhYdYIVX0j9KWo7F_P1w/s1600/ANTM8.7+Shannon+not+let+you+down.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJZYnToINJd1OxRV75OgNhcZ6R-wkmggM4hghVlI70Ifcq08VIcu9uF3qNtuYBXt0Etf7bafxiXbsQMfYYVPoQ12lS4RlF66S-NHN7kUSmUObjaPZuwaBhYdYIVX0j9KWo7F_P1w/s400/ANTM8.7+Shannon+not+let+you+down.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maddy Banana Paddy has done a little bit of catwalk before
but ‘nothing major’, but it’s fine because walking down the aisle at our
wedding will be a lot like a catwalk, so she can totally practice then.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When Duckie walks a second time, Jen comments that it’s
“Less funky, I have to say”, which is a DISASTER.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7y6Doa-H5HutO5f92jFvSqjgmZlxIvzNHMm6vc98f2K_aDBBBWWNgVxelNzrUccqlhABKXmycKJ0kO8bFLf6lWUKXsZUQ7Dn9JTN0IlfhB-CjV4FxsYlT6tuTU7j77SIIHU5aNg/s1600/ANTM8.7+Duckie+pre+funky.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7y6Doa-H5HutO5f92jFvSqjgmZlxIvzNHMm6vc98f2K_aDBBBWWNgVxelNzrUccqlhABKXmycKJ0kO8bFLf6lWUKXsZUQ7Dn9JTN0IlfhB-CjV4FxsYlT6tuTU7j77SIIHU5aNg/s400/ANTM8.7+Duckie+pre+funky.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She’ll <i>never</i> get a
cameo in a George Michael music video if she’s only reaching sub-par funky
levels. Help us out, Bootsy Collins?</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRG_r6NbX8KmRl1mnJIXhl39S_jyqJUrTcaghDBhtu_a6TNPIaVhtJ9Nk8s7RYsIavU_M8DSNyLA3x5tY069BUP6_ky5H4XZ7votHAl-xT2S3T_w_4MbD9SwpmY8Irc-xj9WwA-w/s1600/ANTM8.7+Duckie+post+funky.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRG_r6NbX8KmRl1mnJIXhl39S_jyqJUrTcaghDBhtu_a6TNPIaVhtJ9Nk8s7RYsIavU_M8DSNyLA3x5tY069BUP6_ky5H4XZ7votHAl-xT2S3T_w_4MbD9SwpmY8Irc-xj9WwA-w/s400/ANTM8.7+Duckie+post+funky.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Much better.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dajana has a ‘signature walk’. Ashley has a ‘signature
spastic hand’. Melissa Sevenhead has a ‘signature nodding sevenhead’. Shanali
has ‘signature perfection’. Jade reportedly doesn’t have ‘enough presence’.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQdihedMla9Np4C58skPNWqLUmG32lkXhbsS2JgjehGLGMLD1kNPJFBWsgZMYquxzvvjaDWdFkU8x7n_8PylnXZQ1j2y4bQ6Pjf4VtJqQ_ZlHRQuCQ1Qgjlzrry5k5m5uZw9x7zw/s1600/ANTM8.7+Jade+pre+presents.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQdihedMla9Np4C58skPNWqLUmG32lkXhbsS2JgjehGLGMLD1kNPJFBWsgZMYquxzvvjaDWdFkU8x7n_8PylnXZQ1j2y4bQ6Pjf4VtJqQ_ZlHRQuCQ1Qgjlzrry5k5m5uZw9x7zw/s400/ANTM8.7+Jade+pre+presents.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sort Jade out, Santa?</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8NPdYxoEHURzlu9iWj3aUSAt9A5wFTdTI1e4eoRCU3qnxeXElNMi6HR4TU3nGz6D1PWUohVhBd7Tm1ZKWJq22BfYi6egK8zoQL8nwdNmoA7UwQU7PM7VGNG-8ybOl2Bwzw32B3w/s1600/ANTM8.7+Jade+post+presents.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8NPdYxoEHURzlu9iWj3aUSAt9A5wFTdTI1e4eoRCU3qnxeXElNMi6HR4TU3nGz6D1PWUohVhBd7Tm1ZKWJq22BfYi6egK8zoQL8nwdNmoA7UwQU7PM7VGNG-8ybOl2Bwzw32B3w/s400/ANTM8.7+Jade+post+presents.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Homophones, LOL.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Abbie and Shanali are declared the best, and Screamin’ J. Hawkins
leaves the scrags with instructions to ‘practice, practice, practice’, which
they dutifully do back at the Module Mansion. Ashley gets upset when the girls,
still on a high from making comments about everybody’s walk equally, make
comments about her walk. She blurts out “I don’t care if you’re trying to help
me out, but laughing at me while I’m walking, that’s a bit rude”. She storms
off and has a bit of a cry, which is something we’re really getting used to,
but honestly, once you’ve been ostracised in Thailand, hospitalised with
appendicitis, and strangled in the outback, can you maybe find a way to deal?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Later, on Model Cam (just like a regular cam, only thinner
and stupider) Ashley moans that the longer she’s here, the less confident she
is, and that she sucks at all the challenges and can’t do anything right. In a
surprise tantamount to walking into a Liberal Party meeting and finding a bunch
of douchebags sitting around a table, she has a little cry.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Come on, Ashley. Show me that smile again. Don’t waste
another minute on your crying. Also: Robin Thicke’s dad. </span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/0S2EpH5sFyk?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Aaaah, fundamentalist
Christianity and eating disorders – the twin cornerstones of childhood stardom.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Challenged.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lounging around the house, the modules set to work earning
Oscar nominations and NIDA graduating certificates when a Jen Mail arrives and
they all act surprised. The message is a little bit about rhyming badly, and a
little bit about ‘first impressions’ and ‘pearly whites’, prompting the girls
to have the completely unscripted idea of putting on some red lipstick to make
their teeth stand out.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was previously unaware of this beauty secret, but I’m sure it works
in one hundred percent of cases.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8ys9Qaln3B6qHi1MnsfZyeTlUqiMO3BHpa_5N9E6vXVLx-17FUHpA_J1Y4ZSRNGMgSZrnuQ7TaTbjANsajKmvbJ8qMp-ohdh4mnncoG1CwxPZSLq-B5050zyUwSoT5FFSrEvcFw/s1600/ANTM8.7+Joker+lipstick3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8ys9Qaln3B6qHi1MnsfZyeTlUqiMO3BHpa_5N9E6vXVLx-17FUHpA_J1Y4ZSRNGMgSZrnuQ7TaTbjANsajKmvbJ8qMp-ohdh4mnncoG1CwxPZSLq-B5050zyUwSoT5FFSrEvcFw/s400/ANTM8.7+Joker+lipstick3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He's dead now, y'know.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shiny Alex Perry meets the girls on a hill in a tablecloth, and
announces that this week, they’ll be vying for a massive national advertising
campaign. OH MY GOD ALEX PERRY, DON’T TALK TO ASHLEY LIKE THAT IT HURTS HER
FEELINGS.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He goes on to say that the winner of the challenge will
become the face of Colgate Optic White. </span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTusT_Cnp4VWP2KWqOZVy4z_IAfnzQ8WySml1-7_ul4CIXW9XTELCdmVxQraFi5DACEu7BzgpfMY-k0uQYbTRtqic_GYVWKd8M2xZTc3ahtQ0hxrWzmeG5Gij02HMBygI5x8WOFw/s1600/ANTM8.7+Duckie+OPTIC+what+now.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTusT_Cnp4VWP2KWqOZVy4z_IAfnzQ8WySml1-7_ul4CIXW9XTELCdmVxQraFi5DACEu7BzgpfMY-k0uQYbTRtqic_GYVWKd8M2xZTc3ahtQ0hxrWzmeG5Gij02HMBygI5x8WOFw/s400/ANTM8.7+Duckie+OPTIC+what+now.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So… I guess…</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTSLoCcgvIXt7wJoJRo5YzVjhxXZwMl4AwyLInVI6sUZ3bdzw5cobkNaQGcCGce0wR_X-1-F0JzwWecJ4tBXhW_xr-kvcaulcR03ne7SSDflMh6VRUPGqUqMDz3pRZWEKupiC_Ow/s1600/thats-racist3.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTSLoCcgvIXt7wJoJRo5YzVjhxXZwMl4AwyLInVI6sUZ3bdzw5cobkNaQGcCGce0wR_X-1-F0JzwWecJ4tBXhW_xr-kvcaulcR03ne7SSDflMh6VRUPGqUqMDz3pRZWEKupiC_Ow/s400/thats-racist3.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's really not, Adamant Little Guy, I just didn't know where else to put you.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Each girl will go to a casting at an advertising agency.
What the scrags <i>don’t</i> know is that
there are hidden cameras EVERYWHERE, including at reception and in the lift. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wait. Are… are there cameras in <i>all</i> lifts usually? Because if there are, I… I was just scratching
it, I swear. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The modules will be judged as soon as they enter the
building, and thrown off their game by the world’s meanest receptionist and the
local community theatre company’s worst actress.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the actual casting upstairs with two suit guys, the aim is to
smile happily. This, however, is not the result in reception.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mean Receptionist asks Dajana if she has a lazy eye. Does
that make Dajana smile happily? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7WQk4KoDp-0oDQMo2oiWpi6aMoRLkaBuoRJS4Xj42jvMgZZYLr5e3-KZHRlRWfEY50BI4EGy2dd0poHYFYmq9DhCv78nuWnQybeoZ7clEkpzjr3NFv6W-BwMbspY1jhzcjnqp1w/s1600/ANTM8.7+Dajana+excuse+me+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7WQk4KoDp-0oDQMo2oiWpi6aMoRLkaBuoRJS4Xj42jvMgZZYLr5e3-KZHRlRWfEY50BI4EGy2dd0poHYFYmq9DhCv78nuWnQybeoZ7clEkpzjr3NFv6W-BwMbspY1jhzcjnqp1w/s400/ANTM8.7+Dajana+excuse+me+face.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No. No, it does not.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Careful, Mean Receptionist. Stereotypical ethnic profiling
means you better watch your back, yo.</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3kAwiAgGKWmkoTYOQNV0svKZvDKlELQywWbplameZV9jRAezKfXreUdBUwidG5e7TTLMj33N6d2No-6FmiY5aDel_Ro7NK9kcMeFA0PmIQ1PvTCGm7UdJ5d3DOh675guF2BswPg/s1600/ANTM8.7+Dajana+Fullee+bash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3kAwiAgGKWmkoTYOQNV0svKZvDKlELQywWbplameZV9jRAezKfXreUdBUwidG5e7TTLMj33N6d2No-6FmiY5aDel_Ro7NK9kcMeFA0PmIQ1PvTCGm7UdJ5d3DOh675guF2BswPg/s400/ANTM8.7+Dajana+Fullee+bash.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Also I think I see the lazy eye now.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bad Actress asks Maddy Banana Paddy to hold a vase of
flowers. Oh, the diabolical cruelty, etc.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bad Actress falls asleep on Jade, who suggests that she ask
if there’s a bed in the office, because sassy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mean Receptionist asks Duckie to say ‘quack’, and she
reflects later to camera “I get duck jokes all the time. Like ‘quack’. ‘Duck’.
‘Ducklings’.” Wow. Those sure are some amazing duck jokes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRU9Wr89lqPEMaNlK8nGUYpdWxyf8AUInnKg4q9j4SyFLvYlWhDMe4Qk6btEla_4RT_m8m0Prb0dQvgHRKQ9vwusVJ3AB_XyWOtTmz_KbD_LAlN6rKL0TkpfazHaSqv0fxIo2dSw/s1600/ANTM8.7+tumbleweed2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRU9Wr89lqPEMaNlK8nGUYpdWxyf8AUInnKg4q9j4SyFLvYlWhDMe4Qk6btEla_4RT_m8m0Prb0dQvgHRKQ9vwusVJ3AB_XyWOtTmz_KbD_LAlN6rKL0TkpfazHaSqv0fxIo2dSw/s400/ANTM8.7+tumbleweed2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You can't tell from here, but that tumbleweed is cacking itself.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bad Actress ‘mistakes’ Melissa for an ‘intern’ and gets
‘cross’. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bad Actress talks to Shanali through a gnome. I pop that on
the shortlist for Sentence Of The Year. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bad Actress spills water on Abbie, who offers to get her
more water. I kind of love Abbie this week, without impinging on my marriage
plans with Maddy Banana Paddy or my Besties 4 Lyf plans with Shanali. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ashley doesn’t cry the whole time she’s at the agency, which
is her highest achievement in the competition so far. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mean Receptionist doesn’t even acknowledge Shannon. Shannon <i>loves</i> not being acknowledged. It’s like
telling Auguste Rodin you’ve seen better hands on a digital watch or, for the
lowbrow amongst you, like asking Robin Thicke to mind your shopping while you show
him a thing or two about objectifying semi-naked ladies. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">By the time Mean Receptionist comments that he thinks Shannon’s
blouse might be a bit dirty, you can pretty much see her sphincter trying to
make its way out of her eye sockets.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWWSiUjBnU1Le6WcWgW6A7slxlewsbrqe0g_tBquW4G_N61GavDMOTMpAvZBVSpN7ZS2KMgtJPxw8VcTrb7P2kIGTor0jFNlmiMF6KSlPfM8M3B0z4dUSONeg5tdSuQ2iVHITp9w/s1600/ANTM8.7+Shannon+sphincter+tightening2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="322" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWWSiUjBnU1Le6WcWgW6A7slxlewsbrqe0g_tBquW4G_N61GavDMOTMpAvZBVSpN7ZS2KMgtJPxw8VcTrb7P2kIGTor0jFNlmiMF6KSlPfM8M3B0z4dUSONeg5tdSuQ2iVHITp9w/s400/ANTM8.7+Shannon+sphincter+tightening2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCePhzv4oQQoLeRqp1PfkNAaZ3SpgOIHTKgEUnPrzRcAxk8pKWdLGIf91Yxf3eM3lIG2IrH-YHkKGBEFWoKgiVF0wpFFU7njCCQ23_o2mTEzK4M6kAIPLezPpy7EO4Vg193Tx5vQ/s1600/ANTM8.7+Shannon+sphincter+tightening.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCePhzv4oQQoLeRqp1PfkNAaZ3SpgOIHTKgEUnPrzRcAxk8pKWdLGIf91Yxf3eM3lIG2IrH-YHkKGBEFWoKgiVF0wpFFU7njCCQ23_o2mTEzK4M6kAIPLezPpy7EO4Vg193Tx5vQ/s400/ANTM8.7+Shannon+sphincter+tightening.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhart0WfVSRvC_ZXvSuzSjm6HBBt4MqtafRLbZWemlOPuO-sRYiCB8MOOqXjXprp-FYmvEQYKJk-_P3TYSWGQgRKmUMZPFpXSomNaPlIzwnHxn2PZaA6-qxV4DDTqgeyV_khJTbrQ/s1600/ANTM8.7+Shannon+sphincter+tightening3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhart0WfVSRvC_ZXvSuzSjm6HBBt4MqtafRLbZWemlOPuO-sRYiCB8MOOqXjXprp-FYmvEQYKJk-_P3TYSWGQgRKmUMZPFpXSomNaPlIzwnHxn2PZaA6-qxV4DDTqgeyV_khJTbrQ/s400/ANTM8.7+Shannon+sphincter+tightening3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Di-en't.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Most of the girls do really well in the five smiling shots
they get, making the decision tough for Shiny Alex Perry and Advertising Agency
Suit Guys. Shiny Alex Perry says “Some girls really delivered in the photo
shoot and in the interview, and some girls really delivered downstairs”.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yoooouuuuu might wanna rephrase that, buddy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHeqDU9iFPLPfHq1J-mFLwWe4Zw6bLQ8WVLQW_W1EcMJyIUpSHLv-JJGktJ7lBVkVTz5gBRDKODN6mCZUSytHocvWs57P6t5uzeFLvvbs_JJiztODkg8K6E_spIZ-27H-iCku2Hg/s1600/ANTM8.7+tumbleweed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHeqDU9iFPLPfHq1J-mFLwWe4Zw6bLQ8WVLQW_W1EcMJyIUpSHLv-JJGktJ7lBVkVTz5gBRDKODN6mCZUSytHocvWs57P6t5uzeFLvvbs_JJiztODkg8K6E_spIZ-27H-iCku2Hg/s400/ANTM8.7+tumbleweed.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You can't tell from here, but that tumbleweed is calling the police.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The modules gather, waiting to hear who has won the
campaign, and Shannon reminds us once again that she wants this SO. BADLY. A
guy from an as yet undiscovered tribe in the Andaman Islands stops repairing
his fishing net for a moment, looks up, and says “we get it, dude”. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Probably just to disappoint Dajana, Jade excitedly wins.
“Eight weeks ago I was just chillin’ in Blacktown, waitin’ for uni to start,
and now I’m the new face of Colgate Optic White! Frikkin’ awesome”, she says,
instantly earning her </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">degree.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSbEXLrvc1y-By4FZKFuqW8Y2N04aR-dcNeOEHhBi9w0lmAivtSgOki4qG3o1Ex6qRvb48FOTTJ4_CktbNDZlpauSuHF_3WvCH8IvUxjPfllnmxxhRH_shbvnkMhzjnZNvdoWaNQ/s1600/ANTM8.7+Jade+degree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSbEXLrvc1y-By4FZKFuqW8Y2N04aR-dcNeOEHhBi9w0lmAivtSgOki4qG3o1Ex6qRvb48FOTTJ4_CktbNDZlpauSuHF_3WvCH8IvUxjPfllnmxxhRH_shbvnkMhzjnZNvdoWaNQ/s400/ANTM8.7+Jade+degree.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dajana is disappointed, but as a direct and vicious attack
upon Ashley, doesn’t cry. What a bitch.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Phoy-Toys<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">BOOM, and we’re back from the break to hear about the
prizes, which I think this year include a year’s supply of body glitter and a
kilo of heart-smart beef mince.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then we scurry upstairs at the Hilton to the Zeta Bar
balcony for a glamorous, expensive, smiling photo shoot. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’ve been photographed at the Zeta Bar balcony before. I,
too, was going for glamorous, expensive and smiling.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEpMFKjbmO_IyWljG6vT6EpRADzcmSr8_3BKrshDaPfGE63kSBP_HOUUkSDgdOpyIRKzqqVAw6FwZG6vorBQ-gbJD3yCXBCMiAFf-QElB0zyu2icePGqakloPPhrpyemcTE9EFWA/s1600/52+Pickup+Zeta+120610+011.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEpMFKjbmO_IyWljG6vT6EpRADzcmSr8_3BKrshDaPfGE63kSBP_HOUUkSDgdOpyIRKzqqVAw6FwZG6vorBQ-gbJD3yCXBCMiAFf-QElB0zyu2icePGqakloPPhrpyemcTE9EFWA/s400/52+Pickup+Zeta+120610+011.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Unfortunately there seems to be a drunk homeless biker in the way.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawso gees up the scrags for their shoot by introducing
photographer Simon Upton who, even in that nasty driving cap, I would do fifty
ways from Tuesday. He’s tall and he presents multiple opportunities for jokes
about apertures, so there is nothing to not love.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawso and Simon talk about natural smiles and sophisticated
glamour, and Simon, in between asking loads of people for my phone number, says
“you’d be really surprised how many models don’t know how to smile properly’. Still, with this
incredible styling, these ridiculously gorgeous dresses, and a one in nine
chance of winning some beef mince, WHAT HAVE THEY GOT TO BE HAPPY ABOUT,
I ASK YOU.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jade is pumped, saying “I’m pumped. We get to smile on set.
I really like smiling, so it’s gonna be fun”. She likes smiling? What a
friggin’ psycho.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ashley prefers the serious photo shoots, but vows to ‘fake
it till I make it’. She’d really, really rather be crying, though.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In fancy frocks, fake eyelashes and complicated hair, each
girl stuns the bajingo out of anyone with eyes and fake-laughs their way into
our hearts.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shannon says VERY DETERMINEDLY “We had to embody confidence
and maturity. My looks are more mature than my actual age, so I thought that
would really work in my favour”. Or, option B, relaxing your lower digestive
system and enjoying yourself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Melissa Sevenhead feels like a bit of a dork laughing, and
says she doesn’t even laugh when she’s told a joke. I bet she cacks herself
every time I call her ‘Melissa Sevenhead’, though. Fuckin’ comedy, mate.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie is just bullshit amazing, Abbie is a complete goddess
in white (albeit Nullus Labius, Greek Goddess of Disappearing Top Lips),
Shanali is her usual incredible narrowness after warming up a bit, and Jade in
red lace will have one of her shots from today chosen for the Colgate campaign.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ashley, in a dress that has to be gathered in back with
bulldog clips, complains that she doesn’t like her dress and that she’s fat. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbNav3GJlclSOdB0A8bGiaeW-IIrRVYtDP81crXsJs-peja9XJYkAY7_CHcvI4LkKCRt7oiewuPt9sVo2LR5IGQmTZ4YAK3vpHCUSuqDLZZxKIZfsYrpD-sYZyION_3GJkiYfpag/s1600/ANTM8.7+Shakespeare+cry.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbNav3GJlclSOdB0A8bGiaeW-IIrRVYtDP81crXsJs-peja9XJYkAY7_CHcvI4LkKCRt7oiewuPt9sVo2LR5IGQmTZ4YAK3vpHCUSuqDLZZxKIZfsYrpD-sYZyION_3GJkiYfpag/s400/ANTM8.7+Shakespeare+cry.JPG" width="352" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Booeth fucking hooeth.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maddy Banana Paddy performs exactly the way I expect my
future platonic heterosexual life partner to perform: awkwardly, in full
make-up. Dawso and Simon are unimpressed, but they’re still totally invited to
the wedding.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dajana, who reports that she loves laughing better than
editorial, hits it out of the mother-frigging park in black sparkly lace. Her
body makes me cry, which is its only similarity to onions and my Dad telling me
he’s proud of me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eliminationosity<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We all traipse elegantly into the Eliminatorium, where
Screamin’ J. Hawkins introduces ‘majestic’ Dawso, who does this:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOb1QvSzN4fa8kCoI9tYPlVnr8q33iuzKFvAgv5emhAESNopFlIySIBMtN37HfDJ3UolvRfsRI76uj0ovZOTG4qvAObZ9fF7PhqKucM25DR-XXZIDgmln39Wn0Tb5fBbqCE2XKIQ/s1600/ANTM8.7+Dawso+majestic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOb1QvSzN4fa8kCoI9tYPlVnr8q33iuzKFvAgv5emhAESNopFlIySIBMtN37HfDJ3UolvRfsRI76uj0ovZOTG4qvAObZ9fF7PhqKucM25DR-XXZIDgmln39Wn0Tb5fBbqCE2XKIQ/s400/ANTM8.7+Dawso+majestic.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">‘Masterful’ Diddles, who does this:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiddk6tSHqxY9tPShFYn694hI3i2xW-C8lbsPJeabDzFH_d2kY3McZU-ghCiiRRjouPoVhaS6IA3idTEg1tYht_pt4bbtFDsyUHaixVezcWw8BY4yxf99rRyfh1d0tzdvieY9BgFQ/s1600/ANTM8.7+Diddles+masterful.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiddk6tSHqxY9tPShFYn694hI3i2xW-C8lbsPJeabDzFH_d2kY3McZU-ghCiiRRjouPoVhaS6IA3idTEg1tYht_pt4bbtFDsyUHaixVezcWw8BY4yxf99rRyfh1d0tzdvieY9BgFQ/s400/ANTM8.7+Diddles+masterful.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And ‘magnificent’ Shiny Alex Perry, who does this:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5QVmXWYKi_iKiMlNi0OiOlAEV08tLEgRg8oX_0n9Ba_ktlCgLmB5pM-04MmK-eHYI7vQcCSv4kzH7yT1vh8IGCmLcyhsGG-3E2EfvnJmc1_in8_Ojvgf_CvJCTZAdKtQ5hGMVWQ/s1600/ANTM8.7+SAP+magnificent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5QVmXWYKi_iKiMlNi0OiOlAEV08tLEgRg8oX_0n9Ba_ktlCgLmB5pM-04MmK-eHYI7vQcCSv4kzH7yT1vh8IGCmLcyhsGG-3E2EfvnJmc1_in8_Ojvgf_CvJCTZAdKtQ5hGMVWQ/s400/ANTM8.7+SAP+magnificent.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Because I'm making jokes about how he's a tablecloth now, keep up.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Photos are flicked through approvingly, with only a few
moy-ments:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Melissa Sevenhead’s photo is called ‘weird’
approximately nine thousand times, with Shiny Alex Perry throwing in the
phrases ‘Stepford Wife’ and ‘House of Wax’ for good measure. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->When Ashley is told that she’s young-looking,
she has a whinge about always being told she looks young and IS THERE ANYTHING
THAT DOESN’T UPSET YOU. Anything to say about that, Amazing Psychic Desk?</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdadO0pN-_GEGUoASi4HSGN0pDNDuie3SffJUQgHLVL4SEmoA4LiDdhwektg5A7al21glV3EpdQwh1Y_rVGooJOpBrgtpHIykbRw8UJwf-gAw7fdQdp3MP60cWGaugOrt6_q5slQ/s1600/ANTM8.7+Amazing+Psychic+Desk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdadO0pN-_GEGUoASi4HSGN0pDNDuie3SffJUQgHLVL4SEmoA4LiDdhwektg5A7al21glV3EpdQwh1Y_rVGooJOpBrgtpHIykbRw8UJwf-gAw7fdQdp3MP60cWGaugOrt6_q5slQ/s400/ANTM8.7+Amazing+Psychic+Desk.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yep.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">Dawso and Shiny Alex Perry have a mini
play-fight, with no strangling. All is right with the world, and the universe
returns to its usual globs-of-rock-and-gases order.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Someone quite obviously farts. By the looks of
it, it’s Jade.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRYoz-ve9jWspGEYPMh9U9WeALPdUjcg-e2wa4CT1m77JW6OKREEVcHEq-Xxupmme_UZRMDueO9ni7F7T9TYwkyGGCEButoSYd5XbO4wFMByyibeRXJjd63dBfuN-k29QfOFHg0w/s1600/ANTM8.7+Elimination+Nervous+Farts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRYoz-ve9jWspGEYPMh9U9WeALPdUjcg-e2wa4CT1m77JW6OKREEVcHEq-Xxupmme_UZRMDueO9ni7F7T9TYwkyGGCEButoSYd5XbO4wFMByyibeRXJjd63dBfuN-k29QfOFHg0w/s400/ANTM8.7+Elimination+Nervous+Farts.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She is both the face and the arse of Colgate Optic White.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Scrags go out. Judges rap. Scrags come in.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jen calls names out one by one, and Duckie gets photo of the
week because shut up it’s about smiling and she’s like, eighty-nine percent a
smiling factory. More names are picked off until only Maddy Banana Paddy and
Melissa Sevenhead remain.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I clutch the save-the-date cards for our wedding to my heart,
wondering if we can move the date forward.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And we can. Maddy is out. Take it away, tablecloth laser
eyes.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPH3T_PK8K1JYuJkh1zvGxeS89T6zaq1RaxqXoVSWyGp3LKTn3K44FnMAH35CGZc3JMgqnjCpAtaw1xsf1J8k6tQdeT4TujG1qdU7SDWnV6FxBhOWNC8YKDPKhHYrytoSDTnU3hg/s1600/ANTM8.7+Laser+Eyes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPH3T_PK8K1JYuJkh1zvGxeS89T6zaq1RaxqXoVSWyGp3LKTn3K44FnMAH35CGZc3JMgqnjCpAtaw1xsf1J8k6tQdeT4TujG1qdU7SDWnV6FxBhOWNC8YKDPKhHYrytoSDTnU3hg/s400/ANTM8.7+Laser+Eyes.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi35RqrHJQwXEoLJL4EOukNgf_FE1vjSDvJ9ajrF5s4wLyOdxpWiuxgkFgWy7Hx3gF987JvBf_cbq1F-OS8v9DNmUkgwnfyNtidYdGiIC3q_0gPjxfkURMPGwJdSqUqhgkQcUFGLQ/s1600/ANTM8.7+Head+Asplode.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi35RqrHJQwXEoLJL4EOukNgf_FE1vjSDvJ9ajrF5s4wLyOdxpWiuxgkFgWy7Hx3gF987JvBf_cbq1F-OS8v9DNmUkgwnfyNtidYdGiIC3q_0gPjxfkURMPGwJdSqUqhgkQcUFGLQ/s400/ANTM8.7+Head+Asplode.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Byyyye, Maddy Banana Paddy. You were both beautiful and shy,
and P.S. we’re registered at Liquorland. Any last words?</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbAOqJuFdNery42U7LJh612s6ENvNOf0gAVxF4wsv48SIMCdnydTiQHmcE0BXvd_-lIXQ0agCUN9O0Nk9bYsWnbMgC-LvEL2FYulUcj5A3M7TTuu115kUlKkLg7hBmQ88fwnLrZg/s1600/ANTM8.7+Maddy+last+words.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbAOqJuFdNery42U7LJh612s6ENvNOf0gAVxF4wsv48SIMCdnydTiQHmcE0BXvd_-lIXQ0agCUN9O0Nk9bYsWnbMgC-LvEL2FYulUcj5A3M7TTuu115kUlKkLg7hBmQ88fwnLrZg/s400/ANTM8.7+Maddy+last+words.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Exactly.</span></div>
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Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-17011165873733749382013-08-13T20:32:00.001+10:002013-08-13T20:32:47.170+10:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series 8 #6<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">WOW.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Even for those of you who don’t have a problem with serious
dancing errors, terrible art, and pretending to be lesbian fugitives, this
week’s episode was</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">SO. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">CONTROVERSY.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Remember, kids: the only problem violence ever solved was a previous
lack of violence. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That aside, let’s go bush!*</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">*Not a euphemism for pretending to be lesbian fugitives.**</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">**Although good euphemism for pretending to be lesbian
fugitives, huh.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Kick up some dirt and make comments about an ass’s arse,
it’s the ‘We’re The Scrags From The Bush And We’re Back In Town’ episode of <i>Australia’s Next Top Model.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Don’t strangle stuff.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Housekeeping.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">See, with totally accurate and meaningful statistical
analyses like the Catchphrase Log to see Who Will Be Reality Television’s Most
Over Used Catchphrase, a funny thing happens when somebody almost-strangles
someone else in the Australian outback. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The thing that happens is: all the phrases that aren’t “Oh
my god” pretty much lose.</span> </div>
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</div>
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</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjARxhbbNuhL18LRW0bloQS-PS33YcHevbjpgm6hb9o_a2Uu4TOL6f989CsKTaGf2aatxwIyk6GoqTtIFl7j7zQkHeEu_kUU3jRMmk4Ub-i3tQA9lbwMRT-oDNh2pSC9bw0JaIeag/s1600/ANTM8.6+Catchphrase+Log.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjARxhbbNuhL18LRW0bloQS-PS33YcHevbjpgm6hb9o_a2Uu4TOL6f989CsKTaGf2aatxwIyk6GoqTtIFl7j7zQkHeEu_kUU3jRMmk4Ub-i3tQA9lbwMRT-oDNh2pSC9bw0JaIeag/s400/ANTM8.6+Catchphrase+Log.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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</div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Early showings for ‘This is my dream’ and ‘Give it my all’
have failed so far to follow through, and the zero next to ‘The camera loves
you’ is like a personal insult.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To make myself feel better, I’ve decided to release a
country album inspired by this week’s episode, and write fictional song titles and
fictional songs to go with my fictional respect for country music.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs0wuguJ1VazzVNiC_yheyeTGoA9k1HiDr_fLta8bgvtfdmF2UIDH5ITXAHqS-Ra4DL1HYpSRZcNyBZ48azct33AycLvK2tsropQNlou9g1ZjH74MExdYQK76A_WcEmhxR_JJF6g/s1600/ANTM8.6+The+Scraggersons.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="377" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs0wuguJ1VazzVNiC_yheyeTGoA9k1HiDr_fLta8bgvtfdmF2UIDH5ITXAHqS-Ra4DL1HYpSRZcNyBZ48azct33AycLvK2tsropQNlou9g1ZjH74MExdYQK76A_WcEmhxR_JJF6g/s400/ANTM8.6+The+Scraggersons.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Available in all fictional record stores.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Also, you know how when you first saw the opening credits in
episode 2, and you were all like “Success! You’re all winners! Look at those
shiny dresses!”, and now that we’re in episode 6, you’re all just like “You’re
gone. You’re gone. You’re gone. You’re next”?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fun, isn’t it?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Learnment<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After Abbie remarks upon the gruesome but totally
predictable reality that is the double elimination by saying “The competition’s
become, like, a lot realer”, I write my first ever country hit entitled ‘You
Don’t Love Me No More Now My English Are Bads Wordings’, and then all of a
sudden we’re on a bus in the middle of fucking nowhere.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know, right. How good is this show.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s a long bus trip, and each module finds a different way
to pass the time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali looks out the window of the bus, says “Look! There’s
a kangaroo!” and then prepares to say that one thousand more times. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shannon busies herself with VERY DETERMINED READING and a
spot of teddy-strangling.***</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6h_JpzcDBfHOuEkI6JxJJeSb0On08xOnhS7raKlqJKBayrAy7s7UjkUHKR2H4Iyu8GyI0K-e5qvvfeqRss2bXSbvcoExUw1IQFgB3VTR9aNcofXvqxhVe-3AVEBm3g4EeA4xOyQ/s1600/ANTM8.6+Shannon+determined+reading.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6h_JpzcDBfHOuEkI6JxJJeSb0On08xOnhS7raKlqJKBayrAy7s7UjkUHKR2H4Iyu8GyI0K-e5qvvfeqRss2bXSbvcoExUw1IQFgB3VTR9aNcofXvqxhVe-3AVEBm3g4EeA4xOyQ/s400/ANTM8.6+Shannon+determined+reading.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">***Not a euphemism for what happens when I wear a teddy.****</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">****Although good euphemism for me wearing a teddy, huh. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ashley whiles away the hours determining who her main
competitors are, commenting that “Melissa got best photo two weeks in a row so
we’re gonna have to definitely knock her out this week”. Don’t be silly. Nobody
gets knocked out on this show. There is no violence on this show. There is no
violence. On this show.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dajana and Duckie dance in their seats alternating between
Vogueing and proper dancing, and doing considerable violence to both. Even
though there is no violence on this show.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxLq4-2pDJqU5r4OLFtoDygjR69afPvkY1apJAnA6uLz5LQ4WCjVwvWc9EFR3CAVvHXnaUqg8AOG8y-fdZ_2Dp2u3dKg7DosBq9gUDxDdDdOkKLr_lVzxxpFuv7s-DgtTK_KV_jw/s1600/ANTM8.6+Dajana+Duckie+dance+composite.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxLq4-2pDJqU5r4OLFtoDygjR69afPvkY1apJAnA6uLz5LQ4WCjVwvWc9EFR3CAVvHXnaUqg8AOG8y-fdZ_2Dp2u3dKg7DosBq9gUDxDdDdOkKLr_lVzxxpFuv7s-DgtTK_KV_jw/s400/ANTM8.6+Dajana+Duckie+dance+composite.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Um….</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikuWA7QBmrDiFaEtc_aGEQh0AwDwyxHVGW8_iRIpz_cFbrwInlpLeCx9hT9Uzg5kqQOG4x3dMDQWXcClXAsI6VS2kFIHE9ApJwWPYHQrJTqCqABrutwj3jXJi67IlDKw1fWk_CWA/s1600/thats-racist3.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikuWA7QBmrDiFaEtc_aGEQh0AwDwyxHVGW8_iRIpz_cFbrwInlpLeCx9hT9Uzg5kqQOG4x3dMDQWXcClXAsI6VS2kFIHE9ApJwWPYHQrJTqCqABrutwj3jXJi67IlDKw1fWk_CWA/s1600/thats-racist3.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah, but it's REVERSE racism, so it's okay. Nobody likes you, Adamant Little Guy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When they arrive at their destination, Broken Hill,
everybody is instantly and miraculously wearing cowboy hats and checked shirts
and saying stupid stuff.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jade says “Broken Hill is in country New South Wales, like,
western of Sydney. <i>Very </i>western. It’s famous for a few movies, I’m pretty sure?
Mad Max and um… Brokeback Mountain?”, earning her this week’s trophy:</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEQnSv9LENup8YZGUJrWYmq6p3rK6_fCiym1oUda-CSxDgLmMO8bJB7w4johUD9KBnFGOsynsRxQA4iC6k0RJwn2nNlNNNDtsJG-pFlmQ_4-c4ZQA1JHSjMP1tjJCI3U3xGHruDQ/s1600/ANTM8.6+Sweetie+No+trophy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEQnSv9LENup8YZGUJrWYmq6p3rK6_fCiym1oUda-CSxDgLmMO8bJB7w4johUD9KBnFGOsynsRxQA4iC6k0RJwn2nNlNNNDtsJG-pFlmQ_4-c4ZQA1JHSjMP1tjJCI3U3xGHruDQ/s400/ANTM8.6+Sweetie+No+trophy.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Sweetie No Trophy, For Saying Dumb Shit.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Plus I just wrote a country song called ‘Ain’t No Mountain,
Ain’t No Mountin’, because I am a genius.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ashley says “There’s a donkey here as well. Nice little
donkey, his name’s Dollar. It’s got a booty like Duckie”</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6XBeDGzDPIfD5VKawJB-X7S789Rdmwn-NEoFFdLl9JYdYGfO1ejFESRpZCBzDRjivXvilo8QgP-p63h5ZtV9P75oruWsVdf2t_Hu9DvzHwCxK9liSgKMzIxcCWCyzkpwCQbhd1w/s1600/ANTM8.6+-+Duckie+Donkey+booty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6XBeDGzDPIfD5VKawJB-X7S789Rdmwn-NEoFFdLl9JYdYGfO1ejFESRpZCBzDRjivXvilo8QgP-p63h5ZtV9P75oruWsVdf2t_Hu9DvzHwCxK9liSgKMzIxcCWCyzkpwCQbhd1w/s400/ANTM8.6+-+Duckie+Donkey+booty.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh my god, you're right.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Melissa Sevenhead says “Everyone says I look like Jessie
from Toy Story, like the cowgirl, which I don’t really understand”.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQWsLBn2GGxoXMzpEnKHadiMGVAIZ7r9PqN7li8Q7_0wx5n5rmAvBCg5UYVTCyphWHzgkT2xZn6eOgOIl5UlaLEsEZ7UxVNjqCk1E0tmeOdEMaYvooGGH_S5zECqL75skbwJDL2g/s1600/ANTM8.6+Melissa+Jessie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQWsLBn2GGxoXMzpEnKHadiMGVAIZ7r9PqN7li8Q7_0wx5n5rmAvBCg5UYVTCyphWHzgkT2xZn6eOgOIl5UlaLEsEZ7UxVNjqCk1E0tmeOdEMaYvooGGH_S5zECqL75skbwJDL2g/s400/ANTM8.6+Melissa+Jessie.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't really see it myself.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Charlotte Dusty Dawson greets the girls and introduces them
to Tim Gauci, one of Australia’s greatest line dancers. As Ashley explains:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Tim’s a lime dancer. He’s actually one of Australia’s best
lime dancers, so he’s travelled around the world and stuff doing lime dancing.
I think I’m saying it right. Lime dancing”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEQnSv9LENup8YZGUJrWYmq6p3rK6_fCiym1oUda-CSxDgLmMO8bJB7w4johUD9KBnFGOsynsRxQA4iC6k0RJwn2nNlNNNDtsJG-pFlmQ_4-c4ZQA1JHSjMP1tjJCI3U3xGHruDQ/s1600/ANTM8.6+Sweetie+No+trophy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEQnSv9LENup8YZGUJrWYmq6p3rK6_fCiym1oUda-CSxDgLmMO8bJB7w4johUD9KBnFGOsynsRxQA4iC6k0RJwn2nNlNNNDtsJG-pFlmQ_4-c4ZQA1JHSjMP1tjJCI3U3xGHruDQ/s400/ANTM8.6+Sweetie+No+trophy.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A trophy shared is a trophy mispronounced.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">See, the theme this week is ‘teamwork’, and in order to
display ‘teamwork’, the scrags will be ‘line dancing’ and I will be ‘making up
country songs’ called ‘You Show Me The Point Of This And I’ll Show You Mine’.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shannon shows a VERY DETERMINED UNDERSTANDING of teamwork by
saying intently “If you don’t take direction, you don’t get your shot, you
don’t get booked, and you’re letting down the team behind you trying to get the
shot’. </span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqgPn8H1c66KfEfxyEttE7PAJ19CcZ5iYVr-NZonrkSSYUp8bmes9xctos31XSZJGuayDaGYM4FAKR3NQsE7FzlE5aq5C6fEmetNkGpd3GfZ-J1gtDqLGEu6eh0Lw2KFKZweeTlA/s1600/ANTM8.6+Shannon+determined+line+dancing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqgPn8H1c66KfEfxyEttE7PAJ19CcZ5iYVr-NZonrkSSYUp8bmes9xctos31XSZJGuayDaGYM4FAKR3NQsE7FzlE5aq5C6fEmetNkGpd3GfZ-J1gtDqLGEu6eh0Lw2KFKZweeTlA/s400/ANTM8.6+Shannon+determined+line+dancing.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">But most of all, you're letting down Tracy Flick.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They all learn a line/lime-dancing routine and Abbie and
Ashley oh my GOD suck at it. May we move on?</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Challenged<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Before moving on, Dajana will remind us of where we are by
saying “We. Are. In. The. Middle. Of. Nowhere. And I mean like Wolfe Creek type
style like nowhere, like if you had a flat tyre you have no hope of ever
getting back to any town ever”, and I will remind us that in order to
stereotype Dajana’s cultural heritage, I pretty much just use the word ‘fullee’
a lot.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidQJpGcBH8lQnCVZePJousaFVtT2-AagREAm1h1QjCrJOxarx7eIWcwNVviWM6wiiSpbE0N0rDWr6m_jhCxFOryEQ8Q5DCkqU7BflTxU0vtw-IWABIunujORYK5_6vddDXpDg5Tw/s1600/ANTM8.6+Dajana+woop+woop+fullee.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidQJpGcBH8lQnCVZePJousaFVtT2-AagREAm1h1QjCrJOxarx7eIWcwNVviWM6wiiSpbE0N0rDWr6m_jhCxFOryEQ8Q5DCkqU7BflTxU0vtw-IWABIunujORYK5_6vddDXpDg5Tw/s400/ANTM8.6+Dajana+woop+woop+fullee.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I fullee do.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Diddles and Dawso meet the modules in an open bit of scrub
in the middle of another larger open bit of scrub, mention teamwork a bit, talk
about some artwork, introduce local artist Cathy Farry, and try not to freak
out when Ashley starts to turn into a tree.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY12E5L791DG4HFVZ-7TiYJaXjCxUwvNDpB-G1N3sl2FEFjXKL63d6572vAUrdq-sjONWQG9qb2N7xPaVkteyRlpZmDCpqzUZUgMQlFnqbnnYE3Xx8xr9O-g8J0zbPIZiJEt9msw/s1600/ANTM8.6+Ashley+as+tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY12E5L791DG4HFVZ-7TiYJaXjCxUwvNDpB-G1N3sl2FEFjXKL63d6572vAUrdq-sjONWQG9qb2N7xPaVkteyRlpZmDCpqzUZUgMQlFnqbnnYE3Xx8xr9O-g8J0zbPIZiJEt9msw/s400/ANTM8.6+Ashley+as+tree.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And you thought appendicitis was bad.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In today’s totally relevant and meaningful challenge, the
girls will work in two teams to embody the local environment in a group
artwork, using one of their team members as a model. It’s like Rosalie
Gascoigne reaching out the car window and plucking up a totally postmodern road
sign or, for the lowbrow amongst you, exactly like chucking some dirt at a board. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Everyone gets dressed in “protective” overalls, which
protect from neither paint nor physical assault, and try not to freak out when
Melissa Sevenhead also starts to turn into a tree.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_23cM4cuaNEzCVYT1R2RcHL6LCVGOH2bjhrEk_Bd3Chdi58IlI3L_dMvtAjNEqDvbY0CiTCetsFxLFjgie7_2m4EuQIJLKs6lVx4V30z1lOaWVg9o8GkXoSFbWG-f1gb88UoydQ/s1600/ANTM8.6+Melissa+turning+into+a+tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_23cM4cuaNEzCVYT1R2RcHL6LCVGOH2bjhrEk_Bd3Chdi58IlI3L_dMvtAjNEqDvbY0CiTCetsFxLFjgie7_2m4EuQIJLKs6lVx4V30z1lOaWVg9o8GkXoSFbWG-f1gb88UoydQ/s400/ANTM8.6+Melissa+turning+into+a+tree.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She needs a bigger branch because she has a larger... modelling... experience.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jade is a talented artist, but Ashley says “I’m not very
good at art. I got kicked out of every art lesson at school”. Honey, I used to
be an art teacher, and I know for a fact that you pretty much have to murder
someone and eat their entrails to get kicked out. Or, like, not know what </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">chiaroscuro</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> means or whatever.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The models pose, the modules paint, and what happens next is
OUTRAGEOUS.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dajana TOTALLY BLOWS FLIES OFF MADDY BANANA PADDY AND TELLS
HER SHE HAS GOOD BREASTS.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXKMomDGr7MlHDheswYeH8NoHYi889Jbj9UtjNrxWY1ux-rrg3mH1DyKSAamjpOXRLspv-OFek2VZw6hjL69vQ-Wv2RMjcFSaMbadWAKKjGYj1zyjDhnsyPIOCaKJ1H0pVqqCasg/s1600/ANTM8.6+Pest+control%252C+Dajana+style.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXKMomDGr7MlHDheswYeH8NoHYi889Jbj9UtjNrxWY1ux-rrg3mH1DyKSAamjpOXRLspv-OFek2VZw6hjL69vQ-Wv2RMjcFSaMbadWAKKjGYj1zyjDhnsyPIOCaKJ1H0pVqqCasg/s400/ANTM8.6+Pest+control%252C+Dajana+style.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I hope someone told <i>A Current Affair.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Unfortunately (depending on how much you like the colour
brown) we never really get to see the finished artworks, because then THE THING
HAPPENS.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, I know you probably don’t visit this blog for moral
guidance, but let’s just say that violence is bad, fun can get out of hand,
and a line has to be drawn somewhere, and otherwise I’ll just report what
happened without making any jokes about it, okay? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Except for that bit about not making any jokes about it,
okay?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After painting, the scrags get a bit excited with the paint
and Ashley starts your basic, standard-issue outback paint fight. She smears paint on Dajana
with particular enthusiasm, much to Dajana’s disgruntlement (no reason we can’t
learn words while we’re learning about life) because she’s wearing a top she
borrowed from Taylah. Ashley says “It’s only a joke, don’t take it so seriously”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">IT’S ONLY A JOKE, SEE. DON’T’ TAKE IT SO SERIOUSLY, SEE.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Taylah finds out about her ruined top and contributes quite
heavily to the ‘oh my god’ tally. Dajana reports to camera that “Taylah went
mental. I’m like, this isn’t going to end well at all”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">NOT GOING TO END WELL, SEE. AT ALL, SEE.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Taylah, with a smile on her face, says “I’m gonna fucking
strangle you”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">GONNA, SEE. STRANGLE HER, SEE.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I take a quick break to write a country/pop cross-over song
called “I Think I Wanna Strangle You”, when Taylah makes sure we’re all aware
of her intentions.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“I’m literally gonna strangle her”, she says.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">LITERALLY, SEE. STRANGLE HER, SEE.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then Taylah, completely by surprise, play-strangles Ashley.
Or does the Hokey-Pokey. I can never tell those two things apart.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJWKqx82QB7sj8qU9xRRL7tk9GhzSknzRMxL1yhF8U5XtxaAeSRXZe-saDsiiU5P3SoijLyw4sBxxz5YNfEjf3olc0p5wOmgQuuGmoSmQAzf3AxWLyFR8JmVd4vEJYGaOxDQf9ew/s1600/ANTM8.6+Strangle+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJWKqx82QB7sj8qU9xRRL7tk9GhzSknzRMxL1yhF8U5XtxaAeSRXZe-saDsiiU5P3SoijLyw4sBxxz5YNfEjf3olc0p5wOmgQuuGmoSmQAzf3AxWLyFR8JmVd4vEJYGaOxDQf9ew/s400/ANTM8.6+Strangle+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You put your left hand in...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGqWLcgMafS1pSFCDPsY923WsAR7HCkzJadh4JwFTb0Xwz2rrkzI4kW8XZ9ZzYjxQPy3v8gacixz9f2_8cKPDDwFOgXW-HLis63mWB73lHOxBdM8tix9rV754_TxFY-8uslvT2QA/s1600/ANTM8.6+Strangle+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGqWLcgMafS1pSFCDPsY923WsAR7HCkzJadh4JwFTb0Xwz2rrkzI4kW8XZ9ZzYjxQPy3v8gacixz9f2_8cKPDDwFOgXW-HLis63mWB73lHOxBdM8tix9rV754_TxFY-8uslvT2QA/s400/ANTM8.6+Strangle+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You put your left hand out...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheuXhCYdvlTVA0KyzPD8_4Ist0t49j5-tgipdR31btA6bd8FFPlaALLhWcjwYK-xV9d5NInnHw9-sXYV6pdwHtE2Urs_Ys28jO37W6oH5kTcjiPv9SvG0S27bD2KHtvKFVQVErNw/s1600/ANTM8.6+Strangle+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheuXhCYdvlTVA0KyzPD8_4Ist0t49j5-tgipdR31btA6bd8FFPlaALLhWcjwYK-xV9d5NInnHw9-sXYV6pdwHtE2Urs_Ys28jO37W6oH5kTcjiPv9SvG0S27bD2KHtvKFVQVErNw/s400/ANTM8.6+Strangle+3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You do the Hokey Pokey...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigol1nx4SXa0yDr3JJukoPRX_mr_2JkF9kiOg-qfBrnt-R8QynoXANwIocQ5mI9US9AzxEewkjE_Bu4C0aSU6tcBeSCNEa3VJY6MijzHi4nhK_qBsZKmZulHIRV6pzwxzEEpKeuw/s1600/ANTM8.6+Strangle+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigol1nx4SXa0yDr3JJukoPRX_mr_2JkF9kiOg-qfBrnt-R8QynoXANwIocQ5mI9US9AzxEewkjE_Bu4C0aSU6tcBeSCNEa3VJY6MijzHi4nhK_qBsZKmZulHIRV6pzwxzEEpKeuw/s400/ANTM8.6+Strangle+4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And you push it into a bush and make the facebook page go MENTAL.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ashley gets upset so Shannon offers her some VERY DETERMINED
COMFORT...</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiskTOD_M8YcESxM2HIrLKXoYtE7mIROoU_nm95oPA2-XwaxnwvXb8IO7dNqPav6Y-A3Q1UFjC8UEBzUBoiZMXBzZhLc0XKgfsZNO_1PmvtB8lFYA_NkDxc1XVcKCWj9X2xJ57-UQ/s1600/ANTM8.6+Shannon+determined+comforting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiskTOD_M8YcESxM2HIrLKXoYtE7mIROoU_nm95oPA2-XwaxnwvXb8IO7dNqPav6Y-A3Q1UFjC8UEBzUBoiZMXBzZhLc0XKgfsZNO_1PmvtB8lFYA_NkDxc1XVcKCWj9X2xJ57-UQ/s400/ANTM8.6+Shannon+determined+comforting.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...while Ashley snuffles that phrase we all use once or twice a day: “They
said these were meant to protect our clothes, she didn’t have to strangle me”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To sum up, let’s get the ethnic sterotype rundown from
Dajana.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7iMnEUzix6RGW0oQ2TpF4edXDO6da_us7OApUaQVDB6f-aDwJBddqJ1GP-q3G1GuN90qX-wdcogMDNuXwgvPA39aAox0nJCqS6BbzjqDlcfxiOfqnLEkRPtOKAN6VQ3cFzuU_fg/s1600/ANTM8.6+Dajana+strangle+reaction.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7iMnEUzix6RGW0oQ2TpF4edXDO6da_us7OApUaQVDB6f-aDwJBddqJ1GP-q3G1GuN90qX-wdcogMDNuXwgvPA39aAox0nJCqS6BbzjqDlcfxiOfqnLEkRPtOKAN6VQ3cFzuU_fg/s400/ANTM8.6+Dajana+strangle+reaction.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Your anatomical vocabulary is fuckin' sick, ay.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Um, what do you </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">MEAN</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">,
‘Who won the painting challenge’? Are you </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">new</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
here? <i>God</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Phoy-Toys.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To start off the phoy-toy shoot this week, I’ve written a
country song entitled ‘Let’s Put All That Nastiness Behind Us And Get Nasty’.
Diddles agrees and meets the scrags just to the left of the middle of nowhere,
where he introduces photographer Jordan Graham. Jordan Graham’s three main
skills are fashion photography, being a dude with two first names, and having a
beard on both the top and the bottom of his head. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhAr2g2ADSi7H8sDgGWGkJEbLxNry-SJEUcWtQhdh5tct2fdKVepxZYuZEC-p9GLQd-DuRNqMY4Vg_VPVUPDq16pmJ473BOHe-Z4lgAhHR8T68S_reQi_zL6Szqs7M0UpfEy793w/s1600/ANTM8.6+Jordan+Two+Beards+Graham.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhAr2g2ADSi7H8sDgGWGkJEbLxNry-SJEUcWtQhdh5tct2fdKVepxZYuZEC-p9GLQd-DuRNqMY4Vg_VPVUPDq16pmJ473BOHe-Z4lgAhHR8T68S_reQi_zL6Szqs7M0UpfEy793w/s400/ANTM8.6+Jordan+Two+Beards+Graham.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Whereas my main skill is making the same double-beard joke that I did in Series 7.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In keeping with the teamwork theme, the girls will be shot
today in pairs, as desert fugitive lesbians on the run. They’re given Thelma &
Louise as inspirational examples, so I can only suggest that after the shoot’s
over someone needs to count the bodies and burning trucks. Jade’s excited
because as we know, she loves movies about gay cowboys.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dajana describes the shoot as intense, sexy, and ‘kinda like, lesby’. I’d scoff, but I’m going to admit something right now – for the next
twenty minutes I’m pretty sure my sexuality turns right at Sapphic Avenue and
then goes straight down. It’s like rock meets dirt meets danger meets sex meets
pleather. I’m getting all flustered. Pass me some water and a penis. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hottest.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shoot.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ever.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Abbie and Duckie are
first up, lazing around on a crumpled windmill, because that’s a thing. Abbie
explodes hotness from every three-metre-long limb and anyone who didn’t get her
before probably does now or else blind. Uncharacteristically, Duckie has trouble with the
shoot, and complains a little about circulation in her legs and the endless
flies. Jordan NameName says “I need you to model that fly-swatting”. You may
laugh, but all the greats have done it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtuirz-IuCth5zwi_NFOltS0aOITd4TwUHBXtbMLoLdki9tB_A7HPdqeek7xpIUbcyrt7nrawS_pRnx-0pY479vMTfHgncvNcQCb-4FKJiCssJBKhGDul02WbowSoOZcBYJVbHkA/s1600/ANTM8.6+Modelling+through+the+flies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtuirz-IuCth5zwi_NFOltS0aOITd4TwUHBXtbMLoLdki9tB_A7HPdqeek7xpIUbcyrt7nrawS_pRnx-0pY479vMTfHgncvNcQCb-4FKJiCssJBKhGDul02WbowSoOZcBYJVbHkA/s400/ANTM8.6+Modelling+through+the+flies.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fierce.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirDAiTHMBSQMsWlqj7hf-AyuGV2OUbgeKKlzgv1fUMCObOD8WhZihlfyv5eXBDGIXfPK71qzUwxV5bPWM_u85QUdkR7fBQdwjncYT-89JOqZApAXIF-LuLJWlk8Ev3weRYdDFrvw/s1600/ANTM8.6+Modelling+through+the+flies2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirDAiTHMBSQMsWlqj7hf-AyuGV2OUbgeKKlzgv1fUMCObOD8WhZihlfyv5eXBDGIXfPK71qzUwxV5bPWM_u85QUdkR7fBQdwjncYT-89JOqZApAXIF-LuLJWlk8Ev3weRYdDFrvw/s400/ANTM8.6+Modelling+through+the+flies2.jpg" width="312" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fiercer.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNxvFClCMl6h9S0P8L00OvCZNMY29PgFEdWyjaIfPWPpjC-jETL1qquVe1Nj9UjVeZUDScDBeaLmwcowHie1trGOJdlvu8yd2c8JcpHIXqvzsgpqkw5q8bc4XbePdkXDiuKYl6ng/s1600/ANTM8.6+Modelling+through+the+flies3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNxvFClCMl6h9S0P8L00OvCZNMY29PgFEdWyjaIfPWPpjC-jETL1qquVe1Nj9UjVeZUDScDBeaLmwcowHie1trGOJdlvu8yd2c8JcpHIXqvzsgpqkw5q8bc4XbePdkXDiuKYl6ng/s400/ANTM8.6+Modelling+through+the+flies3.jpg" width="371" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fiercest.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgDjrZGenY21idkpV6wc2P3MMVk2WFqYHKlEpRToILoKEXwOtq_6TJJt525MlQ6ecXaNc5ZiQ_xuU9JJ-0tjoNiprM99XzNv-8shomjoI0PI88Xe0IYih1OdBB11s-rHPF1sKJOQ/s1600/ANTM8.4+Modelling+through+the+flies+Shakespeare.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="325" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgDjrZGenY21idkpV6wc2P3MMVk2WFqYHKlEpRToILoKEXwOtq_6TJJt525MlQ6ecXaNc5ZiQ_xuU9JJ-0tjoNiprM99XzNv-8shomjoI0PI88Xe0IYih1OdBB11s-rHPF1sKJOQ/s400/ANTM8.4+Modelling+through+the+flies+Shakespeare.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fierceth.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maddy and Jade are next, dressed as Joan Jett and Joan
Jetter. They model in and on an abandoned car, and they’ve come up with
characters for themselves. As Jade says, “We’re pretending we go round the
country and we murder bad men”. Seriously, even my couch cushions are lesbians
now. Jade absolutely nails the shoot, and once she stops worrying about
accidentally flashing a nipple (HNNNNG), so does Maddy Banana Paddy. Jordan
NameName says “Don’t worry about your ‘ladies’ – if they come out, I’ll retouch them’. Around Australia, thousands of teenage boys vow to make that their next
pickup line.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dajana, after a quick toenail removal because someone’s
already strangled someone so what’s the difference, models with a VERY
DETERMINED SHANNON. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDI2B47GdZqecP8vvqmwpITjSSGy5uy3rIIzjyHG2MqkH-lI7Nub95iOESVfHaV4N38rcig08igqJV2kRVbZUkJT38mj9oxuWrEEn-Z6oS1RYIMquN1sRAX8E0QF6f1a9IGk7GPw/s1600/ANTM8.6+Shannon+determined+lesbian.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDI2B47GdZqecP8vvqmwpITjSSGy5uy3rIIzjyHG2MqkH-lI7Nub95iOESVfHaV4N38rcig08igqJV2kRVbZUkJT38mj9oxuWrEEn-Z6oS1RYIMquN1sRAX8E0QF6f1a9IGk7GPw/s400/ANTM8.6+Shannon+determined+lesbian.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Draping themselves over a Hills Hoist, Jordan NameName asks
“Who’s the tough one and who’s the soft one?”. Before anyone can blink, Shannon
immediately says “I’M TOUGH!”. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6CUj0fE1VjIl4YIlYaK6Vb1YzTlhwqbi29V5pKf4cGuXhqJZ_ncItqiEKEa8DWUkB3Pf_r8RrWEGB_mHNABcFDv7SuQkDEHmTjP1-sd0x_t2uO0Y1ncdTA8lS8pCNY3v86OTldA/s1600/ANTM8.6+Tracy+Flick+hot+lesbian.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6CUj0fE1VjIl4YIlYaK6Vb1YzTlhwqbi29V5pKf4cGuXhqJZ_ncItqiEKEa8DWUkB3Pf_r8RrWEGB_mHNABcFDv7SuQkDEHmTjP1-sd0x_t2uO0Y1ncdTA8lS8pCNY3v86OTldA/s400/ANTM8.6+Tracy+Flick+hot+lesbian.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Diddles doubts how tough Ashley and Melissa can be,
considering their sweet demeanours, girlish looks, and the fact that both of
them turned into trees earlier. Ashley comes through with toughness in spades,
but beyond saying “I’m tough! (giggle)”, Melissa doesn’t squirt excellence all
over the screen as she usually does. Yeah, I said squirt. I’m a temporary
lesbian now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Finally it’s Shanali and Taylah’s turn, and I’M NOT EVEN
JOKING, LET’S GET MARRIED, I’LL PAY FOR THE WEDDING.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGkOoShLelSvuT9JUISZt2FHFbNz5rv77M_2jUfTyUd7JmsmsX_H0WKLnL-43hN8vFB_lG4IkFzddrK38UaI28ejLn0_tW2evAFdzgsKcsoFSZCZ4flgv8Hh2UQ8UdM7TviJ35yQ/s1600/ANTM8.6+Taylah+Shanali+shoot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGkOoShLelSvuT9JUISZt2FHFbNz5rv77M_2jUfTyUd7JmsmsX_H0WKLnL-43hN8vFB_lG4IkFzddrK38UaI28ejLn0_tW2evAFdzgsKcsoFSZCZ4flgv8Hh2UQ8UdM7TviJ35yQ/s400/ANTM8.6+Taylah+Shanali+shoot.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Seriously, it's only legislation that's stopping me at this point.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eliminationosity</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Back in the big smoke we run quickly through the prizes,
which I think this year include four wire coathangers and a cronut, then we’re stomping
into the Eliminatorium in our city clothes, ready to hear our fate. Screamin’
J. Hawkins is there in shiny black, but she neglects to introduce Dawso and
Diddles, probably because she’s so excited to see guest judge, Jez ‘Chest’
Smith, as I am.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">HIIIIIII CHEST SMITH! You are the only excuse I will accept
for missing out on the opportunity to compare Shiny Alex Perry to something
that either squints or holds picnic food this week. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Judges look through the photos with a clutch of notable
moments:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They LOVE Abbie’s shot, and call
her an ‘absolute Amazon’. So now I want vodka. Mind you, I wanted vodka back at
the strangling, so no biggie.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZa9EjQmII-mE2OIuuOnajVGURKD2nllSKeUAzUY6ANdqipcMn-YIcvHpHxCSy-kXlrVKuFtUnnhjG-Uy7h54xhGT9ALDF-08zOGmFQyfeR9TjjmBep9dyLbI1w4J9W_2I1967Vg/s1600/ANTM8.6+Absolut+Amazon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZa9EjQmII-mE2OIuuOnajVGURKD2nllSKeUAzUY6ANdqipcMn-YIcvHpHxCSy-kXlrVKuFtUnnhjG-Uy7h54xhGT9ALDF-08zOGmFQyfeR9TjjmBep9dyLbI1w4J9W_2I1967Vg/s400/ANTM8.6+Absolut+Amazon.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In moderation, yo.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawso describes Abbie and Duckie’s
shot as ‘Dude, my windmill’s collapsed and I’ve hurt my knee’, which
coincidentally is also the title of one of my bitchin’ new country songs.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shannon struts up to the desk
with her traditional determination, only to be told by Chest Smith that ‘There’s
one person in control in that picture, and it’s not you’.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDp4vynExSTMvx1W10hp6aMusMXd4JHy07CCoWmUK6s0ZPHdfAMm7_7gN7z1WAgu5LVBUskVZSiZnlMj90wBgORPVVpAhHYhcew73-zvhd6N9MeHSRRXSARw2Zk2aGQJLmqdmFPw/s1600/ANTM8.6+Shannon+sphincter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDp4vynExSTMvx1W10hp6aMusMXd4JHy07CCoWmUK6s0ZPHdfAMm7_7gN7z1WAgu5LVBUskVZSiZnlMj90wBgORPVVpAhHYhcew73-zvhd6N9MeHSRRXSARw2Zk2aGQJLmqdmFPw/s400/ANTM8.6+Shannon+sphincter.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s noted that Melissa Sevenhead
has trouble with the looking-tough thang, and Dawso sums up nicely with ‘It
happens a lot to girls with your look. You try to look tough and you look
constipated. It looks like ‘Oh god, the car’s broken down and I’m dying for a
wee’. IT’S ALWAYS THE FRIGGING TOILET WITH YOU, ISN’T IT DAWSON.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dajana is wearing too much
lipstick, Jade and Maddy Banana Paddy impress everyone, Duckie is disappointed,
Ashley is proud of herself, and then.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s time for these faces. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimKNjxuWHDpAw-cYA0BlZodTkK3BCd-rhlm40gBzqBcaOobHx5uW8w4Dc-rHbr0XEr3Rff8XBDChNdOYb3zuAku4OtNUds3Y6AbAXA0pRyxMjE2VywIjHdDLGjurRxb_KAYdGtSg/s1600/ANTM8.6+Serious+J-Hawk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimKNjxuWHDpAw-cYA0BlZodTkK3BCd-rhlm40gBzqBcaOobHx5uW8w4Dc-rHbr0XEr3Rff8XBDChNdOYb3zuAku4OtNUds3Y6AbAXA0pRyxMjE2VywIjHdDLGjurRxb_KAYdGtSg/s400/ANTM8.6+Serious+J-Hawk.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqrNkpn8QoeOeMkuIGnlrEScKRJ2YJvq0CGrDhGBuybHujzDAoDGNRgduWJ_yBlWqOJEqwsO9cm_pkVQzhJ1-wHSIdG1T5Vnsavon3535no94dTrJJn2JTu90NPwig1momZDRs9w/s1600/ANTM8.6+Serious+Dawso+&+Diddles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqrNkpn8QoeOeMkuIGnlrEScKRJ2YJvq0CGrDhGBuybHujzDAoDGNRgduWJ_yBlWqOJEqwsO9cm_pkVQzhJ1-wHSIdG1T5Vnsavon3535no94dTrJJn2JTu90NPwig1momZDRs9w/s400/ANTM8.6+Serious+Dawso+&+Diddles.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhADGPSQnRngS6ha7Gs1wO-DE0BsCsfhpcJH6dgmPkRrvjZTx6zMF-2Jo0QzYhXg2QjbEQBwUMHz4N1YN4B0c-513LjAigmNlePwUUP8OTQn9a5mZmR6DnCfXZ_nIKTIA3dMgBzKQ/s1600/ANTM8.6+Serious+Taylah.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhADGPSQnRngS6ha7Gs1wO-DE0BsCsfhpcJH6dgmPkRrvjZTx6zMF-2Jo0QzYhXg2QjbEQBwUMHz4N1YN4B0c-513LjAigmNlePwUUP8OTQn9a5mZmR6DnCfXZ_nIKTIA3dMgBzKQ/s400/ANTM8.6+Serious+Taylah.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Whaddaya reckon, Amazing Psychic
Desk?</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKj95XYRAZ0k9dyZEM0pPFsGe0tELk1OLuzRcD8jNb3omUo73DLk1grdxkFs03v_Q2BPE-IdZ23i3UnY9414EwDgfR2Na9YptEwvs2LuYblkPur8iue1VxRUF7d6RqKckWp5cn3g/s1600/ANTM8.6+Amazing+Psychic+Desk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKj95XYRAZ0k9dyZEM0pPFsGe0tELk1OLuzRcD8jNb3omUo73DLk1grdxkFs03v_Q2BPE-IdZ23i3UnY9414EwDgfR2Na9YptEwvs2LuYblkPur8iue1VxRUF7d6RqKckWp5cn3g/s400/ANTM8.6+Amazing+Psychic+Desk.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Totally, Amazing Psychic Desk.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let’s not even pretend that this
wasn’t coming. Let’s not even pretend that the subsequent pretending-it’s-between-Duckie-and-Melissa-Sevenhead-but-then-not-eliminating-anybody-else
thing fooled us for even a second.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of course, Taylah from Western
Austraylah is disqualified and eliminated.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The only thing we’re not sure of,
in Shiny Alex Perry’s absence, is where the lasers are coming from this week.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5S_jzmEHRdpGjWh6cAd0MMsOd6SnSuEaAlPDplltS70-j68n8knO8J7kXxBgRfgxckHoF6kIL8LQxhdz-Zpd0AXD1G8I7JermK8qET_3Umfu_d6jawQTcqnPaQAk9OjTELGvNow/s1600/ANTM8.6+Chest+Smith+laser+nipples.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5S_jzmEHRdpGjWh6cAd0MMsOd6SnSuEaAlPDplltS70-j68n8knO8J7kXxBgRfgxckHoF6kIL8LQxhdz-Zpd0AXD1G8I7JermK8qET_3Umfu_d6jawQTcqnPaQAk9OjTELGvNow/s400/ANTM8.6+Chest+Smith+laser+nipples.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of course! Chest Smith's Laser-Nipples.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjegV_ntfUgUGxNh5bzo6YiO0nzPD9EW_frsysOjksNnbq_HlUQGM6BPlOZsyAyxXXwHhSoTaMOfP40s7etTH5ziycKHwrG1MhzPx5TM9wQ_IFjJdu0UQFunJzdG67r2TGPQfzAbw/s1600/ANTM8.6+Head+Asplode.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjegV_ntfUgUGxNh5bzo6YiO0nzPD9EW_frsysOjksNnbq_HlUQGM6BPlOZsyAyxXXwHhSoTaMOfP40s7etTH5ziycKHwrG1MhzPx5TM9wQ_IFjJdu0UQFunJzdG67r2TGPQfzAbw/s400/ANTM8.6+Head+Asplode.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pew pew, my friends. Pew. Pew.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hey, you strangle someone, you
get kicked out. That’s just a fact of life. HEY, WAIT! That’s the name of a TV
show that ALSO has one black girl in it! Good enough for me.</span></div>
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<object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://img.youtube.com/vi/k_GxXRbSFDg/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/k_GxXRbSFDg&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/k_GxXRbSFDg&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bye, Taylah. You were an amazing
model, and if circumstances were different, you would have really killed it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To be clear, I mean 'killed it' as a
metaphor.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Either way, any last words?</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5xA9Ejsfvdqemm7UlyMNPKYSd-41ybc9DjWeh1InJTkO3XyLGDs00b7XF6Ir89VjzvHnCxwZ1_QzKRg9tS8dWUbgw99vnwXF0tHrqXgIEjnD7xoymQWJbxiYv_QpoQThg7x_99A/s1600/ANTM8.6+Taylah+last+words.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5xA9Ejsfvdqemm7UlyMNPKYSd-41ybc9DjWeh1InJTkO3XyLGDs00b7XF6Ir89VjzvHnCxwZ1_QzKRg9tS8dWUbgw99vnwXF0tHrqXgIEjnD7xoymQWJbxiYv_QpoQThg7x_99A/s400/ANTM8.6+Taylah+last+words.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Exactly.</span></div>
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Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-51926788448638873892013-08-06T20:36:00.000+10:002013-08-06T20:36:35.428+10:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Eight #5<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Everybody loves a makeover episode. If episodes were the
people you knew at school, the makeover episode would be that popular kid with
the heart of gold who always helped push any wheelchairs if there were
wheelchairs around, but was also good for bumming cigarettes at the Wednesday
night youth centre dance where you pierced that guy’s ear and got blood on your
dress and cool makeover episode kid was all like “here’s a tissue”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If anyone has a better description of a makeover episode,
I’D LIKE TO HEAR IT.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyway, set your perm and frost your tips, it’s the ‘Wash
That Scrag Right Outta My Hair’ episode of <i>Australia’s
Next Top Model.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You go, cool makeover episode kid.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">***</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Housekeeping<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’ll tell you one thing for free, you put crocodiles,
haircuts and family members all in one episode and the ‘Oh my god’ count in the
Catchphrase Log goes OFF THE FREAKIN’ SCALE. Easily beating out
second-place-getter ‘It was amazing’ so far, both reality show catchphrases
continue to lord it over ‘That bitch stole my cigarettes’ which just sits
there, lonely and unwanted, like a bitch with no cigarettes.</span> </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYTTG1ogSyRL2j-9LAdJd_egNn1I1KMrYDA0CBAvgLuRvSmAeHCprvcBFY7hGj_YTA2Fo3kWZHbmiFqUr_n23yXdF54_V5cG3XjvccrGHRI_R-RE5wY7e0xpQkCYzfrhfa3VaNcw/s1600/ANTM8.5+Catchphrase+log.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYTTG1ogSyRL2j-9LAdJd_egNn1I1KMrYDA0CBAvgLuRvSmAeHCprvcBFY7hGj_YTA2Fo3kWZHbmiFqUr_n23yXdF54_V5cG3XjvccrGHRI_R-RE5wY7e0xpQkCYzfrhfa3VaNcw/s400/ANTM8.5+Catchphrase+log.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And when ‘Oh my god’ is in the lead, ‘Oh my god face’ gets
splattered all over the joint. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaatrGqnchgqYgzup0obahiJEKQ1oALg9hQJ0dbcNyWa2ZPqpq2u6Ywj6itMSq3Nbdgy3bnPoUQRo6Ui8gabB41j09be9hD7l0kz0MiAqIge2NG0FmKJpWA72_x7OylMVGwucFSQ/s1600/ANTM8.5+Abbie+hands+to+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaatrGqnchgqYgzup0obahiJEKQ1oALg9hQJ0dbcNyWa2ZPqpq2u6Ywj6itMSq3Nbdgy3bnPoUQRo6Ui8gabB41j09be9hD7l0kz0MiAqIge2NG0FmKJpWA72_x7OylMVGwucFSQ/s400/ANTM8.5+Abbie+hands+to+face.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDm7op_4xYjGbK1q_sQEjEilhtgr70gjIDGxaZ3wvy2Ma-6TVen6F6kyD5xT1uDYB4ShPVj4w0rsts7ZBV0YSq7Ix-oRC93Bq9ZR-Qcz5eBh_1xBZzHPThS8EiLJA1tl5nlGl-Rw/s1600/ANTM8.5+Dajana+hands+to+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDm7op_4xYjGbK1q_sQEjEilhtgr70gjIDGxaZ3wvy2Ma-6TVen6F6kyD5xT1uDYB4ShPVj4w0rsts7ZBV0YSq7Ix-oRC93Bq9ZR-Qcz5eBh_1xBZzHPThS8EiLJA1tl5nlGl-Rw/s400/ANTM8.5+Dajana+hands+to+face.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKLPFI9Mj33W7NtTffXMV2mi9ljCpE-xlmH3itE90o073AuLa1Ncu3vS7aUmWZ9wymGt0bpB4SIY3E1EMj9DczUso3UOGiZI2pW2Ex-eiumkx2DteHDXGun7im_Sml8DvP8Jd8MA/s1600/ANTM8.5+Shanali+hands+to+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKLPFI9Mj33W7NtTffXMV2mi9ljCpE-xlmH3itE90o073AuLa1Ncu3vS7aUmWZ9wymGt0bpB4SIY3E1EMj9DczUso3UOGiZI2pW2Ex-eiumkx2DteHDXGun7im_Sml8DvP8Jd8MA/s400/ANTM8.5+Shanali+hands+to+face.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieueLSIslChhJx4qf_i2ZKpy2sOsDGAbggB-w4h52cQnYvzgQ8MYyH0wdkf6YUbe1SZLzK5_d08-yGfT8RgVuDZrsslK71VvInNtMvB9RVUSWen-P1n3LYRM5ovkf1a92-ASB9Ww/s1600/ANTM8.5+Brooke+hands+to+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieueLSIslChhJx4qf_i2ZKpy2sOsDGAbggB-w4h52cQnYvzgQ8MYyH0wdkf6YUbe1SZLzK5_d08-yGfT8RgVuDZrsslK71VvInNtMvB9RVUSWen-P1n3LYRM5ovkf1a92-ASB9Ww/s400/ANTM8.5+Brooke+hands+to+face.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But whatever. We’ve got sped-up sunrises to montage, Nissans
to drive in, and gross shit to touch. Let’s do that.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Learnment Challenge<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Just after the sped up sunrise and just before the Nissans,
Ashley really tells really the really camera “I’m not really fazed by Rhiannon going. I know that
sounds really really harsh, but I never really spoke to her, so I just… don’t
care really’. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And here’s a picture of Ashley not caring.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6bcohjEnEAcpocxHXQdLEfmAnPlH4KFPWKsCRsBYt1vDAVPoqCImijfhtFyB6UIJhE2Y4cWsmwsfX9p5WUF2X-9bKyLatS7Lsty8idQ_TEnq9w_R_qJYY66fnO9qO1cYqHgGTYw/s1600/ANTM8.5+Ashley+not+caring.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6bcohjEnEAcpocxHXQdLEfmAnPlH4KFPWKsCRsBYt1vDAVPoqCImijfhtFyB6UIJhE2Y4cWsmwsfX9p5WUF2X-9bKyLatS7Lsty8idQ_TEnq9w_R_qJYY66fnO9qO1cYqHgGTYw/s400/ANTM8.5+Ashley+not+caring.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ironically, she has never looked more like Rhiannon.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Suddenly Screamin’ J. Hawkins is sending the scrags a Jen
Mail from a make-up chair because shut up they don’t pre-record those and she
is a BUSY lady.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She says “Today is no walk in the park”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Which makes me think that at least some of today will
literally be a walk in the park.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then “I hope you haven’t bitten off more than you can chew”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Which makes me think that there will be teeth, and potential
chewing, and hope.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then “See ya later, alligators”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Which makes me look for stock images of people on the
internet who have not a single mosquito’s testicle of an idea what she’s
talking about.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjM0R90UlOmxWM60uHPXXARxSeww23-ev5MQQ9tYjqzdCvtoa3U_m1onj4iLoyWOP7a9vGvnVQvPdUVyGyeer1j7IRVYlicB9HzRZmVLgtkcN-IDqf2xxheTXzX5yjMUQRBAxgdw/s1600/ANTM8.5+Confused+business+lady.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjM0R90UlOmxWM60uHPXXARxSeww23-ev5MQQ9tYjqzdCvtoa3U_m1onj4iLoyWOP7a9vGvnVQvPdUVyGyeer1j7IRVYlicB9HzRZmVLgtkcN-IDqf2xxheTXzX5yjMUQRBAxgdw/s400/ANTM8.5+Confused+business+lady.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Confused business lady</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfcqGmko3iUXhC72FMxQEAaad0ZXd6OQt-VYhKDOWYhcWUdyQ1eZT8yxULMZkguUU3WGaMMHzQ3ZVmzjl8BeKNRJQgeTvBY0YDjMrOu1254_XzDvVBIaOqOlNKfw5E7a2fUemkVA/s1600/ANTM8.5+Confused+asian+lady.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfcqGmko3iUXhC72FMxQEAaad0ZXd6OQt-VYhKDOWYhcWUdyQ1eZT8yxULMZkguUU3WGaMMHzQ3ZVmzjl8BeKNRJQgeTvBY0YDjMrOu1254_XzDvVBIaOqOlNKfw5E7a2fUemkVA/s400/ANTM8.5+Confused+asian+lady.jpg" width="267" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Confused Asian business lady</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_HkLhcVHWKc-rAVR6Bp1_-OS2jdEBDt942vV-_uzViLGXeUu_I_phdTS67_UQ5psUchh6TqbhWhiCibQo_n4D9bXj6TKr3gVRHJX6ctY0eEV-0HAkDxGvNVfLBJcgVHEZl658pQ/s1600/ANTM8.5+Confused+bimbo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_HkLhcVHWKc-rAVR6Bp1_-OS2jdEBDt942vV-_uzViLGXeUu_I_phdTS67_UQ5psUchh6TqbhWhiCibQo_n4D9bXj6TKr3gVRHJX6ctY0eEV-0HAkDxGvNVfLBJcgVHEZl658pQ/s400/ANTM8.5+Confused+bimbo.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Confused bimbo</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr1GPdzIC1S1_h9p5MION1ZC8zgIiu-NjhTxWm5i3dran7h7HkPkMlL_TMtG1pViLixlRzC4WD8HMyWp20OEevhk61oLGAWZ-sX_UuJ8F8ac93WegInKN_hN8PZymAKvQ6tJ5xng/s1600/ANTM8.5+Confused+dickhead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr1GPdzIC1S1_h9p5MION1ZC8zgIiu-NjhTxWm5i3dran7h7HkPkMlL_TMtG1pViLixlRzC4WD8HMyWp20OEevhk61oLGAWZ-sX_UuJ8F8ac93WegInKN_hN8PZymAKvQ6tJ5xng/s400/ANTM8.5+Confused+dickhead.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Confused dickhead</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After a minute or two of making Scooby-Doo noises, the
modules arrive at the Australian Reptile Park for what will no doubt be a
meaningful and relevant challenge with a clear winner and a huge cash prize.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Diddles is there, and he greets them with a chicken on a
stick, which is surprisingly not a euphemism for his penis. Because we all know
how much a penis looks like… because of the skin, and… y’know… the feathers…
the clucking… OH GOD, IT’S BEEN SO LONG. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hrr-hrm. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Diddles and a park attendant are standing DIRECTLY IN FRONT
OF ONE OF THE MOST TERRIFYING THINGS ANYONE CAN STAND IN FRONT OF.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6z08aDOe2V6dk6VkeOSBPD83rt19htBBhe43mwm3mFZ2ycMppX5l-LGeMQdzR6aDuJeZ7sr8lELeMOpz51UUWmMlPEW4DAczn-wfWt2s4_BIUvtDnDnwtQsUY0QMp74UkX2P8Tg/s1600/ANTM8.5+DON%2527T+SMILE+AT+IT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6z08aDOe2V6dk6VkeOSBPD83rt19htBBhe43mwm3mFZ2ycMppX5l-LGeMQdzR6aDuJeZ7sr8lELeMOpz51UUWmMlPEW4DAczn-wfWt2s4_BIUvtDnDnwtQsUY0QMp74UkX2P8Tg/s400/ANTM8.5+DON%2527T+SMILE+AT+IT.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>OH THE HUMANITY</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Diddles calls the croc a ‘hunka-hunka-burning croc’, because
its name is Elvis and he had to leave his university wordplay tutorial early
just to be here today.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ashley says “He looked like he wanted to eat Didier. I guess
he could mistake Didier for a chicken with the little hairdo” while she does
THIS:</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6gDrtRXpDqnECDZw7kOiuIvZJe_auxWvbxNlXd9MPotM_yEIFCnWqMBM4n2HitWoCJi-jGiW44TPjfJWOpXb-73Vy_CNR27P7ZEWR4gnHlklhVBKLbdu04LidCt6fW9DX4cBNfA/s1600/ANTM8.5+Ashley+chicken+hand.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6gDrtRXpDqnECDZw7kOiuIvZJe_auxWvbxNlXd9MPotM_yEIFCnWqMBM4n2HitWoCJi-jGiW44TPjfJWOpXb-73Vy_CNR27P7ZEWR4gnHlklhVBKLbdu04LidCt6fW9DX4cBNfA/s400/ANTM8.5+Ashley+chicken+hand.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Begark.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And if that immediately makes you think of THIS:</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitkhyjjlG75jRmC8mJSVyBaqu5aKy27-UXorBZ7pyr0AYVu53EgxlW2n8EC-6nRtaOTU45wo9yl94HtA21NcRajiDM3hT6Fru1Oz9GC3TyrP_hlYmRaNZG_WXR9j65sPTLSrQa9g/s1600/ANTM8.5+Chicken+dance.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitkhyjjlG75jRmC8mJSVyBaqu5aKy27-UXorBZ7pyr0AYVu53EgxlW2n8EC-6nRtaOTU45wo9yl94HtA21NcRajiDM3hT6Fru1Oz9GC3TyrP_hlYmRaNZG_WXR9j65sPTLSrQa9g/s400/ANTM8.5+Chicken+dance.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Begark.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then let’s go have a beer. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In what sounds like the world’s most difficult-to-classify
porn film title, Diddles feeds his chicken to Elvis while everybody screams. He
then says “As a top model, you need to have the confidence to face your fears”.
Oh, THAT’s where we’re going with this, on this industry-accurate televised
modelling competition. Righto. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dajana takes the opportunity to make a list of her myriad of
fears, which is extensive. I take the opportunity to stereotype Dajana’s
cultural heritage and also to point out that I’ve just used ‘myriad’ in a
sentence.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja2ozTE7q7_m1AXilCYUYYNBX0wFPQH4rWbIizLtShA6fX9_b_18tWr7DEH9iXn9nU6X2O7e4QLz23jA0ENajTGXlNgQ1I4ZR0wrpVL9-HJ-Sb6gMdcjpvQrGbsV-_gxJ4VcUMPw/s1600/ANTM8.5+Dajana+fears.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja2ozTE7q7_m1AXilCYUYYNBX0wFPQH4rWbIizLtShA6fX9_b_18tWr7DEH9iXn9nU6X2O7e4QLz23jA0ENajTGXlNgQ1I4ZR0wrpVL9-HJ-Sb6gMdcjpvQrGbsV-_gxJ4VcUMPw/s400/ANTM8.5+Dajana+fears.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">OMG so myriad.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Abbie mentions that her single, all-encompassing fear is
snakes, however the specific fears that Diddles is referring to will initially
be the completely reasonable fear of dividing yourself into two teams and plunging your hand elbow-deep into a jar of
your writhing nightmares in order to retrieve sixty fucking cents.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_tuJDBjuP6r6pz3o50dPE_ZXs8epJsCSXEpHDFJyAGKiptgp6i7IDWXgtbBCgCIVeWZ7SoSXF5-LJl_HSnQmnv_e2fe1BwJ5L9hOHRsc7aPdOfB57ByuUkxL5qgRNIbjdQzJ9Fw/s1600/ANTM8.5+Nothing+about+this+is+okay.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_tuJDBjuP6r6pz3o50dPE_ZXs8epJsCSXEpHDFJyAGKiptgp6i7IDWXgtbBCgCIVeWZ7SoSXF5-LJl_HSnQmnv_e2fe1BwJ5L9hOHRsc7aPdOfB57ByuUkxL5qgRNIbjdQzJ9Fw/s400/ANTM8.5+Nothing+about+this+is+okay.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie is fine. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCKBBO5HD_x9D9ldUgzrxIIO_k75nlACG8G0wCMFh6N0egvPZQTQDQWaa6F1Kjvq5uu4-DSMX7ba7aTaFMVGZYB1wYOyMEqQ7n4cICCphWjWbGYW9cdO68_HZcUfsAt5jkZuSouA/s1600/ANTM8.5+Duckie+freak+out+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCKBBO5HD_x9D9ldUgzrxIIO_k75nlACG8G0wCMFh6N0egvPZQTQDQWaa6F1Kjvq5uu4-DSMX7ba7aTaFMVGZYB1wYOyMEqQ7n4cICCphWjWbGYW9cdO68_HZcUfsAt5jkZuSouA/s400/ANTM8.5+Duckie+freak+out+3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie is calm. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhubJcleGQ0iFAS6GdSlxhREJ4Bm30qlUP8ceszDy-s5q11FuqiK1eBj2KOQX-ujbJWq6vBSpg0yjsXfKL95AMfBnFPvlsVZhTxDRTaU7vAZ-5zbx2MGtmg4k2BFaInUwO0Awl-9A/s1600/ANTM8.5+Duckie+freak+out+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="352" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhubJcleGQ0iFAS6GdSlxhREJ4Bm30qlUP8ceszDy-s5q11FuqiK1eBj2KOQX-ujbJWq6vBSpg0yjsXfKL95AMfBnFPvlsVZhTxDRTaU7vAZ-5zbx2MGtmg4k2BFaInUwO0Awl-9A/s400/ANTM8.5+Duckie+freak+out+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie is composed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX6Dkq68lD7-_y1DL2E5iUjPvzSq5e043_FxNlPKkJvcQaz8U7TjKsoQUr_8tald6wPzilpOvcRhVZ3LCCE3ceq2QT3_jk2AVFwPQOC_BaSCTKXBPMMfpK-8qMWhxYS0ECUIkXJw/s1600/ANTM8.5+Duckie+freak+out+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX6Dkq68lD7-_y1DL2E5iUjPvzSq5e043_FxNlPKkJvcQaz8U7TjKsoQUr_8tald6wPzilpOvcRhVZ3LCCE3ceq2QT3_jk2AVFwPQOC_BaSCTKXBPMMfpK-8qMWhxYS0ECUIkXJw/s400/ANTM8.5+Duckie+freak+out+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie nearly scares herself wh… nothing. Never mind.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhrCkQrO84-fPKcICtlJ3D-68O0tq-4LzMArNBDRLLgDZvoruPa_1s1YrTPuY1q6OUX55L7i3cIk5__uiBNDYUMYRxJsYDxXGty6G5KAkH91AlMwwNj_FqLhjPMiSabCeuGSnuXA/s1600/thats-racist3.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhrCkQrO84-fPKcICtlJ3D-68O0tq-4LzMArNBDRLLgDZvoruPa_1s1YrTPuY1q6OUX55L7i3cIk5__uiBNDYUMYRxJsYDxXGty6G5KAkH91AlMwwNj_FqLhjPMiSabCeuGSnuXA/s1600/thats-racist3.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I didn't even say it, Adamant Little Guy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The winning team jumps up and down, excited that they’ve
won… a… a… a nothing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Next, Diddles asks
who wants to kiss an alligator. Everybody does, of course! I’ve kissed four
alligators and a Komodo dragon just this morning!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Through a barrage of outrageously hilarious ‘I’ve kissed
worse before haw haw haw’ jokes, a few girls take turns kissing an alligator, confusing
a number of pre-teen boys watching and no doubt scarring them/their poor
unsuspecting socks for life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When Shanali goes to kiss the surprisingly stoical reptile,
it’s revealed abruptly that she’s never been kissed before, which upsets her
somewhat, being on national television and all. She cries, and the entire
nation gives her through-screen hugs, because she is perfect and my best friend.
NO TONGUE, THOUGH.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Before you know it, Diddles has another highly meaningful
activity, as Dajana describes: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Didier got us to lie down…”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">UM WHAT</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“…and then he brought out this green….”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">UM WHAT</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“…box…”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">UM WHAT</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyway, it has a massive snake in it. Called ‘Fluffy’. So
this week we ALL get a trophy, for ALL thinking of exactly the same joke at the
same time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbhiCrR4Xoi15uMXfhJFNsO_n_EhODqZOizubTEbeOhDioeVTt_tlmFcs-l_fPrb5Ht3vcXca0s2aPdUbZb58r0C4Kp3S8AGSr3Kzo_VXjSrVH0XALPORwqjdDlWQWcIXmOv0S-w/s1600/ANTM8.5+Fluffy+trophy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbhiCrR4Xoi15uMXfhJFNsO_n_EhODqZOizubTEbeOhDioeVTt_tlmFcs-l_fPrb5Ht3vcXca0s2aPdUbZb58r0C4Kp3S8AGSr3Kzo_VXjSrVH0XALPORwqjdDlWQWcIXmOv0S-w/s400/ANTM8.5+Fluffy+trophy.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Who Let Fluffy Off The Chain trophy. Congratulations everybody.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Abbie freaks out for
an <i>entire</i> fifteen seconds, and then
everyone just relaxes and lets the next caption write itself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4dEON1aEgQKdE3rXx4O6V7N8e2Bm05WnIDovjG-Mlmt2lwVDBfHoDDY0-VtlW83C0GT3UQIlXn2ftP_Xok7Z0GK9VLyeHKTVsP0qxIzBhy6PHIIvC0KzcBtGPm-gNNnuzZC0-ew/s1600/ANTM8.5+Fluffys+off+the+chain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4dEON1aEgQKdE3rXx4O6V7N8e2Bm05WnIDovjG-Mlmt2lwVDBfHoDDY0-VtlW83C0GT3UQIlXn2ftP_Xok7Z0GK9VLyeHKTVsP0qxIzBhy6PHIIvC0KzcBtGPm-gNNnuzZC0-ew/s400/ANTM8.5+Fluffys+off+the+chain.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I might not, though.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Finally Diddles says that as a reward for the girls, he’ll
end the day with something that really </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">is</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
a little fluffy and then looks down at his crotch.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr7WvvosD1M_0-WYYsoPNmKgvLM37Xc0J-OPK5fVytpyzhzXbObVM40RPsLYQxuakFe_ysMILob_H2H9bPfY8sntFl_ek7sOD_mZZoIgFVkk1dVin-tuoG4aQIZuTIgc-bzgzRXQ/s1600/ANTM8.5+Diddles+needs+a+doctor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="336" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr7WvvosD1M_0-WYYsoPNmKgvLM37Xc0J-OPK5fVytpyzhzXbObVM40RPsLYQxuakFe_ysMILob_H2H9bPfY8sntFl_ek7sOD_mZZoIgFVkk1dVin-tuoG4aQIZuTIgc-bzgzRXQ/s400/ANTM8.5+Diddles+needs+a+doctor.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dude, see a doctor.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let’s not talk about the fact that these challenges have no
winner, no prize, and no vocational value. Let’s just move on to…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">MAKEOVER TIME,
BITCHES.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh, hang on. We’re back from the ad break, and Dajana and
Brooke are getting married. Either I fell asleep and I’m dreaming, or this is a
side-story that’s stopping us from watching people crying real peroxide tears
into a salon wash-basin.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi92jQOBJ5q7VQKXXXOGMSjRxTWkPvry2SAV2_Jnkh_6qsdO734IMTdcDvjZ6xOX-w3cUF6B7MW3p3x3FPLFv_CYCFhgwujpeEyEeU2V1HteiE4jO7Kyk9N8ERK_ZvISHKqvNlNig/s1600/ANTM8.5+Dajana+Brooke+wedding.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi92jQOBJ5q7VQKXXXOGMSjRxTWkPvry2SAV2_Jnkh_6qsdO734IMTdcDvjZ6xOX-w3cUF6B7MW3p3x3FPLFv_CYCFhgwujpeEyEeU2V1HteiE4jO7Kyk9N8ERK_ZvISHKqvNlNig/s400/ANTM8.5+Dajana+Brooke+wedding.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I fullee do.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> This unholy union is, like the seemingly superior production quality of 'Model Cam', an outrage. If we let models marry each other, what’s next? <i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMFgiHcEeS-lhDyNCfnX7mXbm63F8spTiZ7jC9nVlZnISiEow2EOV5LlK5r9UnUlRcLAT4yqzmDL_-PefiNm04SKXukBlQQFHG76JsLm8NXWaxYx8wNf6CXbYR9XFUIpTFaLfz9g/s1600/ANTM8.5+Monkey+wedding.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMFgiHcEeS-lhDyNCfnX7mXbm63F8spTiZ7jC9nVlZnISiEow2EOV5LlK5r9UnUlRcLAT4yqzmDL_-PefiNm04SKXukBlQQFHG76JsLm8NXWaxYx8wNf6CXbYR9XFUIpTFaLfz9g/s400/ANTM8.5+Monkey+wedding.jpg" width="310" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5AQ0nDzefV31fPPOy6CSXTqJ49dpF-NFsVVojKZlZdYyXffv-sHd9jYOloIIwyxWsWCTnoplHsSEgfHwEPdy7tiQyNqHeCFe21qM1AR0TpgUHYyNc8QwVFTdymTRmKKPmKkPq9A/s1600/ANTM8.5+Cow+bride.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5AQ0nDzefV31fPPOy6CSXTqJ49dpF-NFsVVojKZlZdYyXffv-sHd9jYOloIIwyxWsWCTnoplHsSEgfHwEPdy7tiQyNqHeCFe21qM1AR0TpgUHYyNc8QwVFTdymTRmKKPmKkPq9A/s400/ANTM8.5+Cow+bride.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZa7wt9-Ndu4FkqRZERtnSLJ7k1W_w2E2x0M7GwW1R2Q3tsEOWIZ7a6btvYQftY52ytBCFqxp_v3sRMoafiqsmtTdgiZxrAaLO9U__EhbbhryW6cXXX5ATlYbxPuAXzuCjM_ErqA/s1600/ANTM8.5+Dog+wedding.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZa7wt9-Ndu4FkqRZERtnSLJ7k1W_w2E2x0M7GwW1R2Q3tsEOWIZ7a6btvYQftY52ytBCFqxp_v3sRMoafiqsmtTdgiZxrAaLO9U__EhbbhryW6cXXX5ATlYbxPuAXzuCjM_ErqA/s400/ANTM8.5+Dog+wedding.jpg" width="378" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I, Jo, take you, Google image search...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">FINALLY the modules are off to the salon, and I begrudgingly
admit that at this point, Dajana summarises how everyone feels about the
makeover episode better than I ever could, although I can probably still
moonwalk better than she can. She says:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Every model that
comes on Australia’s Next Top Model, if she doesn’t make it to makeover… honey,
you were never on the show”. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s like Marcel Duchamp saying “I might take the piss out
of traditional art paradigms a smidge” or, for the lowbrow amongst you, like
Taylor Momsen saying “I look a tiny bit like a crackwhore sometimes”. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Nailed
it, ladies and gentlemen.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Back at home, eliminated contestants Whatserface and
Thingumajig weep quietly into their green smoothies.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The budget must be tight this year, as they’ve recruited yet
another retarded work experience kid to cut the girls’ hair today.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrO4MaAv-ockDvYte1q-DhnW6F75avwe6xVWIhUU2n0Cg_RuM_5MBM4TzJUjpHBlbKrEly-9RghVhKYXZMwUNWz3zQuUEcM2nltxXBQe-MRZtDr7EBqGVzMAZS4TS01ZuNSPjXvg/s1600/ANTM8.5+Charlotte+scissor+run.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrO4MaAv-ockDvYte1q-DhnW6F75avwe6xVWIhUU2n0Cg_RuM_5MBM4TzJUjpHBlbKrEly-9RghVhKYXZMwUNWz3zQuUEcM2nltxXBQe-MRZtDr7EBqGVzMAZS4TS01ZuNSPjXvg/s400/ANTM8.5+Charlotte+scissor+run.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If that thing's wearing crocs, run for your lives.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Speaking of tight budgets, makeovers today will be taking
place at the Australasian College Of Hairdressing, the Solange Knowles of
salons. Now, one of the reasons I love makeover episodes, aside from the
transformation and general sobbing, is that nobody in the entire history of
hairdressing has ever looked good at the hairdresser’s. See?</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd_3Ba6WguPj3LF0u6Zb2UhfW23RBWJyAO0qoKzL3nCDztB7D8lTROZweAIAIprTQAqtEyNZX6bTD5cYanWentPxdQKQ39QzBIVKh87_ZGv5ry8D1Q-mO9IK5tSMq-IdAlBDGLXg/s1600/ANTM8.5+Taylah+foiled+up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd_3Ba6WguPj3LF0u6Zb2UhfW23RBWJyAO0qoKzL3nCDztB7D8lTROZweAIAIprTQAqtEyNZX6bTD5cYanWentPxdQKQ39QzBIVKh87_ZGv5ry8D1Q-mO9IK5tSMq-IdAlBDGLXg/s400/ANTM8.5+Taylah+foiled+up.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjizKd9cJ_0kptmMWSmIqDLtXBBKB_WaUAq44XjsIH7NU2uHM840u1hySwuxzyrTB04bHeSJ1hWrAdxEnl6SfHjTUAy5bu5_rKIwcOOMlE8K6GHEtOJr0csYGK0tWY3jY3RoEinOw/s1600/ANTM8.5+Shannon+hairdressed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjizKd9cJ_0kptmMWSmIqDLtXBBKB_WaUAq44XjsIH7NU2uHM840u1hySwuxzyrTB04bHeSJ1hWrAdxEnl6SfHjTUAy5bu5_rKIwcOOMlE8K6GHEtOJr0csYGK0tWY3jY3RoEinOw/s400/ANTM8.5+Shannon+hairdressed.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5CKuK_J-FFQfASRSIN4q4lysk-vlfqWZhx4ku-qm5bFefkhmzhZNIPVL8nJCUczo9CU0ei8GyhC34j7CYiyxcvk0if3Aeu31pdT6hYI21y4STQ47M1sX6c-b9YqTOmCZYXx8oKg/s1600/ANTM8.5+Shakespeare+foils.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5CKuK_J-FFQfASRSIN4q4lysk-vlfqWZhx4ku-qm5bFefkhmzhZNIPVL8nJCUczo9CU0ei8GyhC34j7CYiyxcvk0if3Aeu31pdT6hYI21y4STQ47M1sX6c-b9YqTOmCZYXx8oKg/s400/ANTM8.5+Shakespeare+foils.jpg" width="298" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'll be your foils, Laertes. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie gets a pink buzz cut, and since we’re all pretty sure
she’s putting her wig back on as soon as this competition’s over, she’s
reasonably philosophical about it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Brooke is told she’s going ‘Paris runway chocolate brown’
which is kind of cheating, because everything sounds better with the words ‘Paris
runway’ in front of it. Paris runway haemorrhoids. Paris runway atopic
dermatitis. Mrs Johnson, your husband has Paris runway prostate cancer. Fierce.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawso tells Shannon that whilst her hair is plentiful and
beautiful…</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDSiQ2MxzXg_x-mctxUyoWrCXIQLHrWA7dr_nmQovPsjTzM4D93X5wNXVjoy0c8kBhedzfDII8ahEtNNMldgY_0rk4qTvoDC5SatqAuYQZKevSN1N5ddhRHaTEzoWzxd_GEh4Ybw/s1600/ANTM8.3+Shannon+Flick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDSiQ2MxzXg_x-mctxUyoWrCXIQLHrWA7dr_nmQovPsjTzM4D93X5wNXVjoy0c8kBhedzfDII8ahEtNNMldgY_0rk4qTvoDC5SatqAuYQZKevSN1N5ddhRHaTEzoWzxd_GEh4Ybw/s400/ANTM8.3+Shannon+Flick.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes? What? Yes?</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">…it’s just not versatile.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_xlAHo4OTi12hz-t_XK3ObVqQyOtrPOfPeyMlWboIElIgKNmt0_Bs_9rbD6RQa0WOSh_cIiRSZIlVT56Nn5rP0sgJzpjEgatG61J9BAF5KK-FFDHczgftUVFogfIY8Z_FyzzG4A/s1600/ANTM8.3+Tracy+Flick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_xlAHo4OTi12hz-t_XK3ObVqQyOtrPOfPeyMlWboIElIgKNmt0_Bs_9rbD6RQa0WOSh_cIiRSZIlVT56Nn5rP0sgJzpjEgatG61J9BAF5KK-FFDHczgftUVFogfIY8Z_FyzzG4A/s400/ANTM8.3+Tracy+Flick.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">YOU TAKE THAT BACK, RETARDED WORK EXPERIENCE KID.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">April, given a chic pixie cut befitting of all French
robots, monotones: “I guess we’ll all just have to wait and see because no-one’s
got a choice in the matter we get what we’re given and we have to work with it”,
proving that her accurate situational-processing software has uploaded
successfully.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dajana brings honour to her family by reacting heavily
dramatically to four centimetres of hair loss.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgan7g3F5r-hpDMe-xGyZ_bgGPNVeuzwsZuC-Pnt7Ayy2QJgnFOJDQ1XQK3LkFByY8Cro0__75nSwLzAj9cTPZxKC5emYuGIaqVQtquk9Lm18RFb6KbBSdg1BWbC6lnBZquAXUOVQ/s1600/ANTM8.5+Dajana+spewing+fullee.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgan7g3F5r-hpDMe-xGyZ_bgGPNVeuzwsZuC-Pnt7Ayy2QJgnFOJDQ1XQK3LkFByY8Cro0__75nSwLzAj9cTPZxKC5emYuGIaqVQtquk9Lm18RFb6KbBSdg1BWbC6lnBZquAXUOVQ/s400/ANTM8.5+Dajana+spewing+fullee.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jade gets an awesome fringed rock cut, Melissa and Abbie
stay exactly the same, Maddy gets a bit shorter while Taylah from Western
Austraylah gets a bit blonder, and Shanali has the unique honour of having hair
torn out of her face with a piece of string.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She cries, again because she didn’t want that sort of thing
to happen on TV. Shanali, I love you a <i>lot</i>,
but honey, this is a television show and those are television cameras and you’re
on television and television television television. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But I love you a lot.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But television.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To show off their new makeovers, the scrags strut their
marginally-less-hirsute stuff on a catwalk in front of magazine people, modelling
agency people, and SURPRISE RELATIVES AND LOVED ONES OH MY GOD people.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is what twelve surprised people look like.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdImacMT5EVCFC-aOV2EFtPol2EoYAg-XjqWZ6GSyljlzBzs_E_ZWN2B5gLSbkT32YvUPzC3KsH8SKiDIor3iUvv_oCUBKAwZayJCOC1FQJwkzexCaN5bj1PB8UJGbYzCajdjz8A/s1600/ANTM8.5+OMG+faces.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdImacMT5EVCFC-aOV2EFtPol2EoYAg-XjqWZ6GSyljlzBzs_E_ZWN2B5gLSbkT32YvUPzC3KsH8SKiDIor3iUvv_oCUBKAwZayJCOC1FQJwkzexCaN5bj1PB8UJGbYzCajdjz8A/s400/ANTM8.5+OMG+faces.jpg" width="273" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Okay, eleven surprised people and one constipated one. Hey, Abbie.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We learn what Taylah’s girlfriend looks like. We learn what
Brooke’s boyfriend looks like. We learn that Ashley is kind of mean to her mum.
We learn that Melissa Sevenhead has a definitely-fraternal twin sister. We learn that
family reunions are heart-warming. We learn that family reunions are kind of
boring.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We learn that I will take the most tenuous opportunities to
make a retro sitcom theme song relevant to this thing. They said ‘family’! I
know a thing about a family!</span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/7H3JuQUQTLQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sha-la-la-laaaaaaa</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Heartwarmingly and respectfully: get the fuck on with it.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Phoy-toys.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Back from the ad break for probably tampons, we learn more
about the prizes, which I think this year include a full set of wicker bedroom
furniture and a packet of Sherbies. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">All of a sudden Shiny Alex Perry is corralling the modules
in Hyde Park and introducing them to photographer Harold David, who tells them
they’ll be doing a 90s-style Calvin Klein-esque phoy-toy shoot today. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Also from the 90s: having two first names and this hat.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZQhMDYhHB9E8FpfJRJMKJAXzxMBI_yQx8tdbtl37mYuhkiBSZWXYDdBGUVG4K1eQTBL80D-IlU6UKDpPP8ObjxIgimloRAP67dsZWi2Bdp7_ErsThxenz7ElHFAB42VJSLP8aqw/s1600/ANTM8.5+Harold+David+90s+hat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZQhMDYhHB9E8FpfJRJMKJAXzxMBI_yQx8tdbtl37mYuhkiBSZWXYDdBGUVG4K1eQTBL80D-IlU6UKDpPP8ObjxIgimloRAP67dsZWi2Bdp7_ErsThxenz7ElHFAB42VJSLP8aqw/s400/ANTM8.5+Harold+David+90s+hat.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Also from the 90s: some of Alex Perry's forehead.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Harold Two-Names tells the girls he wants them to
concentrate and focus.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihYXyF0D8nJm8C2JX0r9pL4W2wcyYJYG0tWbYUh7x3BVCBZlHR8eoEkggUa4F60OI6_y0ViK4w6wGIPBMM2dyT_ZkcDlvTbmULkJG29gO7C1Shn7UYV8ka8cV_5uMQSKTI-Pye5Q/s1600/ANTM8.5+Shannon+Flick+focussed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihYXyF0D8nJm8C2JX0r9pL4W2wcyYJYG0tWbYUh7x3BVCBZlHR8eoEkggUa4F60OI6_y0ViK4w6wGIPBMM2dyT_ZkcDlvTbmULkJG29gO7C1Shn7UYV8ka8cV_5uMQSKTI-Pye5Q/s400/ANTM8.5+Shannon+Flick+focussed.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No problem, Mr McAllister.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">While the scrags go into hair and make-up, we amuse
ourselves with a Hyde Park montage – trees, birds, passers-by, and this
specific drug deal.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiQNBKI03dlJhO50O8pOghZ-eO2Nqo_NKhWFwJqQ7EOFGVS_qCW9Wp7THNNw8PiOB2kk8pk3vVzoEZ-ySv6dbKBs2bynTUoX8IkpYtopzyaMnTiJVSmE9z0JY7HPXDmXdqttAjeQ/s1600/ANTM8.5+Hyde+Park+drug+deal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiQNBKI03dlJhO50O8pOghZ-eO2Nqo_NKhWFwJqQ7EOFGVS_qCW9Wp7THNNw8PiOB2kk8pk3vVzoEZ-ySv6dbKBs2bynTUoX8IkpYtopzyaMnTiJVSmE9z0JY7HPXDmXdqttAjeQ/s400/ANTM8.5+Hyde+Park+drug+deal.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Daaaaaaad, I told you not to hang out in paaaarks.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In silky nighties in front of an entire city plus pigeons,
each girl has their turn looking simple and elegant and versatile and serene
and sexy and windswept and adjectives. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jade and Taylah from Western Austraylah are magnificent, but
Maddy Banana Paddy, probably distracted by our own impending nuptials, has to
have two goes before she gets it right, as does French Robot April. Brooke is
gorgeous but not outrageously interesting, and Howard Two-Names remarks that
Shannon really only works from one angle.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5dQU9QKDPKFVWGv-vNPm2MgMKaiG9aCfaR207kGTahSHNjkNikegANBJ1QSWqe1pKgStQkcjC8Fq9t3XDgD-xYLG71yRocqnabLtiHJoum-R1dqnrlNhkHF1OG_zoXoRPgzNXsA/s1600/ANTM8.5+Tracy+Flick+PERFECTION.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5dQU9QKDPKFVWGv-vNPm2MgMKaiG9aCfaR207kGTahSHNjkNikegANBJ1QSWqe1pKgStQkcjC8Fq9t3XDgD-xYLG71yRocqnabLtiHJoum-R1dqnrlNhkHF1OG_zoXoRPgzNXsA/s400/ANTM8.5+Tracy+Flick+PERFECTION.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Melissa hits it out of the park, non-literally but totally,
the length of Shanali’s limbs (plus her persistent perfect thing) impresses
everyone, Dajana suits the shoot to a tee, and Duckie is smoulderingly magnificent,
even without her usual retina-shattering smile. Abbie is way better suited to this
shoot than last week's ladylike one, but Ashley is… well, kind of annoying, telling Shiny Alex
Perry that she’s surprised he didn’t compliment her hair. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Because you know how Shiny Alex Perry is always handing out
compliments, in the same way that stegosauruses are always wearing top hats and
dancing in your refrigerator?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The phoy-toy shoot, with its very similar nighties and
uniform styling and backdrop, makes it very hard to guess which girl is going
home this week. Singular. Girl. Going home. All by herself. One.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eliminationosity<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We’re in the Eliminatorium, where Screamin’ J. Hawkins is
dressed as a glamorous tomato, Dawso is dressed as a glamorous bottle of
Windex, and Diddles is dressed as someone in a period British stage musical.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmlKyUp4361FOIQ_Yb5jhabF9cBVhbHymNFOZR-qjEL6Yo-nFNQ7SM7uYXn1rDowDeSKA8B8lwqMOrg62gGIcSbj8FMc5360_aZEAIuhzjyXJa-zvljsLv2g3Iy5NCQwn60y-Cdg/s1600/ANTM8.5+Diddles+Govnor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmlKyUp4361FOIQ_Yb5jhabF9cBVhbHymNFOZR-qjEL6Yo-nFNQ7SM7uYXn1rDowDeSKA8B8lwqMOrg62gGIcSbj8FMc5360_aZEAIuhzjyXJa-zvljsLv2g3Iy5NCQwn60y-Cdg/s400/ANTM8.5+Diddles+Govnor.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Innit.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Meanwhile Shiny Alex Perry continues his gradual yet assured
transformation into an actual picnic table.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNTKEIareffBt4eetVsnR3ulFd9e2qdkPnToPC9p-7Ht8iN78NQzzgn4JPcAf_vk9QRN7JjX7LRBVpzrnF3ACqVyQagiPtw4h2_5sm-8KeSeKhPt9jNMR1y53KO-I3sZD5S8hFMQ/s1600/ANTM8.5+AP+picnic+tablecloth1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNTKEIareffBt4eetVsnR3ulFd9e2qdkPnToPC9p-7Ht8iN78NQzzgn4JPcAf_vk9QRN7JjX7LRBVpzrnF3ACqVyQagiPtw4h2_5sm-8KeSeKhPt9jNMR1y53KO-I3sZD5S8hFMQ/s400/ANTM8.5+AP+picnic+tablecloth1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let’s just take this thing to its logical extension, shall we,
Shiny Alex Perry?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz9SoAy6uyU6T6J-Xf4C5hHeSRGt0jXshyphenhyphenr21AqEjmK8cYCqVOVmPJ2SqljW2I5WmJ-z-qqqvWoc4HJtPN3M60ggafXUbvFSvpZRz698C0kzRK3ZhFIWCEnW3Jqqqb_x9SBqHI6g/s1600/ANTM8.5+AP+tablecloth3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz9SoAy6uyU6T6J-Xf4C5hHeSRGt0jXshyphenhyphenr21AqEjmK8cYCqVOVmPJ2SqljW2I5WmJ-z-qqqvWoc4HJtPN3M60ggafXUbvFSvpZRz698C0kzRK3ZhFIWCEnW3Jqqqb_x9SBqHI6g/s400/ANTM8.5+AP+tablecloth3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Photos are leafed through and chit-chat is engaged in with
the chit-chattiest of intentions.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawso claims Melissa Sevenhead is likely an impostor from
the actual realm of working modules. Shiny Alex Perry comments that she’s “The
only short model that I’ve ever liked”, which is as close to a compliment as
anybody’s going to get from ol' Pass The Wet Ones Perry.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jade has her new fringe pinned back, which perplexes the
judges. Screamin’ J. Hawkins, clearly not paying attention, says “You have a
fringe?”. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Yeah, I have a front fringe”, replies Jade, careful to
divert suspicion away from her dorsal and lateral fringes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Gathering courage and momentum, she adds “I have plenty of
time to show you guys my fringe” with a confident smirk. What do you say to <i>that</i>, Amazing Psychic Desk?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioRgVrkD_ZUaMc2TAMEgHrg4Pid46kBKAUoveQt37gh95fY-P8WxQ2h1jRQ_rkTQ-PZ3s3sTQNs6RsTneWxYbEHHnJx4ZzFKfDsb75FGlKYl3iuj_mR5z_gEEv_hEoqZJkB7ptzA/s1600/ANTM8.5+Amazing+Psychic+Desk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioRgVrkD_ZUaMc2TAMEgHrg4Pid46kBKAUoveQt37gh95fY-P8WxQ2h1jRQ_rkTQ-PZ3s3sTQNs6RsTneWxYbEHHnJx4ZzFKfDsb75FGlKYl3iuj_mR5z_gEEv_hEoqZJkB7ptzA/s400/ANTM8.5+Amazing+Psychic+Desk.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Scrags exit, judges deliberate, scrags re-enter, and Melissa
Sevenhead gets photo of the week because PSSSSHHPOOOWWWW explosion of
excellent. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Names are read out one by one until only French Robot April
and Brooke, still technically on her honeymoon, remain. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Some very stressful minutes, during which Ashley makes a promise
she can’t keep in the form of guaranteeing Brooke’s safety pass, and… </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">DOUBLE ELIMINATION!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">THING THAT HAPPENS EVERY SERIES SHOCK!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shiny Alex Perry will have to work twice as hard on his
laser-eyes this week. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6C3Y2baNypDg64_Cfm__j_JHyjxm6_d0fHAwPhH0HLF-4V3cIgiMCTOFg1Ni9heH9DcOW1PXzh-Q9UI4l_3H72HLhoYSea1hFZEq_aKYQhs_uwPQJDT_Tsco_K4B3mHJ3R8_xuQ/s1600/ANTM8.5+AP+tablecloth+laser.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6C3Y2baNypDg64_Cfm__j_JHyjxm6_d0fHAwPhH0HLF-4V3cIgiMCTOFg1Ni9heH9DcOW1PXzh-Q9UI4l_3H72HLhoYSea1hFZEq_aKYQhs_uwPQJDT_Tsco_K4B3mHJ3R8_xuQ/s400/ANTM8.5+AP+tablecloth+laser.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN2HAyGsKsUFjULL2c9xYFu5u2iEdQRSxi8ka7ijHDUVIKb3qWBF8rk8KwElc2BDENAFt-pQr5BdLdiPedlIGBu8yon3Pz3SVaODJ8SPYPbE6i02G7q_8xZd3hhejP7QaMx6lQOA/s1600/ANTM8.5+Head+asplode.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="272" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN2HAyGsKsUFjULL2c9xYFu5u2iEdQRSxi8ka7ijHDUVIKb3qWBF8rk8KwElc2BDENAFt-pQr5BdLdiPedlIGBu8yon3Pz3SVaODJ8SPYPbE6i02G7q_8xZd3hhejP7QaMx6lQOA/s400/ANTM8.5+Head+asplode.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That is one talented picnic table.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Bye, Brooke! You were
poised and pretty and fake married and stuff.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bye, April! Any last words?</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh452FVIABRJU0Q792loKognQcYRo_UJwkFqo-6HBpfE_zzHSw6Avlbck2LqXTrMWM1AH59hmfzsPKnAXvogA0-s4l27Hc0E6uYcKK6rXHZmuOoTtBLoGFVRdEkJdW0AdLJ039mpA/s1600/ANTM8.5+April+binary+last+words.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh452FVIABRJU0Q792loKognQcYRo_UJwkFqo-6HBpfE_zzHSw6Avlbck2LqXTrMWM1AH59hmfzsPKnAXvogA0-s4l27Hc0E6uYcKK6rXHZmuOoTtBLoGFVRdEkJdW0AdLJ039mpA/s400/ANTM8.5+April+binary+last+words.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Exactly.</span></div>
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Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-89749033605162422332013-07-30T20:38:00.000+10:002013-07-30T20:38:58.545+10:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Eight #4<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I’m not shooting pool, snorting whiskey or road-testing
monster trucks, nothing gives me more pleasure than sipping a nice cup of
Orange Pekoe with my fucking pinkie out, because I’m a lady.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This week we learn all there is to know about being a lady,
except for what period pain feels like, because you do NOT want June Dally
Watkins talking to you about periods without booking into a trauma therapy specialist first. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Clutch your pearls and close your knees, it’s the ‘Scrag
Looks Like A Lady’ episode of <i>Australia’s
Next Top Model’. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Don’t waste your lives.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(Just the next four to twenty-eight minutes, depending on
how fast you read).</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">*****</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Housekeeping<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There’s a fairly even smattering of pointage on the old
Catchphrase Counter, with surprisingly no points yet for ‘I’m not here to make
friends’, despite the fact that Rhiannon clearly isn’t.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvbpXqIr-EEUYD1pExsQW3T6C5Dsp6v-xkEm0dy3bCqyCrsuaVQC-sTwIpePwqtvjke5qPiJ0lq4yBVJZrOgVLnk1q53nL2Svjy6n_QcHuQcTj5a9l1h9Y19rr1aIAoDTpY5qyRA/s1600/ANTM8.4+Catchphrase+Log.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="338" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvbpXqIr-EEUYD1pExsQW3T6C5Dsp6v-xkEm0dy3bCqyCrsuaVQC-sTwIpePwqtvjke5qPiJ0lq4yBVJZrOgVLnk1q53nL2Svjy6n_QcHuQcTj5a9l1h9Y19rr1aIAoDTpY5qyRA/s400/ANTM8.4+Catchphrase+Log.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Perhaps I should have included the phrase “GERFLERCACK!”,
considering the number of times the Dajana upchuck footage from last week has been used.
Producers: this emetophobe thanks you, you vindictive and clever bastards.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As an aside, why haven’t I been calling Jen Hawkins Mrs
Everything ‘Screamin’ J. Hawkins’ the whole time? Am I only seventy-five
percent genius or something? That’s really a surprise.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Also, I hope you’re all aspirating your ‘top-PAAAAH’s
whenever you hear the theme song and shouting ‘JOURNEY!’ whenever you hear the
word ‘journey’. It’s fun, and it makes me feel omnipotent. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Emetophobe? Omnipotent? Sorry if I’m making you look up
words. It’s all learnin’, all the time here at Jo Blogs.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh, right. The show thingy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Learnment<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s an early morning sunrise montage, and the girls are
reading in the living room. They’re READING. Elle Macpherson MISLED us about
the reading habits of modules. I HATE it when she does that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I can’t quite see what it is that Maddy Banana Paddy is
reading, but regardless, it looks <a href="http://www.allenandunwin.com/default.aspx?page=653&book=9781743310885">extremely well co-written and it also looks like it’s currently available at all good book stores.</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTMOhKeht8zGGEBq1m70p0G4VetSA1co1BnL4naCXneZxrKMhIdegt17SPucAedJjSX6BjSYcq7uuk7X_fTK8oEVvOrwMOlPnZyaX7dHM2StpAw9jRKS75ylzCIwTnlIYY7dBp4Q/s1600/ANTM8.4+Maddy+Air+Kiss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTMOhKeht8zGGEBq1m70p0G4VetSA1co1BnL4naCXneZxrKMhIdegt17SPucAedJjSX6BjSYcq7uuk7X_fTK8oEVvOrwMOlPnZyaX7dHM2StpAw9jRKS75ylzCIwTnlIYY7dBp4Q/s400/ANTM8.4+Maddy+Air+Kiss.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>This is what best friends do. Read each other's books.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Abbie is obviously reading the wrong book, but I’m able to
fix that seamlessly in Photoshop.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL8L-DWyQcUbtesYbXfy2hkJ1vWTahg75tyk16uGOkqUDD5rns6bWQv2kwhF-YdsMuBbRnfQjiWra268swyTLsTUalNQ2MqCVVS_HHAOeRbpt9srtsKZ7VSrR2fjGD0LftSY2Gqg/s1600/ANTM8.4+Abbie+not+reading+Air+Kiss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL8L-DWyQcUbtesYbXfy2hkJ1vWTahg75tyk16uGOkqUDD5rns6bWQv2kwhF-YdsMuBbRnfQjiWra268swyTLsTUalNQ2MqCVVS_HHAOeRbpt9srtsKZ7VSrR2fjGD0LftSY2Gqg/s400/ANTM8.4+Abbie+not+reading+Air+Kiss.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pfffft, whatever, EMBRACE.<br />
<br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2TVO0WW6ilLZ66RBLrnDTct6ja8uYQy8FureZ3oeERqj8OYRhVYMf18nXjzufti66BaykWvGaNNfKoLKcFFheVDPqGQ3bfXsqyi5lgK1qhyphenhyphenXRE-yx7IFK_QcJlGn5fcU7BL-Gpw/s1600/ANTM8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2TVO0WW6ilLZ66RBLrnDTct6ja8uYQy8FureZ3oeERqj8OYRhVYMf18nXjzufti66BaykWvGaNNfKoLKcFFheVDPqGQ3bfXsqyi5lgK1qhyphenhyphenXRE-yx7IFK_QcJlGn5fcU7BL-Gpw/s400/ANTM8.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Better.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Meanwhile Ashley, sitting by herself on the balcony, says
that “I feel this competition has saved me in a way”, clearly forgetting that
this competition actually gave her appendicitis. She talks to camera about her extreme
determination to win, and gets a little emoytional.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvLOdZUAVhTBh3NFM4pQOOtmSp4QnOCfb9iZBFWLArlJoIkhyTkCSok4WKrl0EHhHxRcEFFHAZUxFUq1kXwRYqO8_6mYxQ96DoNVbFvefemB22A4wmszlTryFkkWXKGBa1v3Uzjw/s1600/ANTM8.4+Ashley+upset+about+hexagons.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvLOdZUAVhTBh3NFM4pQOOtmSp4QnOCfb9iZBFWLArlJoIkhyTkCSok4WKrl0EHhHxRcEFFHAZUxFUq1kXwRYqO8_6mYxQ96DoNVbFvefemB22A4wmszlTryFkkWXKGBa1v3Uzjw/s400/ANTM8.4+Ashley+upset+about+hexagons.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She's not really upset, it's just that hexagons kind of freak her out.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">JEN MAIL! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The low-fat iPad (or other sponsor-provided device) crackles
into life and Screamin’ J. Hawkins recites “Models have style and grace. Forget
yours and you’ll have egg on your face”. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Um. As this adorable puppy says….</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYeENrlFTtOhPNS2AhtGXKaX6hR_uV7waxb1MzwgAaENx5E-OoFQCAd0RPOYqFZVMdkAia7Pma9H8IR-Ew7IdV99nZ799Y9eM_lqgyzKQLV0YKM-rS-lu9YB3frgUIEBJkDp8X2Q/s1600/ANTM8.4+confused-dog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYeENrlFTtOhPNS2AhtGXKaX6hR_uV7waxb1MzwgAaENx5E-OoFQCAd0RPOYqFZVMdkAia7Pma9H8IR-Ew7IdV99nZ799Y9eM_lqgyzKQLV0YKM-rS-lu9YB3frgUIEBJkDp8X2Q/s400/ANTM8.4+confused-dog.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">RRRRrrrrrRRRR?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Alternatively, as Dajana puts it: “Jen was sort of saying like, some poem
rhyming Shakespeare thing, we were like, what? It was like Morse code… Da Vinci
Code”. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQvhyphenhyphenbK2suPKx4vPZz30A79U3E0Y4beL06THMvVRIzjVzbrRJsosv7hv_wqf2d5hfx9yBS1YmOokc5yrLNQnI8E3Tupsy1tyhbtrQgkQzjGqkrsLy7SlOKA5NMGv3TzEI09gBfew/s1600/ANTM8.4+Shakespeare+Sigh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="322" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQvhyphenhyphenbK2suPKx4vPZz30A79U3E0Y4beL06THMvVRIzjVzbrRJsosv7hv_wqf2d5hfx9yBS1YmOokc5yrLNQnI8E3Tupsy1tyhbtrQgkQzjGqkrsLy7SlOKA5NMGv3TzEI09gBfew/s400/ANTM8.4+Shakespeare+Sigh.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">For fucketh sake.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Jen Mail goes on to say something about dressing,
something about teasing, and something about saying please, but oddly nothing about
how now would be a good time to stereotype Dajana’s ethnic heritage.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib8Gpj0IfgEoXQDu0nhEDtJoCaL2sncrWyC7vBFYQyDZ-tu4So84mGvWk2c1WNd9IeSuvSyoOL6_uV_XJ4DN3d7818ozq70dfufgAExLY50wv45WODKIS2ZE-SoY26tZ2FNoZjwQ/s1600/ANTM8.4+Dajana+Forsooth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib8Gpj0IfgEoXQDu0nhEDtJoCaL2sncrWyC7vBFYQyDZ-tu4So84mGvWk2c1WNd9IeSuvSyoOL6_uV_XJ4DN3d7818ozq70dfufgAExLY50wv45WODKIS2ZE-SoY26tZ2FNoZjwQ/s400/ANTM8.4+Dajana+Forsooth.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The scrags shoot out of the module mansion into the Nissans
and are belched out in front of Elizabeth Bay House, where crunchy-guitared
production music instantly gives way to Vivaldi’s Four Seasons: Autumn. See? See how fucking classy this shit is?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Screamin’ J. Hawkins greets the girls on the front step and
tells them that today will be all about relaxing. It is a lie. It is a god. Damn.
Lie.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Led to the dining room, the scrags descend upon a table piled high with teacups, cakes, scones, sandwiches, macarons, biscuits and loads of
other things they would’ve thrown in the bin during last week’s fitness
episode. Oddly, there are no green smoothies. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Some of the girls are marginally less couth than others. When
asked to pass the milk, Rhiannon responds that she’s ‘a bit preoccupied’ at the
moment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqYGii7_uwHkbSpJaZ9dEChLdSLiqnsTtAaXch5OIewh_cM4_j1G2zlq-n-g_cCkjQFXQnkoljrwc4wfjJyEp9r1vTlQ2LUy_0eh-6S-FcYoBeZHk3vLw8yhxDRFJiiqOmbJiCxg/s1600/ANTM8.4+Rhiannon+preoccupied+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqYGii7_uwHkbSpJaZ9dEChLdSLiqnsTtAaXch5OIewh_cM4_j1G2zlq-n-g_cCkjQFXQnkoljrwc4wfjJyEp9r1vTlQ2LUy_0eh-6S-FcYoBeZHk3vLw8yhxDRFJiiqOmbJiCxg/s400/ANTM8.4+Rhiannon+preoccupied+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First course: lightly fricaseed disgusting.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLjdUpLU0XICeTWKJHWjHoCDGgMjyLCm-PWtlX8PYB32V4131Yv6zsO6jLY_SpyklEjhOJ1I1851qN4_8R918qZD1pNFf9hTAbSqMuOLBle6hb_SLG_u5kmMu5U4-0OKk2YBasCg/s1600/ANTM8.4+Rhiannon+preoccupied+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLjdUpLU0XICeTWKJHWjHoCDGgMjyLCm-PWtlX8PYB32V4131Yv6zsO6jLY_SpyklEjhOJ1I1851qN4_8R918qZD1pNFf9hTAbSqMuOLBle6hb_SLG_u5kmMu5U4-0OKk2YBasCg/s400/ANTM8.4+Rhiannon+preoccupied+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Second course: the unsettlingly orgasmic throes of indulgence.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYMti9nL7vLKmtHwlsrEeHiQg3O-k3JKQXy4_Pz92qip3IhJ6zgnPqjN-eu3gis8XlO4RiUkhiAcJiSbJiHSTPIkwFl6b985iGDU7O7nIqSgDbFVQpwqe62X8hrm5fTAwYyjD2kg/s1600/ANTM8.4+Rhiannon+preoccupied+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYMti9nL7vLKmtHwlsrEeHiQg3O-k3JKQXy4_Pz92qip3IhJ6zgnPqjN-eu3gis8XlO4RiUkhiAcJiSbJiHSTPIkwFl6b985iGDU7O7nIqSgDbFVQpwqe62X8hrm5fTAwYyjD2kg/s400/ANTM8.4+Rhiannon+preoccupied+3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Third course: Diabetes.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rhiannon, Taylah and Abbie in particular are the biggest
ratbags, causing a sudden outbreak of pigeon-eye.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMbQqUmsUhkVEApaplFJZySBWUEbUwiVlt_EdeXLabBT1XifX9qe3gYX0QQi2H5vitFgDM8_0jvKSViGpnvc-ITRzFj-SeisJyjxSyzBdQnof-0A6DtChErhbDf6SOYttC5OOyUw/s1600/ANTM8.4+Duckie+pigeon+eye.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMbQqUmsUhkVEApaplFJZySBWUEbUwiVlt_EdeXLabBT1XifX9qe3gYX0QQi2H5vitFgDM8_0jvKSViGpnvc-ITRzFj-SeisJyjxSyzBdQnof-0A6DtChErhbDf6SOYttC5OOyUw/s400/ANTM8.4+Duckie+pigeon+eye.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGcaxvcyy0Rncq6aqyIWcXjl4CX_A0TanHFXFNP9idRuTFMy0ikE1xROoKoWlFAw_xpYjgvw9a8x-yKfr_1Q3DjLXCS3DWNO6c-KYmjjpjVmCQeaWjtoAC5jeDyyBhTgf6Ub-GSA/s1600/Copy+of+ANTM8.4+bROOKE+pigeon+eye.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGcaxvcyy0Rncq6aqyIWcXjl4CX_A0TanHFXFNP9idRuTFMy0ikE1xROoKoWlFAw_xpYjgvw9a8x-yKfr_1Q3DjLXCS3DWNO6c-KYmjjpjVmCQeaWjtoAC5jeDyyBhTgf6Ub-GSA/s400/Copy+of+ANTM8.4+bROOKE+pigeon+eye.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg45SAXHAG1-o8RXIvLqSxp5vou1t3oIMAix7O7GaM9gfF_587clGskHZqueTxawkONMF723EV6zbvzsTMhFwWan6DgkYiFXjencgqs-VTzo9mfvIcO78MSGhkL9SivZeDXHLCpww/s1600/ANTM8.4+Shakespeare+pigeon+eye.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="322" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg45SAXHAG1-o8RXIvLqSxp5vou1t3oIMAix7O7GaM9gfF_587clGskHZqueTxawkONMF723EV6zbvzsTMhFwWan6DgkYiFXjencgqs-VTzo9mfvIcO78MSGhkL9SivZeDXHLCpww/s400/ANTM8.4+Shakespeare+pigeon+eye.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To camera, Shannon comments that “It was kind of annoying,
because it’s not polite to do those type of things”.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFjKXUWZizMrktP2dRU_iRXY43OlZIJ_MnZ3T_uIv3bWVJpUgzYO41kbaTktIpZ2kwCuHHRtIumPJlsHmCRDVlaqMozwxg-5b6aMywXajidHWowGxU77WkJHdmftmFTzysdB1kTg/s1600/ANTM8.3+Tracy+Flick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFjKXUWZizMrktP2dRU_iRXY43OlZIJ_MnZ3T_uIv3bWVJpUgzYO41kbaTktIpZ2kwCuHHRtIumPJlsHmCRDVlaqMozwxg-5b6aMywXajidHWowGxU77WkJHdmftmFTzysdB1kTg/s400/ANTM8.3+Tracy+Flick.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Righto, Tracy Flick. Righto.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">By the time Rhiannon starts to throw food, the jig is up.
June Dally Watkins emerges from the shadows to reveal that she’s been WATCHING
THEM THE WHOLE TIME. The modules are suddenly overcome with posh decorum,
although it’s possibly not quite ladylike for Ashley to comment that her shorts
are ‘stuck to her thing’. It’s possibly also not ladylike for me to call June
Dally Watkins ‘J.D-Dubs’, or to compare J.D-Dubs to that
chattering-teeth dude from Hellraiser, but…</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiErhJ1FS6OUKwwFvGl2eHaIZwAFGM7Sn6E0N7bSUcEhVtCqU_KFGmF5c64A6uq_mTTD7zGIgIgd2NjL4Xh4CSt2aTztVsII-EtD29byM1yV50xZKmR7qYn2JKrzQyUzuRoWt2ISA/s1600/ANTM8.4+JD-Dubs+spying.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiErhJ1FS6OUKwwFvGl2eHaIZwAFGM7Sn6E0N7bSUcEhVtCqU_KFGmF5c64A6uq_mTTD7zGIgIgd2NjL4Xh4CSt2aTztVsII-EtD29byM1yV50xZKmR7qYn2JKrzQyUzuRoWt2ISA/s400/ANTM8.4+JD-Dubs+spying.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_mWOxpCn5nSQpkjFUyKeBWhIP6aPzMpoGogpdDkn59hU_o5xQBnsc-cDoXWzJvdpQu5ggyDAKW_xPzfWo23DF1LZWHT2C2potvRTE-1-8a0lQE-8sy4nLUA8qTfE6KIwu4Qb46w/s1600/ANTM8.4+Hellraiser+chatter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_mWOxpCn5nSQpkjFUyKeBWhIP6aPzMpoGogpdDkn59hU_o5xQBnsc-cDoXWzJvdpQu5ggyDAKW_xPzfWo23DF1LZWHT2C2potvRTE-1-8a0lQE-8sy4nLUA8qTfE6KIwu4Qb46w/s400/ANTM8.4+Hellraiser+chatter.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tell me you don't see it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After implying that a couple of the girls look like whores,
J.D-Dubs gives the scrags an etiquette and posture lesson.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimYFkTQeBhOtA9FkWVvl9Rq9_IeIbd5J5GUPgMJQ08f18AnGZb5EORAOxAJWjN8QnbuQwufzQOeXffrwhLQfOKWDViyggiyDEcRiG4rqZqW5daayWxBKYRY7zcE699wDoC3ZdlBQ/s1600/ANTM8.4+Jade+homeless.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimYFkTQeBhOtA9FkWVvl9Rq9_IeIbd5J5GUPgMJQ08f18AnGZb5EORAOxAJWjN8QnbuQwufzQOeXffrwhLQfOKWDViyggiyDEcRiG4rqZqW5daayWxBKYRY7zcE699wDoC3ZdlBQ/s400/ANTM8.4+Jade+homeless.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Even this homeless dude.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In a nutshell, the girls are taught how to stand up and sit
down. Modelling is </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">hard</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">, you guys.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Some of the girls really listen and take to the
book-balancing challenge like a Duckie to water, although... do we need to explain that this isn't how you get the words from a book into your brain?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsHXtDthajXDpmbF65kV2P1SQ0zHuVw2S7uYbCSVpXBMkZz6qtjlPHAhccDLiN6d3Wh1mWfKjdBypg7pZN2-xgUoI0lvk127SN4aWXwln4I08Vb2-9LsZ883pqpGejtQavXOqeeA/s1600/ANTM8.4+Duckie+book.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsHXtDthajXDpmbF65kV2P1SQ0zHuVw2S7uYbCSVpXBMkZz6qtjlPHAhccDLiN6d3Wh1mWfKjdBypg7pZN2-xgUoI0lvk127SN4aWXwln4I08Vb2-9LsZ883pqpGejtQavXOqeeA/s400/ANTM8.4+Duckie+book.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Also: still the wrong book. Come on, guys.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rhiannon, however, has heard it all before. She says, with
my comments:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>“I guess I don’t take lessons as seriously </i>(OR BUDDHISM, OR
FITNESS)<i>. I mean, I’m older than a lot of the other girls </i>(YOU’RE NINETEEN, I HAVE
A CASSEROLE IN MY FREEZER OLDER THAN YOU)<i>, I’ve had a lot more life experience
</i>(YET YOU CHOSE THAT HAIRCUT)<i>, I don’t need to be taught some things that other
girls need to be taught </i>(LIKE HOW TO BE AN ARSEHOLE FOR EXAMPLE)”<i>.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After a short while, the whole ordeal is over, and J.D-Dubs
farewells the girls by saying “Congratulations, ladies. And don’t waste your
life”.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No, ladies. Don’t waste your life. Spend as much of it as
possible walking up and down the stairs with a fucking book on your head.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Challenged.<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">While frolicking around the pool some time later, Rachael
Finch walks down the stairs of the module mansion because that sort of shit
happens all the time in this wacky place.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Brooke recognises her instantly because both Brooke and
Rachael have at one time been part of the Miss Universe cult. I mean feminist
trigger word. I mean virgin fest. I mean PAGEANT.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rachael tells them that the prize for this week’s challenge
will be paid work in a Nissan commercial, but it’s difficult to hear the next
bit over Shannon’s determined teeth-grinding.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The modules are to get gussied up for a fake red carpet
premiere for a fake movie, facing fake fans, fake paparazzi, fake public, and
real media who haven’t turned their microphones on. The premiering film is ‘Australia’s
Next Top Model: The Movie’, or as I’m calling it:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYH1IBt9rT4xrLVhqW2o51-hoDoyxeYoTaKYebNvzbqV-3c2_oi71xPRFM7EKkXdkfqR019sifJadSSQf0SAllKol-3-9g-WXcsMWaEglCHlezo1VKSzwIkweYLPFi-l0gbo1krQ/s1600/ANTM8.3+Movie+Electric+Boogaloo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="372" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYH1IBt9rT4xrLVhqW2o51-hoDoyxeYoTaKYebNvzbqV-3c2_oi71xPRFM7EKkXdkfqR019sifJadSSQf0SAllKol-3-9g-WXcsMWaEglCHlezo1VKSzwIkweYLPFi-l0gbo1krQ/s400/ANTM8.3+Movie+Electric+Boogaloo.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The girls are taken to the Ritz Cinema individually in
Nissan 370Zs. That’s three numbers and one letter. Easy to remember right? The
ol’ Nissan 2,400P? Easy. Rachael and
Shiny Alex Perry stand by to pass judgement, and to comment whenever anybody
forgets the name of the car, the Nissan Pi To 43 Places.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Every single scrag looks outrageously gorgeous and elegant,
because I’m pretty sure complimenting stylists will get me a free frock. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali overcomes her customary shyness in black lace and
kicks arse, presumably because of that highly irritating being-perfect thing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Despite Shiny Alex Perry’s assumption to the contrary, Maddy
Banana Paddy is confident, remembers the car name (the Nissan 99 Problems) and
is generally just my heterosexual life partner. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Entertainment reporter Elle Halliwell tries to rattle
Melissa by asking her if she’d date Diddles, but she says “No, he’s a bit old
for me”. Diddles has <i>tofu </i>older than
Melissa.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jade does reasonably well despite the fact that I’m not sure
she ever blinks, Abbie gets the car name wrong, and Shiny Alex Perry describes
Rhiannon’s bad posture as looking ‘like a weightlifter that’s done too many lat
pull-downs’. THAT’S A GREAT JOKE FOR THIS SHOW’S DEMOGRAPHIC SHINY ALEX PERRY,
WELL DONE.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Brooke is exactly as elegant and composed as usual until reporter
Elle has another rattling attempt by saying “There’s a rumour going around
right now that you and Didier Cohen are a thing”.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd6yG9Ulq5igs2O6EGWPiK_NAGxlBsrlzk4TurNS_7t5jMwbeL98u6cDg7XI42pG7-Lz8OUDDGmRy7C21dIjMDcy3ObA-jYnz0_e4abeOKkdH-zsgUXSKxYOCyL05xx82FUFzNIQ/s1600/ANTM8.3+Brooke+loses+composure.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd6yG9Ulq5igs2O6EGWPiK_NAGxlBsrlzk4TurNS_7t5jMwbeL98u6cDg7XI42pG7-Lz8OUDDGmRy7C21dIjMDcy3ObA-jYnz0_e4abeOKkdH-zsgUXSKxYOCyL05xx82FUFzNIQ/s400/ANTM8.3+Brooke+loses+composure.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of Taylah from Western Austraylah, Elle asks “Is there
anyone special in your life?”, followed immediately by a suspenseful ad break
and recap of the question, leading us to believe that something incredible is
about to happen.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Taylah finally answers “I have a girlfriend at the moment,
but yeah”, and the crowd erupts with cheers, as it’s the best grammar they’ve
heard all night.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shiny Alex Perry says “She was a complete lady. She was
probed on that question”, which earns him this week’s trophy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlf5hyphenhyphenUGF_gRWzjxgiXh7Y1YRFlsveiShwXRjxPLAP1RocLXG5991-ek2rObUtIvsFqUZaZiljVHisi_eVL8vaeIrcJt73q5XhSdCDjc3lEBV9iXA_60uRQIyiWCXDdqh8MrxQ1g/s1600/ANTM8.3+PROBED+TROPHY.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlf5hyphenhyphenUGF_gRWzjxgiXh7Y1YRFlsveiShwXRjxPLAP1RocLXG5991-ek2rObUtIvsFqUZaZiljVHisi_eVL8vaeIrcJt73q5XhSdCDjc3lEBV9iXA_60uRQIyiWCXDdqh8MrxQ1g/s400/ANTM8.3+PROBED+TROPHY.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Probed trophy. For people who say 'probed'.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie smiles and sets the world on fire, and Dajana is
incredible, even giving the crowd sunblock tips at night, until she’s asked
about the car she arrived in.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Oh my god, you can’t even hear yourself think in it, it’s a
Nissan 350Z”. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">SO. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">CLOSE.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Once she realises, she’s relatively calm and philosophical
about it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh01vMi8_KvuuYF7pzC3KIVcSI-itfm0XIXka9QffVBM2xNmxeH8cNQUsCzxdh2o5VZ-VBgRh26laWW0JM_ECF32aYqRuM7wE-3bkcp5vh8DMXdn29gXuGwHVbBFVuzl7ujW_QJLQ/s1600/ANTM8.3+Dajana+fucks+up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="201" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh01vMi8_KvuuYF7pzC3KIVcSI-itfm0XIXka9QffVBM2xNmxeH8cNQUsCzxdh2o5VZ-VBgRh26laWW0JM_ECF32aYqRuM7wE-3bkcp5vh8DMXdn29gXuGwHVbBFVuzl7ujW_QJLQ/s400/ANTM8.3+Dajana+fucks+up.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shannon, staring into the camera with the determination of
an ice addict trying to hail a taxi, says “On a scale from one to ten of how
determined I was, probably about a hundred? Maybe a hundred and one, somewhere
around there”. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFjKXUWZizMrktP2dRU_iRXY43OlZIJ_MnZ3T_uIv3bWVJpUgzYO41kbaTktIpZ2kwCuHHRtIumPJlsHmCRDVlaqMozwxg-5b6aMywXajidHWowGxU77WkJHdmftmFTzysdB1kTg/s1600/ANTM8.3+Tracy+Flick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFjKXUWZizMrktP2dRU_iRXY43OlZIJ_MnZ3T_uIv3bWVJpUgzYO41kbaTktIpZ2kwCuHHRtIumPJlsHmCRDVlaqMozwxg-5b6aMywXajidHWowGxU77WkJHdmftmFTzysdB1kTg/s400/ANTM8.3+Tracy+Flick.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm a hundred and TWO determined. I win.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After a quick deliberation in which they describe the girls
as exuberant and vivacious, Rachael and Shiny Alex Perry sit the anxuberant and
nervacious modules down in the cinema and flash the three winners’ names up on
the screen – Shannon, Brooke and Shanali.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dajana is devastated, calling it a slap in the face. Maddy
is disappointed, calling it a kick in the guts. Apparently Scrags 2: Electric
Boogaloo is a martial arts movie. PS: Awesome, I love martial arts movies. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The winners shoot their commercial in a Nissan Like A G6.
One of them mentions coffee. Another one mentions champagne. I have now listed
all of the interesting things that happened during the shoot. Next.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Phoy Toys<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Straight out of the ad break we’re reminded of the prizes,
which I think this year include a 20-pack of plastic cups and a live macaw, and
then suddenly we’re at the Mahratta Scool Of Practical Philosophy in the
Sorensen Garden in Wahroonga, a place so magnificent and well-kept that the
editors linger on this spider for eight minutes of the ten-minute scene-setting
montage.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW91EC9wlDqYuZvU8vE4aZ1qpUZ3WSah1AhZQSADeLry3l9nuwA-IGAIXbm-n0ChJkWnhNr6GRWaD44LdqX-nK0NDf2VH8iWjdvXM_Ui5MB194Y88zDPm0MHhR13DVQ9yJaMoU5Q/s1600/ANTM8.4+Irrelevant+Spider.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW91EC9wlDqYuZvU8vE4aZ1qpUZ3WSah1AhZQSADeLry3l9nuwA-IGAIXbm-n0ChJkWnhNr6GRWaD44LdqX-nK0NDf2VH8iWjdvXM_Ui5MB194Y88zDPm0MHhR13DVQ9yJaMoU5Q/s400/ANTM8.4+Irrelevant+Spider.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Diddles is there, and he introduces Derek Henderson, a
charming little man from New Zealand who doesn’t own a comb. Derek announces
that today they’ll be looking for “a modern take on the fufties housewife”,
which he says means “Sophustucated, ilegant, demure end netural”.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wait – is it racist to mock the Kiwi accent? Let’s defer
once again to Adamant Little Guy:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn3oU6y9QTniKTajsSi433R51ZzuYFFsfrKWvMOaLNKcrI5GNoxKyJOrkpa6hRBeXZl-RUKXBnJX5D2XcGWs8srDHLNUuKtn1Eqp55NtR7X5Ub_mpPe0MYD-rEFlXqWupwBdNQZQ/s1600/thats-racist3+%25282%2529.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn3oU6y9QTniKTajsSi433R51ZzuYFFsfrKWvMOaLNKcrI5GNoxKyJOrkpa6hRBeXZl-RUKXBnJX5D2XcGWs8srDHLNUuKtn1Eqp55NtR7X5Ub_mpPe0MYD-rEFlXqWupwBdNQZQ/s1600/thats-racist3+%25282%2529.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">THET'S RACUST.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Frocked up in their fifties ladiness, the modules have posh
elegance coming out the jacksy, like me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ashley’s boobs pose perfectly, and she says “My photo shoots
are my best aspect, much like choosed the write wording my sentingces”. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali is FUCKING BREATHTAKING in a floral dress, and also
in anything that isn’t last week’s puffy vest. She walks along, just blithely being my
favourite.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jade sits elegantly in
a tree in diaphanous blue, and as she’s walking away afterwards, she asks
Diddles what he thought of her performance. He says:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYkYp7Bu0Td41F7WRPMNQnv3aebjjVo3oLucc0LJU6RFrVZwuJqwIX3HQxxZue9pozLKKdGLbf6M1peXtNCAD63eMrYtBYHXMoC9eH2JY2Uug4OPMq7ctngbO6wT8r4420ZJDT1w/s1600/ANTM8.4+Jade+Diddles+reaction.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="273" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYkYp7Bu0Td41F7WRPMNQnv3aebjjVo3oLucc0LJU6RFrVZwuJqwIX3HQxxZue9pozLKKdGLbf6M1peXtNCAD63eMrYtBYHXMoC9eH2JY2Uug4OPMq7ctngbO6wT8r4420ZJDT1w/s400/ANTM8.4+Jade+Diddles+reaction.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Which makes her go:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Cik-7ObzZXQ2l7sUioL2Pptt0VZeGrhadmwLm9XH-fdtSxWxWHs59meT6AKOIXJuzbRhaQamIo3utLOWTBfHZQJFCUC29k80D7Lw_7pEz2Fjfl6PYt0XAgI8YFW6qh_UdRKrIA/s1600/ANTM8.4+Jade+crying.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Cik-7ObzZXQ2l7sUioL2Pptt0VZeGrhadmwLm9XH-fdtSxWxWHs59meT6AKOIXJuzbRhaQamIo3utLOWTBfHZQJFCUC29k80D7Lw_7pEz2Fjfl6PYt0XAgI8YFW6qh_UdRKrIA/s400/ANTM8.4+Jade+crying.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">…and I just wrote a mini-series called <i>From Molehills To Mountains. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Brooke has great shoes and great composure, Dajana looks
like maybe she works at a really girly butcher shop, Shannon asks the
photographer if she can call him ‘Dez’, and Maddy Banana Paddy is adorable and
we are to be married.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Derek tries to get April to look friendly, but she didn’t
download friendly during her last software update. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rhiannon walks out in a fuzzy jumper and Capri pants and I
FINALLY get her. She looks forty, sure, but GOOD forty. She more or less
agrees, saying to camera “I always pull a good photo, I’m not gonna be shy
about that. I think I am one of the genuine contenders, but I don’t think the
girls know it yet”. Oh, if we wait until the end of the show, I’m pretty sure
they’ll realise.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Derek only wants to shoot Melissa’s face. If he can find it,
obviously. To camera, she does this, because she is adorably self-aware…</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgsERMdSD5K0E4kwCHK8rMNi5ofMUs4LfCJt0sP134ZuAbz6K3v_sIOnNlSyZPo2YKUnoffxzAArxS9sBo8QksRiQwIpBF5_QgDxfSyr_FG7m-cqBU-_LaET3uCcePFsyAySYLnw/s1600/ANTM8.4+Melissa+Sevenhead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgsERMdSD5K0E4kwCHK8rMNi5ofMUs4LfCJt0sP134ZuAbz6K3v_sIOnNlSyZPo2YKUnoffxzAArxS9sBo8QksRiQwIpBF5_QgDxfSyr_FG7m-cqBU-_LaET3uCcePFsyAySYLnw/s400/ANTM8.4+Melissa+Sevenhead.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And now she will be Melissa Sevenhead, and Melissa Sevenhead
is STUNNING in this photo shoot, and anybody who doesn’t get her by now is
blind, the end.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Taylah from Western Austraylah looks incredible, but says
that the shoot is “not really her style”, which is like Georges Braque saying
that photo-realism isn’t really his thing or, for the lowbrow amongst you, like
One Direction saying that they’re really not in the mood to be not shit right
now. Taylah follows up with “I’ll handle being a lady really well, because I
don’t think my legs can open in this dress”. Oh what, so you’re a funny lesbian
now?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Abbie is not the most successful lady in the group and hopes
that her ‘inner poshness’ squirts through, while Duckie says she thinks she
looks like Marcia Hines. Which is totally a compliment, unless Duckie likes
solving problems with arm wrestles.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Not advised.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eliminationosity<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s a wonder the gi</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">rls can even walk into the
Eliminatorium, such is the intensity of their shitting-themselves-ness.
Screamin’ J. Hawkins is ready for wordplay in white and gold, Dawso glams it
down in a silk t-shirt, and Diddles is wearing a waistcoat. A WAISTCOAT. Like
one of those investment wankers on Ball Street. Shiny Alex Perry is resplendent
in a tablecloth for a picnic lunch at which the main course is squinting gourd.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The judges look through the phoy-toys, and Dawso asks Brooke
how she liked working with Derek, commenting that he was actually her first
photographer. Shiny Alex Perry zings that “He’s a hundred and seven”, while
Brooke answers “I heard a couple of people making jokes about age, so maybe
that’s why”.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH8Gz34u9-fHfTZtv3zU2pwr_P8_Vo3gvsXXSvfcABWv15q1UcEESXShz7Eke7BoDtnaqrBkNhhfGCW9fLjf4RiZ7JIukytPSb5UAcDTkjHCf9e_0jhC_jGoscSg-8TeHbZsGkIQ/s1600/Copy+of+ANTM8.4+Dawso+offended.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH8Gz34u9-fHfTZtv3zU2pwr_P8_Vo3gvsXXSvfcABWv15q1UcEESXShz7Eke7BoDtnaqrBkNhhfGCW9fLjf4RiZ7JIukytPSb5UAcDTkjHCf9e_0jhC_jGoscSg-8TeHbZsGkIQ/s400/Copy+of+ANTM8.4+Dawso+offended.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Shit just got 75% real.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ashley’s shot is boob-a-boob boobaly boobtown, and Shiny
Alex Perry suggests that she elongate herself. THANKS FOR THE TOTALLY REALISTIC
AND ACHIEVABLE ADVICE THERE, PEZZA.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jade walks up to the judges and suddenly I have an idea for
another mini-series, this one called <i>What
The Fuck Is That On Your Head.<o:p></o:p></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_-CYMUhbqaAYRRDxiQp0KaTCBCRLAdu8srdQZ99gX274aPT_lN-36Kqci-JRsHMTyXhfvePAMaRJIIduu0V7bQP3Oxf6kl6H77xZxn_P9vjLw5PI2rktYWJ9rKmStVODtOGVZUA/s1600/ANTM8.4+Jade+sequel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_-CYMUhbqaAYRRDxiQp0KaTCBCRLAdu8srdQZ99gX274aPT_lN-36Kqci-JRsHMTyXhfvePAMaRJIIduu0V7bQP3Oxf6kl6H77xZxn_P9vjLw5PI2rktYWJ9rKmStVODtOGVZUA/s400/ANTM8.4+Jade+sequel.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I mean why stop there, Jade? Let’s take this to its logical
extension.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiHtVgcQuDOzoU0B7RJXwOMI_IGUIo48rAPXWMsNUI24HLoKP3TzT4S-3LhLnNWro_lmYn6TRZHKCNoRr19Gt1qgh_1idT_T4IW8fbAjWX63U_QtP2RxV_PI1LAlRG7q60GuJPvg/s1600/ANTM8.4+jADE+LOGICAL+EXTENSION.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiHtVgcQuDOzoU0B7RJXwOMI_IGUIo48rAPXWMsNUI24HLoKP3TzT4S-3LhLnNWro_lmYn6TRZHKCNoRr19Gt1qgh_1idT_T4IW8fbAjWX63U_QtP2RxV_PI1LAlRG7q60GuJPvg/s400/ANTM8.4+jADE+LOGICAL+EXTENSION.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I defy you to find any four-year-old with better Photoshop skills.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rhiannon swags up to the desk with smug satisfaction,
awaiting the glorious praise of the judges. Diddles says she doesn’t take
direction well. Shiny Alex Perry says that he doesn’t like the photo, and that
it looks like an old knitwear catalogue picture. And the Amazing Psychic Desk
says:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcK3qhQ_1KeVCLEgSuvN16DQGbF9yr2mh4eNuVB0o-7KRXyMkUDwTwDUiUaAwZfth732tEwtfwdz7C22Sn-X8c6O_k_26yKedp73YW6Cj7MN2pPwnmVTkll1Rbn9aeEFWntKPXjQ/s1600/ANTM8.4+Amazing+Psychic+Desk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcK3qhQ_1KeVCLEgSuvN16DQGbF9yr2mh4eNuVB0o-7KRXyMkUDwTwDUiUaAwZfth732tEwtfwdz7C22Sn-X8c6O_k_26yKedp73YW6Cj7MN2pPwnmVTkll1Rbn9aeEFWntKPXjQ/s400/ANTM8.4+Amazing+Psychic+Desk.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Melissa’s photo not only knocks it out of the park, the park
explodes and sets neighbouring towns on fire. Dawso can't even use her words, such is her rapture - she just says "Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep!"</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDRSfeTmFSPe2m85OMxSjvxTPQ5g0i6A9BtdgtYFufs9_4kEjk3w0ZYKwkMK65G_6lCpwqahAChCmb1sHp4inMvSr2bVL8-ZkABLN8iK85GD26bK_C6fsd1eWUHnsgaZSfu3-zrA/s1600/ANTM8.4+R2D2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDRSfeTmFSPe2m85OMxSjvxTPQ5g0i6A9BtdgtYFufs9_4kEjk3w0ZYKwkMK65G_6lCpwqahAChCmb1sHp4inMvSr2bVL8-ZkABLN8iK85GD26bK_C6fsd1eWUHnsgaZSfu3-zrA/s400/ANTM8.4+R2D2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The judges deliberate sans-scrags, Dawso and Perry agree on
something, a dog roller-skates by holding hands with a talking banana, and the
modules return to hear their fate.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Melissa gets photo of the week/century, names are read out,
Rhiannon shakes her head knowing that she’s already got this series won, and it
finally comes down to Abbie and Rhiannon.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Unbelievably, despite already winning, Rhiannon gets the
laser-head.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheHM3qea7vsSqy3kqb1thJJAQ_dgbKKw-20XKEFhWV8ZI-KhUNtdtXcRlQ3ILVB5HW1Skkaj_9_JqRi2tTSQy3Yal8z89Ox3FlplX9FLvingfeFkMSUTN8oazEHt12bcPsQxvFBg/s1600/ANTM8.4+SAP+laser+eyes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheHM3qea7vsSqy3kqb1thJJAQ_dgbKKw-20XKEFhWV8ZI-KhUNtdtXcRlQ3ILVB5HW1Skkaj_9_JqRi2tTSQy3Yal8z89Ox3FlplX9FLvingfeFkMSUTN8oazEHt12bcPsQxvFBg/s400/ANTM8.4+SAP+laser+eyes.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfKNpqfI2ZUcAqS38dYY6LxHsMJnbHN-xzm5a3E_NQuOFYaEvVLNPdkHW8Tu5IGRp3enP2BEYvXfMktaVTbyFsl61_HzLXjjIk9oWc_ENeXRfYBhHycfQQkrq4EKnmkW9WEbxdbQ/s1600/ANTM8.4+Head+Asplode.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfKNpqfI2ZUcAqS38dYY6LxHsMJnbHN-xzm5a3E_NQuOFYaEvVLNPdkHW8Tu5IGRp3enP2BEYvXfMktaVTbyFsl61_HzLXjjIk9oWc_ENeXRfYBhHycfQQkrq4EKnmkW9WEbxdbQ/s400/ANTM8.4+Head+Asplode.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">But... but I'm so much better tha-GAFLOOMSH</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She cries a lot, and I almost feel sorry for her until she
says “I was really shocked, because I know that there’s girls in the
competition that are weaker than I. I wouldn’t feel that I’m better than
anyone, I just think I’m stronger than some people”.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, in keeping with my retro-sitcom-theme-per-week weird
promise, I think that these lyrics reflect what all those other, inferior girls
would like to say to you right now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bye, Rhiannon. Any last words?</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1geUG-LnSmeBa83dDjk64H8rZvkDSm-JrMRyXaiQ94xl2wHJLdN3E_wWN7o4SxAjxELisW9kOLMZqF9Sd1V2V0a8E6C0N3m41SkTeOi2-Weep-v7iSl-QNksMrDjjaoEjNJdafA/s1600/ANTM8.4+Rhiannon+LAST+WORDS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1geUG-LnSmeBa83dDjk64H8rZvkDSm-JrMRyXaiQ94xl2wHJLdN3E_wWN7o4SxAjxELisW9kOLMZqF9Sd1V2V0a8E6C0N3m41SkTeOi2-Weep-v7iSl-QNksMrDjjaoEjNJdafA/s400/ANTM8.4+Rhiannon+LAST+WORDS.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Exactly.</span></div>
Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-77304891851888669682013-07-23T20:36:00.000+10:002013-07-23T20:36:24.596+10:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Eight #3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One of the things I like about this show is its emphasis on
health and fitness. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You know, like running, jumping, eating right, punching,
drinking blended salads, giving birth to medicine balls, vomiting, that kind of
thing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This week’s entire episode is about keeping your weight
down, your breakfast up, and getting elegantly puffed out. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Put on your sports bra and stuff it with kale, it’s the
‘What Are Your Legs? STEEL SCRAGS!’ episode of <i>Australia’s Next Top Model.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let’s model ‘til we puke.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Housekeeping<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After a lot of thought (four seconds, with gin), I’ve added
two late-comers to the list of contenders for Reality Television’s Most
Overused Catchphrase, which are “This is my dream” and “Give it my all”. They’re
late, but they look strong, like a pregnant weightlifter. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_hmeNy6nEgcIwAdEynKxz71Kl92tmlv0FyMNoZa2KpFqnLeQMdLvYGipfWJBVrc1M5PGgna0kFNxvH0sOPAPDmfzDxGRbIWEZxFxxB7HDuANaB5CACCe5vMQL-OocmBtEcRpyiw/s1600/ANTM8.3+Catchphrase+Log.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_hmeNy6nEgcIwAdEynKxz71Kl92tmlv0FyMNoZa2KpFqnLeQMdLvYGipfWJBVrc1M5PGgna0kFNxvH0sOPAPDmfzDxGRbIWEZxFxxB7HDuANaB5CACCe5vMQL-OocmBtEcRpyiw/s320/ANTM8.3+Catchphrase+Log.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Current leader is “Oh my god”, which is hardly surprising
considering the modules moved into their big ol’ house this week, and also
considering the number of wacky surprise twists those producers keep coming up
with every week, the crazy maniacs. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mind you, in freeze-frame “Oh my god” sometimes looks like
those cards you teach autistic kids about emotions with.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinaSdrWTHoIQluVHkEIOWgTthdNduUnD307cVywyy2gptj6fH5igtvoCQThjNW7Y7mKP6Dg8kWE3O8CihnM_-5OEYHnar-5WQ1TzBP5rlevijf62HsKbvsx6UE4qGRAOzd_a6bBw/s1600/ANTM8.3+OH+MY+GOD1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinaSdrWTHoIQluVHkEIOWgTthdNduUnD307cVywyy2gptj6fH5igtvoCQThjNW7Y7mKP6Dg8kWE3O8CihnM_-5OEYHnar-5WQ1TzBP5rlevijf62HsKbvsx6UE4qGRAOzd_a6bBw/s400/ANTM8.3+OH+MY+GOD1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Incredulity.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqXtjHgrlKfUk_-7LHe14DL4sM46hwx2azMFuCpl-3mM72Onr0Z27I8nCjOJiCwKAGEjlDch7J7tHf4T1Fg0_d-6_Nx1Py99v9kbg8Io-RRawa2Jmyucsc8xCRhT-Pfqs78rgNrw/s1600/ANTM8.3+OH+MY+GOD2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqXtjHgrlKfUk_-7LHe14DL4sM46hwx2azMFuCpl-3mM72Onr0Z27I8nCjOJiCwKAGEjlDch7J7tHf4T1Fg0_d-6_Nx1Py99v9kbg8Io-RRawa2Jmyucsc8xCRhT-Pfqs78rgNrw/s400/ANTM8.3+OH+MY+GOD2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Excitement.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRPbyD-M8tFQgUjxJ5xW1DWB1mTc5GIhRfb25XhPIr6q2VYtWkpCO6KBN6qY_3bsmf_KovYrQ8LfSQCR3uNkcQIFraZX0dyEA6BS4fQzx3diMVqT_TAky70EZGQR8vpxHcSy_UTg/s1600/ANTM8.3+OH+MY+GOD3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRPbyD-M8tFQgUjxJ5xW1DWB1mTc5GIhRfb25XhPIr6q2VYtWkpCO6KBN6qY_3bsmf_KovYrQ8LfSQCR3uNkcQIFraZX0dyEA6BS4fQzx3diMVqT_TAky70EZGQR8vpxHcSy_UTg/s400/ANTM8.3+OH+MY+GOD3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Shock.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrIttoLVmsYXd6R14ZGrFHFaqkg1Pl54BmSl48irRhUNdTGFf90M8dFBOPl8owAnTZGRyYquOe_LuWy1pjZ2Xe6Q4wsc7wAmk4VCby27XN79Op8gLakmymsvEFoW12eyuu36keQQ/s1600/ANTM8.3+OH+MY+GOD4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrIttoLVmsYXd6R14ZGrFHFaqkg1Pl54BmSl48irRhUNdTGFf90M8dFBOPl8owAnTZGRyYquOe_LuWy1pjZ2Xe6Q4wsc7wAmk4VCby27XN79Op8gLakmymsvEFoW12eyuu36keQQ/s400/ANTM8.3+OH+MY+GOD4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I Sat On A Pin.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhICQrBSveHhVNVKU8U9WrOPOLbrHKeJXYZ221VTg_e731rOIBN7R1gbgxP2LTzQyHp-RTCBMhTTOuOauK44ia9ISc5TpLnOoNoLY9o8Lt9-aTTIgzLiW0mb-WvtI50dwgC-JLcjQ/s1600/ANTM8.3+OH+MY+GOD5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="282" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhICQrBSveHhVNVKU8U9WrOPOLbrHKeJXYZ221VTg_e731rOIBN7R1gbgxP2LTzQyHp-RTCBMhTTOuOauK44ia9ISc5TpLnOoNoLY9o8Lt9-aTTIgzLiW0mb-WvtI50dwgC-JLcjQ/s400/ANTM8.3+OH+MY+GOD5.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You Cannot Beat Me, Mr Bond.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm8gXvcOXGaOnYd3GJuEI23jiHr_z3B0BtuHe1v7oMbs_FGm8C-yD9B_8fCp-Kh9qR4ZwuiPN8v-lCfd91ykM0TQ7gD2tCng0vH6tSRssWogbGNZV3-ASi87KtZqSBsw3mbif1IA/s1600/ANTM8.3+OH+MY+GOD6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm8gXvcOXGaOnYd3GJuEI23jiHr_z3B0BtuHe1v7oMbs_FGm8C-yD9B_8fCp-Kh9qR4ZwuiPN8v-lCfd91ykM0TQ7gD2tCng0vH6tSRssWogbGNZV3-ASi87KtZqSBsw3mbif1IA/s400/ANTM8.3+OH+MY+GOD6.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Constipation.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And it’s really no wonder there’s so much wonderment. The
module mansion is unbelievably superb, what with its views, and its walk-in
wardrobes, and its spectacular bathrooms, and its well-stocked Miss Shop, and its… its luxurious… er, what...bedrooms.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTSSeelQ2Tf3KaiDBeEju6t1ru4FNtLYCYs4HK3ASXdg50FBwy3j-1ooE5rnrhTPc8TJtDOYVRUuRzXV1AEwlOwZwdPkdQS-pM_sipZoAAPHKCweEuMrzpk3K8v6SRrg3pl4Es5Q/s1600/ANTM8.3+Majestic+bunk+beds.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTSSeelQ2Tf3KaiDBeEju6t1ru4FNtLYCYs4HK3ASXdg50FBwy3j-1ooE5rnrhTPc8TJtDOYVRUuRzXV1AEwlOwZwdPkdQS-pM_sipZoAAPHKCweEuMrzpk3K8v6SRrg3pl4Es5Q/s400/ANTM8.3+Majestic+bunk+beds.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>MAJESTIC.</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Directly at odds with the health theme this week, Ashley
stubbornly and argumentatively gets appendicitis. She says “Basically I just
got a burning sensation in my spine, and they took me to the hospital and the
hospital said I had really bad appendicitis”.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAa89LMIaEo5lmO1u-sZ1DX8hIJLV4v5w1H_SrqTTWjwiC8FcgT6A1GE3aJ-rfBya5ZTNEdnFqNp73V35Hyr4WzBnf8ciiL9qlVN55DdXC-4Efmzu3JdYPkChyphenhyphenyftl4VCWxbxnzQ/s1600/antm8.3+Hospital.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAa89LMIaEo5lmO1u-sZ1DX8hIJLV4v5w1H_SrqTTWjwiC8FcgT6A1GE3aJ-rfBya5ZTNEdnFqNp73V35Hyr4WzBnf8ciiL9qlVN55DdXC-4Efmzu3JdYPkChyphenhyphenyftl4VCWxbxnzQ/s400/antm8.3+Hospital.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That is one talented hospital.</td></tr>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Learnment</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At the module mansion, there’s an SJHMEOONOMG (Sudden Jen Hawkins Mrs
Everything Out Of Nowhere OH MY GOD), and about the module mansion, Jen says “Become a successful model, and you could have a
multi-million dollar mansion like this one”. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I AM IMMEDIATELY SKEPTICAL. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Plus I found some
other skeptical things which are also skeptical.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5laS3GIw8xfzbxSi6ehV3XiPgnXxv9uu1avsvHPw-rE6oXgpr0iIH0PcUHWqkc54czdQKMB9QbqzOZN_HHf_kcAQHvg3U42ZY4EQP7qgY94BbTDPM1WJZNJX-xSJbPu4bldixwg/s1600/ANTM8.3+Skeptical+dog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5laS3GIw8xfzbxSi6ehV3XiPgnXxv9uu1avsvHPw-rE6oXgpr0iIH0PcUHWqkc54czdQKMB9QbqzOZN_HHf_kcAQHvg3U42ZY4EQP7qgY94BbTDPM1WJZNJX-xSJbPu4bldixwg/s400/ANTM8.3+Skeptical+dog.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Skeptical dog.<br /><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx5D3rCht6iVlviUWVwaY4EhEx9uSkLLMLpDi7P5q5CGGWiwouektkf7MpnvyWuNHo0YtSl7VTNjlhWOmLIrOauiFdMW_lTv9vwSgpMwyWbj_6Yx7LjfYAoNn-PSqqADcCtf9I6w/s1600/ANTM8.3+Skeptical+cat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx5D3rCht6iVlviUWVwaY4EhEx9uSkLLMLpDi7P5q5CGGWiwouektkf7MpnvyWuNHo0YtSl7VTNjlhWOmLIrOauiFdMW_lTv9vwSgpMwyWbj_6Yx7LjfYAoNn-PSqqADcCtf9I6w/s400/ANTM8.3+Skeptical+cat.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Skeptical cat.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSFAR6hShUfx0nXF8CLUFSdEF4VoqkyVYHLkUGRk89zim7uei3iynGoMxPOmwMULZA0clOV9BcHG98nK68z0BY9EG2RE0_KYu0QGTnUeG4xxANpYldLuR5BfZxdM2aluw8lbu29Q/s1600/ANTM8.3+Skeptical+cow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSFAR6hShUfx0nXF8CLUFSdEF4VoqkyVYHLkUGRk89zim7uei3iynGoMxPOmwMULZA0clOV9BcHG98nK68z0BY9EG2RE0_KYu0QGTnUeG4xxANpYldLuR5BfZxdM2aluw8lbu29Q/s400/ANTM8.3+Skeptical+cow.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Skeptical cow.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhECav4aS4eKZrtFgiy-KFy5zl-tMvRuBGdNSfj-z-7l_dheF17a9c4jNWKxl52vNEAN85KDG1LXmBZ83rBwDVuG2g6gdT0Gw3-exTrkjiD043Wei93DibvmgjznOO_RVwFC1NM5w/s1600/ANTM8.3+Skeptical+earthworm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhECav4aS4eKZrtFgiy-KFy5zl-tMvRuBGdNSfj-z-7l_dheF17a9c4jNWKxl52vNEAN85KDG1LXmBZ83rBwDVuG2g6gdT0Gw3-exTrkjiD043Wei93DibvmgjznOO_RVwFC1NM5w/s400/ANTM8.3+Skeptical+earthworm.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Skeptical earthworm.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYlV3AWrVc1ZIwrcPxZdwWKZc4seU0EAZirr5oedeR8fZuIkJ82o41nz_0Bxe7Qq4tk-uc6QAP0QMBrFQX1NRhEb5IRNdKBykOvB01nnbDeBE9D0lpPkkAUV4X4VybHlDTVbx8Cw/s1600/ANTM8.3+Skeptical+kid1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYlV3AWrVc1ZIwrcPxZdwWKZc4seU0EAZirr5oedeR8fZuIkJ82o41nz_0Bxe7Qq4tk-uc6QAP0QMBrFQX1NRhEb5IRNdKBykOvB01nnbDeBE9D0lpPkkAUV4X4VybHlDTVbx8Cw/s400/ANTM8.3+Skeptical+kid1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Skeptical kid.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jen then tells the scrags what the prizes are this year,
which I think include three identical tubes of lip gloss and a goldfish in a
bag. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Speaking of goldfish in a bag, Mrs Everything introduces
personal trainer James Duigan and four hundred and twenty-five plates of junk
food. James is there to talk about how bad junk food is, and says “What I want
you guys to understand is that sugar is a substance that literally drags
collagen out of your face and makes you old”. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrFksNWTvCpUOlY2qEkFJkChMNpD6QOOvDU2sJtVXofE6RZ6NEq4Uuwamg9sO7d3UJD1-fM75LptSI513KP1RVuffx0eBS94OtIOSzIUsQJB2Y3TvARFEj9tRqXSGfNCpHB6BcIQ/s1600/ANTM8.3+Skeptical+kid2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrFksNWTvCpUOlY2qEkFJkChMNpD6QOOvDU2sJtVXofE6RZ6NEq4Uuwamg9sO7d3UJD1-fM75LptSI513KP1RVuffx0eBS94OtIOSzIUsQJB2Y3TvARFEj9tRqXSGfNCpHB6BcIQ/s400/ANTM8.3+Skeptical+kid2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Reeeeaaaally.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">All the girls instantly swear off junk food and reform, as
James crows poetically: “Out with the old and gross, and in with the new and
the fantastic!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK85LtmzCOgWA1yos-eiVoYgiykbJ4XFUtihbfUOQGJgmYMo_XvJkDJ5sOvjGC-_WE13MkNwu3Z8b2_XUPWFJ3wSZuqJ4tq6kVNeU-2KaKRy3sSn7WqwWm0C2HRIKOuSAtA2qd7g/s1600/ANTM8.3+Shakespeare.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="345" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK85LtmzCOgWA1yos-eiVoYgiykbJ4XFUtihbfUOQGJgmYMo_XvJkDJ5sOvjGC-_WE13MkNwu3Z8b2_XUPWFJ3wSZuqJ4tq6kVNeU-2KaKRy3sSn7WqwWm0C2HRIKOuSAtA2qd7g/s400/ANTM8.3+Shakespeare.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He's so bardy-conscious.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">James then makes a green smoothie from spinach, cucumber,
celery and ginger, telling the girls that ‘just about every model I know has
this just about every day when they can’, which is like James Gleeson saying
he’s sometimes sort of inspired by sea creatures mostly when he feels like it
or, for the lowbrow amongst you, like Kanye West saying that he might spend a
little bit of time being a bit of a cock once he gets ‘round to it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is around this time that Taylor tells us she’s never had
celery before. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipxTW03IzDDd1tbI876tZgqu7Pkke4yjKwpuq1-hj_dTOeKG_Qai5sAW7rh2nYlE4CTDYKQQ9Gll1-2Kn1HX0rm5BiC6eioIvOfcOe2PCyIeWAGXSMWAAnTWuknyio4T4SMpTXZw/s1600/ANTM8.3+Skeptical+kid3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipxTW03IzDDd1tbI876tZgqu7Pkke4yjKwpuq1-hj_dTOeKG_Qai5sAW7rh2nYlE4CTDYKQQ9Gll1-2Kn1HX0rm5BiC6eioIvOfcOe2PCyIeWAGXSMWAAnTWuknyio4T4SMpTXZw/s400/ANTM8.3+Skeptical+kid3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Reeeeaaaallly.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">April the French Robot says that the only form of ginger
she’s ever had is in gingerbread, to which everyone replies “What do you <i>MEAN</i> you’ve never had celery before?!?”, because whatever, APRIL.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Suddenly and unexpectedly, a segment about health and celery
gets boring. Nothing to do but chuck a bunch of food in the bin and go to bed,
I guess. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">BUT NOT FOR LONG.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Challenged.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Extremely early in the morning, a Jen Mail drags the scrags
out of bed and into the loungeroom to watch a video by a thing called Candice
Swanepoel, which I have just learned is not a bacteria. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Melissa calls her “the face of Victoria’s Secret”, as if
faces matter to Victoria’s Secret.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Taylor says “I knew she was a sort of big person, but I didn’t
know who she was”, which makes Candice exactly like celery.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Regardless, Candice speaks briefly about fitness as is required by law, and then
instructs the modules to get changed into clothes they’ll find in their
bedrooms and get ready to leave. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">OH MY GOD WHAT KIND OF CLOTHES MIGHT THEY BE, ARE THEY
CELERY CLOTHES, BECAUSE I’VE NEVER HEARD OF THOSE.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Melissa, discovering fitness shoes, a fitness top and
fitness leggings, guesses that they’ll be doing something fitness-related. That
girl sure has a great big brain inside her totally, totally normal-sized head.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A quick Nissan sponsored Nissan car-trip Nissan into the
sticks Nissan later, and the scrags are in a swampy-looking park with James
waiting for them. He announces that this week’s challenge is so big that he’s
going to need back-up, heralding the entrance of the retarded little
work-experience kid.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm8Bmn5PXyU6LMtY413McJEKraiKCnF4Wu475N3rbkUixGser8LdTHudUuTSbo1_s2ljF-rS6qQMyiMoJ2Ln3Zv72SPeg_0PLoOA3xcNSBTz3C2GzzQKx59KuFssw5AfdyS9Hw0A/s1600/ANTM8.3+Diddles+retarded+work+experience.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm8Bmn5PXyU6LMtY413McJEKraiKCnF4Wu475N3rbkUixGser8LdTHudUuTSbo1_s2ljF-rS6qQMyiMoJ2Ln3Zv72SPeg_0PLoOA3xcNSBTz3C2GzzQKx59KuFssw5AfdyS9Hw0A/s400/ANTM8.3+Diddles+retarded+work+experience.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I ARE RIDE MY BIKE BRRRRRMMMMMM</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Except it’s our Diddles, and he’s putting the modules
through a 1KM army-style obstacle course, complete with net crawl (in faeces)
sandbags (full of faeces), trauma tunnels (through which faeces comes), tyre
rolls (faeces), a cable-drum leap (not actually sure what that is), barbed wire (barbed
wire) and faeces.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The winner gets two prizes: two thousand dollars’ worth of
gym gear…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6qMHSt-DU7tnMRF0M6xtQMeSOo3Sl4tz533LxKT6Zx1TSlAulYxujh-uFwfOsokQKREl815rWbEJbbu6oWEX2tZ52P3vKVP2XrQokzhNCYyeB0reIKrmWNBNAhz5vRYwh9igoPg/s1600/ANTM8.3+OMG+fitness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6qMHSt-DU7tnMRF0M6xtQMeSOo3Sl4tz533LxKT6Zx1TSlAulYxujh-uFwfOsokQKREl815rWbEJbbu6oWEX2tZ52P3vKVP2XrQokzhNCYyeB0reIKrmWNBNAhz5vRYwh9igoPg/s400/ANTM8.3+OMG+fitness.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">OH MY GOD!!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">…and a year’s supply of James’s health supplements.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqG8qLuDqInpzrELhCP-NltVsBPhqNm3lIMpF5jv129qdOY-AqqeONBWW30QqN3nWPLApOBD0bZgyPXwuny_togclntT4lNSbK_9PW-3qd6kD-XTD7DatEfWPkFLQ4i_QvEgLLKQ/s1600/ANTM8.3+OMG+health+supplement.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="272" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqG8qLuDqInpzrELhCP-NltVsBPhqNm3lIMpF5jv129qdOY-AqqeONBWW30QqN3nWPLApOBD0bZgyPXwuny_togclntT4lNSbK_9PW-3qd6kD-XTD7DatEfWPkFLQ4i_QvEgLLKQ/s400/ANTM8.3+OMG+health+supplement.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There was supposed to be a cricket noise here but the cricket died.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Before starting the challenge, everyone prepares by smearing
mud on their face, except Duckie.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pardon?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh. Oh, right. Um.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Everybody smears mud on their face.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHPpTdQi6BCCTxzMtQH3Uy_jLlNfCDVdcCNRrxQZFk4IHGwf543wGzCvaf-LALmBNq1Wo2ilzvsqcTFGdeT9H8O0PVzFtkdInZLdTsjB8YdKWPR246urTBbeVPmYujslbzEftB4Q/s1600/thats-racist3.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHPpTdQi6BCCTxzMtQH3Uy_jLlNfCDVdcCNRrxQZFk4IHGwf543wGzCvaf-LALmBNq1Wo2ilzvsqcTFGdeT9H8O0PVzFtkdInZLdTsjB8YdKWPR246urTBbeVPmYujslbzEftB4Q/s400/thats-racist3.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Calm your tits, Adamant Little Guy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jade is a fucking gun. Maddy Banana Paddy is unfazed because she’s used to mud, which is a great quality in a model. April doesn’t short-circuit in the water despite the
fact that French robots are usually only designed to withstand wine. Taylor has a little whinge, Duckie takes
forever to work her way through a ground-intestine to Taylor’s intense and
malnourished annoyance, Rhiannon comes last because she’s still exhausted from
ridiculing Buddhism last week, and Brooke announces that there was “100% pooh
in there”. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, I don’t care how awesome your blog is, don’t go doing a
Google image search for “100% pooh”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You shouldn’t trust me very often, but that’s pretty much a
sure thing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jade wins, Brooke comes second, Taylor has trouble
breathing, and Dajana yacks her bikkies up all over the grass. What better time to stereotypically
exaggerate her ethnic heritage, right?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRdhmwgnxbxLGY0W39YqRsZhIu2UDDdOlNhu_gqepLR7qNCBAKypYnqNjnvzodJIaKjkr6LjgDSWKpTK2YwRMyAIYqiXFgwVc3-xjxxBnTs2owxgl1qIVPTeTQj1NR0evShwC0aQ/s1600/ANTM8.3+Dajana+vomit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRdhmwgnxbxLGY0W39YqRsZhIu2UDDdOlNhu_gqepLR7qNCBAKypYnqNjnvzodJIaKjkr6LjgDSWKpTK2YwRMyAIYqiXFgwVc3-xjxxBnTs2owxgl1qIVPTeTQj1NR0evShwC0aQ/s400/ANTM8.3+Dajana+vomit.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Also I gagged the whole time getting this screen-shot, but I did it FOR YOU.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Diddles tells the modules that he’s proud of them, and that
there’s a present waiting for them back at the house. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So the girls not only get to vomit, they also get free shit.
Free shit that’s different to the free shit they got this morning in the free
shit room, and also different to the free shit that they found in their
bedrooms in the house full of free shit that they’re living in until somebody
finally wins a whole lot of free shit. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And also sunglasses.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then suddenly, just to bum everyone out, Ashley comes home with her surgery wound and her pain and everything. WHATEVER, ASHLEY.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(For an explanation of the above, see Appendix A)*</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No but seriously, welcome back, Ashley. Welcome back. And in
keeping with my stupid thing where I include an old sit-com theme every week,
might I also say…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/5VlGyMG0ksg?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Welcome Back, Kotter!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Go ask your mum what that means.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We go to a break and a voice-over reminds us of the prizes again
(they’re the same as before except we’re pretty sure the goldfish is dead). </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Phoy-Toys<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">HEY LOOK, IT’S DAWSO. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She’s at the gym, because god forbid we’d forget this week’s
theme, huh. She introduces the scrags to the concept of a ‘sports luxe’ photo
shoot and introduces photographer Justin Ridler who, somewhat unexpectedly for
a softly-spoken gent in spectacles, instructs the girls to get greased up. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Everyone gets bronzed, greased, braided, and dressed in the
sexiest of sexy fitness gear.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Except Shanali. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For whatever reason, Shanali is dressed in the charred and
greasy remains of the Michelin Man after a very serious tanker explosion.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXn12TL7-umvjYwKBrW2OEGKS5mRVHC7MvU9ZQ55oXelTnMj6htfNyI6eJxh1WoUWLdybWr_0wX9E6EvXIqT9vnnQux2Vp3B2gNGOrOgGk83OjtSy53z942u5OfMQnrEkNpVG2FQ/s1600/ANTM8.3+Shanali+Michelin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXn12TL7-umvjYwKBrW2OEGKS5mRVHC7MvU9ZQ55oXelTnMj6htfNyI6eJxh1WoUWLdybWr_0wX9E6EvXIqT9vnnQux2Vp3B2gNGOrOgGk83OjtSy53z942u5OfMQnrEkNpVG2FQ/s400/ANTM8.3+Shanali+Michelin.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">But she seems totally relaxed about it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In modelling competitions, as in hangovers, puffiness is not
necessarily solely the domain of losers, however.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You’re still my favourite, Shanali. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Even though, seriously, what the puffy fuck. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What else?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In her let’s-take-you-aside-for-just-a-moment interview,
Shannon stares icily and determinedly into our very souls and says clearly and surely
“Whatever they throw at me, I will do. I can be Australia’s Top Model”. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And I realise that perhaps she’s not Brooke Shields. Perhaps
she’s Tracy Flick.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0Oto6maMVkqpKM-K_S4P9fJ9zwRMIarpXsHAYNA3KC9q5LSEDcjmENtHHVdb8BdOI0EY8rrsXo-k_V0gGF-AdD0Qol5ESfizvL82_vRiltkbZUCGarKQzEMP362IrKlBt-t38nA/s1600/ANTM8.3+Shannon+Flick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0Oto6maMVkqpKM-K_S4P9fJ9zwRMIarpXsHAYNA3KC9q5LSEDcjmENtHHVdb8BdOI0EY8rrsXo-k_V0gGF-AdD0Qol5ESfizvL82_vRiltkbZUCGarKQzEMP362IrKlBt-t38nA/s400/ANTM8.3+Shannon+Flick.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW_PMZwgUZv2UeEkBIyXrLkhyV0ZydT2Ol55hW5JaRIsWJMf3HBEjcjOVQsA3G6bb-D4wWItkDaDnjw4goLMbsTyFKdwF9QZKcwx4jq16HLUe-kJUH5WfBvn4x4GBsk5Q1PmYGlw/s1600/ANTM8.3+Tracy+Flick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW_PMZwgUZv2UeEkBIyXrLkhyV0ZydT2Ol55hW5JaRIsWJMf3HBEjcjOVQsA3G6bb-D4wWItkDaDnjw4goLMbsTyFKdwF9QZKcwx4jq16HLUe-kJUH5WfBvn4x4GBsk5Q1PmYGlw/s400/ANTM8.3+Tracy+Flick.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We're pretty much fucked.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This particular shoot is MADE for Taylah from Western
Austraylah, who can cut glass with her jaw, and flesh with her inevitable
leotard-wedgie.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie is good until she smiles, at which time the entire
room explodes with outstanding Olympic exuberance.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jade in a crop top and red leather shorts makes me want to
do sit-ups for four days.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Melissa looks a lot like a doll wearing a fitness outfit,
and everybody knows that dolls do not wear fitness outfits.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkM-yArsKCFhY8dTZ06f5AjMHW_dsbjKOfp4hxS3YAhEXhce5HuQZutf-R0uAgnGJtlk0PJirGx3tOxW24PoO1eJ5mBp9uzRVPLt1OLBaR1NjDdoa_Bjwsikm8DHVLGgPUDlrI9w/s1600/ANTM8.3+Barbie+fitness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkM-yArsKCFhY8dTZ06f5AjMHW_dsbjKOfp4hxS3YAhEXhce5HuQZutf-R0uAgnGJtlk0PJirGx3tOxW24PoO1eJ5mBp9uzRVPLt1OLBaR1NjDdoa_Bjwsikm8DHVLGgPUDlrI9w/s400/ANTM8.3+Barbie+fitness.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">SHUT UP BARBIE NOBODY ASKED YOU</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">During her shoot, Rhiannon says “It was actually really
funny because first I just sat on top of one medicine ball and Charlotte said
make sure you sit between two, because it looks like you’re giving birth to it, so that was funny”. Yeah, not as funny as Buddhism, but not bad.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maddy struggles with over-thinking (right? That’s a thing)
at first, but then stops thinking (that's a thing also) and BOOM! There it is. A farm
whose main crop is awesomeness, sexiness, and let's be besties.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shannon looks amazing, but more importantly she is
DETERMINED and GODDAMN if Mr McAllister is going to STOP her from winning this
ELECTION.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">April gets some good shots, but Charlotte worries that she
only has one look. All April really has to do is update her software to include
FACES 6.0 and she’ll be sweet. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Taylor looks like a boxer. Well, her <i>outfit</i> looks like it once <i>belonged</i>
to a boxer. Taylor herself looks like flannel-dusted, bored twig. Charlotte
gets her to punch towards the camera, pretending it’s something she doesn’t
like, so she pretends it’s everything.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dajana, Brooke, and Abbie are all now in a gang called ABS
N’ BRAIDS, the membership criteria for which are being hot, having cheekbones,
and looking like you’re in an Eighties movie and if you don’t dance to save the
community centre, the orphans will die. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ashley does her shoot lying down because what, she’s lazy or
something. Probably. I didn't really have time to look up what an appendix is.
Presumably a milkshake. Lazy people like milkshakes.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eliminationosity<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eventually everyone no doubt jogs and does burpees towards
the Eliminatorium, where Jen is dressed in pink (ready for wordplay), Dawso is
dressed in floral (ready to be a garden), Diddles is dressed in a shirt and
tie (ready for a job interview) and Shiny Alex Perry is also dressed in a shirt
and tie (ready for a job interview for a company that specialises in squinting
and making shirts two sizes too small. His chances at getting the job are outstanding). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We trawl through the phitness photographs, during which:</span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">a)<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Dajana
proves herself to be quite good at bringing the quotes (not just the vomit), so
I’m betting one thousand dollars that she’ll get that
most-popular-favourite-model prize thingy at the finale;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">b)<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Dawso
and Shiny Alex Perry agree with each other TWICE, dogs and cats become friends, I can smell colours and a satellite falls suddenly out of the sky; </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">c)<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->All
of the photos are bullshit perfect amazing (except for Shanali’s, but I still
love you, sweetie); and</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">d)<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->I
make an unnecessarily bullet-pointed list, because I’m totally the boss here.
Right, Amazing Psychic Desk?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0Xy8guC50q29BjCmS26Rxn9GjPE_KQafYq8xIxZ7MyFfkVgG70-yRzyPUCsi5cFXLT8_z5H5kqmwmYskoVZs2o5qYfw-Ke87ktmZwLlysMoboq1kW2j3sbKef3DD23dolx0dhvQ/s1600/ANTM8+3+-+aMAZING+Psychic+Desk+final.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0Xy8guC50q29BjCmS26Rxn9GjPE_KQafYq8xIxZ7MyFfkVgG70-yRzyPUCsi5cFXLT8_z5H5kqmwmYskoVZs2o5qYfw-Ke87ktmZwLlysMoboq1kW2j3sbKef3DD23dolx0dhvQ/s400/ANTM8+3+-+aMAZING+Psychic+Desk+final.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Why do I even include you, Amazing Psychic Desk.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The judges deliberate, and zing-of-the-week must go to Shiny
Alex Perry, who says of Taylor “I don’t think she’s photogenic, and it’s
pushing shit uphill”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoFIsTNEkE3DMyPpHJzIOvHsKfX57OqloRtQN9L3JlNU5mpvhVw3AEX8PBlKKH3ewCT466WzRCmhg_W3Ylm-bXlj4nfgyu0yl_FHRB7IDJpUwLrf05nOmPVqlq29fgJwqIJhQPnQ/s1600/ANTM8.3+Pulling+Pooh+up+stairs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoFIsTNEkE3DMyPpHJzIOvHsKfX57OqloRtQN9L3JlNU5mpvhVw3AEX8PBlKKH3ewCT466WzRCmhg_W3Ylm-bXlj4nfgyu0yl_FHRB7IDJpUwLrf05nOmPVqlq29fgJwqIJhQPnQ/s400/ANTM8.3+Pulling+Pooh+up+stairs.jpg" width="296" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Um, no, that's pulling Pooh upstairs.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Taylah from Western Austraylah gets photo of the week, and
names are called until it’s down to just Maddy Banana Paddy and No-Celery Taylor.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eight years pass, I do the grocery shopping for the week,
and it’s Dawso’s turn to do the laser-eyes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnd8ktoiD2UHHN9phJyRIHsfY_gFMiSNABRmGjnXQudmWe37n-GoIAAuawSFS5aMi8Q0qB-dVxO7y1owaYSXMyqJYCe9bSArfWd0_ZxaMDj47mCWXMbgeLS_bYqzOyjbPEnbjWZQ/s1600/ANTM8.3+Charlotte+up+eyes+-+laser.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnd8ktoiD2UHHN9phJyRIHsfY_gFMiSNABRmGjnXQudmWe37n-GoIAAuawSFS5aMi8Q0qB-dVxO7y1owaYSXMyqJYCe9bSArfWd0_ZxaMDj47mCWXMbgeLS_bYqzOyjbPEnbjWZQ/s400/ANTM8.3+Charlotte+up+eyes+-+laser.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No, sweetie...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-i026N_1y6lMY3FIPVL5DsEDuwu9Ck-nMXJxzFK8YrwaMTM78h7PueLBKtK_Zp2e4BUg1CtWS79DZTW_zRCSIMo_YKRX5t1lm8THFkX5H3Vl_9GnXaeoAu9lKU2mnyPPypMFa4g/s1600/ANTM8.3+Charlotte+crossed+eyes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="348" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-i026N_1y6lMY3FIPVL5DsEDuwu9Ck-nMXJxzFK8YrwaMTM78h7PueLBKtK_Zp2e4BUg1CtWS79DZTW_zRCSIMo_YKRX5t1lm8THFkX5H3Vl_9GnXaeoAu9lKU2mnyPPypMFa4g/s400/ANTM8.3+Charlotte+crossed+eyes.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jesus...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No….</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh, fuck it. Do the honours, Pezza?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2kJbOJRjv8rkWkOn523rZ6kRIq73NhoK38FSG3Kk8Phc9ibAYNAk22LnlBFtPaWIOw3GMUUAGVxEBEigfwzX8KizSf2ksxwfh0nLQlD0E-VH0mEKnj_eMq2x_xx3pFxVm_oTE8A/s1600/ANTM8.3+AP+laser+eyes+(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2kJbOJRjv8rkWkOn523rZ6kRIq73NhoK38FSG3Kk8Phc9ibAYNAk22LnlBFtPaWIOw3GMUUAGVxEBEigfwzX8KizSf2ksxwfh0nLQlD0E-VH0mEKnj_eMq2x_xx3pFxVm_oTE8A/s400/ANTM8.3+AP+laser+eyes+(2).jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQNjwxdl8S8b2Ji0-BWwwWViUhFm7Jwje_YmqsiXH2DNRa-ViugSGvNkDtgkvNxBR1al7_MZHiC52Pydv3AhpES9SmjvLq3MzAvF_owMyNrv9dTiWhRYlM0tZk36P31-u4WVr7NA/s1600/ANTM8.3+Final+Head+Asplode.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQNjwxdl8S8b2Ji0-BWwwWViUhFm7Jwje_YmqsiXH2DNRa-ViugSGvNkDtgkvNxBR1al7_MZHiC52Pydv3AhpES9SmjvLq3MzAvF_owMyNrv9dTiWhRYlM0tZk36P31-u4WVr7NA/s400/ANTM8.3+Final+Head+Asplode.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">THANK you.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bye, Taylor! Any last words?</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcLe4YUNO2zCnFFYd1KEp_NAPfDbv6HCQlvGEdUw_ywvyRUfabpwJ3a2vqlLCORrEfcMRZ8GTtVxwutMH2UbIwVvE8KuUhtzbkVLL1Ngrad5l9pPo9yreTm230gJeBGLYe8LE4DQ/s1600/antm8.3+CELERY.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcLe4YUNO2zCnFFYd1KEp_NAPfDbv6HCQlvGEdUw_ywvyRUfabpwJ3a2vqlLCORrEfcMRZ8GTtVxwutMH2UbIwVvE8KuUhtzbkVLL1Ngrad5l9pPo9yreTm230gJeBGLYe8LE4DQ/s400/antm8.3+CELERY.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Exactly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">*THERE IS NO APPENDIX, SHE HAD IT REMOVED, DER.</span></div>
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Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-6920347850839877072013-07-16T20:43:00.001+10:002013-07-16T20:43:41.183+10:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Eight #2<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of the following things normally associated with models,
which is the odd thing out?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">a) A good old-fashioned arse-flashing;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">b) A good old-fashioned tongue-piercing;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">c) A good old-fashioned mauling of the English
language; or</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">d) Cultural sensitivity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That’s right. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It are d).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pack your bags, jump on an obscure budget airline, and touch
as many people on the head as possible, it’s the ‘Thai Me Kangaroo Down, Scrag’
episode of <i>Australia’s Next Top Model.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="border-bottom: dotted windowtext 3.0pt; border: none; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0cm 0cm 1.0pt 0cm;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: dotted windowtext 3.0pt; mso-padding-alt: 0cm 0cm 1.0pt 0cm; padding: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s Pratanum Comedy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Housekeeping.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We now have opening credits, with the scrags’ names and
everything! Now we can put names to faces, unlike that little dangly bit at the
back of your throat, because WHAT is the name of that thing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Speaking of things:</span></div>
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</div>
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</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-kyI34K747P1gi3GuRAciJ7Oi6fuzpDc9d8G4CI_SWXCa3GdHNX2WYkQlPEpSIHeGsFGGurh8W3kS_8_SVxEFkHCmL5ynOSlUNXTZ0IsT3THjzzwV592h6Brt54oWkMNUQR0uhQ/s1600/ANTM8.2+Catchphrase+log.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-kyI34K747P1gi3GuRAciJ7Oi6fuzpDc9d8G4CI_SWXCa3GdHNX2WYkQlPEpSIHeGsFGGurh8W3kS_8_SVxEFkHCmL5ynOSlUNXTZ0IsT3THjzzwV592h6Brt54oWkMNUQR0uhQ/s320/ANTM8.2+Catchphrase+log.jpg" width="309" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s been a slow week in the quest to find Australia’s Most
Overused Catchphrase, with a lot of the classics scoring zero, just like George
Michael in a driving test, or me counting the number of free frocks Alex Perry
has given me even though I’ve Photoshopped him with actual laser eyes this
year. The current tally leader is ‘expensive’, with only 2 points this week for
‘journey’ which I think might actually be an arrestable offence in this
country.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Aaaand we’re off to the exotic Asian destination of
Thailand. As Dajana puts it, “When Jen told us that we were going to Thailand I
went absolutely beserk, my like, legs were on the ceiling”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Her legs, right, were on the ceiling. I customarily defer to
Lionel Richie at times like this. Thoughts, Lionel?</span></div>
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</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKWKGAQC5b0e9DOXFBwBWGfl67lDPQ6Eb8UiLu6w__2BzbLD9USpB0ot0_w8-44F9j2yFVJ9BcjCYRV_kg9MwPRt2CZudzrgzzYOIEhJ2woCRak69xZL3e99P_9r3j92XVJrIPBA/s1600/ANTM8.2+Lionel+Richie+Ceiling.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKWKGAQC5b0e9DOXFBwBWGfl67lDPQ6Eb8UiLu6w__2BzbLD9USpB0ot0_w8-44F9j2yFVJ9BcjCYRV_kg9MwPRt2CZudzrgzzYOIEhJ2woCRak69xZL3e99P_9r3j92XVJrIPBA/s400/ANTM8.2+Lionel+Richie+Ceiling.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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</div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I COULDN’T TELL YOU, LIONEL. Let’s ask the legs.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWenvIYU2KkWqaflwXEVhUVs-uZHIAohLzIKfPrAmFERTjK2KNB0dHvGFM1-SA7R5gQcVCtfn9my7Gas-OrAUqTy7XX5hlaDptWmofUVhvrkqAvbUyw4vyaTUxZWBHLkV97SGzQQ/s1600/ANTM8.2+Legs+ceiling.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWenvIYU2KkWqaflwXEVhUVs-uZHIAohLzIKfPrAmFERTjK2KNB0dHvGFM1-SA7R5gQcVCtfn9my7Gas-OrAUqTy7XX5hlaDptWmofUVhvrkqAvbUyw4vyaTUxZWBHLkV97SGzQQ/s400/ANTM8.2+Legs+ceiling.jpg" width="308" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Yes, it's you we're looking for.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A quick Thai montage later, and </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">we arrive at the Hotel Muse, where Chanique
muses “We saw massive billboards everywhere, and it was all written in Thai”,
because I have to give you an IQ frame of reference for what she says next.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The modules are greeted at the hotel with complementary
drinks, at which point Chanique says, with customary Australian questioning
intonation: “I think they said it was butterfly pee?”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That’s right. And after five almost wasted minutes on
Wikipedia, I finally found a picture of a butterfly pee farm.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp-CWYJnEJVAyaqZOgarBPU_slTuM7hKcWX0FChTLUiCYuOmkQCwHUcwE9qqffCXJr5cKMGLQ8aHea67ho8_9C8bPiLc80oNDhF6KCFhfwMASl5e8xUslSpwZrojIzOsxEB45z_g/s1600/ANTM8.2+Butterfly+pee+farm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp-CWYJnEJVAyaqZOgarBPU_slTuM7hKcWX0FChTLUiCYuOmkQCwHUcwE9qqffCXJr5cKMGLQ8aHea67ho8_9C8bPiLc80oNDhF6KCFhfwMASl5e8xUslSpwZrojIzOsxEB45z_g/s400/ANTM8.2+Butterfly+pee+farm.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After squealing at the embroidered pillow cases, the cotton
for which was bought with the money they saved on flights on well-known Scoot
Airlines, the girls quickly fulfil their mandatory pillow-fight obligations,
followed by a quick break so that straight male viewers of the show can clean
themselves up a bit. Yes, both of them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Morning comes, and it’s time for another Thailand montage –
Tuk-tuks, policemen, traffic, and this dog.</span></div>
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</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnJ9jPNs4xqulzaOkmuouw85daB6TBz6Cw5O-VMtjB_doyGt2WP92CbQkkTeI4XZhS78PslGWpm0SkVgb9ZQwUqdl7uwtsnWvesQAt5g8hDJdsPp8GJg7UuiUJe4VS2fRPaNn8wg/s1600/ANTM8.2+Unimpressed+dog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnJ9jPNs4xqulzaOkmuouw85daB6TBz6Cw5O-VMtjB_doyGt2WP92CbQkkTeI4XZhS78PslGWpm0SkVgb9ZQwUqdl7uwtsnWvesQAt5g8hDJdsPp8GJg7UuiUJe4VS2fRPaNn8wg/s400/ANTM8.2+Unimpressed+dog.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Just look at this little guy with his world-weary canine ennui. LOOK AT HIM.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Learnment<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Whilst frolicking nonchalantly in the pool specifically to
make me feel bad about my body, Dajana commentates the situation with “We’re
all splashing each other, having some fun, and then this waiter just comes out
of nowhere”. NOWHERE.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZOSo7Z_sSRW1gsKzeEJyf6z9Iqk6E_h1kvZu4_n-q1WQOPbGD_GXVUDyj5lUnnuxCcZuETC0ja6W42lSrC9tdyaiVHSvLDlz_3Cz9UFCowTJAUbOzgjdifewQNxLNH9G-dKyDqg/s1600/ANTM8.2+Surprise+Waiter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="126" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZOSo7Z_sSRW1gsKzeEJyf6z9Iqk6E_h1kvZu4_n-q1WQOPbGD_GXVUDyj5lUnnuxCcZuETC0ja6W42lSrC9tdyaiVHSvLDlz_3Cz9UFCowTJAUbOzgjdifewQNxLNH9G-dKyDqg/s400/ANTM8.2+Surprise+Waiter.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Because nowhere is a door now.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The waiter passes the girls an envelope. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">ERIKA MAIL!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I mean</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">JODHI MAIL!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I mean</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">SARAH MAIL!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I mean </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">JEN MAIL!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I mean <i>really</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The girls arrive at a temple to the sound of flutes and of
Dajana saying “We got these weird unflattering white costumes and we had no
idea, I thought we were going to see some asylum or some psych ward or
something’. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No. Just Charlotte Dawson.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Which is marginally more topical than is perhaps
comfortable, but let’s move on.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shannon’s impression is different to Dajana’s, and she says
‘We ended up at the most beautiful temple that I could ever imagine’.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I dunno, Shannon. I’m sure you can imagine some very nice
temples.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBhv2XCO3X1O0Lp54mDIvhyphenhyphenWOsN10ZAxe58kFkVn9ECWROB_0A4M5Lcvv2lEYkxo9drg28fW9cOscWssjPFw1ohXub2FIIl-cLztIJ5xFOfLGHF0tZqz371MLVWSCoI2sHT-is-w/s1600/ANTM8.2+Shannon+temple.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBhv2XCO3X1O0Lp54mDIvhyphenhyphenWOsN10ZAxe58kFkVn9ECWROB_0A4M5Lcvv2lEYkxo9drg28fW9cOscWssjPFw1ohXub2FIIl-cLztIJ5xFOfLGHF0tZqz371MLVWSCoI2sHT-is-w/s400/ANTM8.2+Shannon+temple.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>And that's where they keep the religions.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawso greets them with an excellent hairdo and a far less
excellent Thai accent, and explains what they’re doing there: “Modelling is
very much about your external beauty, but today we’re going to see how you
shine from the inside, because model bookers are always totally swayed by your
inner peace and not just by your symmetry and oddly jutting collarbones, shut
up we’re making a show here it doesn’t have to always be realistic so you guys
on the forums can just SHUT UP”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That’s exactly what she says. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The modules enter the temple, and Jade says sagely “I
studied Buddhism at university, so to finally meet monks was something really
special for me. I was surprised they weren’t swinging from the trees eating
bananas, though. Weird.”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That’s exactly what she says.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Everyone sits on the floor and a wise monk raps to them
about life. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhoR_SFZVt1tayZ0f_UPsIoC8R-iBLfdYm_hTpJTLujYqxu6LvlFAewUbJ5Lk_mJwISsNOjpdaHYi2wdAjcRUoW48SlxOOcq2Shz_fs9xMhbnlzgCfX3P6GQP7kC0lgv_4B4vDqw/s1600/ANTM8.2+Monk+subtitle+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="346" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhoR_SFZVt1tayZ0f_UPsIoC8R-iBLfdYm_hTpJTLujYqxu6LvlFAewUbJ5Lk_mJwISsNOjpdaHYi2wdAjcRUoW48SlxOOcq2Shz_fs9xMhbnlzgCfX3P6GQP7kC0lgv_4B4vDqw/s400/ANTM8.2+Monk+subtitle+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5LneX0Enu-t9afXFYXYi3V-auCKRs_Id6705xsOetqfwGyYSCk7fT0JtxoTBnYmYiQ1TC1XubyY1MEtmH5T5WaoQHua0T7Y9dNSSejKxtz1-eTiej3UFBj0ZpOWGcEiy1kVIV-A/s1600/ANTM8.2+Monk+subtitle+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5LneX0Enu-t9afXFYXYi3V-auCKRs_Id6705xsOetqfwGyYSCk7fT0JtxoTBnYmYiQ1TC1XubyY1MEtmH5T5WaoQHua0T7Y9dNSSejKxtz1-eTiej3UFBj0ZpOWGcEiy1kVIV-A/s400/ANTM8.2+Monk+subtitle+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I did not know that.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Taylor is deeply affected by the experience, and says “I was
thinking about my mum the whole time when the monk was talking. She was the
first thing. And then my horse as well. Like, I miss my horse”.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You do look a lot like her, Taylor. YOUR MUM, I MEAN. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The monk then leads the scrags in meditation, and lists the
different sorts of meditation.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sitting meditation.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Standing meditation.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Walking meditation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lying meditation.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That awesome dog meditation.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrO0q9tFR-UKrJ7RcQE4LF9_JPmvNJ8EvLChQxyzPmqX4Ku_yYMkuicxAUtLaZKyPOxEI6tyrC1KHc0_wfvAwcYlSGsxP9R5fvsDjHqHSSgdGzlyBIwrA2Ybj4O24-1H0kaDv3sA/s1600/ANTM8.2+Meditating+dog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrO0q9tFR-UKrJ7RcQE4LF9_JPmvNJ8EvLChQxyzPmqX4Ku_yYMkuicxAUtLaZKyPOxEI6tyrC1KHc0_wfvAwcYlSGsxP9R5fvsDjHqHSSgdGzlyBIwrA2Ybj4O24-1H0kaDv3sA/s400/ANTM8.2+Meditating+dog.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And Dajana totally fell asleep meditation.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh_EKx_rAa_e1bbF5zGQUqN-ltw2vAsAMQpqD1E4In0IGYA-iL7EKeFK9XXt8Z6AUxMpF4bx6tVOsPQafFN9rQRpMXx_N1k5lI33bIUl1Kw8hsBUiLwj85IaUE6bQ0UTVWyXqp1Q/s1600/ANTM8.2+Sleeping+meditation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh_EKx_rAa_e1bbF5zGQUqN-ltw2vAsAMQpqD1E4In0IGYA-iL7EKeFK9XXt8Z6AUxMpF4bx6tVOsPQafFN9rQRpMXx_N1k5lI33bIUl1Kw8hsBUiLwj85IaUE6bQ0UTVWyXqp1Q/s400/ANTM8.2+Sleeping+meditation.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Time to exaggerate Dajana’s ethnic background with some
well-known stereotypes, you guys!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-c8iUL7ZwRUoZjAPvssSiFD1cWJNaJIVRZC6hp051TF38eiRNpGcney4X-jYBd8avgzF9lOE2rb4811e8WASGw-Dg-zrhpGqioDBEJ6kiUM0Ym82U1gyZiENzBbvU98J4wGvFhg/s1600/ANTM8.2+Dajana+woggy+SLEEP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-c8iUL7ZwRUoZjAPvssSiFD1cWJNaJIVRZC6hp051TF38eiRNpGcney4X-jYBd8avgzF9lOE2rb4811e8WASGw-Dg-zrhpGqioDBEJ6kiUM0Ym82U1gyZiENzBbvU98J4wGvFhg/s400/ANTM8.2+Dajana+woggy+SLEEP.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Gettin' Woggy Wid It</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawso leads the modules out to the lawn to practice their
mad new meditation skillz, but Rhiannon doesn’t take it particularly seriously,
because ‘In Australia religion isn’t like, the biggest thing, like, it is here,
so at the time it was a little bit funny’. Being different is </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">funny</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">, you guys. You know, like making
fun of wogs and stuff. Coughetty-cough.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A few people show their annoyance with Rhiannon by giving
her a sideways glance, or ‘pigeon-eye’.*</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicP646AfvOr8tGmcD5bsIXTf4L7KRt1UJwRZ9bjZLB8OwnnzRp38chxKZp2E_TtTKSyur82WXvm5x0Q9hGo_P0odxlMoNh7UW5DRy3pPT4yzU8VAQShjlKXUHwktC6mdyYBcYmPw/s1600/ANTM8.2+Pigeon+Eye1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="363" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicP646AfvOr8tGmcD5bsIXTf4L7KRt1UJwRZ9bjZLB8OwnnzRp38chxKZp2E_TtTKSyur82WXvm5x0Q9hGo_P0odxlMoNh7UW5DRy3pPT4yzU8VAQShjlKXUHwktC6mdyYBcYmPw/s400/ANTM8.2+Pigeon+Eye1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjORV6KC3lzm-Pslkg1sR2Bj59Bi8WeKnRcK-HR8GBYs13yyCZtNWXEHyNV9a1bGgjC-vIbOILi4dZi8-5tyxb28H3JVhyphenhyphen8ldPqUlfU5OYHPAgET2rVpXIBDqjWprjRCbMzdxKkig/s1600/ANTM8.2+Pigeon+Eye2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="337" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjORV6KC3lzm-Pslkg1sR2Bj59Bi8WeKnRcK-HR8GBYs13yyCZtNWXEHyNV9a1bGgjC-vIbOILi4dZi8-5tyxb28H3JVhyphenhyphen8ldPqUlfU5OYHPAgET2rVpXIBDqjWprjRCbMzdxKkig/s400/ANTM8.2+Pigeon+Eye2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbuNe0wtuAbzkmzObujoPU5zVYf4ePCdWoiS_rj5kH2bhLRi9Y_KE2elWZ4jiA_Ks1tOB9mbk4bRXCGuQ3JrWrJD5CBmo_8dykpQfXiBK0Xy_P4FwPLJjfjUcTrYJpRAe7W0ulSw/s1600/ANTM8.2+Pigeon+Eye3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="287" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbuNe0wtuAbzkmzObujoPU5zVYf4ePCdWoiS_rj5kH2bhLRi9Y_KE2elWZ4jiA_Ks1tOB9mbk4bRXCGuQ3JrWrJD5CBmo_8dykpQfXiBK0Xy_P4FwPLJjfjUcTrYJpRAe7W0ulSw/s400/ANTM8.2+Pigeon+Eye3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEireJxmfPZ9-vXWnBzxUQO8N6vrtcKzl0Qr7lK7FKpvK6pMzcQk5hOY4c368HBlmXD8hk6_hZW4gNl9cZBCf8stenSAlJ9PRy6SJr3dWiE87GAOYtoAMXTlTXoVCiAH-Yohj02pww/s1600/ANTM8.2+Pigeon+Eye4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEireJxmfPZ9-vXWnBzxUQO8N6vrtcKzl0Qr7lK7FKpvK6pMzcQk5hOY4c368HBlmXD8hk6_hZW4gNl9cZBCf8stenSAlJ9PRy6SJr3dWiE87GAOYtoAMXTlTXoVCiAH-Yohj02pww/s400/ANTM8.2+Pigeon+Eye4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>You. Bitch.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Challenged.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Back at Hotel Muse, Dawso and Diddles come up with a challenge
for the scrags by looking around them, seeing a sign, and going “Oh right, ‘muse’,
nice one”. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In three teams, the modules must select someone to be their
muse, and then style that someone in a Manning Cartell frock with accessories purchased
from the local market. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So they must choose a muse, choose some shoes, and neither
snooze nor lose. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wordplay, my friends.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Off to market we go! I hope the girls aren’t looking for any
silver or gold at these markets. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ1PywF7geTFa5VlsymByZcVCVmyBwyEELlHjG0i-yzFJ_6G2XU_-3pius-flevh76Owlsgpo8VDQqv9A7BSt11sycO441X9UyjjpXs-IPPFgCV9HxDcUdgQ_ASyCkCjNbODw55g/s1600/ANTM8.2+Pratunum+Market.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ1PywF7geTFa5VlsymByZcVCVmyBwyEELlHjG0i-yzFJ_6G2XU_-3pius-flevh76Owlsgpo8VDQqv9A7BSt11sycO441X9UyjjpXs-IPPFgCV9HxDcUdgQ_ASyCkCjNbODw55g/s400/ANTM8.2+Pratunum+Market.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Veeeery specific market.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yes, yes, I know. Take it away, adamant little guy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOO8NsMZrX4LjntJ3tRWQ9X_lWlTU0fNYTg6oCCOnNcTdWILwYFUdwIoV-wPWK_vvsoIXNfxLtpe7MTuo4rpGfq1sqDSOxBQC4k50buw8aKQ_0TjjXaaZipYRQ9btSqmPgXhMI2A/s1600/thats-racist3.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOO8NsMZrX4LjntJ3tRWQ9X_lWlTU0fNYTg6oCCOnNcTdWILwYFUdwIoV-wPWK_vvsoIXNfxLtpe7MTuo4rpGfq1sqDSOxBQC4k50buw8aKQ_0TjjXaaZipYRQ9btSqmPgXhMI2A/s1600/thats-racist3.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>We're overseas. It was bound to happen sooner or later.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Brooke mentions that she’s surprised, as the market is
different to what she was expecting. “There were stalls everywhere and people
everywhere”. WHAT? WHERE IS THIS MARKET? WEIRD CRAZY MARKET WORLD? GET OUT.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ashley gets upset because her team isn’t listening to her
opinions. Lord knows I always take my high-fashion style tips from someone with
a pierced tongue, denim cut-offs, and the inability to pronounce the word ‘muse’.
It’s like Modigliani taking weight-loss tips from Rubens or, for the lowbrow
amongst you, like Miley Cyrus giving anyone advice about anything ever.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Most of the teams have clear-cut, self-appointed leaders,
giving me the opportunity to come good on my promise to reference an old-timey
TV theme in each recap, with bonus
what-Alyssa-Milano-looked-like-in-that-five-minutes-she-was-flat-chested.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/DBlnykHTOtI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And those forty years
that Judith Light was.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Arguments are had. Bartering is done. Sequinned shorts are
inexplicably bought. Abbie’s arse is given its first outing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhih7pTerUs5YllwpH2_SOGARp0gZj127TX6c_tDyhGrblbGBaCp1SQLFKI-DZusrecyW1f-IL4I5R1bLrbPZ4LqGfIevwx0a6xY-3KF_mVJsg05U2Bw1DIOO0eYh12lx3ND_SzKA/s1600/ANTM8.2+Abbie's+arse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhih7pTerUs5YllwpH2_SOGARp0gZj127TX6c_tDyhGrblbGBaCp1SQLFKI-DZusrecyW1f-IL4I5R1bLrbPZ4LqGfIevwx0a6xY-3KF_mVJsg05U2Bw1DIOO0eYh12lx3ND_SzKA/s400/ANTM8.2+Abbie's+arse.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>If you missed it, don't worry - you'll see it again.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Taylor flags down the cultural sensitivity bus and buys a
ticket by whining that there’s “So many people and so hot. Disgusting”, but
Dajana grabs the wheel and drives straight to This Is Actually Considered Quite
RudeTown by patting one of the stall-holders on the head.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9-STcUhP37pl6G_UoSc4V_KOnAEPElnm7b5fJWsbeJionF-we7SuPWx3AYXvJ92YVbfpFSvcQgHrofMbZ7LdzuDF2VGYlxvujka0gSiTz0iH4R3I1ihFOcj6OoQ5Zekeebnd0qA/s1600/ANTM8.2+Dajana+cultural+sensitivity.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9-STcUhP37pl6G_UoSc4V_KOnAEPElnm7b5fJWsbeJionF-we7SuPWx3AYXvJ92YVbfpFSvcQgHrofMbZ7LdzuDF2VGYlxvujka0gSiTz0iH4R3I1ihFOcj6OoQ5Zekeebnd0qA/s400/ANTM8.2+Dajana+cultural+sensitivity.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The power of Christ compels you, fulleee</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I guess it’s fine. She didn’t know that's pretty much a no-no here. She may have missed this
billboard at the airport.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWKkYvMhgO9JuOyACa308AHK75p8ZqVOBGwnEgg1aXYw6EngEfJBZRnkdQLxJRnhaUJqASsxlfQRwMxIVxpi9L8jrs1DHctKAkcteyaKhFxf2jn0bYQ7VQQ_NIiV4GHhxgrVlJAA/s1600/ANTM8.2+Welcome+to+Thailand.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="381" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWKkYvMhgO9JuOyACa308AHK75p8ZqVOBGwnEgg1aXYw6EngEfJBZRnkdQLxJRnhaUJqASsxlfQRwMxIVxpi9L8jrs1DHctKAkcteyaKhFxf2jn0bYQ7VQQ_NIiV4GHhxgrVlJAA/s400/ANTM8.2+Welcome+to+Thailand.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Once all the shopping and muse-styling has been completed,
Dawso and Diddles welcome the modules back to the hotel to judge their elegant
and understated HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK WHAT IS THAT.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What was meant to be ‘sophisticated accents’ turns out to be
‘that brat prince guy from Temple Of Doom’. </span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5_eoFWJbxZgIl8ibVNleyeKRYG1aZgpHrJQzA1yswrc4fMl-yUS-8kZEfwwVGCkwJltedMqYxJ5EQfNqFnSmNRKZ7Z0jAXrD0N_YzHMyLmUT9SmAMZ7M816NZj_XeZjcTWmT_-A/s1600/ANTM8.2+April+and+brat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5_eoFWJbxZgIl8ibVNleyeKRYG1aZgpHrJQzA1yswrc4fMl-yUS-8kZEfwwVGCkwJltedMqYxJ5EQfNqFnSmNRKZ7Z0jAXrD0N_YzHMyLmUT9SmAMZ7M816NZj_XeZjcTWmT_-A/s400/ANTM8.2+April+and+brat.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I just wish you and Short Round could get along.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What was meant to be a ‘bold statement’ turns out to be
‘Pris from BladeRunner’.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGSgtX_X69uN2y40lV6NeCzjlViXb9uRn5LxmDw3SGeXJhSQ21Nb3_tVOuYv3BJEFtMRW8kP6hdmIBl8oIXOUjgBgrTiuVNBZyUex7Yrwcav44eY3dvnkTnS8JJmLJ6bm8RaZJsw/s1600/ANTM8.2+Abbie+%2526+Pris.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGSgtX_X69uN2y40lV6NeCzjlViXb9uRn5LxmDw3SGeXJhSQ21Nb3_tVOuYv3BJEFtMRW8kP6hdmIBl8oIXOUjgBgrTiuVNBZyUex7Yrwcav44eY3dvnkTnS8JJmLJ6bm8RaZJsw/s400/ANTM8.2+Abbie+%2526+Pris.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Let's flip this turtle on its back, eh?</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And what was meant to be ‘sporty chic’ turns out to be ‘Sporty
Spice’. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5dak_jZ_eWGN_lr7Zk_ZZf0ArQlHOZEY93YMSqg8nbMcfZ41MbWuZ0MvDZf2iZtL_MgJNg8EK-boWtI9BzRJduu2NZcLvVqHxvGmgbEek1ozmcLn-WC3N7Nie37LPt8fdUWYmyQ/s1600/ANTM8.2+Jade+%2526+Sporty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5dak_jZ_eWGN_lr7Zk_ZZf0ArQlHOZEY93YMSqg8nbMcfZ41MbWuZ0MvDZf2iZtL_MgJNg8EK-boWtI9BzRJduu2NZcLvVqHxvGmgbEek1ozmcLn-WC3N7Nie37LPt8fdUWYmyQ/s400/ANTM8.2+Jade+%2526+Sporty.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>And doesn't she look happy about it.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Also, someone dresses as my year 8 woodwork teacher.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRs_3lbLRGL0mRjJmJbxkMqIYoIBqa4-K2NHMuhz9pdHU2Yl6Qn2CHii4VsR3LOyHnSjZRzKbsETolVTJrSAD6EGIxRlg3BFN_L0Vd5s6vl-iIUKQU-B3vympO4btlSo6qPXcBHQ/s1600/ANTM8.2+Challenge+socks+with+sandals.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="330" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRs_3lbLRGL0mRjJmJbxkMqIYoIBqa4-K2NHMuhz9pdHU2Yl6Qn2CHii4VsR3LOyHnSjZRzKbsETolVTJrSAD6EGIxRlg3BFN_L0Vd5s6vl-iIUKQU-B3vympO4btlSo6qPXcBHQ/s400/ANTM8.2+Challenge+socks+with+sandals.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Although admiteddly Mr Murcutt had at least some circulation in his ankles.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Abbie ruins her team’s chances at winning by giggling
through the entire thing, and Jade ruins her team’s chances by allowing herself
to be styled by her team, so the challenge winner is April. Although of course,
the real winner is everyone except Manning Cartell’s marketing team.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Phoy-toys<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">All of a sudden we’re in a rice paddy with Diddles, an
elephant, photographer Kane Skennar (because god forbid they’d use a
photographer that I can spell without Googling), and Diddles’ nipples. Shanali gushes ‘I could not believe we were
going to be working with an elephant’, which is ironic because almost
immediately, as if on cue, they don’t. The only real look-in the elephant gets
is when Abbie auditions it for a part in her new movie <i>Arse-Flash Two: Elephant Harder.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEUnQ5qZi-wiCWc05IxMy9ACZbSHhYWvbMlyWQ17BUyLRIwaJjGDa1UMQhf1eQqGY5ZX2lBaCqjCSjOtYRvzoZbLYYDQqxuT3qldFTfV2qGVS1Fl_J5Jh87vk8DfZIpohpW2THEw/s1600/ANTM8.2+Abbys+arse+mark+two.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEUnQ5qZi-wiCWc05IxMy9ACZbSHhYWvbMlyWQ17BUyLRIwaJjGDa1UMQhf1eQqGY5ZX2lBaCqjCSjOtYRvzoZbLYYDQqxuT3qldFTfV2qGVS1Fl_J5Jh87vk8DfZIpohpW2THEw/s400/ANTM8.2+Abbys+arse+mark+two.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Nobody talk about the arse in the room.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The brief for the photo shoot is ‘rich, lost traveller’, or
‘grubby hot mess’, and the clothes are one hundred percent gorgeous and
eighty-five percent held on by bulldog clips.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maddy Banana Paddy looks frightened of being one of the most
beautiful people anybody’s ever seen, which is “understandable”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The photographer says that Shannon isn’t aware of her body,
which will come as a shock next time she’s being fitted for any kind of
harness, and that Abbie is very aware of her body, which comes as a shock because
you’d think she’d be aware of feeling the breeze on her arse at least once.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shanali, who is perfect and who I probably think should win,
doesn’t do anything wrong and this is the end of this sentence.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnr_5srCfMHbBp1fMV3HeATnByLeeoV7yf9dqtnm3iCF_y3__6nTbW_nRCDwt2jTeTjB9dgfULJZC73HhwKzQ7tVHIIcTCZGoEId_1ZbgSP0Rxk1wZMu2l9J2d6REyBBUe53DYLw/s1600/ANTM8.2+Shanali+shoot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnr_5srCfMHbBp1fMV3HeATnByLeeoV7yf9dqtnm3iCF_y3__6nTbW_nRCDwt2jTeTjB9dgfULJZC73HhwKzQ7tVHIIcTCZGoEId_1ZbgSP0Rxk1wZMu2l9J2d6REyBBUe53DYLw/s400/ANTM8.2+Shanali+shoot.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Although a push-up wouldn't kill you, doll.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rhiannon walks like she’s had both a sedative and a Red Bull
and they’re fighting for supremacy in her system in the 1990s.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">April is as good as any robot from France that I’ve seen.
April, if you’re reading this: o1o1o11o1o1o1oo1o1o11o. You’re welcome.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jade wears a jacket with birds on it that I want right now give it to me right now don't even stop for coffee.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duckie, Brooke and Taylah are delicious, poor Chanique
is stiff and emotionless until she leaves the set and has a blub, Taylor is a bit of an
ungrateful whining brat, and I can’t tell which is Ashley’s right leg and which
is Ashley’s left leg.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghTuDvMqpQtY3DlZSGbiEbNSyjeGkdFRGxuDjM7J00K8cdv9tQHzwZmXh8Qi8QGqNziGud2UuSwKTEB2Kz-x4SSm1ZDjOlCMau8lOuenhTX8fZjrg40OKMlb2hAnyg-U5Gn96nrg/s1600/ANTM8.2+Ashley+interchangeable+legs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghTuDvMqpQtY3DlZSGbiEbNSyjeGkdFRGxuDjM7J00K8cdv9tQHzwZmXh8Qi8QGqNziGud2UuSwKTEB2Kz-x4SSm1ZDjOlCMau8lOuenhTX8fZjrg40OKMlb2hAnyg-U5Gn96nrg/s400/ANTM8.2+Ashley+interchangeable+legs.jpg" width="305" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Can we get an ambulance to the rice paddy stat, please.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eliminationosity</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">BOOM, and we’re sent screeching back to the Eliminatorium, where
Jen Hawkins Mrs Everything decides to deliver her autocue puns from a black and
white frock, Dawso winks hello and then has to have a lie down to recover from
the muscle strain, Shiny Alex Perry has to speak loudly to be heard over the
sound of his shirt seams creaking, and Diddles oooh-wee-ooh, he looks just like
Buddy Holly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ4CbO8CzhQOk-PcdM0KiKlT3U4j24NvyzLarsjfYcCG-HTDtoJIzjV0U7_ugda6PW_4slaXgLNnTCbvDGhE6A3hgeUk4GXmthkmLl9kZgx5XaEbW6vjOCAFTKa4GpuzdeiadWDQ/s1600/ANTM8.2+Diddles+Buddy+Holly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ4CbO8CzhQOk-PcdM0KiKlT3U4j24NvyzLarsjfYcCG-HTDtoJIzjV0U7_ugda6PW_4slaXgLNnTCbvDGhE6A3hgeUk4GXmthkmLl9kZgx5XaEbW6vjOCAFTKa4GpuzdeiadWDQ/s400/ANTM8.2+Diddles+Buddy+Holly.jpg" width="328" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Woah-oh, and you're Mary Tyler Moore</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Photographs are ummed and aaahed over, and it looks like
it’s going to be very difficult to pick a loser. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What do you think, Buddy Holly?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ4CbO8CzhQOk-PcdM0KiKlT3U4j24NvyzLarsjfYcCG-HTDtoJIzjV0U7_ugda6PW_4slaXgLNnTCbvDGhE6A3hgeUk4GXmthkmLl9kZgx5XaEbW6vjOCAFTKa4GpuzdeiadWDQ/s1600/ANTM8.2+Diddles+Buddy+Holly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ4CbO8CzhQOk-PcdM0KiKlT3U4j24NvyzLarsjfYcCG-HTDtoJIzjV0U7_ugda6PW_4slaXgLNnTCbvDGhE6A3hgeUk4GXmthkmLl9kZgx5XaEbW6vjOCAFTKa4GpuzdeiadWDQ/s400/ANTM8.2+Diddles+Buddy+Holly.jpg" width="328" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>It all just looks like a plane crash to me.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What about you,
Amazing Psychic Desk? What do you think?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfSLS7cXuKPitcGzN2IGdm5cQo7bM9T52rEBMyew1vPOgy6RtScSCT4wuFhkU-vwi__nGptXkX238NmDu1ZxZJ5Roay05m8uVlRwuJUItCeCsZQMGb0Zu4iPSGiCNkcsouVL7a_Q/s1600/ANTM8.2+Amazing+psychic+desk+dog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfSLS7cXuKPitcGzN2IGdm5cQo7bM9T52rEBMyew1vPOgy6RtScSCT4wuFhkU-vwi__nGptXkX238NmDu1ZxZJ5Roay05m8uVlRwuJUItCeCsZQMGb0Zu4iPSGiCNkcsouVL7a_Q/s400/ANTM8.2+Amazing+psychic+desk+dog.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Well, you're no fucking help at all, Amazing Psychic Desk.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After a bit of zingy Dawso-and-Shiny-Alex-Perry banter like
‘I hate this shot so badly I can hardly contain myself’, ‘Those eyes are
burning holes into my botoxed head’, and ‘It looks like you’ve been sitting
unsuccessfully on the toilet for about an hour’, I still want that jacket with
the birds on it, yet I still don’t have it and I can’t work out why.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh, and Shiny Alex Perry uses the word ‘gaping’, which again gets
him trophy of the week.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguA8qMS27tEy0eo14rGwZr-koM-whne58pPicyDmqBm9VD0NW3P0l6M9_-UdT8aQFJXFt8VrjcNxGU8yeK15g808IXdeUl4cTiio8IrhyaAaeo01ibc__ovYEzTSqbrxLWN3gdbA/s1600/ANTM8.2+GAPING+TROPHY.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguA8qMS27tEy0eo14rGwZr-koM-whne58pPicyDmqBm9VD0NW3P0l6M9_-UdT8aQFJXFt8VrjcNxGU8yeK15g808IXdeUl4cTiio8IrhyaAaeo01ibc__ovYEzTSqbrxLWN3gdbA/s400/ANTM8.2+GAPING+TROPHY.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The Gaping Trophy, for people who say 'gaping'.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Deliberation happens, April gets photo of the week and
almost shows emotion, and it eventually comes down to Chanique and Shannon.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shannon says ‘My heart just blew out of my body’. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4I4KfJyO-vknn4K0yA8Wsr97GWRdSCWvot5w4uQFTmWthOsL5eTlTJG5zX4-3fXjqUWdohbdgS95uqneY8YexQsRWMSOMDK01GlBpAUTnr1KquUZTyMUWr-8EStAYREBEzUao9A/s1600/ANTM8.2+Lionel+Richie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="328" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4I4KfJyO-vknn4K0yA8Wsr97GWRdSCWvot5w4uQFTmWthOsL5eTlTJG5zX4-3fXjqUWdohbdgS95uqneY8YexQsRWMSOMDK01GlBpAUTnr1KquUZTyMUWr-8EStAYREBEzUao9A/s400/ANTM8.2+Lionel+Richie.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Yeah, I never wrote a song about that.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Finally, after fifty hours and a nap, the admittedly-adorable-but-not-very-good-at-modelling
Chanique is given the ol’ PEW PEW.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJhd2NZrp-ArCUwGjnOIM2qgUnpPbYp5MdKpX6-e88OllxGjs11t05FUrt7mLzoJAerNdlxNegiZiGlWin3AW2j9y6b-N_Jz6_KXK4_JxbqcX7Q6_w7IQHTQdaUnc2GPzfJh9-dw/s1600/ANTM8.2+AP+laser+eyes_edited-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJhd2NZrp-ArCUwGjnOIM2qgUnpPbYp5MdKpX6-e88OllxGjs11t05FUrt7mLzoJAerNdlxNegiZiGlWin3AW2j9y6b-N_Jz6_KXK4_JxbqcX7Q6_w7IQHTQdaUnc2GPzfJh9-dw/s400/ANTM8.2+AP+laser+eyes_edited-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpx0w2OX3iuuyBjdPCTVx2lwkWySdxnzC5EfZ1Ug49D-nK6e-Y1k0CU_LAgDXqCkEOG9eYO_QBHJuNqKl1Vb4SIhCLHN8idnAUTmvZcigWV7T3Hyh9gbLAm91ts_kWhe0Q9K9xPQ/s1600/ANTM8.2+Head+asplode.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpx0w2OX3iuuyBjdPCTVx2lwkWySdxnzC5EfZ1Ug49D-nK6e-Y1k0CU_LAgDXqCkEOG9eYO_QBHJuNqKl1Vb4SIhCLHN8idnAUTmvZcigWV7T3Hyh9gbLAm91ts_kWhe0Q9K9xPQ/s400/ANTM8.2+Head+asplode.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>KA-WOOMSH</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Bye, Chanique! You're pretty. Any
last words?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC6n0WV8c8fvnj1A1TVxofO6WkUmD-nWapgg64zV3Fu22_gFyorZcRw3EO66k4v6ao13hZni6I3wb1Aglc8f23ZmpFBUFWsDWBl29UVbnquajD-rZZYX0xG2Hs4ut7CcwoHstLzw/s1600/ANTM8.2+Chanique+butterfly+pee.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC6n0WV8c8fvnj1A1TVxofO6WkUmD-nWapgg64zV3Fu22_gFyorZcRw3EO66k4v6ao13hZni6I3wb1Aglc8f23ZmpFBUFWsDWBl29UVbnquajD-rZZYX0xG2Hs4ut7CcwoHstLzw/s400/ANTM8.2+Chanique+butterfly+pee.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Exactly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">*Copyright 2011, 'Doik' Simone from Series 7</span></div>
Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-10396637580249973172013-07-09T20:44:00.000+10:002013-07-10T16:16:01.518+10:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series 8 #1<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">God.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s been almost two years since the best show ever made has
vomited itself, bulimia-stylez, from my television screen, and I can BARELY
CONTAIN MYSELF. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But I have to, because I’m a professional.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">KIDDING! I’m a lone wolf renegade, and your puny human
conduct guidelines cannot hold me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Unlike the way a jail/gaol can hold convicts, right? Am I
right? Because we haven’t overworked the convict motif in this episode yet?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fashion a shiv and steal a loaf of bread, it’s the ‘Toora-li,
Toora-li, Scraggety’ episode of <i>Australia’s
Next Top Model. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="border-bottom: dotted windowtext 3.0pt; border: none; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0cm 0cm 1.0pt 0cm;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">God.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Housekeeping.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">First up, some housekeeping.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l5 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;"> There are rules. I will let you know what the
rules are as we go along, because I will be making them up as we go along. You
want a democracy, go read another satirical reality television recap. God.</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">The first rule is that, wherever you’re watching
ANTM, if you hear the word ‘journey’ uttered on-screen, you must shout
‘JOURNEY!!!’ in your loudest, most barbaric yawp.</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">The second rule is that whenever you hear the
ANTM theme music, when the girl says “I wanna be on top-PAAAAAAH’, you must
aspirate the ‘PAAAAAH’ along with her. Awkward at first, then you’ll wonder how
you ever went without it, just like tampons.</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">Each week, I will be tallying up catchphrases to
discover WHAT. WILL BE. REALITY TELEVISION’S MOST OVER-USED CATCHPHRASE. So far ‘I really want this’ is in the lead
with 6 points, with surprisingly no points on the board at all for ‘That bitch
stole my cigarettes’. Early days, my friends.</span></li>
</ul>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwXgPFlCGqK6VTqpquSxFrDckhWxqtdCmizgNx0zOnt6gZ5A3RIeaE-GBcrLPMZOg5TZXd-3fTMNSNOHXzE2pRzrkpr63L7Zth0u8xv3YejxfGXq8my-EKfIKNMsoWcPkXhTW0FA/s398/ANTM8.1+Catchphrase+log.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwXgPFlCGqK6VTqpquSxFrDckhWxqtdCmizgNx0zOnt6gZ5A3RIeaE-GBcrLPMZOg5TZXd-3fTMNSNOHXzE2pRzrkpr63L7Zth0u8xv3YejxfGXq8my-EKfIKNMsoWcPkXhTW0FA/s400/ANTM8.1+Catchphrase+log.jpg" width="283" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Right. So all that’s done then. Let us begin with what the
promos have led us to believe is the most important bizzo this year....</span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l5 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">THERE’S TOTALLY A NEW HOST. As we’re told in the
opening voice over while Jen Hawkins struts out in slow-mo, shes had ‘Millions
of dollars of endorsements (for vitamin supplements). Ten years at the top of
her game (football). She’s Australia’s supermodel (and beauty pageant)
sweetheart. And a perfect top model mentor (actually that bit’s probably true)’.
Obviously I have to give our Jen a
nickname, but what? I was going to make her ‘Miss (Something) 2013’, but Miss
what? She can do everything, as the voice-over just told us. Miss Everything?
Then I heard that she got married, so I decided it had to be ‘Mrs’. So there you
go. Jen Hawkins Mrs Everything.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFmFFkV-zJPOrdC1DVxeoqnsNsnKxUH75mQ4LTTZBPhsZutfniz32Uvh163CUUe-0BIxGhCmdxtpUp0SEpZQlNYDNtjV-UfGQGOEyPJQ2OoIg6SmQ3ZPaFRZTNcLhpFbLjmK68aQ/s790/ANTM7.1+MRS+EVERYTHING.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="314" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFmFFkV-zJPOrdC1DVxeoqnsNsnKxUH75mQ4LTTZBPhsZutfniz32Uvh163CUUe-0BIxGhCmdxtpUp0SEpZQlNYDNtjV-UfGQGOEyPJQ2OoIg6SmQ3ZPaFRZTNcLhpFbLjmK68aQ/s400/ANTM7.1+MRS+EVERYTHING.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">Also, THERE’S TOTALLY A NEW JUDGE. And it’s
Didier Cohen, vegan male model who regards Max Markson as a close personal
arsehole. So that’s ANOTHER new nickname I have to hand out, especially
considering nobody knows how to pronounce ‘Didier’. So, just to make sure we’re all up to speed:</span><!--[if !supportLists]--></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l5 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5MzM6xWk7KW3BfH3K-tkU6uAb64oqfN4Vl9-nbOscn9vbsCbChSTG9rPDFq6EthpEUhI0ziSShQqSOSbntseB-2STCTEn7dOT8G15xI7J517BUJ68r40j3LvURipjzQ60j2QSrg/s1029/ANTM7.1+JUDGE+NICKNAMES.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5MzM6xWk7KW3BfH3K-tkU6uAb64oqfN4Vl9-nbOscn9vbsCbChSTG9rPDFq6EthpEUhI0ziSShQqSOSbntseB-2STCTEn7dOT8G15xI7J517BUJ68r40j3LvURipjzQ60j2QSrg/s400/ANTM7.1+JUDGE+NICKNAMES.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hiiiii, Diddles.</span></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">·<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->So I guess all we’re missing is the modules.
Let’s see... what have we got in this opening montage... high speed sunrise, industrial
things, cranes, corrugated iron, nuts, bolts...</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqGmBDU3D1xFL9AoRcFY_9IKoDz7XuxHVCq8MowthuLw6e3s81kFZPu1i6548atmXlyblv4X_U2G6iqaxY1sDzS-Fd_3bjYNycSBDq0wjh6kD93inXzNcn67CT0CsNk9f_aqtuvg/s627/ANTM8.1+SCRAGS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqGmBDU3D1xFL9AoRcFY_9IKoDz7XuxHVCq8MowthuLw6e3s81kFZPu1i6548atmXlyblv4X_U2G6iqaxY1sDzS-Fd_3bjYNycSBDq0wjh6kD93inXzNcn67CT0CsNk9f_aqtuvg/s400/ANTM8.1+SCRAGS.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Scrags! The scrags are here!</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Either
that or it’s the world’s hungriest and most fashionable walkathon. It takes the girls roughly twenty minutes to stroll
into the warehouse, giving me ample time to form the following opinion:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3UgmiQvYAKT2yZZWnZsCnefpmGPNMkUQVXqz70Iq5SnH_qpiWXT_GGDtth7vxBcM9SJVnn_Y-tgnECxB8DFnlXtBpdtlp24ujvY_h97f_QRDTTZr68Ib4uUu1k_b2EdiTF3VkpA/s580/ANTM8.1+Bow+tie+NOPE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3UgmiQvYAKT2yZZWnZsCnefpmGPNMkUQVXqz70Iq5SnH_qpiWXT_GGDtth7vxBcM9SJVnn_Y-tgnECxB8DFnlXtBpdtlp24ujvY_h97f_QRDTTZr68Ib4uUu1k_b2EdiTF3VkpA/s400/ANTM8.1+Bow+tie+NOPE.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>That cut-out shirts with visible bras and bow-ties never won anything.</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yeah. Bye.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The modules gush and swoon over the perfection that is Jen
Hawkins Mrs Everything, who tells them that they’re standing in Cockatoo
Island. I bet some of these girls have seen a cockatoo in their time, right? Am
I right or what? *high five left hanging until the apocalypse and rightfully so*</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jen Hawkins Mrs Everything starts talking about convicts,
which starts three quarters of an hour of terrible convict-related puns and
wordplay. It’s like Hieronymus Bosch painting a canvas of bad puns escaping </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">en masse</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> from hell or, for the lowbrow
amongst you, like Amanda Bynes throwing a thousand pun-filled bongs out a
thousand windows.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jen announces that
“this very building was built by convicts, which is a tenuous enough reason to
call what you’re about to go through a ‘convict bootcamp’, effectively
nullifying the true meaning of all the words in this sentence”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wow, that Jen Hawkins Mrs Everything misses NOTHING.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then she mentions ‘Good old fashioned punishment’ right
before she introduces Shiny Alex Perry. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then Shiny Alex Perry tells the girls that they’re going to
have a ‘good old-fashioned mugshot’. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then Jen Hawkins Mrs Everything’s voice-over tells us that
the girls are about to undergo ‘an old-fashioned convict line-up’. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s good. It’s old-fashioned. It’s time to set fire to the
script.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Each girl is given an identification card with a number on
it, and I make some wry observations as we get to know each of the scrags and
their adorable foibles.</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Skye's identification card has her actual IQ score printed on it.</span></li>
</ul>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEtJw2DqDrXimeiwltZiA66EEDj8_53VWIiX3qA-k13j_1L6ffAslhcZSLy_x3eZDqXJ9iyBAzPSO9JEqjuSNKC3idQIpFTfXjUmp890u4a33OIZ57DNwqV3jpyd1heKLhR8P9jA/s346/ANTM7.1+SKYES+ACTUAL+IQ.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEtJw2DqDrXimeiwltZiA66EEDj8_53VWIiX3qA-k13j_1L6ffAslhcZSLy_x3eZDqXJ9iyBAzPSO9JEqjuSNKC3idQIpFTfXjUmp890u4a33OIZ57DNwqV3jpyd1heKLhR8P9jA/s400/ANTM7.1+SKYES+ACTUAL+IQ.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Relax - her IQ is actually 41, she's just holding it backwards.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<ul style="text-indent: -24px;">
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">A lot of the girls remind me of famous people. Shannon reminds me of Brooke Shields.</span></li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD0_eB0h2kenh5g-a_vVMKbQIytDFF5pgs6Nu0SS2SFwrIQ7oE3Uqjc1O11Bp7JJ4coonNtlLPnUdXPULs5-KREdpqn-M_EzkqAdpltRQWREu_YCHGCuFypLT51HAMUcTfdjGEQw/s679/ANTM8.1+Shannon+Shields.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD0_eB0h2kenh5g-a_vVMKbQIytDFF5pgs6Nu0SS2SFwrIQ7oE3Uqjc1O11Bp7JJ4coonNtlLPnUdXPULs5-KREdpqn-M_EzkqAdpltRQWREu_YCHGCuFypLT51HAMUcTfdjGEQw/s400/ANTM8.1+Shannon+Shields.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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</div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">Rhiannon reminds me of Maggie Gyllenhaal.</span></li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ5Tlkp15cstRp6_Y6sTAYylD0JYVRTe9DnrNGHuyYVM6BqSBmY-JxbgeTHOr4WmGt7A_enxoTJZOwJDQKCm1aOhpsA3_fOZb734Xfav9PaM0R3OSECBUDcJUPIK58JQaA6k9Zhg/s510/ANTM8.1+Rhiannon+Gyllenhaal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ5Tlkp15cstRp6_Y6sTAYylD0JYVRTe9DnrNGHuyYVM6BqSBmY-JxbgeTHOr4WmGt7A_enxoTJZOwJDQKCm1aOhpsA3_fOZb734Xfav9PaM0R3OSECBUDcJUPIK58JQaA6k9Zhg/s400/ANTM8.1+Rhiannon+Gyllenhaal.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">Blonde Brooke reminds me of Rachel McAdams.</span></li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHZzofTvs-2EZ6tTS1_IzQx0-LvjdLk2285Ku46Hw9y3S9Z2FtVhOH4ahOyLIooAElYB7H5A_kkKTSODRou4dURVkNSz6XKSuIp8VWJe_e03D9YYQE1-o25Ns7YxkwxC_JDPd_jg/s768/ANTM7.1+BROOKE+MCADAMS2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHZzofTvs-2EZ6tTS1_IzQx0-LvjdLk2285Ku46Hw9y3S9Z2FtVhOH4ahOyLIooAElYB7H5A_kkKTSODRou4dURVkNSz6XKSuIp8VWJe_e03D9YYQE1-o25Ns7YxkwxC_JDPd_jg/s400/ANTM7.1+BROOKE+MCADAMS2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Melissa reminds me of Wednesday Addams. </span></li>
</ul>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh05fyzt1uribAvGDxnaprOHIGffrSASrGAexUJ4besCLrZO6WJXHnMiJCMg90w1zaqGl67qt9GXK8pfoeFSMfGh2b2_dsHBLK8Cf4QUG_UOrOg-bV5yTzqTmciQGOisjRM2Xb6xA/s523/ANTM8.1+Melissa+Addams.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh05fyzt1uribAvGDxnaprOHIGffrSASrGAexUJ4besCLrZO6WJXHnMiJCMg90w1zaqGl67qt9GXK8pfoeFSMfGh2b2_dsHBLK8Cf4QUG_UOrOg-bV5yTzqTmciQGOisjRM2Xb6xA/s400/ANTM8.1+Melissa+Addams.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://www.carolinevos.com/2308/834263/gallery/wednesday" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: start;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">http://www.carolinevos.com/2308/834263/gallery/wednesday</span></a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">·<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]--><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">Harriet reminds me of Phil Oakey from Human
League.</span></li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKa-qrTdq_agk6KnsR_hYIiKur1vTwuuEEHkFZ1izNwhvRS2Gjt4C54w8gumIHHIytCVvLUJeK608MH8U1IJ8N4wYp36tqoNHqiyL-WPjeutdZKe79GHj0Z58XKkzGCjIsTHugcg/s559/ANTM8.1+Harriet+Oakey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKa-qrTdq_agk6KnsR_hYIiKur1vTwuuEEHkFZ1izNwhvRS2Gjt4C54w8gumIHHIytCVvLUJeK608MH8U1IJ8N4wYp36tqoNHqiyL-WPjeutdZKe79GHj0Z58XKkzGCjIsTHugcg/s400/ANTM8.1+Harriet+Oakey.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">And Taylor reminds me of how happy I feel when I
watch the Ice Age movies.</span></li>
</ul>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSZ2sU5-kStwiJjfbO27fICrRJNGVodnS6ciu8rwbSjnuVMNl185DDhRyXFkNq-anX6gaOSQvUQBGU60kKgu2_t27McSywePviWFYFvLLXCPO929Dq_3RN1zFaxDJcNLKeEgpH2w/s818/ANTM7.1+Kayla+Ice+Age.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSZ2sU5-kStwiJjfbO27fICrRJNGVodnS6ciu8rwbSjnuVMNl185DDhRyXFkNq-anX6gaOSQvUQBGU60kKgu2_t27McSywePviWFYFvLLXCPO929Dq_3RN1zFaxDJcNLKeEgpH2w/s400/ANTM7.1+Kayla+Ice+Age.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>It would be SO MEAN if you thought I was comparing physical appearance in this one. Shame on you.</i></td></tr>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">Speaking of Taylor, she has a bit of trouble in
good old-fashioned fanning-yourself-with-your-idenification-card class. In
fact, she has a bit of trouble in all her classes.</span></li>
</ul>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsSubElf_83gMJT1oPQd4pZRWqFqlD-pYy1pn8NkDWAn296-oL6EXeC8l3M8x4D0u9EYJSOthbcXFWG5u0wMY0sUBOo9P-j5Q3YiMFEtUeu0HHh1btmZQtouOPOHESsRtHUJXVdQ/s792/ANTM7.1+Kayla+head+thwack.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsSubElf_83gMJT1oPQd4pZRWqFqlD-pYy1pn8NkDWAn296-oL6EXeC8l3M8x4D0u9EYJSOthbcXFWG5u0wMY0sUBOo9P-j5Q3YiMFEtUeu0HHh1btmZQtouOPOHESsRtHUJXVdQ/s400/ANTM7.1+Kayla+head+thwack.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Thunk.</i></td></tr>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">The phrase ‘denim shorts’ can be interpreted in
vastly different ways, such as:</span></li>
</ul>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg79Z8PSDcHfVS46eIOdiRfyYG-zGL_mBxzrhmULg_87DqbSaDcxQjCcjVfdnt_k71TSP6fV953LCoCK5MrzQNSrxcsMZOW0D8JbQRGHMT8qrsv6QKRGoaobCldrTJ5dwwAYlJpvg/s611/ANTM7.1+CUT-OFFS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg79Z8PSDcHfVS46eIOdiRfyYG-zGL_mBxzrhmULg_87DqbSaDcxQjCcjVfdnt_k71TSP6fV953LCoCK5MrzQNSrxcsMZOW0D8JbQRGHMT8qrsv6QKRGoaobCldrTJ5dwwAYlJpvg/s400/ANTM7.1+CUT-OFFS.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Here is my vagina; and...</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU-I22Tt2VQphxCFBayeMSbwe2IcofHWxICdGqs_vAg9baooPn3IYSTzVzi3WkpGTy7J-f0rMpF7PZ6tnapn8uYvFXFDlew0B2K3e0f-bFc8vzwTni9MDTZgX_UxdX3mZmdlvFNQ/s711/ANTM7.1+CUT-OFFS+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU-I22Tt2VQphxCFBayeMSbwe2IcofHWxICdGqs_vAg9baooPn3IYSTzVzi3WkpGTy7J-f0rMpF7PZ6tnapn8uYvFXFDlew0B2K3e0f-bFc8vzwTni9MDTZgX_UxdX3mZmdlvFNQ/s400/ANTM7.1+CUT-OFFS+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">...here is a pair of buttocks, thighs and shorts that I borrowed from a much, much smaller man.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In fact, Dawso comments to Jade-of-the-vaginal-cut-offs that
‘those are the highest-cut jeans I have ever seen in my life. They finish in
your armpit’. Coincidentally, so does Jade’s boyfriend, so technically she’s
still a virgin.</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">Somebody accidentally lets a real convict in for
a mugshot, which is awkward.</span></li>
</ul>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT69BUkKE5vmE9obR0RtlXsj3j4f0fzVeP6R1CzgreE6T7LEhseL1HzmAqezDOEEvpTIMUfCvq6POxZMEQ3VhYHf7sZQWHF6BdPmBYFP0_S9wOi0fVTg10x47Exq92kfMyERnjhA/s491/ANTM7.1+monique+actual+mug+shot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT69BUkKE5vmE9obR0RtlXsj3j4f0fzVeP6R1CzgreE6T7LEhseL1HzmAqezDOEEvpTIMUfCvq6POxZMEQ3VhYHf7sZQWHF6BdPmBYFP0_S9wOi0fVTg10x47Exq92kfMyERnjhA/s400/ANTM7.1+monique+actual+mug+shot.jpg" width="297" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I didn't done nuffink.</i></td></tr>
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</span></i></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">·<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->The convict says that ‘they asked me my
favourite designer. I didn’t know any designers, so I’m a bit scared ‘. So are
we, Monique. So. Are. We.</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">The judges ask Georgia how she feels about
lingerie modelling, to which she answers ‘Well, my dad’s a police officer’.
They ask another model how she feels about the Palestinian conflict, and she
answers ‘Asparagus’.</span></li>
</ul>
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<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">After her good old fashioned convict line-up,
Skye gives the other girls some sage advice: “You don’t know exactly what to
say, you kind of are like, stumblin’ a bit, but you just talk until it comes
out how you want it to”. Obviously Skye
is a lot smarter than she looks.</span></li>
</ul>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj42R-B4Bx3Qan6ghn1u_3e4sTnyBOsLNui1hv637FmFYBNQtP_gT8xqrrhFpwXifAc3xpY6BI1UVRw1mJrCYiFPQnBk-_7ncmazeDHmJFm2ZGzMoPmibEH3zgm46MFJSPFmdPrLA/s654/ANTM7.1+SKYE+LOOKS+SMART.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj42R-B4Bx3Qan6ghn1u_3e4sTnyBOsLNui1hv637FmFYBNQtP_gT8xqrrhFpwXifAc3xpY6BI1UVRw1mJrCYiFPQnBk-_7ncmazeDHmJFm2ZGzMoPmibEH3zgm46MFJSPFmdPrLA/s400/ANTM7.1+SKYE+LOOKS+SMART.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Nope.</i></td></tr>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">I love Madeline. I actually love her. She works
on a banana farm, so I will call her Maddy Banana Paddy. Yes I </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">know</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;"> bananas don’t grow in paddies. Hey
Skye, did you know that bananas don’t grow in paddies?</span></li>
</ul>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj42R-B4Bx3Qan6ghn1u_3e4sTnyBOsLNui1hv637FmFYBNQtP_gT8xqrrhFpwXifAc3xpY6BI1UVRw1mJrCYiFPQnBk-_7ncmazeDHmJFm2ZGzMoPmibEH3zgm46MFJSPFmdPrLA/s654/ANTM7.1+SKYE+LOOKS+SMART.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj42R-B4Bx3Qan6ghn1u_3e4sTnyBOsLNui1hv637FmFYBNQtP_gT8xqrrhFpwXifAc3xpY6BI1UVRw1mJrCYiFPQnBk-_7ncmazeDHmJFm2ZGzMoPmibEH3zgm46MFJSPFmdPrLA/s400/ANTM7.1+SKYE+LOOKS+SMART.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>SHUT. UP.</i></td></tr>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">April is very, very pretty, and seems really
French to me. You know – great bone structure, chic haircut, dead eyes, no
personality. </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">C’est si bon! Tour de France!</i></li>
</ul>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;"> Blonde Brooke was in Miss World Australia last
year, and the year before that her ex-boyfriend passed away. So, y’know –
swings and roundabouts. </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">C’est la vie!
Yoplait!</i></li>
</ul>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;"> Dajana, pronounced sort of like ‘Diana’, is
Bosnian, so while the producers edit in some balalaika in the background,
everyone says ‘wog’ a couple of thousand times. Dajana even calls herself a wog, so let’s all
just jump on that stereotype steam train and blow the whistle.</span></li>
</ul>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNGvseKclSen0_fckzEXGajK037PkW51Zr7hcqbeylMEyO1QDxedMRmRVy7nxzaqA5DNRzr-GID1__ilbvulJu7U_3TX0Llv68BWwK5UXzvqZ9F65UCh8vwJP_prS4PVIgrRVP8g/s510/ANTM8.1+Dajana+mouth+open.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="276" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNGvseKclSen0_fckzEXGajK037PkW51Zr7hcqbeylMEyO1QDxedMRmRVy7nxzaqA5DNRzr-GID1__ilbvulJu7U_3TX0Llv68BWwK5UXzvqZ9F65UCh8vwJP_prS4PVIgrRVP8g/s400/ANTM8.1+Dajana+mouth+open.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">... which gives me the opportunity to welcome back our
favourite adamant little guy:</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPaQnTWtqllXmzrgTJNbhrQqmkUQi3Belsh-D7ra438srVBVAdDVmHdvZNcIt3XnBPvVfuzpYV8ieTqQ1yKkNW9jMySqxCWu94A72_35Bjh8zuVsrNIKUGxHMSF9DJyFYwfAo7Wg/s265/thats-racist3.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPaQnTWtqllXmzrgTJNbhrQqmkUQi3Belsh-D7ra438srVBVAdDVmHdvZNcIt3XnBPvVfuzpYV8ieTqQ1yKkNW9jMySqxCWu94A72_35Bjh8zuVsrNIKUGxHMSF9DJyFYwfAo7Wg/s265/thats-racist3.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Hiiii, adamant little guy.</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Half the girls get chucked. The rest sleep on camp beds in a
warehouse. Modelling, you guys.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Challenged<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The next morning, Diddles wakes the scrags by banging on a
bowl. That’s an actual thing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Met by Mrs Everything, who is dressed for high tea in space,
the modules are told they’ll be walking on a plank across Sydney Harbour,
which gives us the opportunity to laugh at the girls who wobble, giggle at
Dawso when she calls one of the girls a zombie, wonder at the girls who clearly
have a GoPro camera tucked in their cleavage, and cry at the girls who have
just ridiculously, throw-my-television-out-the-windowingly incredible bodies.
Which is all of them. Shit.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Aside from that, it’s just half-naked scrags on a board,
really.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">UNTIL.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Until Duckie from South Sudan takes us through the world’s
most stressful jet landing via semaphore.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIbStdY1bz8FtVMtOl6VEFSrBOkdvqYRM-A08uYWEIee4_Eh6XRQosisd3zBapoHalYyGjyCOHiRpQGVEwU2YgBozDfIIvbBetjbD6PdWEJnYJ8GwtYJXvRP2BEOQcMdYukJhUeA/s350/ANTM7.1+Duckie+Semaphore+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIbStdY1bz8FtVMtOl6VEFSrBOkdvqYRM-A08uYWEIee4_Eh6XRQosisd3zBapoHalYyGjyCOHiRpQGVEwU2YgBozDfIIvbBetjbD6PdWEJnYJ8GwtYJXvRP2BEOQcMdYukJhUeA/s400/ANTM7.1+Duckie+Semaphore+1.jpg" width="328" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>CAUTION FLIGHT QF467, YOU'RE COMING IN TOO FAST</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmbYnvPQqTBN0HcjcIIKj_k4a43ikQzZ3FVIIS2TBX6a4bvHejY8P2MJ0XaBOsbfgVsWBJSQJ90_yZ1I935Y9lEpD77N8QJupytoP7G4blLaxeaUF2j43gUUHXmWPXzbr702Xvdg/s370/ANTM7.1+Duckie+Semaphore+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="372" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmbYnvPQqTBN0HcjcIIKj_k4a43ikQzZ3FVIIS2TBX6a4bvHejY8P2MJ0XaBOsbfgVsWBJSQJ90_yZ1I935Y9lEpD77N8QJupytoP7G4blLaxeaUF2j43gUUHXmWPXzbr702Xvdg/s400/ANTM7.1+Duckie+Semaphore+4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>CLEAR THE RUNWAY GROUND CONTROL THE PILOT IS CONSTIPATED REPEAT CONSTIPATED</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9yFMEiAbq8O26wUsUPqTJNTveVQ7g5kRIxaPVocLRxhG11O4124i6ANUmZnLuWG9cPj7C8YkfMpmnruReoC8QE84uCMYCTXlw1E4V4TyrFSLzr2Hv1wahaRZTGHsS8ifXTJZ77w/s354/ANTM7.1+Duckie+Semaphore+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9yFMEiAbq8O26wUsUPqTJNTveVQ7g5kRIxaPVocLRxhG11O4124i6ANUmZnLuWG9cPj7C8YkfMpmnruReoC8QE84uCMYCTXlw1E4V4TyrFSLzr2Hv1wahaRZTGHsS8ifXTJZ77w/s400/ANTM7.1+Duckie+Semaphore+5.jpg" width="311" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>TELL THE TOWER THAT I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SCRAGS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANK, OVER</i></td></tr>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Phoy-Toys</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Finally</i> we get to
the photo-shoot bit, where the modules don stripy shirts, black jeans and
side-swept hair and are asked to be Edie Sedgwick in Jailhouse Rock because
mixed 60s references, yo.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The three judges explain the concept to the girls, and Dawso
points to the scaffolding behind her and says ‘these are your cells’, which
confuses Skye because she’s pretty sure she brought all her cells with her.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj42R-B4Bx3Qan6ghn1u_3e4sTnyBOsLNui1hv637FmFYBNQtP_gT8xqrrhFpwXifAc3xpY6BI1UVRw1mJrCYiFPQnBk-_7ncmazeDHmJFm2ZGzMoPmibEH3zgm46MFJSPFmdPrLA/s654/ANTM7.1+SKYE+LOOKS+SMART.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj42R-B4Bx3Qan6ghn1u_3e4sTnyBOsLNui1hv637FmFYBNQtP_gT8xqrrhFpwXifAc3xpY6BI1UVRw1mJrCYiFPQnBk-_7ncmazeDHmJFm2ZGzMoPmibEH3zgm46MFJSPFmdPrLA/s400/ANTM7.1+SKYE+LOOKS+SMART.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Includin' all them cytoplasms and mitochondrians and that.</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Every. Single. Girl. Looks spastically beautiful, but it
doesn’t matter, and you know why? Because when Diddles introduces photographer
Mike Naumoff, it sounds like he’s saying ‘New Muff’. That, coupled with the
fact that Mike New Muff has a beard and I’m spastically into guys with beards
right now, means it’s reasonable to suggest
that I had a stroke at that point.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Goods, bads, and indifferents:</span></div>
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</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">April claims to be afraid of heights, yet
maintains her stoical air of monotone robotics. I think if you cut off her arm
with a machete, she’d turn her head slowly to look at you, pause a moment, and
then say “ow”.</span></li>
</ul>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">·<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;"> Maddy Banana Paddy is nervously tense, but I
still kind of want to marry her and skip down a beach hand in hand.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">·<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">Taylah from Western Austraylah is gorgeous,
confident, poses well, and is utterly, utterly terrifying. She’s come a long
way from last year, too – it’s like the rejection sent her into an underground
bunker where she just stockpiled sexy and hair products.</span></li>
</ul>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR91E5M7W3wFMd_VFHLdP26z0_9l9au9PwNOwE9a3QZz6sYT5C6-TR9a7rBkfdBPR_613kpKNIQ6h2lH1D0Bij658ffyIIKVIFIEOwoMNHhDpswAE05lTX52Fodu9QordfV9Wdog/s457/ANTM8.1+Taylah+before.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR91E5M7W3wFMd_VFHLdP26z0_9l9au9PwNOwE9a3QZz6sYT5C6-TR9a7rBkfdBPR_613kpKNIQ6h2lH1D0Bij658ffyIIKVIFIEOwoMNHhDpswAE05lTX52Fodu9QordfV9Wdog/s400/ANTM8.1+Taylah+before.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Before sexy bunker</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz1G3_LNElvXIkATBe9NyYEIX0u9MlSLwCSZzqxOzj4XO2ThYawddBSKBdkiC6Q1a3eSfRHrp2VmPhGyPKUDK6HHFff5kqxLe1K_1AZrUfn2OsP7W4tGPPaetJBEsxYzOxOB3DEg/s446/ANTM8.1+Taylah+after.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz1G3_LNElvXIkATBe9NyYEIX0u9MlSLwCSZzqxOzj4XO2ThYawddBSKBdkiC6Q1a3eSfRHrp2VmPhGyPKUDK6HHFff5kqxLe1K_1AZrUfn2OsP7W4tGPPaetJBEsxYzOxOB3DEg/s400/ANTM8.1+Taylah+after.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>After sexy bunker</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">New Muff has trouble pronouncing Shanali’s name,
but I have no trouble pronouncing her ACHINGLY BEAUTIFUL. Dawso is also
impressed. I... I think.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcHQWjwt-QdIi-XtB25YpDci_8dDOLdgx0thNmmHV8Mi3W9VKY12Sj1lpI3MaI-1V9Ai0tZnPbPOy6IvZveYMz_2_aHLoTMFXKSp6WlNIZSa-rYWkMDR0Y0AwEOgxOWuxnb3fXhw/s538/ANTM8.1+Charlotte+loves+Shanali.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcHQWjwt-QdIi-XtB25YpDci_8dDOLdgx0thNmmHV8Mi3W9VKY12Sj1lpI3MaI-1V9Ai0tZnPbPOy6IvZveYMz_2_aHLoTMFXKSp6WlNIZSa-rYWkMDR0Y0AwEOgxOWuxnb3fXhw/s400/ANTM8.1+Charlotte+loves+Shanali.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Although she may also have had a stroke at this point.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">Melissa is tiny (except for her forehead,
obviously) and compelling and adorable and beautiful, but the judges are
worried she’s too short. Shiny Alex Perry suggests that ‘maybe we can fertilise
her’, which earns him a very, very special trophy.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMe05t0D1MFjTVVKAas0rNQTge7G35S-INZpewQzgA3P9SrLgeEVKfVsw-5ACX6hiJELFQkyg0XWIUss60q2PJo91W6ROzBkvS6H6iChuMuvx7vgtl0paZUkyooA49_njFPqfRPg/s240/dUDE+NO+TROPHY.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMe05t0D1MFjTVVKAas0rNQTge7G35S-INZpewQzgA3P9SrLgeEVKfVsw-5ACX6hiJELFQkyg0XWIUss60q2PJo91W6ROzBkvS6H6iChuMuvx7vgtl0paZUkyooA49_njFPqfRPg/s400/dUDE+NO+TROPHY.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eliminationosity<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Suddenly we’re back in a shiny Eliminatorium, where the
judges are dressed as the four major food groups – Citrus, Picnic Blanket,
Vegan, and Mutton. We’re ready to find out who the final fifteen scrags are as
the judges sort through photographs and say things like ‘I don’t think that’s
a very memorable head’, which is obviously awesome. Even more/less awesome is
when Chanique and Shanali’s names are said together, and I instantly get the
Laverne & Shirley theme song in my head. </span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/9AIaakO9YDw?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Chanique! Shanali! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lucky for you, there’s a reasonable chance I’ll include a
70s or 80s sit-com theme reference in the recap each week. You really get your
money’s worth here at Jo Blogs. PS: send money.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jen Hawkins Mrs Everything announces that it’s ‘time to
deliver the final sentence’, and the Amazing Psychic Desk has something to say
about that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6-fTK200y6X7xdGbMyRlecE3ZoyvIPD2LG5NN_A7sydYBTmlHZ3v-9715N6itL10RfSPgh0IdCGyTpQ2_YZaMYnAyOojnBHFt4Oy7UOcGaWL7XjUiclt-u_kV9on-fq5Bwnr-IQ/s723/ANTM8.1+Psychic+Desk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6-fTK200y6X7xdGbMyRlecE3ZoyvIPD2LG5NN_A7sydYBTmlHZ3v-9715N6itL10RfSPgh0IdCGyTpQ2_YZaMYnAyOojnBHFt4Oy7UOcGaWL7XjUiclt-u_kV9on-fq5Bwnr-IQ/s400/ANTM8.1+Psychic+Desk.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Hiiii Amazing Psychic Desk</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The modules file in, and for some reason the editors see fit
to show us how nervous the girls are with a close-up on someone’s vagina. How
are you feeling, someone’s vagina?</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIU3au6VoaHmMthu3INrXibYbs63oCEXJzFs3pSGuBUY1Uta1RzQMqyLYsLOpWexGHhJaYfc6f3aVHtdHzIMbt6TfzQgO9Kv5mloUkmlT2jbLPifZGxsm_1SI7QSk5FMpBFGpdQw/s633/ANTM8.1+Nervous+crotch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIU3au6VoaHmMthu3INrXibYbs63oCEXJzFs3pSGuBUY1Uta1RzQMqyLYsLOpWexGHhJaYfc6f3aVHtdHzIMbt6TfzQgO9Kv5mloUkmlT2jbLPifZGxsm_1SI7QSk5FMpBFGpdQw/s400/ANTM8.1+Nervous+crotch.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Delivery of the news is quick and painless. HA! Kidding,
this is reality television. Delivery of the news is drawn-out and agonising.
Brunette Brooke seems eerily confident.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi3sCjQPIw1tCliXm6RYkFYR88sMmvqT4d4d1-7r9PvOFS2Uwmj0UvxfFhH1lns6drMzC3ZDlVO0ysCOP8P631TLa4Yf0Xqg8I1JzFMqqciBNaBe81MnspalZn4Dpb-c9XZPd_jw/s624/ANTM8.1+ROSIE+SOON.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi3sCjQPIw1tCliXm6RYkFYR88sMmvqT4d4d1-7r9PvOFS2Uwmj0UvxfFhH1lns6drMzC3ZDlVO0ysCOP8P631TLa4Yf0Xqg8I1JzFMqqciBNaBe81MnspalZn4Dpb-c9XZPd_jw/s400/ANTM8.1+ROSIE+SOON.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Let's see how that goes, eh?</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Skye is eliminated, and the IQ in the room jumps
thirty-eight points. Gorgeous Georgia is eliminated, and the sadness in my
heart jumps thirty-eight points. Finally there are two girls left – French
Robot April and Brunette Brooke – but only one space in the house.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eight years pass, and Shiny Alex Perry eliminates Brunette
Brooke with lasers shot directly out of his eyes.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEfZXfys7PIVLryry1ccGj6KawYc-23vTHjhkwmwbbQtSBvtchSVX4iXNj3N-_-Uc3c27FxNZw9JviGbLLHIxVZ7ez4RFBGovbnwxqLHoSMl6TRZj6XtdGJgKReAZE4Wb6aX658w/s1062/ANTM8.1+AP+laser+eyes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="203" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEfZXfys7PIVLryry1ccGj6KawYc-23vTHjhkwmwbbQtSBvtchSVX4iXNj3N-_-Uc3c27FxNZw9JviGbLLHIxVZ7ez4RFBGovbnwxqLHoSMl6TRZj6XtdGJgKReAZE4Wb6aX658w/s400/ANTM8.1+AP+laser+eyes.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_O3lKgPe2dxPSJGQl6rbMXzPQtNjtnlpzzsHpy_Pcxb0YXhBZjX7NzTH_VZH3hc7-KikvKfOcZNg0vueIzwLLo1Ys__uoxqss4Ky5MwImlmA052W_s9PWmfkdFZ-EgFu79-a_NQ/s981/ANTM8.1+Brook+laser+burn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_O3lKgPe2dxPSJGQl6rbMXzPQtNjtnlpzzsHpy_Pcxb0YXhBZjX7NzTH_VZH3hc7-KikvKfOcZNg0vueIzwLLo1Ys__uoxqss4Ky5MwImlmA052W_s9PWmfkdFZ-EgFu79-a_NQ/s400/ANTM8.1+Brook+laser+burn.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>PEW PEW GAFLOOMSH</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Excitedly, Mrs Everything announces to the remaining girls
that “You will all be jetting off to the exotic Asian destination of
Thailand!”, and exotic Asian ladies in exotic Asian costumes rush in and chuck
exotic Asian petals in the air.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Which is nice.</span></div>
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Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-8266108011081164092013-04-27T11:53:00.001+10:002013-04-27T11:53:23.417+10:00Uncomfortable Truths<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hi. I like your shoes, are they new?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">About a year ago, I wrote this for a truly excellent independent wordy juggernaut called <a href="http://www.kingstribune.com/" target="_blank">The King's Tribune</a>, which you should definitely pay the pittance they ask for to get it delivered, all quivering and moist, into your inbox every week.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And now I'm reproducing this thing here, because its intention is to make people feel bad and I'm a bitch who likes that kind of thing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTHS</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">People eat dead animals because they are delicious. People
do everything they can while they’re eating dead animals, or purchasing parts
of dead animals to eat later, to ignore the fact that we know that these
animals have been grown and killed and chopped up for us to eat. We ignore that
fact because it gets in the way of us enjoying our meal of dead animal parts
and crackling. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bindi Irwin has boobs now.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Generally speaking, women are physically weaker than men.
They’re more likely to make decisions based on emotion. Mind you, they’re a lot
less likely to make decisions based on what their penises want, so there’s
that. Still, there is no good reason that women can’t or shouldn’t serve in the
armed forces or go to war or lead countries or run companies or build bridges
or control spacecraft. Almost none of those things have jars in them that need
opening. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Penis size does matter. Not as much as you think it does.
But it matters. There’s such a thing as too small, and there’s such a thing as
too big. You are not either of those things. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There’s a reasonable chance that Tony Abbott will be prime
minister of Australia. There are people who will vote for Tony Abbott based on
his personality alone. There are people who think it’s fine to see the outline
of Tony Abbott’s genitals nestled in their Speedo hammock. They think that’s
just okey-dokey.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Kyle Sandilands is liked by tens of thousands of people. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">People don’t like to look at the physical deformities of
others, or at people in wheelchairs. When people pass people with obvious
physical deformities in the street, they notice them, but they pretend they
haven’t noticed them. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">People treat people with disabilities differently. People
are nervous and uncomfortable around people with disabilities. They think more
carefully about what they say to and around people with disabilities.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Human beings like the smell of their own farts and the smell
of their own feet. Human beings are sometimes disappointed when they clean
their ears with a cotton bud and it comes out more or less clean. They’re
disappointed when they floss their teeth and no chunks of spitty food come out
on the string. They like squeezing blackheads. They like getting a big chunk of
sleep-crust out of their eyes. They pick their noses. They wee in the shower. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Some nuns are horrible, horrible people.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When we see someone on the street collecting for charity or a
homeless person asking for money, sometimes we make up an excuse not to give
them anything. We might have a couple of different excuses that we use at
different times, but we have one favourite excuse that we use more often than
the others.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Elle Macpherson has at least one grey pube now.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We only want to look after the planet if it’s easy,
comfortable and convenient. It would be better for the planet if we didn’t use
electricity. It would be better for the planet if we didn’t use plastic. It
would be better for the planet if we didn’t travel anywhere except by foot. It
would be better for the planet if we didn’t use soap or detergent. But for now,
let’s separate our rubbish into vegetation, recyclables, and other. Mostly.
Sometimes. Do we have to tear the little windows out of envelopes? Because we
do not want to have to do that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We’re racist. At the absolute and very least, we expect to
see stereotypical traits or behaviour in people of particular races, including
our own. Of course, the best thing to do as highly evolved humans is to rise
above our racist impulses and not make any judgements or choices or decisions
based on race. But we do. We’re racist.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Children are a pain in the arse.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We become less physically attracted to our partners as time
goes on. We have other things to keep us going, like romantic love and support
and comfort and reliability and companionship and both digging the shit out of
crumpets with butter and honey. But we’re not as jazzed about our partner as we
used to be. And sometimes what we thought was forever isn’t. And sometimes we
just go along with things anyway, because it’s better than being alone. Either
way, those quirky habits that you used to think were borderline adorable are
now the main reason you want to stab each other in your sleep. And oh, god. Is
that an ear hair? That’s an ear hair.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Genitals are ugly and periods are gross.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We believe that people who believe in things that we don’t
believe in are stupider than we are. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Attractive people will be presented with more and better
opportunities in life than unattractive people.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Our parents lied to us about things. So many things.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We should get that mole looked at. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We have friends that we don’t really like. We say bad things
about them to other people, but we’re nice to their face. Some of our friends
don’t really like us. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Parents have a favourite child. Your parents had a favourite
child. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">People with sun tans look better than people without sun tans.
Slim people look better than overweight people. Acne is off-putting. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We judge people based on what they do for a living. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We wonder what our friends look like having sex, and then
immediately wish that we hadn’t. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">People in cities barely pay any attention to the needs of people
who live in the rest of the country, and find it far more comfortable that way.
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We will give money to charity, but we’d rather not
volunteer. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We like watching extremely famous and rich American
celebrities going off the deep end and damaging their careers. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Somebody is still watching Australia’s Funniest Home Videos.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We look into the shopping trolleys of fat people. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We want our exes to go out with people who are uglier than
we are. We want them to see us with someone more attractive than they are. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We would rather that our children didn’t turn out to be gay.
Being gay is more difficult than not being gay. Gay people are more likely to
face prejudice, or be treated differently, or be teased and bullied, or not
afforded the same rights as heterosexuals. We don’t want our children to have
to deal with that. Life is easier for straight people.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We lie to people about how their haircuts look. They lie to
us about how our haircut looks.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There are millions of tiny animals on you, right now. Some
of them are feeding on you. They’re eating your dead skin. They’re crawling
through your eyelashes. They’re in your intestines. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We don’t know what it’s like to die, but we’re going to find
out.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sometimes, just seeing the word ‘yawn’ in print can make you
yawn. Especially if the word ‘yawn’ is in a sentence a lot, or stretched out
like this: yaw-haw-haw-haw-hawn. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Once, you sneezed and got some mucus on your hand, and you
wiped your hand on your clothes or on the tablecloth or on your friend’s
furniture. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When your friends have problems, you don’t always want to
hear about them, especially if it’s about the time they found someone’s mucus
on their couch. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When your friends break up with someone, you don’t want them to
keep talking and talking and talking about it, even if it makes them feel
better. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You pretend you have to get off the phone, even when you
don’t.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You washed it in the washing machine even though it said
‘dry clean only’. You opened it at this end even though it said ‘open other
end’. You used it after its expiry date. You didn’t wash it before putting it
into the salad. You told them there was no garlic in it even though you put
garlic in it. You made it from a packet but you told them you made it from
scratch. You used one and threw the rest in the bin. You just scraped the
mouldy bit off. You can’t be bothered, so they’re having chicken nuggets. When
they asked if anyone had any chocolate, you lied even though you had chocolate.
You put salt in it. You didn’t check what kind of eggs they were. You tried a
grape in the fruit and veg section. You ate it straight out of the jar. You ate
it off a knife. It fell on your lap and you picked it up and ate it anyway. It
fell on the floor and you picked it up and ate it anyway. You ate a Chiko Roll.
You served yourself the biggest one. You’re not always a vegetarian. You ate
the whole packet yourself. You ate the whole packet yourself on the way home.
You ate other people’s leftovers while you were cleaning up the kitchen. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That is seriously the ugliest baby you have ever seen. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Porn.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-41943056382678166312012-07-16T13:04:00.001+10:002012-07-16T13:04:47.813+10:00Yet I Still Don't Know How To Say 'Meme' Out Loud<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">By now, whether or not you know how to pronounce it ('meem' to rhyme with 'team'? 'Mee-mee' to rhyme with 'seamy'? 'Mem' to rhyme with 'them'? 'Morange'?), you should know what a meme is. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you don't, then </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_meme" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">here's a hint</span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">, and Mum I think it's <em>adorable</em> that you still read my blog.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Either way, I have never been quite so enchanted in my life as I am with the ERMAHGERD meme. Because I'm all highbrow and university-graduatey and shit. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was first made aware of it with this piece of pop-cultural magnificence:</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjDQY-g-5ycObH2ay7XLHJ0fPHjYHySfunvSLnEuExXUeC6B1bvrsClF-sJcwnIXJo2MzlnWGxQgncpFjfLjOJ5m8Iw265TuCItLA3S87OnyivZs7yfS94dQayhQ15kD37pV1ndA/s1600/gERSBERMS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img $ca="true" border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjDQY-g-5ycObH2ay7XLHJ0fPHjYHySfunvSLnEuExXUeC6B1bvrsClF-sJcwnIXJo2MzlnWGxQgncpFjfLjOJ5m8Iw265TuCItLA3S87OnyivZs7yfS94dQayhQ15kD37pV1ndA/s400/gERSBERMS.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Which quickly and firmly found its way into my heart and made me laugh until I farted just a tiny, tiny bit.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Quite soon, I became aware of other variations, most notably those of animals becoming quite excited about an impending meal or plaything or whatnot, thusly:</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDCpRhhBY8bMD7U4B0JAGHOReQKPKo44oyoDtqOkkNW0lL1HY0BrNHLzWP-AAtX8UNJwceERNekIagiDgruE1ptcmuN_o9WGhZyjUYWPKe9YLMLKzOfXNU_UQ-xJJumnTwi17l_Q/s1600/ternershberl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img $ca="true" border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDCpRhhBY8bMD7U4B0JAGHOReQKPKo44oyoDtqOkkNW0lL1HY0BrNHLzWP-AAtX8UNJwceERNekIagiDgruE1ptcmuN_o9WGhZyjUYWPKe9YLMLKzOfXNU_UQ-xJJumnTwi17l_Q/s400/ternershberl.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDuWS-RfPZGp94b6zTvpnhFZuNCnnaoGoErJkn8s9eCBnB-W3qHOzl_41pA9nNHWBhI0wT4vwVr0mNeGF799Swm8c4FaIu4rl2wxENxb-UAurVRRH_puZ6dS_NNtQZ9_iox_Jg-A/s1600/ferncer+ferst.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img $ca="true" border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDuWS-RfPZGp94b6zTvpnhFZuNCnnaoGoErJkn8s9eCBnB-W3qHOzl_41pA9nNHWBhI0wT4vwVr0mNeGF799Swm8c4FaIu4rl2wxENxb-UAurVRRH_puZ6dS_NNtQZ9_iox_Jg-A/s400/ferncer+ferst.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip6JO0g9zwZojy6NE-WOzMdk11-VHYvEXJEzg4MSVJkErWX8pyS39T0KkClT3MFN8E3M0DgV4qPSmd-Pgo3hIq4bdX-ye0VCsEgF2xIWOToODDWlEMSMVDgqIiOM3GIvevRT2Lkw/s1600/Kerrerts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img $ca="true" border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip6JO0g9zwZojy6NE-WOzMdk11-VHYvEXJEzg4MSVJkErWX8pyS39T0KkClT3MFN8E3M0DgV4qPSmd-Pgo3hIq4bdX-ye0VCsEgF2xIWOToODDWlEMSMVDgqIiOM3GIvevRT2Lkw/s400/Kerrerts.jpg" width="260" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">See, right, because bunnies like carrots.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Not wanting to miss out/badly wanting to fundamentally misunderstand the premise of this meme, I took it upon myself to make a few of my own.</span><br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJWfapAI9rMHIoLs20ocqUaqMliRFToiaw-akFO46tmeLTjqQTdTiOZYILXZOqadsRVpUadtm5Y5SuACVobMHqJavbUb0m9sVLSv0BqoUZepArl_DVHG53395NX_-aJjP8GyyrNg/s1600/ERMAHGERD3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img $ca="true" border="0" height="287" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJWfapAI9rMHIoLs20ocqUaqMliRFToiaw-akFO46tmeLTjqQTdTiOZYILXZOqadsRVpUadtm5Y5SuACVobMHqJavbUb0m9sVLSv0BqoUZepArl_DVHG53395NX_-aJjP8GyyrNg/s400/ERMAHGERD3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPJx9hRTEE_WH4lOlClj6pY8cm2UTKxC-BG4mrXdcgVFaoVe4qT6kDY7JXfy5RPh0Pr8Cgolr_IJQ2PEoTJAdDErG2217JscFTXJkBXh_rtAtr26PH72noPGCnSKWY1_dc-H7KjA/s1600/ERMAHGERD.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img $ca="true" border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPJx9hRTEE_WH4lOlClj6pY8cm2UTKxC-BG4mrXdcgVFaoVe4qT6kDY7JXfy5RPh0Pr8Cgolr_IJQ2PEoTJAdDErG2217JscFTXJkBXh_rtAtr26PH72noPGCnSKWY1_dc-H7KjA/s400/ERMAHGERD.jpg" width="315" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitmMO63J0iYRZFgazsJWe1j-HuMn_6-2qCgsVy3bXcr05darLUx-I6gMUYQhc071BpWTvVEtgzseO0EpB02ZbyDQ-xmKBy2RVfnJ49plmX8oTOOfphVOGFsk-T4oxu6xVo0o_BeA/s1600/ERMAHGERD2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img $ca="true" border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitmMO63J0iYRZFgazsJWe1j-HuMn_6-2qCgsVy3bXcr05darLUx-I6gMUYQhc071BpWTvVEtgzseO0EpB02ZbyDQ-xmKBy2RVfnJ49plmX8oTOOfphVOGFsk-T4oxu6xVo0o_BeA/s400/ERMAHGERD2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGwYRoQ5AX6QAmXW_56JWTdEAedXu8fTOgECXo-DQHfztNQC2ewjJ68Xoy0NMoZ7GNJOJP2M0fCn0OsiDMOGsQo-fC0DKEWRNTqsPP6Fbc8INC-10qQP2eKyyDzKu1-vQbSYMzpQ/s1600/ERMAHGERD4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img $ca="true" border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGwYRoQ5AX6QAmXW_56JWTdEAedXu8fTOgECXo-DQHfztNQC2ewjJ68Xoy0NMoZ7GNJOJP2M0fCn0OsiDMOGsQo-fC0DKEWRNTqsPP6Fbc8INC-10qQP2eKyyDzKu1-vQbSYMzpQ/s400/ERMAHGERD4.jpg" width="317" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Yes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">This whole time I was just leading up to my own shit.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">What, are you new here?</span><br />
<br />
<br />Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-33435104647553753272012-04-10T14:41:00.000+10:002012-04-10T14:41:04.752+10:00The CnB Initiative<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know. I know.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">It's been a long time between thingetties on this here bizzo.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Of course, with <a href="https://twitter.com/#!/jothornely" target="_blank">Twitter</a> taking care of all my brief things (except my actual briefs, but that's only a matter of time, surely), and Australia's Next Top Model being on hiatus until next year (any aspiring contestants can look up the word 'hiatus' <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hiatus?s=t" target="_blank">here</a>) what am I going to write about?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">THE COCK N' BALLS INITIATIVE IS WHAT.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">See, my mate Russ has an unofficial Pictionary rule that whenever you draw a picture, it has to include a cock n' balls in it somewhere. It doesn't have to be good. It just has to be present. Like this, for example:</span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5gU5dpYgyN8renXNOLLp7pgCSnvYfyBg92_hiCrZalCeI2pLSynkvRvUEiaAmta3PbuJruHEM-vHsdnw2rKWuHSypvIAsTA9zsCt5UuBA-PKFj_fzS77pxZVQh0wjyDcwpWAWPw/s1600/Baby+Fish+Mouth+CnB.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="275" nda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5gU5dpYgyN8renXNOLLp7pgCSnvYfyBg92_hiCrZalCeI2pLSynkvRvUEiaAmta3PbuJruHEM-vHsdnw2rKWuHSypvIAsTA9zsCt5UuBA-PKFj_fzS77pxZVQh0wjyDcwpWAWPw/s400/Baby+Fish+Mouth+CnB.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I call this one 'Baby Fish Mouth With Cock N' Balls'<br />
</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The always-classy <a href="https://twitter.com/#!/BertMaverick" target="_blank">Bert Maverick</a> extended this rule to encompass Draw Something, so that everyone who plays against him gets an oddly malformed little bonus. Or 'boners', as it were.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Less than a week ago, <a href="https://twitter.com/#!/shellity" target="_blank">Shellity</a> and I were flying on an aeroplane in the sky, when she decided it might be fun to draw the good ol' Cock N' Balls in the inflight magazine. That got us talking like grown-ups, and the <strong>Cock N' Balls Initiative </strong>was born.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Here are the instructions:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">1. Whenever you find yourself in the presence of publicly-available magazines that other people have access to, like inflight magazines or waiting room magazines (NOT shops that sell magazines), draw a cock n' balls in it. Anywhere you'd feel fine completing a crossword or quiz in a magazine probably qualifies.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">2. If possible, take a photo of it and post it to your Twitter account or Facebook doo-hickey (I forget what they're called).</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">3. Leave the magazine for others to find.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">4. If you happen to FIND a cock n' balls drawing that someone else has left for you, you can feel that warm, fuzzy feeling that only being part of a secret international community can give you. And also take a photo and post it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Here's a couple to get you started:</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWME5l-S9IA-EwS264gSAoGI9kLzjWx18nx1ckVjLs1W5PYFVekP3-FZiGB_wfc5ZV6je1nfyvt9w3dB8MMks8xlGMo61MfnSxoZr8TQHNaGK43OwaDBFrpuKPDBHzeRGrwKw6OA/s1600/CNB+QF431.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" nda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWME5l-S9IA-EwS264gSAoGI9kLzjWx18nx1ckVjLs1W5PYFVekP3-FZiGB_wfc5ZV6je1nfyvt9w3dB8MMks8xlGMo61MfnSxoZr8TQHNaGK43OwaDBFrpuKPDBHzeRGrwKw6OA/s320/CNB+QF431.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">QF431, Sydney to Melbourne, by Shellity.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVs4uDgsO28Wwewo8ge-h9FNq4JX0qvEJUQPsrmn_lun8F3vyHJCoMBd8iSG2ddnpluahrlTo4JFTxnFGF4sgAsiQQnGH-x4cjQt1nxRYyMjhspnBK4zEB-rqF8ZWtZ8ZzxNH7pg/s1600/CNB+QF452.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" nda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVs4uDgsO28Wwewo8ge-h9FNq4JX0qvEJUQPsrmn_lun8F3vyHJCoMBd8iSG2ddnpluahrlTo4JFTxnFGF4sgAsiQQnGH-x4cjQt1nxRYyMjhspnBK4zEB-rqF8ZWtZ8ZzxNH7pg/s320/CNB+QF452.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">QF425, Melbourne to Sydney, by me.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If we all work together, we can make the CnB Initiative a thing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Who's in?</span>Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-55958062987087658852011-11-29T09:03:00.000+11:002011-11-29T09:03:26.467+11:00Sit On Myspace And Tell Me That You Love Me #5<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Okay, okay, so I received this particular moist and poetic come-on via email, not Myspace, but come <em>on</em>. That title is the best pun I’ve ever used, and I’m clinging onto it like the last midget at a… a midget… capturing… party. Shut up. They have those.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
If you need to catch up, you can read about how I’ve been relentlessly pursued by amorous digital suitors of all genders <u><a href="http://jo-joblogs.blogspot.com/search/label/Sit%20On%20Myspace">here</a></u>. I guess they single me out because they heard I have a nipple-shaped birthmark on the top of my head. Extra nipple = value for money. It's simple economics. And sexy.<br />
<br />
Except they <em>didn’t</em> single me out. The following email was sent to six people, all with the same first name as me. My new stalker is such. A slut. Here’s what she said, with my comments.<br />
<br />
<strong>From: Lina</strong><br />
<strong><br />
</strong><br />
<strong>Sent: Friday 25 November 2011 5:10:04 AM</strong><br />
<strong><br />
</strong><br />
<strong>A GOOD OLD COUNRTY BOY THATS GOOD TO THEIR WOMEN</strong><br />
<br />
<em>Okay, so you’re after someone good. I’m good. You’re after someone old. I’m… depends on your definition of ‘old’. You want someone ‘counrty’. I guess you’ve misspelled one of two words there, so I might be able to help you. But if you want a boy without apostrophes, you have come to the wrong place, Lina. I am a girl with many, many <strike>nipples</strike> apostrophes.</em><br />
<br />
<strong>Privet!</strong><br />
<br />
Privet? That’s a hedge. It’s a hedge. Although in this case I’ll just assume it’s a euphemism for pubic hair dressed up as a greeting, in which case I’ll respond with: Labia to you, my friend!<br />
<br />
<strong>The greatest tragedy of life is not that the men perish, but that they cease to love.</strong><br />
<br />
<em>Yeah, well I’ve got a bit of a policy that after they perish, I kind of leave them alone. There’s a bunch of laws relating to loving on after they’ve died, Lina.</em><br />
<br />
<strong>There is an ocean between us, my honey, and I wish that it were not true, for every day when I awake I yearn to be with you.</strong><br />
<strong><br />
</strong><br />
<em>You should buy your honey from somewhere else. Problem solved.</em><br />
<br />
<strong>There are many miles between us, my love, though you are always here in my heart.</strong><br />
<br />
<em>I get it. We’re a long way away from each other. Get on Skype and I’ll do you a little dance to take the edge off. They’re all my own moves, too, unless you’ve seen the music video for Michael Jackson’s ‘Bad’. </em><br />
<br />
<strong>I feel you and imagine our first meeting under the starts.</strong><br />
<br />
<em>Feeling me makes you spell badly? Maybe I should wax or something.</em><br />
<br />
<strong>Every night beneath the silver starlight I pray for the day we will never part http://websitenobodyshouldeverclickon.in</strong><br />
<br />
<em>That day is totally here! I promise you, we will never part. We will stay exactly as close as we are now forever and ever. </em><br />
<br />
<strong>Sweet goodbye</strong><br />
<strong><br />
</strong><br />
<strong>Li N</strong><br />
<br />
<em>Bye, darling. Or should I say: Privet! </em><br />
<br />
I just can't understand why I only attract borderline-illiterate lesbians. It's probably my deodorant.Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-50110652330985335362011-10-26T14:36:00.001+11:002011-10-27T14:11:38.882+11:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven - THE FINALE<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What? You’re still here? It’s over, you weirdos. Demelza won. Go home.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh, for the love of camel nipples, ALRIGHT. FINE. Have your frikkin’ recap, then. Sorry it’s late – I had to wash the champagne out of my frock and the taste of victory out of my mouth. Also, if any of you can tell me whose house this is that I woke up in, that would be AMAZING. But I think I maimed their dog.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rather than painstakingly going through the finale episode with a fine-toothed comb like yoo-shoo-wall, I sat in my seat at the Opera House scribbling in my notebook, which seemed like a good idea at the time. That time before I opened my notebook this morning and found the phrase ‘IT’S THE GODDAMN OPERA HOUSE, BITCHES!!’ scrawled in capital letters across the top of one page with five pages of complete bollocks after it. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So basically, you’re getting bullet-points. Aaaand I’m making most of them up. Aaaand they’re not even bullets, they’re little dots. Seriously, ‘bullet’ is a stupider name than ‘Bindi’. Unless you’re a cowboy, I suppose. WHAT. WHAT. I HAD A LOT TO DRINK.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">******</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">IT’S THE GODDAMN OPERA HOUSE, BITCHES!</span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Things there were lots of:</span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1. The word ‘journey’. It’s law that ‘journey’ has to be included in any reality television show final a minimum of six thousand times. I only counted eighty-seven. Pull your socks up, Australia’s Next Top Model.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2. The word ‘expensive’. Shiny Alex Perry is using it as punctuation now. </span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3. Montage packages. And also Liztage packages and Simtage packages. </span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4. Costume changes. I tried to write down descriptions of each frock, but they changed so quickly and often that I resigned myself to just writing ‘cloth’ in the margin. They were cloth. And there were many.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">5. Short Stack songs. Sure, there was only one, but ask yourself how many is too many. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So Neo is wearing her wig again. That seems like a good decision. I made a decision that good once, and ended up with a papercut, a bag of dead mice, and a great story about cleaning fruit stains off the ceiling. </span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So Izzy has her pink hair back again. This actually <i>is</i> a good decision. Izzy with pink hair is like a monkey in a top hat and waistcoat – you don’t want to like it and it annoys the monkey and makes the waistcoat smell like a mixture of fleas, bananas and popcorn, but you just know it’s right. </span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Seriously. Short Stack are a lot of different kinds of shit.</span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maddy wins the ‘Favourite Model’ prize! She also wins the ‘Concrete-Lacquered Hair-Helmet’ prize, but the trophy is too big to fit in the taxi afterwards. Shame.</span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shiny Alex Perry and Charlotte Dawson, one dressed as Alex Perry and the other dressed by him, which thankfully worked out, were perched up in balcony seats for most of the show like Waldorf and Statler from the Muppets except that Waldorf and Statler from the Muppets don't wear sunglasses or say ‘knickers’.</span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjepsQvN03ycYEFpqCgDwPsd9MiQQMJKCzMrHA8PzBNAcwGeRECmEBxNpZyQBkp0DH2q3Ath86QOjAVYKPFHlz5JK5XB1i3Wxp0XiLJpwYm4t2veLChPcq97NeyBukszUFspgcV6g/s1600/ANTM7.13+Perry+Dawson+Muppets.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="346" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjepsQvN03ycYEFpqCgDwPsd9MiQQMJKCzMrHA8PzBNAcwGeRECmEBxNpZyQBkp0DH2q3Ath86QOjAVYKPFHlz5JK5XB1i3Wxp0XiLJpwYm4t2veLChPcq97NeyBukszUFspgcV6g/s400/ANTM7.13+Perry+Dawson+Muppets.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I doubt she’d thank me for pointing it out, but Rachel still walks like a three-legged horse in cardboard shoes. Come to think of it, she probably <i>would</i> thank me. </span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Harpers Bazaar shoot is like chocolate-coated cheese wrapped in sugared unicorns and orgasms. </span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’m not even joking. Short Stack sucks dead hobo arse.</span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Doik Simone comes third. She’s used to coming third, though, as her boobs generally enter any room about seven minutes before she does. </span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">NOBODY MENTION LAST YEAR’S FUCK UP. DO NOT MENTION IT. SHUT UP. DON’T EVEN.</span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Montana wins. This is as surprising as opening a book of teenage poetry and finding pages full of dreary emotional wank inside. But. Y’know. Congratulations and that.</span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There were two after parties, and I weasled my way (see: showed my wristband) into both. Highlights for me (and I’m sure there were different highlights for other people, but who am I, Gandhi? ) were:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My mate Shane made a bunch of Brigitte-Nielsen-heads on sticks. WITH EYEHOLES. Josh Flinn now owns one. I reckon I’m totally set for life now, because everyone loves eyeholes.</span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I accidentally called Teary Tayah ‘Teary Tayah’ to her face. I dunno, she looked a bit upset about it.</span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Caroline grabbed my arm and shouted across the room “MUM! MUM! This is the girl who called me an arsehole for six weeks!”. Her mum cupped her ear and shouted back “What? She designed your dress?”. I just nodded, because sure, I design dresses for arseholes now.</span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In return for calling her an arsehole for six weeks, Caroline threw a drink in my face. I HAVE WAITED FOR SOMEONE TO DO THAT FOR FIVE FRIGGING YEARS. Now all I need is a free Alex Perry frock and I can finally stop blogging forever.</span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Megan Gale swore.</span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><ul><li><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I met some of you. That sounds like I’m getting soppy and stuff, including that as a highlight, all nawww she loves her readers and crap, but I’m specifically referring to the bit where you told me I was funny. Hugs are nice too, but come on – I would electrocute a hug in the bath for another compliment.</span></div></li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So now, with the last bit of alcohol-soaked brain that I scraped out of the bottom of my handbag, here’s the LAST VERSE of my country song summarising the series episode by episode. Things don’t have to have a point to be achievements. They just have to rhyme.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’m huuuuuung</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Over as fuck, so you’re out of luck, ‘cause I can’t be bothered rhyming;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So Montana won, and I already told you I’m not rhyming, so get stuffed.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But really. As Rachel would no doubt say over and over and over and over again, thank you. No, really, thanks for reading. Ta. Sorry. Thank you.</span></div>Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-62047416681937123192011-10-24T20:46:00.000+11:002011-10-24T20:46:42.962+11:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven #12 - PENULTIMACY<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Okay, first: a bit of housekeeping. At the beginning of this series, I hired an actuary to keep a tally of the number of times anyone on the screen:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">a) Clapped and said ‘woo’;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">b) Used the phrase ‘oh my god’; or</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">c) Said “we had no idea” in any context.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yeah. He... well, let’s just say he quit.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjblpgKXrJrSyx_JgndTlJl_bXVYfECt2Ha46XVqBVurO2k7Bo45DWD6rLkvrxXsyfboubjMEOp155YQuq1uWFBlNuP-V0WlhzR9UQlXpwkP4JZPEtFmhFOfQV0h5pwpJlo2yMjRg/s1600/ANTM7.12+Exploding+accountant.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="277" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjblpgKXrJrSyx_JgndTlJl_bXVYfECt2Ha46XVqBVurO2k7Bo45DWD6rLkvrxXsyfboubjMEOp155YQuq1uWFBlNuP-V0WlhzR9UQlXpwkP4JZPEtFmhFOfQV0h5pwpJlo2yMjRg/s400/ANTM7.12+Exploding+accountant.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Secondly, a warning: this episode takes place in another country. We should probably just get this out of the way right now as a kind of blanket statement:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj90pqWusoB23z2Q5ZLo238j6_GeZDrOROUT_w8ItST5L42M38nkWtG8JZMrfu8VpYTlyFetlrA_5vRvLo6h4RNuk-vxpP4Af9XQmBIDM7VtWyMYyeqSRTENFLfG0LYxk6zZXbPHQ/s1600/ANTM7.4+That%2527s+Racist.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj90pqWusoB23z2Q5ZLo238j6_GeZDrOROUT_w8ItST5L42M38nkWtG8JZMrfu8VpYTlyFetlrA_5vRvLo6h4RNuk-vxpP4Af9XQmBIDM7VtWyMYyeqSRTENFLfG0LYxk6zZXbPHQ/s320/ANTM7.4+That%2527s+Racist.gif" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Welcome back, little dude.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s sand, souks, niqabs, nipples, bouffants and brows in this, the ‘I’ve Been Through The Desert On A Scrag With No Name’ episode of <i>Australia’s Next Top Model.</i> Ugh. Sand in my gusset.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">******</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A live Sarah Mail arrives at the Module Mansion, as Saint Sarah breezes into the packed-up loungeroom to farwell the girls. “Think back to the top one hundred, remember back then? When you went off to Paris?”. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ummm no, not ringing a bell. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">OH PLEASE, THESE GIRLS HAVE <i>PIMPLES</i> FROM BEFORE THEN.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sorry. Sorry. I’m just really uptight about the end of this competition. After this is over I’ll have to go back to screen-capping and judging my own life, and nobody wants to read about not being able to find a shoe or having trouble getting my ideal mix of pillows right. What? Oh, right.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">THEY’RE GOING TO DUBAAAAAAIIIII!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wait – where’s that again? We’d better show the modules on a map, as they’ve come up a little short in the ol’ knowing-their-geography department more than once before.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkB5xv5idwXS8DwnQzyYOb0vndi1VPhqxKSU_99gPIGprJRLpICNKgFUt5-4mojKmI88D0IqHhisX2myfSk04bbRQtK8zGOHLp7TdYZ3hIRqvXfZDasEWwkkWWw_achFu6qAUt7A/s1600/ANTM7.12+Dubai+map.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="371" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkB5xv5idwXS8DwnQzyYOb0vndi1VPhqxKSU_99gPIGprJRLpICNKgFUt5-4mojKmI88D0IqHhisX2myfSk04bbRQtK8zGOHLp7TdYZ3hIRqvXfZDasEWwkkWWw_achFu6qAUt7A/s400/ANTM7.12+Dubai+map.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Perfect. Ta.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Everyone is surprised and delighted. Let’s get all the surprised and delighted faces out of the way right from the get-go, ‘kay?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqIRccRMMjN1jLdZi5_d4nh9KoI6DEVpIUIFrJCMZG2UiEn0WqvjDUDkujih3f3G3F8o7m0Ib8_TrJvdPUwRhIIA-RIfxhkGHs8fpfHr46bZg4UnOVr5K0Cj-29aefA-zSGOLUAw/s1600/ANTM7.12+Simone+shock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="184" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqIRccRMMjN1jLdZi5_d4nh9KoI6DEVpIUIFrJCMZG2UiEn0WqvjDUDkujih3f3G3F8o7m0Ib8_TrJvdPUwRhIIA-RIfxhkGHs8fpfHr46bZg4UnOVr5K0Cj-29aefA-zSGOLUAw/s320/ANTM7.12+Simone+shock.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIQaY3RL7dbGbisyAdS7zyj4Gw60Dv4gGB2HqDNXPzT_ca1dPNgD9MbsRIA2taYUF5YA4vC_rkHRmO3n2yYQ7-RHr3JXkYq2GBRgsG8qhiM5K0VLt4Uj_jel3nHQ1zCnRHRP-QlQ/s1600/ANTM7.12+Three+shock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIQaY3RL7dbGbisyAdS7zyj4Gw60Dv4gGB2HqDNXPzT_ca1dPNgD9MbsRIA2taYUF5YA4vC_rkHRmO3n2yYQ7-RHr3JXkYq2GBRgsG8qhiM5K0VLt4Uj_jel3nHQ1zCnRHRP-QlQ/s320/ANTM7.12+Three+shock.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Mjej1uLUY_7U3QArxKFt2YcoCkF3msc_hSADRq5t-ISPeQwH4I2LCx-XuPoI6jjxde0YWJDc8qAMTJ8AZGQRRLmuFE5rwucNVYStUng1FNgdizTXKhrQtJoLdV4FXY1FdKYrEg/s1600/ANTM7.12+Montana+surprise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Mjej1uLUY_7U3QArxKFt2YcoCkF3msc_hSADRq5t-ISPeQwH4I2LCx-XuPoI6jjxde0YWJDc8qAMTJ8AZGQRRLmuFE5rwucNVYStUng1FNgdizTXKhrQtJoLdV4FXY1FdKYrEg/s320/ANTM7.12+Montana+surprise.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBqQi_gQx4CEYrkNnNgVSI0yxzagCxYusmnVvz9fIOCfoBpIsCwDg3lVYyZdkNeIsSv5X5BWr5E538z7qPXBXvellD-SUq24TAG-uFzDdm0SABuEmgkjJUSIz93HHEubw4M5BS8g/s1600/ANTM7.12+Liz+surprise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="184" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBqQi_gQx4CEYrkNnNgVSI0yxzagCxYusmnVvz9fIOCfoBpIsCwDg3lVYyZdkNeIsSv5X5BWr5E538z7qPXBXvellD-SUq24TAG-uFzDdm0SABuEmgkjJUSIz93HHEubw4M5BS8g/s320/ANTM7.12+Liz+surprise.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg_LQU9Donf5sqvZlHYr_lWYNARdO1tiNuj0TE8f6I3l-7917zxRiHXYkCV5VStnw2CsgeU1hxW6SRQn_Xg_SZBiBo5I9oxdBJBKQ1W5OmNG7hSIVTthqrx2yZIVx-3hgBEz2k0A/s1600/ANTM7.12+Montana+wow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg_LQU9Donf5sqvZlHYr_lWYNARdO1tiNuj0TE8f6I3l-7917zxRiHXYkCV5VStnw2CsgeU1hxW6SRQn_Xg_SZBiBo5I9oxdBJBKQ1W5OmNG7hSIVTthqrx2yZIVx-3hgBEz2k0A/s320/ANTM7.12+Montana+wow.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4G1V_MfPHNb7vCj3FV3YZA0fhVHXInWhIoap3UplEmYVnR6zzOmAzaByewIeJdh_opQ9AVV3Sm2jJqRpNvsu1xS29aEOxk9VBcp840p_uexVq6k2LShSC9hwmwLDX1ZqjR904Ew/s1600/ANTM7.12+Montana+OH.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4G1V_MfPHNb7vCj3FV3YZA0fhVHXInWhIoap3UplEmYVnR6zzOmAzaByewIeJdh_opQ9AVV3Sm2jJqRpNvsu1xS29aEOxk9VBcp840p_uexVq6k2LShSC9hwmwLDX1ZqjR904Ew/s320/ANTM7.12+Montana+OH.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLJhHVERhTKIJrGQGJP9vgJ2ij-7G2DH12A975IMeFG0YG-F3w8lsKTskBqKA5tclALRwMsPIqKoSGtYEfO2VR8ie9APIsN2XlEZCZCHEe7Ej8MgYbCEzjI4stOFJvor91FziLjw/s1600/ANTM7.12+Liz+dolphin+impersonation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLJhHVERhTKIJrGQGJP9vgJ2ij-7G2DH12A975IMeFG0YG-F3w8lsKTskBqKA5tclALRwMsPIqKoSGtYEfO2VR8ie9APIsN2XlEZCZCHEe7Ej8MgYbCEzjI4stOFJvor91FziLjw/s320/ANTM7.12+Liz+dolphin+impersonation.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfqLgz-fOoHwmEWhEhMVz-xDEqEOD8GLEbyqzwnonX34r42D7eR95w818Vn6A6bnqK7LFXI7MdFCSXSHNp4rNwIYN7DN_H1iUUJkZLLM-j-WjtZjymsBDr490s2OKubW7VJeGlJg/s1600/ANTM7.12+Monty+dolphin+impersonation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfqLgz-fOoHwmEWhEhMVz-xDEqEOD8GLEbyqzwnonX34r42D7eR95w818Vn6A6bnqK7LFXI7MdFCSXSHNp4rNwIYN7DN_H1iUUJkZLLM-j-WjtZjymsBDr490s2OKubW7VJeGlJg/s320/ANTM7.12+Monty+dolphin+impersonation.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitSum6kpjjd8R3ZhyphenhyphenLhQtbB3YyutV_OMOiEAZWU56GpAZUsTsFtlPEdquAqFTmSQ4FVl7Hrv2AbImxRIrLFAEuretT9y3av3552qUE9Pc7Cxpt4dzrT-aPGXAN8nKQt8ZRyfnOTA/s1600/ANTM7.12+Charlotte+surprised.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitSum6kpjjd8R3ZhyphenhyphenLhQtbB3YyutV_OMOiEAZWU56GpAZUsTsFtlPEdquAqFTmSQ4FVl7Hrv2AbImxRIrLFAEuretT9y3av3552qUE9Pc7Cxpt4dzrT-aPGXAN8nKQt8ZRyfnOTA/s320/ANTM7.12+Charlotte+surprised.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Surprised. Delighted. And available on an inflatable life partner in an up-a-narrow-staircase shop near you.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Suddenly the modules are styled to within an inch of their short lives, the cameramen change their lens filters to ‘poignant and whimsical’, someone drops a jewellery bomb on the Middle East, and everyone’s off to the airport. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Montana reminds us of the gravity of this last trip, saying that “It’s gonna sort the mice from the men”.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn3N4aZHb5EbEdzlrQ5r6u0Nxhl8wd5g_B2qPWT59pd-sKnH3Aq83IiRayrZdDNTIr-ZTP8tmTvQ49-A59pDAKRi17S16sCyVRjxTK4Ix8zMEIOLgPnWVGKuCf7vvoUEOxwzyIUQ/s1600/ANTM7.12+Mice+road+sign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn3N4aZHb5EbEdzlrQ5r6u0Nxhl8wd5g_B2qPWT59pd-sKnH3Aq83IiRayrZdDNTIr-ZTP8tmTvQ49-A59pDAKRi17S16sCyVRjxTK4Ix8zMEIOLgPnWVGKuCf7vvoUEOxwzyIUQ/s400/ANTM7.12+Mice+road+sign.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">OH MY GOD YOU'RE IN THE WRONG LANE.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The scrags go to the Business Class lounge and oh my god it’s the best thing they’ve ever seen in their lives. They get on the plane and oh my god it has legroom. They go to the bar on the plane and find that oh my god there are trays of cupca – THIS ISN’T A FLIGHT, THIS IS A WONDROUS BROTHEL OF SENSATION.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sorry. Sorry.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Suddenly!<span> </span>A Dubai montage! If you missed it, don’t worry. There are eight hundred and twenty-three more.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Coming out of the air-conditioned airport into the heat of Dubai, Doik Simone remarks that it’s like “Running into like, a brick wall made of fire”, showing us two things:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1. That Doik doesn’t like the heat. If you missed that, don’t worry. She will mention it eight hundred and twenty-three more times.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2. That Doik should totally be writing lyrics for Cock Rock bands in the 80s.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdw9JvUdTur8PyRj-ZU6l_neYK-GfMyYfYhJo2QPoFhnMIb4zg2dEMPwZtBmrTdMsUcqIrU0rIIZYPAPhpvNYph0ACp5SFPV8BLJ0N4FamxE9ugVNiKxPSZddg94AY9CJmy6chDQ/s1600/ANTM7.12+Wall+of+fire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="202" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdw9JvUdTur8PyRj-ZU6l_neYK-GfMyYfYhJo2QPoFhnMIb4zg2dEMPwZtBmrTdMsUcqIrU0rIIZYPAPhpvNYph0ACp5SFPV8BLJ0N4FamxE9ugVNiKxPSZddg94AY9CJmy6chDQ/s400/ANTM7.12+Wall+of+fire.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A brick wall made of faaaaayaaaaaaah. SAXOPHONE SOLO.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The modules pack themselves into a terribly cramped stretch limo and point excitedly at things out the window as they zoom past. Montana comments that there are “so many freakin’ buildings”, basically nailing the definition of ‘city’ in one hit, and Simone shows some early town-planning skills by saying “I feel like we’re in the middle of the desert, and they decided to like, build things around”. Oh my god, Doik. That’s <i>exactly</i> what the Wikipedia page says!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVMf9v9thg-M4IhGN8RGjC1bKmMBhyphenhyphenah4KQZ3pjW6aWTeF_3Zxq-WkpHfgcApTFWl9C2MrMI6A23wp70JpLpQnAuu1pAiIqI9XDxmSsI6-1aEhL9x2Vqfy-l_gMJOpyXMju52wEA/s1600/ANTM7.12+Dubai+wikipedia.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVMf9v9thg-M4IhGN8RGjC1bKmMBhyphenhyphenah4KQZ3pjW6aWTeF_3Zxq-WkpHfgcApTFWl9C2MrMI6A23wp70JpLpQnAuu1pAiIqI9XDxmSsI6-1aEhL9x2Vqfy-l_gMJOpyXMju52wEA/s640/ANTM7.12+Dubai+wikipedia.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The limo spits the scrags out at Atlantis The Palm hotel, which really impresses Montana. It’s the biggest thing she’s ever seen “and you can see it from like, five hundred metres away”. So, like FROM THE END OF THE <i>STREET</i>?! SHUT UP, NO WAY.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For the next five minutes, someone just shakes up opulence, shiny surfaces, rosewater, soft furnishings and the phrase “oh my god” in a bag, Liz gets excited because the hotel’s been on <i>Getaway (</i>somewhere behind Catriona Rowntree’s boobs), Montana gets excited because the hotel should be on <i>Cribs</i>, and Doik gets excited because the bath can fit a person in it. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Meanwhile, in the foyer aquarium, a scuba diver has a strange, cryptic message for the girls. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS-74UUdchdkWYp0hgExNML2IYMKWj1b3ITyhbpNqgbw1T5COx_vWk5ZGu9YoRA-HhLRcgLdSA6RzpgZYtjoFmPoKIBLC4zB-0j8Tf62ZpoB87IWalZzyWQjmH2zjdY3oNuKfwnQ/s1600/ANTM7.12+Camels+have+nipples.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS-74UUdchdkWYp0hgExNML2IYMKWj1b3ITyhbpNqgbw1T5COx_vWk5ZGu9YoRA-HhLRcgLdSA6RzpgZYtjoFmPoKIBLC4zB-0j8Tf62ZpoB87IWalZzyWQjmH2zjdY3oNuKfwnQ/s400/ANTM7.12+Camels+have+nipples.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I can't help but think that this information will come in handy later.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Suddenly! A Dubai montage! I just can’t get enough of that shit.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A Sarah-Mail arrives via a what, a slave? What do they call them here? And the modules are back in the limo pointing and hooting out of the window again. “Oh my god look!” shouts Liz. “This is the history!”. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Simone responds with “I’m kind of glad that we haven’t been taken to history places, ‘cause I’m not a big historian”, which is a bit like Bridget Riley saying she’s never really been one for landscapes or, for the lowbrow amongst you, like Terri Irwin saying she might put her kids in the public eye a little bit.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is how Simone feels about history and culture.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDUz45e7uZ1DK99kwj19ZVotiYUK-_TKAYoDRXkGAiyBzArtjBZn5ub2qwiiAA0ceqkJgiJmHxH88NDWhra7DbXC3nU1Y9BAfGqrvntF3I0e8sdFvzEgKuQmYosZnKKkU1e9jh8Q/s1600/ANTM7.12+Give+A+Fuck+O+Meter.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDUz45e7uZ1DK99kwj19ZVotiYUK-_TKAYoDRXkGAiyBzArtjBZn5ub2qwiiAA0ceqkJgiJmHxH88NDWhra7DbXC3nU1Y9BAfGqrvntF3I0e8sdFvzEgKuQmYosZnKKkU1e9jh8Q/s320/ANTM7.12+Give+A+Fuck+O+Meter.gif" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well, until they’re surrounded by ogling men and a woman who probably doesn’t spell her name ‘Suad’ takes them shopping, anyway. Three significant things happen in this bit.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1. We learn that Doik wouldn’t mind having a husband who buys her gold jewellery. We keel over from shock and die.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2. We learn that women just wear black burqas because they’re slimming. It is, after all, every woman’s right to look slim.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3. We eat camel-milk chocolate.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">WAIT, WHAT? But... where does.... how does... I KNEW we should’ve paid more attention to that scuba diver. It’s okay, though, because Montana does some science all over us:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>“I’d heard of camel’s milk before, but we had no idea where camel’s milk would’ve come from. Like, when have you ever seen... do they just sort of inject it out, like what does this camel milk come from?”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">WOW. Stay in school, kids.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The next morning at breakfast, the scrags face their biggest test yet.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK2iYdTzS5xESnkoApKGulIvv24kWQJvXapBUs3WJ6tBtlZOWoM35nJ3D9eIU8Z5PD4lLzkfc2MxgXxQ-PYRz4yChfMhllV7S7XVxQXC_0C-UCk3adqbVUrp3s3_hKW1NK9sZQWA/s1600/ANTM7.12+Breakfast+carb+test.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK2iYdTzS5xESnkoApKGulIvv24kWQJvXapBUs3WJ6tBtlZOWoM35nJ3D9eIU8Z5PD4lLzkfc2MxgXxQ-PYRz4yChfMhllV7S7XVxQXC_0C-UCk3adqbVUrp3s3_hKW1NK9sZQWA/s400/ANTM7.12+Breakfast+carb+test.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They've never had to avoid this many carbs before.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A Sarah-Mail summons them to the ‘old quarter’, and it’s frigging hot. They’re met by photographer Georges Antoni, and he’s frigging hot. He takes them into the ‘Centre For Cultural Understanding’ because he’s into things like irony, and then tells the girls that they’ll be doing two photo-shoots, the first of which will be in winter clothes in 45-degree heat, first individually and then in a group shot, and I can see a little bit of sweat trickling down your neck and into your chest hair and I may need a moment to collect myself.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Cough.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The girls go into hair and make-up, get styled with quiffy beehives, scarves, orgasmic Bally outfits and shoes I want to have stapled to my feet and OH GOD HE’S LYING DOWN. HE’S LYING DOWN. BRING MORE TISSUES.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHvJ2dbhfos2yN2G7Ar2Vrdo6Tp5s7zwwiupmbAeR61euJqe63ZFpDOrfEFchRaKFqMYPDs_Cd-hmoYZNSgYalM0jPVOhofuc7tSglPAqQuDwEm-DpnNonCGJ-wG-7wxuZan72vg/s1600/ANTM7.12+Georges+Antoni+lying+down.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHvJ2dbhfos2yN2G7Ar2Vrdo6Tp5s7zwwiupmbAeR61euJqe63ZFpDOrfEFchRaKFqMYPDs_Cd-hmoYZNSgYalM0jPVOhofuc7tSglPAqQuDwEm-DpnNonCGJ-wG-7wxuZan72vg/s400/ANTM7.12+Georges+Antoni+lying+down.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thats... that's quite a lens you have there, Georges.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Montana’s brain swells from thinking too hard about camel milk...</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit8lteW2lN-2bnu6FJapXvryog8jkizaaZkfBRvm_BVhlDcsn3OpYntsLq8XSJEO-Jy1F47MuTiux3ItzKlyjgvEndLnOw2zRL2Jkrd4AqnZBR8g3SdORk9K6XRLODLmOxsXuaPw/s1600/ANTM7.12+Montana+beehive+quiff.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit8lteW2lN-2bnu6FJapXvryog8jkizaaZkfBRvm_BVhlDcsn3OpYntsLq8XSJEO-Jy1F47MuTiux3ItzKlyjgvEndLnOw2zRL2Jkrd4AqnZBR8g3SdORk9K6XRLODLmOxsXuaPw/s400/ANTM7.12+Montana+beehive+quiff.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Science hurts, you guys.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Simone tries to suck a few extra IQ points out of the air...</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiMyiVB0dOCGys5fyUUYxvfZtPJ7-EgjwFoKOKGb6CCUBAqxbJJRlZErNWL9FQ4mtgfMSsCElLjfwbIWo5Vp8rrCH8Z7aAh-VDrv-04FtDAO3kSBvhpPAiPtZPFh_S5StgS64lWw/s1600/ANTM7.12+Simone+cheekbones.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiMyiVB0dOCGys5fyUUYxvfZtPJ7-EgjwFoKOKGb6CCUBAqxbJJRlZErNWL9FQ4mtgfMSsCElLjfwbIWo5Vp8rrCH8Z7aAh-VDrv-04FtDAO3kSBvhpPAiPtZPFh_S5StgS64lWw/s400/ANTM7.12+Simone+cheekbones.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sure. That's what she's doing.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And Liz is a goddamn freakin’ giant.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvEH8PxPmAXq3E7I0d7gz08OQ-hqA_Yq3t3BbEe0Jq7Q1JNt3p9-DG-JEweY1nD8usicQJd2ZFyTtHnAjz2eqvqjBpeSXNAfLX7GaoY-f0DGVvYjGdrcjUiF38ZS0pon2juVr8AA/s1600/ANTM7.12+Liz+is+a+giant+from+giant+town.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvEH8PxPmAXq3E7I0d7gz08OQ-hqA_Yq3t3BbEe0Jq7Q1JNt3p9-DG-JEweY1nD8usicQJd2ZFyTtHnAjz2eqvqjBpeSXNAfLX7GaoY-f0DGVvYjGdrcjUiF38ZS0pon2juVr8AA/s400/ANTM7.12+Liz+is+a+giant+from+giant+town.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My new best friend could totally stomp on your house.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But seriously. These girls are completely fracking amazing. YEAH THAT’S RIGHT. SINCERITY, BITCHES. But looook:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg3vBidUd6hulaOqEDPMbwTqj2wZunmrNW_g3mDvlkafKhBvm6XFwuJBgHvLaV1qzQX04puwfUAnjgeaAyNnF_dQBCs_ZKycUxvEJdyuS0fXoWIZPpzpKAHsZYl4Gp2bWKHDTpAg/s1600/ANTM7.12+Montana+shoot+amazing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg3vBidUd6hulaOqEDPMbwTqj2wZunmrNW_g3mDvlkafKhBvm6XFwuJBgHvLaV1qzQX04puwfUAnjgeaAyNnF_dQBCs_ZKycUxvEJdyuS0fXoWIZPpzpKAHsZYl4Gp2bWKHDTpAg/s400/ANTM7.12+Montana+shoot+amazing.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They piddy ladies.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Suddenly! Doik nearly faints, Georges ‘In My Pants Right Now Don’t Make Me Tell You Twice’ Antoni carries her to safety, and we all have to listen to fucking Enriques Iglesias.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">HHNNNNNNGGGG</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh my god wait. Hold the freakin’ phone. I think I’ve just discovered where Doik Simone keeps her on/off switch, proving my theory that she’s a short-circuiting bitchy boob robot from the future. IT'S ON THE SIDE OF HER HEAD.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">BRAIN NOT FOUND ERROR</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s morning, and I’d like to welcome you to Episode 1 of <i>DOING SCIENCE WITH MONTY AND DOIK.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here’s how it goes down.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Doik: “People do milk camels, because how do you get camel milk, like, you might not see their teats...”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Monty: “I’ve never seen a teat on a camel before”.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Doik: “Yeah but people still milk them, how...”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Monty: “Oh, I’m sure they do, but but like, have you ever looked at a camel and saw like ...”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Doik: “I don’t look for camel teats, but I just know that you can milk them, because people drink camel milk and you can get camel chocolate”.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Monty: “Do camels eat? I thought they only like, drink”/<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Doik “No, you can feed camels at zoos, I’ve done it”.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’ve been watching this show for twelve weeks, so I no longer have the IQ to respond to this. Let’s just leave it to the pictures.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thankfully the phone rings and Saint Sarah sends the girls off to swim with dolphins, like she always does, but please. For the love of lactose. Nobody ask where dolphin milk comes from.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The scrags wave at, kiss and swim with the dolphins in a massive man-made pool. Now, I know that three girls swimming with mammals and talking about how they look like they’re smiling and they’re so cute and they feel like sea cucumbers <i>should</i> be interesting, but I’m momentarily distracted by thousands and thousands and thousands of grains of sand.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Speaking of which, we’re off to the desert for a dune-to</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">p shoot in wafty outfits, slicked back hair, killer heels and no eyebrows!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am begging for your pardon.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That’s right. Those bad boys are bleached right off their faces. And you know what happens when I see shots of people without any eyebrows? Yes, you do. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT7lOeFPiHSmAkG52HNAtxEZ7D1E6IQ9Tmi7KYKw7_j_UHE8lt8O3Md9PRVeBn4K21a-dID5MGtcSwAy6mvS3nmPhr37ME34HW7RbFos5aRHz0c1co5x-PksHrvcNogpq43E1Aew/s1600/ANTM7.12+Doike+eyebrows+blank.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT7lOeFPiHSmAkG52HNAtxEZ7D1E6IQ9Tmi7KYKw7_j_UHE8lt8O3Md9PRVeBn4K21a-dID5MGtcSwAy6mvS3nmPhr37ME34HW7RbFos5aRHz0c1co5x-PksHrvcNogpq43E1Aew/s400/ANTM7.12+Doike+eyebrows+blank.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidTQjFQ0JKM9rLxAYYtQi6qGO_kpKV_CdXlnW8Mzl3YbRqKPkyMlcMxYLnJ2UXy_scc1wADP6X6APdj7vpbAVysehz3x9eawGpXLUNLBaH42u8QKbxPkjsZIs5cLWWFrRUadEN9g/s1600/ANTM7.12+Doike+eyebrows+new.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidTQjFQ0JKM9rLxAYYtQi6qGO_kpKV_CdXlnW8Mzl3YbRqKPkyMlcMxYLnJ2UXy_scc1wADP6X6APdj7vpbAVysehz3x9eawGpXLUNLBaH42u8QKbxPkjsZIs5cLWWFrRUadEN9g/s400/ANTM7.12+Doike+eyebrows+new.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I make your life better, whilst wasting my own. It's okay. I know.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The photo shoot is amaaaaaaaaa *takes breath* aaaaaaaaaayzing, see?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdlA3BkYgzenoBML-2CE66xwuny2rx-0oLT7Fm3MqxKG0T92vSgxRJuwhXPnqWJz57KOwOhP3MBbQTUpXwZEh4Vwp_aR4pDGXVg2h3D2MpvJwav_0OK6tdpVMN247Si-pbN4osPA/s1600/ANTM7.12+Simone+shoot+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdlA3BkYgzenoBML-2CE66xwuny2rx-0oLT7Fm3MqxKG0T92vSgxRJuwhXPnqWJz57KOwOhP3MBbQTUpXwZEh4Vwp_aR4pDGXVg2h3D2MpvJwav_0OK6tdpVMN247Si-pbN4osPA/s400/ANTM7.12+Simone+shoot+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpkneFmyRq5c8TiRdzL5AyUj3qhDIIbIGv7J1yIWe7StNWG7qZM8yJpV5f9ld-wtmEaZHum_fBh2TCTMDz_qXi920rVGHUWAtQ8Dpr4P6b9H-hXnd-U39DAShiHZRCR7GDk_2oVA/s1600/ANTM7.12+Liz+shoot+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpkneFmyRq5c8TiRdzL5AyUj3qhDIIbIGv7J1yIWe7StNWG7qZM8yJpV5f9ld-wtmEaZHum_fBh2TCTMDz_qXi920rVGHUWAtQ8Dpr4P6b9H-hXnd-U39DAShiHZRCR7GDk_2oVA/s400/ANTM7.12+Liz+shoot+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhizfDDZJBIPuvTWBKb3kD9sEVTkqNjCzxJ1txFcz19DSocxvZMkCcK5pQlEfiPZ9wBQUoOzUYl2uTWIEge_UPOof4j_yP_hDYlRfQL1aBun-N6_134Fl_w-r3-UDDUpukeMrwoaA/s1600/ANTM7.12+Monty+shoot+2.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhizfDDZJBIPuvTWBKb3kD9sEVTkqNjCzxJ1txFcz19DSocxvZMkCcK5pQlEfiPZ9wBQUoOzUYl2uTWIEge_UPOof4j_yP_hDYlRfQL1aBun-N6_134Fl_w-r3-UDDUpukeMrwoaA/s400/ANTM7.12+Monty+shoot+2.1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Just like the grey wig/pink paint photo shoot of episode whatever-it-was, at first the styling looks like it’s going to be Fugly McFuglerson, and then BAM! Gorgeousness bomb fired from a chic cannon aimed at Hot Diggetty Dang County. And as a bonus, I’ve totally solved the mystery of the Loch Ness Monster.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl9M1wsOr9EPRIulfzg4dN7wj0OPFUuxHrzo8SlaGvVS35uXJ4mj7oCMuIKi5ovMpHD9JlrLG-33xQFhwXBsQQazwrQwAp_pmNN-evREmD8BVhBgPkekuMp-fJwBhV-BrcvlLXtg/s1600/ANTM7.12+Liz+arse+over+tit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl9M1wsOr9EPRIulfzg4dN7wj0OPFUuxHrzo8SlaGvVS35uXJ4mj7oCMuIKi5ovMpHD9JlrLG-33xQFhwXBsQQazwrQwAp_pmNN-evREmD8BVhBgPkekuMp-fJwBhV-BrcvlLXtg/s400/ANTM7.12+Liz+arse+over+tit.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's not a monster. It's Liz's leg as she falls arse over tit down a hill.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And speaking of tits, let’s do some more teat science!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hypothesis: Camels have nipples.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Method: </span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD1JJQb4G-xt6pEjRV7hAJmpjHGrFF7hZcLXddIjQUa1hdsw6kKSCI9HsKFXmeUlYd3nd8ll0OAjNJ7Q-fULRG9VLp68nfpRaNTuihwV2_CuFgizCv2WD6KGGosBLmW_1ymYlmYQ/s1600/ANTM7.12+Camel+nipples.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD1JJQb4G-xt6pEjRV7hAJmpjHGrFF7hZcLXddIjQUa1hdsw6kKSCI9HsKFXmeUlYd3nd8ll0OAjNJ7Q-fULRG9VLp68nfpRaNTuihwV2_CuFgizCv2WD6KGGosBLmW_1ymYlmYQ/s400/ANTM7.12+Camel+nipples.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tip a motherfucking camel over.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Results: Totes nipples.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Conclusion: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN WE STOP NOW.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Doik Simone is concerned that her camel is ignoring her and ‘ostracising itself’.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Oh, honey. I just... sweet galloping horses of... your mother must be so... </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For fuck’s sake, pet.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">ANYWAY. The scrags go to dinner in the middle of the desert to drink Coke, try to subtract three from ninety-nine and talk about feelings when the phone rings. It’s Saint Sarah, and it’s almost time to go home. It’s also almost time to wonder what kind of bullshit magical phone service provider these kids are on. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Suddenly! Sydney montage!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We’re back in the big smoke, at the Opry House, and WHERE’S BRIGITTE NIELSEN?!? I haven’t seen her all episode? <span> </span>Maybe she’s busy baring her teeth, sticking her neck out and holding one boob? Naaaaah.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZRnBW0c7w12n8EWJqc6sHzRPfOdtYz5GuPMTyH17iT4B-V6JGhnsrcQJoYVoE1KGmDoWZNngoYBA98K7gV7BLxK6GKEFv9_pkjelSKfD12NLjKWR-Jy2sTdRznx1OXpJ44d0itg/s1600/ANTM7.12+Brigitte+Nielsen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZRnBW0c7w12n8EWJqc6sHzRPfOdtYz5GuPMTyH17iT4B-V6JGhnsrcQJoYVoE1KGmDoWZNngoYBA98K7gV7BLxK6GKEFv9_pkjelSKfD12NLjKWR-Jy2sTdRznx1OXpJ44d0itg/s400/ANTM7.12+Brigitte+Nielsen.jpg" width="285" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For some reason Saint Sarah (a bit late, having rushed from the AGM of the Camel Ostracisation Front), Charlotte Dawson (dressed today as nothing in particular, which isn’t funny at all), Shiny Alex Perry (dressed today as a luminous cowboy squinting his way through a sunglasses muster) and Georges Antoni (fresh from MY PANTS) are all gathered to talk about photos and tell us that they think Montana should win.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What do you think, Magic Psychic Desk?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hel... hello? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh, <i>great</i>. No Brigitte, no Magic Psychic Desk. FINE. I’ll have to pick my own winner. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I vote for sewing my best friend Liz and Montana together, making a hybrid module called Lizmonta. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-zuVZEGnFWvkX0rSmoulnKc0I6egHuhOx9qpXGzDjQONrzJGtWwLzx6Hr7nw2pVjOz9wxFP5xZW02NG-rGq0NlGXoaOXM7FOcYIK-eZfzENchiBL2YPrTZ0zBg8zlIt8HCSjqNA/s1600/ANTM7.12+Two+headed+monster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-zuVZEGnFWvkX0rSmoulnKc0I6egHuhOx9qpXGzDjQONrzJGtWwLzx6Hr7nw2pVjOz9wxFP5xZW02NG-rGq0NlGXoaOXM7FOcYIK-eZfzENchiBL2YPrTZ0zBg8zlIt8HCSjqNA/s400/ANTM7.12+Two+headed+monster.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">WINNER.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of course, the real winner is the phrase ‘pigeon eyes’.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">OMG FINALE OMG FINALE OMG FINALE TOMORROW NIGHT.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’ll be there in person because people at Foxtel are aces and I’m a whining needy bitch and what am I going to wear and is this finally going to be the year I get a drink thrown in my face.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As a result of me planning on drinking away my pain/joy/facial tic, as per previous years please DO NOT expect too much in the way of a finale recap.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It will be late (like, after lunch on Wednesday late), it will be lame (like, legs-bitten-off-by-bears lame), it will be lacking in detail in the extreme (like, Simone’s brain lacking in detail) and it will be unsatisfactory. Live with it. MAMA NEEDS HER REST.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">******</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It will, however, have the final verse in the longest ever country song about modelling competitions in it, though. That is my promise to you. Second last verse goes like:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">While theeeee</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Budget lasts get to the airport fast tell the pilot he can park it</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the Middle East at the very least, ‘cause there’s souks (yeah, that means ‘markets’).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In a nosebleed shoe, with a beehive ‘do, you’ll be hot but dang, you’re highbrow;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But it matters not, because for your next shot, we’re gonna bleach off both your eyebrows.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">People of your ilk know they like their milk in their chocolates, drinks and tipples;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But you’re still surprised when a camel, capsized, lets you know that it’s got nipples;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now excitement’s high, ‘cause the last night’s nigh, and it’s going to be so gnarly;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There’s no time to rest, wear your frocking best to the Opera House finale.</span></div>Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-62844335150080717612011-10-17T20:36:00.000+11:002011-10-17T20:36:14.323+11:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven #11<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">See, the producers, host and judges of this week’s episode seem to want to make us think that it’s all about being ‘epic’. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Instead, I think it’s all about being <i>prepared</i>. Like being aware that the paparazzi may be following you. Like packing correctly for an overnight stay on a chilly island. Like familiarising yourself with the streets of Sydney. Like shaving your goddamn armpits. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Welcome, his and hirsute, to the ‘If I Knew You Were Coming I’d Have Shaved A Scrag’ episode of <i>Australia’s Next Top Model’. </i>Lather up.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">******</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s the final four! Who’s excited about being in the final four?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGmiJHJ91nKsmKVTBKoNRMngBi5trXAKooLoNHjhWYJEMrutmYg-udsnhsQypU3Gyg2xL1MrCFO6o1jZAKrVqknU0Z4s3cAWvRhoAbrpntS-E1Vz29J3gHSwI5zuWVFGw3mPVTtw/s1600/ANTM7.11+Liz+surprised+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGmiJHJ91nKsmKVTBKoNRMngBi5trXAKooLoNHjhWYJEMrutmYg-udsnhsQypU3Gyg2xL1MrCFO6o1jZAKrVqknU0Z4s3cAWvRhoAbrpntS-E1Vz29J3gHSwI5zuWVFGw3mPVTtw/s400/ANTM7.11+Liz+surprised+face.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Liz is.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Learnment</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A Sarah-Mail beeps into life and then says something about poison ivy, prickles, and celebrities, seemingly because the only thing producers could afford after Paris was hallucinogenic drugs. The girls try to guess who the celebrity might be, imagining that it’s an international mega-star. Except for Liz, who just hopes it’s her idol, Megan Gale. Because we just <i>cannot</i> see her face enough in the media.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One solitary Fashion Fiesta drives the modules into the middle of the city, and they arrive at the Ivy. They <i>arrivey</i>. I know. It’s all high-level wordplay and advanced linguistics here at Jo Blogs. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Charlotte Dawson gives everyone a hug, tells them she’s proud of them, and then warns them that the hand-holding is about to stop, leading them over to a computer that has the ANTM facebook page open on it. I don’t know how many of you frequent the ANTM facebook page, but generally speaking:</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0x6802JzG7ImMjVgQeibEyhBcJOKuOSrhx8u19skOF8bjUnYE47kqV6bpHBVzd973bCLaqKiJAFUuinzRstDndr9NuqSL6bKyXS9X0mXZX8jCUe0p9qEcpYoOLEW5Czbu0DwrNA/s1600/ANTM7.11+Way+Harsh+Ty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0x6802JzG7ImMjVgQeibEyhBcJOKuOSrhx8u19skOF8bjUnYE47kqV6bpHBVzd973bCLaqKiJAFUuinzRstDndr9NuqSL6bKyXS9X0mXZX8jCUe0p9qEcpYoOLEW5Czbu0DwrNA/s400/ANTM7.11+Way+Harsh+Ty.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Way harsh, Ty.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Doik Simone says that she’s “interested to see what people are gonna say”, which is as surprising as finding nostrils in your nose, and we’re shown a couple of screen shots from the page.</span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Example one:</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj31Rvc4QYMvEmOLUxKNwYVatRwK-Cf4O158Qy7p0Xch33FHcWkEFoqxbklfqnDDN0yxKyeRIPDqJqY26IW3LhyphenhyphendppZiAZyPi03AsqoO_E7erE-LPHPSFjxHtlakXIsN52qFeET0w/s1600/ANTM7.11+Kim+Berley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj31Rvc4QYMvEmOLUxKNwYVatRwK-Cf4O158Qy7p0Xch33FHcWkEFoqxbklfqnDDN0yxKyeRIPDqJqY26IW3LhyphenhyphendppZiAZyPi03AsqoO_E7erE-LPHPSFjxHtlakXIsN52qFeET0w/s400/ANTM7.11+Kim+Berley.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Soooo, just to break this down, it appears that not only is the fact that Liz is a sweetheart amusing, it is in fact so amusing that the writer laughs out loud both before and after making the statement, signified by the acronym ‘lol’. I believe the underlying message here is: STAY IN SCHOOL, KIDS.</span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The second completely random example shits all over the first one:</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfw3iKxec-Cu0IoRwqFqmiZLT8bqdhbLK7YqRS-7i2McAyxJyRdje5dIvxa4O4IZe8zzhXqk4J-d5LT4-s0ggOFXXtV8vHRw2vYeMNlj0hdxAIcNodw_FXhh7gMy0vcUeD2xOJJQ/s1600/ANTM7.11+Jo+blogs+so+funny.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfw3iKxec-Cu0IoRwqFqmiZLT8bqdhbLK7YqRS-7i2McAyxJyRdje5dIvxa4O4IZe8zzhXqk4J-d5LT4-s0ggOFXXtV8vHRw2vYeMNlj0hdxAIcNodw_FXhh7gMy0vcUeD2xOJJQ/s400/ANTM7.11+Jo+blogs+so+funny.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s a bit blurry, so I’ll help you out. It’s a picture of this blog with the words ‘so funny’ written above it. Succinct. Concise. YOU MAY LOL WHEN READY.</span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawson tells the scrags that they are now celebrities, to which Rachel responds “I can’t really see myself as a celebrity. It’s a bit weird. But I would use fame to be a role model for decency’.Pffft. Join the queue, lady.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkYBH11ea2YQCZrdAspHD_djLpl3B92XXdSZq4rNxFssEImBt6dYaSiv5K9mPL32LeX8AvwJ7t1gTq4K_vi6ZK8iH3spxgbauTKhQ0yrXd4q5-9Lj4UAxjf3J0Jjj4x-5meTl6nQ/s1600/ANTM7.11+Role+Model+For+Decency1+Britney.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkYBH11ea2YQCZrdAspHD_djLpl3B92XXdSZq4rNxFssEImBt6dYaSiv5K9mPL32LeX8AvwJ7t1gTq4K_vi6ZK8iH3spxgbauTKhQ0yrXd4q5-9Lj4UAxjf3J0Jjj4x-5meTl6nQ/s400/ANTM7.11+Role+Model+For+Decency1+Britney.jpg" width="300" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOykPRosHjAMPdeyMtbVQs2mgMnj8UiYqAMlldJvZC1Gp0alasNVGxWWjK8lHAZYgX8Jf8Hin_q5UZEp3SYK0DCXWyyI9hOzfoaRGq6zjgEqCQu9oDgwloK0fEeBud0ynGrpcGFg/s1600/ANTM7.11+Role+Model+For+Decency2+Charlie+Sheen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOykPRosHjAMPdeyMtbVQs2mgMnj8UiYqAMlldJvZC1Gp0alasNVGxWWjK8lHAZYgX8Jf8Hin_q5UZEp3SYK0DCXWyyI9hOzfoaRGq6zjgEqCQu9oDgwloK0fEeBud0ynGrpcGFg/s400/ANTM7.11+Role+Model+For+Decency2+Charlie+Sheen.jpg" width="253" /></a></div><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1H6LEQ_PV4192eyNNTcahLYO6dUphgqsUL08_Co5NBZEkR-efDQt6gLspamSB0uddz-7IwBjotR345ktZSK-gjBfWSColoKgOQPiPn02hAzWoHRROqvK5P5g8HZs_cfpD6ZITzw/s1600/ANTM7.11+Role+Model+For+Decency3+Nikki+Webster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1H6LEQ_PV4192eyNNTcahLYO6dUphgqsUL08_Co5NBZEkR-efDQt6gLspamSB0uddz-7IwBjotR345ktZSK-gjBfWSColoKgOQPiPn02hAzWoHRROqvK5P5g8HZs_cfpD6ZITzw/s400/ANTM7.11+Role+Model+For+Decency3+Nikki+Webster.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's okay, Rachel. Britney, Charlie and Nikki here have got that covered.</td></tr>
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</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lara Bingle arrives and gives the modules the advice that “You just have to be aware, yeah”, because she’s busy with her PhD right now, and rhyming advice is about all she has time for. Sure, it’s not quite as effective as “Your arse shouldn’t be bare, yeah”, or “Don’t shave off all your hair, yeah”, but it’ll do.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then Charlotte gravely announces that ‘Im about to introduce somebody that for years and years has terrified both myself and Lara”.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF1jTuI2jm_2_KBDxP60SqXScW6kntR5gJ4Mn4-eW47CXcJc6s2OpbYiM2oyxbRjcuGbozphkQscOPviAcHMPU2oNisGFSzLlGZOLbi5ez-Un3qeeFTocdM8QUIExO4B85e9Sp4A/s1600/ANTM7.11+Terrifying+Sham+Wow+guy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF1jTuI2jm_2_KBDxP60SqXScW6kntR5gJ4Mn4-eW47CXcJc6s2OpbYiM2oyxbRjcuGbozphkQscOPviAcHMPU2oNisGFSzLlGZOLbi5ez-Un3qeeFTocdM8QUIExO4B85e9Sp4A/s400/ANTM7.11+Terrifying+Sham+Wow+guy.jpg" width="388" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">OMG ME TOO</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh. It’s just gossip columnist Ros Reines. She gives some pretty good advice, though, including letting the girls know that “Whatever you say on social media is going to be like a tattoo on you”.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVXCO1PXbbYL6sqFlOcPWJ5Bk0uF3rWY6N3OzeDzDjPvKZBkzqTVmfB5lvHVmjEraTgzf30bAuOUY0wBNbBnAQa42wpQ9OAusoBeC89KwX9VOJl0Vs0tbmxfO8Gu9FTtXMLmNNww/s1600/ANTM7.11+Tweet+tattoo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVXCO1PXbbYL6sqFlOcPWJ5Bk0uF3rWY6N3OzeDzDjPvKZBkzqTVmfB5lvHVmjEraTgzf30bAuOUY0wBNbBnAQa42wpQ9OAusoBeC89KwX9VOJl0Vs0tbmxfO8Gu9FTtXMLmNNww/s400/ANTM7.11+Tweet+tattoo.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In the eyes of the public, your cat will wear pants forever.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When quizzed upon what the worst thing would be that the girls could do to make a gossip columnist go to town on them, Ros quickly answers “A sex tape”.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikLYZsxj0tjASfG9aRjDqnxCnN6SzT_aq_hJVLuRsa6rZCtbOD8yEKP4T7jB_n-k8FkbD-mKKwfmlz3QcEuMnSXnSox62DOgdAg2olOnc-qOhQ7V7M99z0gxkhMXow3rFAyDeVXw/s1600/antm7.11+Simone+Shit..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikLYZsxj0tjASfG9aRjDqnxCnN6SzT_aq_hJVLuRsa6rZCtbOD8yEKP4T7jB_n-k8FkbD-mKKwfmlz3QcEuMnSXnSox62DOgdAg2olOnc-qOhQ7V7M99z0gxkhMXow3rFAyDeVXw/s400/antm7.11+Simone+Shit..jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rachel responds that she would never make a sex tape, which is as surprising as finding bread in some bread with some bread around it.</span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bingle pipes up incredibly relevantly with “Don’t get engaged too soon!”, to which Doik muses “I’ve got to meet a cricketer first”. I don’t really know what that means, but she’d better get her jargon down.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjltQf9x3TF_6eDK46nb_3RtwL13cGsr4PyzYJ3SdGUL6RJji1at286Stc-SqW5TmFbem8o4JEr6_Nr7Rcdx-CVIzAxTwE5wgqKRdyBPIblFRGxs2Gqfhedj7got1diGzAWERVSXg/s1600/antm7.11+sIMONE+Cricket+jargon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjltQf9x3TF_6eDK46nb_3RtwL13cGsr4PyzYJ3SdGUL6RJji1at286Stc-SqW5TmFbem8o4JEr6_Nr7Rcdx-CVIzAxTwE5wgqKRdyBPIblFRGxs2Gqfhedj7got1diGzAWERVSXg/s400/antm7.11+sIMONE+Cricket+jargon.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Phoy-toy Shoot</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Suddenly the lesson is over and the modules are playing bocce on the beach. It’s bitchy beachy bocce! See: mad wordplay skillz. A message in a bottle arrives on the shore because lame and cheap is why. “I was really excited, actually – I thought it was real”, enthuses Rachel. “I want to use my fame to be a role model for stupid”, she adds.</span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The message in the bottle indicates an ‘epic adventure’. The message in the bottle is a lying, deceitful little whore. The mention of an island gets the girls imagining Barbados, Costa Rica or ‘the Caribbeans’, but I’ll give you a hint. YOU CAN SEE IT FROM YOUR HOUSE.</span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The scrags pile into a helicopter. Are helicopters exciting, Montana?</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4B3YV6rLgH-WsaI-nP_XxPPEhIrA9IdtnANAaTeyi33fKKpppy2P3X8jJ1ezYyKDx49U7IHvGl0l3Rn3aJ49uOdxW5ap_KJQh6-1yGcdlQrYfxjZKM7xKn6yukykiGCp4JLooOg/s1600/ANTM7.11+Montana+excited.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4B3YV6rLgH-WsaI-nP_XxPPEhIrA9IdtnANAaTeyi33fKKpppy2P3X8jJ1ezYyKDx49U7IHvGl0l3Rn3aJ49uOdxW5ap_KJQh6-1yGcdlQrYfxjZKM7xKn6yukykiGCp4JLooOg/s400/ANTM7.11+Montana+excited.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fucking oath they are.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Doik says knowledgeably “Helicopters fly over water, so we’re gonna be going somewhere good”. Because a <em>plane</em> would never fly over water, Doik. And because no good places could <em>possibly</em> be over land, Doik. And helicopters <em>never</em> land anywhere bad like war zones or hospitals, Doik. Or...</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiegcKCCGvurrFwxIwfjgXAY7XVVbq5havvtG13sK7JAc1i5CRNY-Y0GZFTcNKsvPbyGr_0ZVJhn4ivg_ZQ9i-dqAkjzq6whqU-1L7JXZPlyFhFDY3SDKChoquLxyXCjDZXPztUng/s1600/ANTM7.11+Simone+Shut+up+jo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiegcKCCGvurrFwxIwfjgXAY7XVVbq5havvtG13sK7JAc1i5CRNY-Y0GZFTcNKsvPbyGr_0ZVJhn4ivg_ZQ9i-dqAkjzq6whqU-1L7JXZPlyFhFDY3SDKChoquLxyXCjDZXPztUng/s400/ANTM7.11+Simone+Shut+up+jo.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sorry, Doik.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yeah. It’s Cockatoo Island. Josh Brigitte Flinn Neilsen greets the girls in leather, which really brings out his eyes.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcJSxxbUGg0doFTYqVWB0VoFgKdwuGHdBnpaoW45SvLrn3jZgEh1dvn7s3LnqEc-Ztn6UezSQ8Qk9PPz0KCuEmvHDwY9pee8EL48Il9xRoSBse21d1QHJBzJMZUtcTEhSCtBHzjw/s1600/ANTM7.11+Brigitte+Nielsen+leather.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcJSxxbUGg0doFTYqVWB0VoFgKdwuGHdBnpaoW45SvLrn3jZgEh1dvn7s3LnqEc-Ztn6UezSQ8Qk9PPz0KCuEmvHDwY9pee8EL48Il9xRoSBse21d1QHJBzJMZUtcTEhSCtBHzjw/s400/ANTM7.11+Brigitte+Nielsen+leather.jpeg" width="287" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Welcome to Cockaboob Island.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Josh introduces photographer Hugh Stewart and then talks the scrags through some of the features of the island, including historical sites, landscapes, and breathtaking views.</span><br />
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</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXxir3vaKQo5IcUS5AEvyqJecMGXncvYTV7S3MIR8mUay0wcU2p5SuAbJitQNY9hlLuOuwEpou4zFnpzJJe4sTLxUCyGwM6NFx5_EG_8Z7dvY9G90p4ORhbSEuibYqgGan4Pga1Q/s1600/ANTM7.11+Stunning+Cockatoo+Island1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXxir3vaKQo5IcUS5AEvyqJecMGXncvYTV7S3MIR8mUay0wcU2p5SuAbJitQNY9hlLuOuwEpou4zFnpzJJe4sTLxUCyGwM6NFx5_EG_8Z7dvY9G90p4ORhbSEuibYqgGan4Pga1Q/s400/ANTM7.11+Stunning+Cockatoo+Island1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Like the majestic Visitor Information Centre...</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXYdofELS7e6_KchD5r07aNzYQdQWBsuins-L7EuDCcT__zZt0__u6DXpwJRHlvRIKpYuFoiNegJrBxIGAEMoPZnog_v0lZCvnlLTJQ5mWnZrH3Dg6XxMchI-lOlQY7ffhunwdbQ/s1600/ANTM7.11+Stunning+Cockatoo+Island2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXYdofELS7e6_KchD5r07aNzYQdQWBsuins-L7EuDCcT__zZt0__u6DXpwJRHlvRIKpYuFoiNegJrBxIGAEMoPZnog_v0lZCvnlLTJQ5mWnZrH3Dg6XxMchI-lOlQY7ffhunwdbQ/s400/ANTM7.11+Stunning+Cockatoo+Island2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">...and this crane.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb53YiAYqk5CkSa6ACNapaQxY94hvLYOsyKhXSxJ19wuFa3j3ewSGLJiSNIwpfzjhrqG_jS737lrq8AmCTQKsp50Mo-p1Mg3KqVPF2hU9b_fS1p7ddIMR_VtpjHXKVvFOuPsiJmw/s1600/ANTM7.11+Josh+Glamping.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb53YiAYqk5CkSa6ACNapaQxY94hvLYOsyKhXSxJ19wuFa3j3ewSGLJiSNIwpfzjhrqG_jS737lrq8AmCTQKsp50Mo-p1Mg3KqVPF2hU9b_fS1p7ddIMR_VtpjHXKVvFOuPsiJmw/s400/ANTM7.11+Josh+Glamping.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Breathtaking"</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The photo shoot today will be cinematic and dramatic, unlike Hugh Stewart's hair, which looks a little like what I clean out of my shower drain every fortnight. The girls will be strapped into a crane and suspended out over the wat –</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Why do they call it Cockatoo Island?” muses Doik suddenly. “Because I didn’t see a cockatoo anywhere”.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Wpjc7hEsBiOMJT42mKuwFn7qCuO9K-vzo0naLLlD_m94yAxrLo9PnWGL7DqZ2ebsMeG6sV78sYQ6WQZT52R5VhbcTp_29bPuUKiGH-WUQKByMsIfpisFA2Pppztxc1KjQt9NiA/s1600/ANTM7.11+Simone+Cock+Or+Two+Island.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Wpjc7hEsBiOMJT42mKuwFn7qCuO9K-vzo0naLLlD_m94yAxrLo9PnWGL7DqZ2ebsMeG6sV78sYQ6WQZT52R5VhbcTp_29bPuUKiGH-WUQKByMsIfpisFA2Pppztxc1KjQt9NiA/s400/ANTM7.11+Simone+Cock+Or+Two+Island.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sigh. Oh, Doik.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyway, we soon find out where all the cockatoos and other birds went – they’ve all been slaughtered and plucked in the name of fashion. YAAAAAAY!</span><br />
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</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3JPv74hKqS4HXNXREEiRHnB6E45Nxhh-OvrnMBffFQVFTBmXH47BS_38RPPFv2XqHtfv5WQBJKbtRslK3taQU41XVnWtnWBHcT-D7FzbNxkQnUbbCSxviE31VpSJuL6r1pC6qOg/s1600/ANTM7.11+Monty+found+the+cockatoo2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3JPv74hKqS4HXNXREEiRHnB6E45Nxhh-OvrnMBffFQVFTBmXH47BS_38RPPFv2XqHtfv5WQBJKbtRslK3taQU41XVnWtnWBHcT-D7FzbNxkQnUbbCSxviE31VpSJuL6r1pC6qOg/s400/ANTM7.11+Monty+found+the+cockatoo2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">White cockatoo.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVVKCJlh9JAocbvD-y45C-E3WbkW8svIiLMPIA6YhZFE0uSq4RncmS2UORFtDfN4f_jkL6ryyL5NmGtPsxQ2AIdfo_Y45DtQbpqe9hEvW0CSmYSdyFL0I0A-VO4y8b4hd8-YoYZA/s1600/ANTM7.11+Rachel+Black+cockatoo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVVKCJlh9JAocbvD-y45C-E3WbkW8svIiLMPIA6YhZFE0uSq4RncmS2UORFtDfN4f_jkL6ryyL5NmGtPsxQ2AIdfo_Y45DtQbpqe9hEvW0CSmYSdyFL0I0A-VO4y8b4hd8-YoYZA/s400/ANTM7.11+Rachel+Black+cockatoo.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Black cockatoo.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtytMldYuiKeCNasu7q7_e31gEnp8AmXy9DqIF64-g4Y7lgoMaeREHFGu7nZJ6tlfvzNbQ0MWZEN4T91Xo_ZVEU8k66wE-Bn0H5MyLtoyKPzx8MvKE02sg7vnipj__2uWSN4UjyQ/s1600/ANTM7.11+Liz+Crested+booby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtytMldYuiKeCNasu7q7_e31gEnp8AmXy9DqIF64-g4Y7lgoMaeREHFGu7nZJ6tlfvzNbQ0MWZEN4T91Xo_ZVEU8k66wE-Bn0H5MyLtoyKPzx8MvKE02sg7vnipj__2uWSN4UjyQ/s400/ANTM7.11+Liz+Crested+booby.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Great Crested Booby.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitN_14iG5FeFqFV5ywHtNf8eiXd78jrM04VQcCgwusphmwRQyKsWx8Hr4pKC71Jc_Wqdgdadxhr8ddhW8oY6_S09KXrYvrQv_POSK2N_jklhzlY7oStbV8276qzjz69nLiHyDWcQ/s1600/ANTM7.11+Simone+guano.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitN_14iG5FeFqFV5ywHtNf8eiXd78jrM04VQcCgwusphmwRQyKsWx8Hr4pKC71Jc_Wqdgdadxhr8ddhW8oY6_S09KXrYvrQv_POSK2N_jklhzlY7oStbV8276qzjz69nLiHyDWcQ/s400/ANTM7.11+Simone+guano.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Guano.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s fair to say that all the girls look frigging amazing, but nerves are high. Rachel says to camera “I think it’s important to not be the girl that falls at the last hurdle, and gets eliminated before the top three’. Yeah. That’s pretty important. You let me know how that goes, sugar-cakes.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After the shoot, Brigitte Nielsen gathers the scrags to tell them that they’ll be camping overnight on the island. Or “glamping”. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb53YiAYqk5CkSa6ACNapaQxY94hvLYOsyKhXSxJ19wuFa3j3ewSGLJiSNIwpfzjhrqG_jS737lrq8AmCTQKsp50Mo-p1Mg3KqVPF2hU9b_fS1p7ddIMR_VtpjHXKVvFOuPsiJmw/s1600/ANTM7.11+Josh+Glamping.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb53YiAYqk5CkSa6ACNapaQxY94hvLYOsyKhXSxJ19wuFa3j3ewSGLJiSNIwpfzjhrqG_jS737lrq8AmCTQKsp50Mo-p1Mg3KqVPF2hU9b_fS1p7ddIMR_VtpjHXKVvFOuPsiJmw/s400/ANTM7.11+Josh+Glamping.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Puns"</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Simone is distinctly unimpressed, which means we can update our list from back in episode 7:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">THINGS DOIK HATES. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1. Water</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2. Neo</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3. Nature</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4. Milo-stealing fat chicks</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">5. Camping</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">6. Not mentioning how much she hates camping.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She says she would “rather stay in a brothel or in a mental asylum than stay in a tent”, which is like Marc Chagall saying he’d rather bite off his own testes than use another primary colour, or, for the lowbrow amongst you, like Tara Reid saying she’d rather learn all the primary colours than bite another testicle.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To add insult to injury, she’s sharing a tent with Rachel.</span><br />
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</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs43zelD7sN-QiJg2ZAkUnytNj2lKc85jl7LaubuAIq9Na4hOXWpSH9VSNlo7LKr4yPHcnwAqiPjhEXRaKLMnqdVGcXF6Ii8XCh07luThEweypRospJPrQccGHoVD9tLUDbOzR2w/s1600/ANTM7.11+Rachel+tent+thanks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs43zelD7sN-QiJg2ZAkUnytNj2lKc85jl7LaubuAIq9Na4hOXWpSH9VSNlo7LKr4yPHcnwAqiPjhEXRaKLMnqdVGcXF6Ii8XCh07luThEweypRospJPrQccGHoVD9tLUDbOzR2w/s400/ANTM7.11+Rachel+tent+thanks.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY3k3JMQWGUOPfhYRNsf2wpRGzGDvb52OBw_kWJNa985nuY35b2xq9JDvhSPJ6noJcTJAnhLGXMSP42WeZwdZE2DpkJjCs9Wee1tSIcS-qXSZYYvGAiYppR6x7jO-Oitmf9JKkHw/s1600/ANTM7.11+Simone+face+stab.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="203" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY3k3JMQWGUOPfhYRNsf2wpRGzGDvb52OBw_kWJNa985nuY35b2xq9JDvhSPJ6noJcTJAnhLGXMSP42WeZwdZE2DpkJjCs9Wee1tSIcS-qXSZYYvGAiYppR6x7jO-Oitmf9JKkHw/s400/ANTM7.11+Simone+face+stab.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the morning the girls get up and go home on a boat they’ve apparently been on before. Now, I know that watching four girls get on a boat for the second time after camping overnight in the middle of the harbour for absolutely no fucking good reason at all may <i>sound</i> interesting, but I’m momentarily distracted by shopping for calico.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mmm. Poignant.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Challenged.</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fresh off the boring boat, Charlotte Dawson hands each of the girls a map, a Fashion Fiesta, a list of four designers and a deadline, and tells them it’s go-see time. Most of the modules are anxious about their map-reading skills, which is fair enough – it’s a pretty complicated map:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ4Vat0_DqdXvXlbziE1DFF7QPXDdimAa9WXARSF_fPzmz_VK4bm5oUmVntYttXuKrkmKrlUmy3qX6mDt_w21kd1dfe59eAckJ4kZE_FAPtQaN2YR9G2RtFimHoOdgdTTbRdYQug/s1600/ANTM7.11+Complicated+map.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ4Vat0_DqdXvXlbziE1DFF7QPXDdimAa9WXARSF_fPzmz_VK4bm5oUmVntYttXuKrkmKrlUmy3qX6mDt_w21kd1dfe59eAckJ4kZE_FAPtQaN2YR9G2RtFimHoOdgdTTbRdYQug/s400/ANTM7.11+Complicated+map.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Watch out for Godzilla.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Simone starts by walking in a swimming costume at Isola in front of Megan Gale, and boingy boingy boobaly tit-nork. Next it’s off to Camilla Franks, where DISASTER STRIKES!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu1hn2LmS1J_vTi5RQSXS8mbs2WBbFokPWBeLhkfv3w6qATn_3yqrytug6aMCpK9gteqRiP7pdmL09XPPjTTj7WvnJdRUSy3DlQgcA1RxQLgbS2exbanWSzJzsuVXW-cvHyU84Ng/s1600/ANTM7.11+Simone+armpit+check.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu1hn2LmS1J_vTi5RQSXS8mbs2WBbFokPWBeLhkfv3w6qATn_3yqrytug6aMCpK9gteqRiP7pdmL09XPPjTTj7WvnJdRUSy3DlQgcA1RxQLgbS2exbanWSzJzsuVXW-cvHyU84Ng/s400/ANTM7.11+Simone+armpit+check.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dah-Dah-Daaaaaaaaaaaaah!</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">See, you might not be able to make it out from that shot, but Simone has UNSHAVED ARMPITS! Here, I got a close-up shot for you.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicDVfk1E328xKp1YKC262zHYTIllOIBKYi_YplWFSmb47OxVjFNzqw7LnrIZ_TKv0vDF-ymuXYHseFjZ5427le945iXDEDP0Fshv5zKZrjBtROeVwlsBLX-o_YbYu4EYaVjhlhqw/s1600/ANTM7.11+Simone+armpit+chewbacca.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="322" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicDVfk1E328xKp1YKC262zHYTIllOIBKYi_YplWFSmb47OxVjFNzqw7LnrIZ_TKv0vDF-ymuXYHseFjZ5427le945iXDEDP0Fshv5zKZrjBtROeVwlsBLX-o_YbYu4EYaVjhlhqw/s400/ANTM7.11+Simone+armpit+chewbacca.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Let Simone's armpits beat you at chess.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Doik's excuse is that she was being held hostage on Cockatoo Island.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb53YiAYqk5CkSa6ACNapaQxY94hvLYOsyKhXSxJ19wuFa3j3ewSGLJiSNIwpfzjhrqG_jS737lrq8AmCTQKsp50Mo-p1Mg3KqVPF2hU9b_fS1p7ddIMR_VtpjHXKVvFOuPsiJmw/s1600/ANTM7.11+Josh+Glamping.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb53YiAYqk5CkSa6ACNapaQxY94hvLYOsyKhXSxJ19wuFa3j3ewSGLJiSNIwpfzjhrqG_jS737lrq8AmCTQKsp50Mo-p1Mg3KqVPF2hU9b_fS1p7ddIMR_VtpjHXKVvFOuPsiJmw/s400/ANTM7.11+Josh+Glamping.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Hostage"</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Doik can’t find Fernando Frisoni, so she gives up and heads back to Chic.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rachel heads to Camilla and Mark first and then to Isola, where she walks in a floor-length frock. For a swimwear designer. Because she is a role model for the Amish. Rather than visit any more designers, Rachel roams the city seeking out ‘No Right Turn’ signs and finds pretty much all of them. She has a little cry and heads back to Chic.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Montana, trying to find Woolloomooloo, ends up in St Leonards, which for those of you who don’t know Sydney is like your boyfriend trying to find your clitoris on the big toe of the guy who lives next door. She (eventually) starts at Fernando Frisoni, who has an accent I could spread on toast, have one bite of, spit out, and then oddly want more. He says that Montana is “very byoodeefuool”, and asks her to do a “leedle wowk” up and down his studio. After observing her, he says she “sounds good”, because apparently Fernando is on acid. He also thinks her career smells purple, and that he would book her with his eyes closed. See, when ABBA asked if Fernando could hear the drums, this is the guy they were talking about. Drums and a whispering unicorn. After a quick stop in at Camilla Franks, who she calls Camilla and Mark, Monty runs out of time and heads back to Chic.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Camilla Franks loves Liz, because Camilla Franks has eyes. Liz has boobs, and one of them pops out for a go-see of its own. Later, Liz arrives at Isola only to realise that it’s run by her idol, Megan Gale. Is that exciting, Liz?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjATkwSzqbg60ShT3JZvvgZ0ANw1N7PJAm-gbzBoVbhZn1sj4z70d6AvVqDKQfS4LhvQx412yBPlwB7qTrBjsL7i-MjGz2eCErkkH1HrD58AjJ6CJ7pU0g0UOR61C3HD7y0XgqA5A/s1600/ANTM7.11+Liz+Isola+excited2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjATkwSzqbg60ShT3JZvvgZ0ANw1N7PJAm-gbzBoVbhZn1sj4z70d6AvVqDKQfS4LhvQx412yBPlwB7qTrBjsL7i-MjGz2eCErkkH1HrD58AjJ6CJ7pU0g0UOR61C3HD7y0XgqA5A/s400/ANTM7.11+Liz+Isola+excited2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Megan asks why Liz looks so sad. Y’know. Because Liz looks so sad all the time.</span><br />
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</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijPRa1ikjJIA4Ih5Gy11d_q-mP5AxmI8BGm_KGwvdW6OU5V8wmh4AD7bg6gnWDLlUIivaUHPBfbQS1dOezyf3YYdDBR8yZgBX2Q_Kgr-qsU9RYbOxBIwPnu9x7K5JaBFqefe1QoQ/s1600/ANTM7.11+Liz+sad+looking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijPRa1ikjJIA4Ih5Gy11d_q-mP5AxmI8BGm_KGwvdW6OU5V8wmh4AD7bg6gnWDLlUIivaUHPBfbQS1dOezyf3YYdDBR8yZgBX2Q_Kgr-qsU9RYbOxBIwPnu9x7K5JaBFqefe1QoQ/s400/ANTM7.11+Liz+sad+looking.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I think you mean this, Ms Gale.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu7YN9jSguZswdSj7EGWFs9IUXDL8jHApyozwZ0xUyL_C6GZ_gtsmBVP8o7Op-HIsRmS0k5mRkjmD2dyaxiNhbdu_Cy4EDQjotKVthmM6I1rFU815egr-SHdyJOC6-BUQzep8zdw/s1600/ANTM7.11+Rachel+sad+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu7YN9jSguZswdSj7EGWFs9IUXDL8jHApyozwZ0xUyL_C6GZ_gtsmBVP8o7Op-HIsRmS0k5mRkjmD2dyaxiNhbdu_Cy4EDQjotKVthmM6I1rFU815egr-SHdyJOC6-BUQzep8zdw/s400/ANTM7.11+Rachel+sad+face.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Boo sorry thank you hoo.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eventually Liz remembers she’s my new best friend and heads back to Chic.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Montana wins the challenge. Come on. You know that.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Elimanationosity</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After a quick run-through of the prizes, which I think this year include a packet of novelty straws and a motorbike, the modules enter the Eliminarium for the very. Last. Time. Saint Sarah, fresh from a Save Glamping Hostages rally, greets them and introduces the judges. There’s Shiny Alex Perry, dressed today as a hairy billiard ball that’s been dropped in a bucket of ink, Charlotte Dawson, dressed today like she’d stab anyone who gets between her and the presidency of her local Neighbourhood Watch chapter, and model mentor Josh Flinn.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb53YiAYqk5CkSa6ACNapaQxY94hvLYOsyKhXSxJ19wuFa3j3ewSGLJiSNIwpfzjhrqG_jS737lrq8AmCTQKsp50Mo-p1Mg3KqVPF2hU9b_fS1p7ddIMR_VtpjHXKVvFOuPsiJmw/s1600/ANTM7.11+Josh+Glamping.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb53YiAYqk5CkSa6ACNapaQxY94hvLYOsyKhXSxJ19wuFa3j3ewSGLJiSNIwpfzjhrqG_jS737lrq8AmCTQKsp50Mo-p1Mg3KqVPF2hU9b_fS1p7ddIMR_VtpjHXKVvFOuPsiJmw/s400/ANTM7.11+Josh+Glamping.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Mentor"</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We have a squiz at the photos, and the judges go into spastic rapture over Montana’s shot.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Doik Simone is overwhelmed by coming this far in the competition and starts leaking some kind of fluid from her eyes. Huh. She has a soul. Who knew.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rachel is also overwhelmed and also cries, which is as surprising as oxygen. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Nobody’s fighting. Nobody’s being catty. What’s going on, Magic Psychic Desk?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhQvwU1Q5CsMMBXHRkUE1N1IrtZjL8oK5C8mVRjrVzKxRDaHA1MvOdX6TG7Sv99Hv9WxMBa8s0nMzBcDvWO1vZZGpn6XinuQ1kcElIVybfBI1qRBUJzsrsK9TOQETkKtQP4dAARQ/s1600/ANTM7.11+Magic+Psychic+Desk+Boring.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhQvwU1Q5CsMMBXHRkUE1N1IrtZjL8oK5C8mVRjrVzKxRDaHA1MvOdX6TG7Sv99Hv9WxMBa8s0nMzBcDvWO1vZZGpn6XinuQ1kcElIVybfBI1qRBUJzsrsK9TOQETkKtQP4dAARQ/s400/ANTM7.11+Magic+Psychic+Desk+Boring.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">All of the judges love newly-confident Liz’s shot except Shiny Alex Perry, who says she looks like a ‘shag on a rock’ and that her dress ate her. Dawson responds with “It was a shit designer that did it”, and the Magic Psychic Desk breathes a sigh of relief.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlZW07sw9Z55fVOd8N9_iBd2elSVbvo4P5EcGTlC3pXUoeJW0XGqEqZFWzUXDOIpThRbrWIEVseE7hPX_dXu6D7WWgxEf8sOoe7-HUB1lnC-cVEnzNay3aG1ZENXeDsI48o1jcpA/s1600/ANTM7.11+Magic+Psychic+Desk+There+It+Is.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlZW07sw9Z55fVOd8N9_iBd2elSVbvo4P5EcGTlC3pXUoeJW0XGqEqZFWzUXDOIpThRbrWIEVseE7hPX_dXu6D7WWgxEf8sOoe7-HUB1lnC-cVEnzNay3aG1ZENXeDsI48o1jcpA/s400/ANTM7.11+Magic+Psychic+Desk+There+It+Is.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The judges deliberate, decide that the show shouldn’t be called <i>Australia’s Next Potentially Okay Model</i> because the acronym would be ANTPOM, and thankfully nobody is asked to give a little speech about why they think they should win, because that usually makes me want to stab and burn things.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Montana is called first.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Liz, no doubt because she’s my best friend, is next.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s down to Doik Simone and Thank You Sorry Rachel, and Saint Sarah wonders who is the most versatile. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One and a half millennia pass, and because ‘versatility’ in the modelling industry means ‘boobs’, Rachel is out on her fully-clothed arse.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She doesn’t thank anyone. That girl should really learn some manners.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">******</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is no longer a country song. This is a freakin’ concept album. The eleventh verse of the longest one-verse-per-episode country ditty below. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If yooou’re</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the news for your personal views, making sex-tapes, high or single;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You’ll be all the rage on the gossip page – take a tip from Reines and Bingle.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now we’ll stick some dead feathers on your head in a frock from Alex Perry;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On a pole? Intense. Overnight? In tents! Till you go home on the ferry.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Go and get some gigs at designers’ digs , but avoid complete perfection:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pop out one of your tits, forget to shave your pits, and go in the wrong direction.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now despite your height, Rachel, say goodnight, ‘cause you’re fourth when judges rank you;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Say your sad goodbyes, then apologise, thanks and sorry, really, thank you.</span></div>Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-30033270891018722172011-10-10T20:37:00.000+11:002011-10-10T20:37:33.896+11:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven #10<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know a lot of you are time-poor, so this week I’m giving you a choice of recaps.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">First up, the express version:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">HITS. TITS. THAT’S ABOUT IT.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And secondly, the full version, which we’ll call the ‘Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like A Scrag’ episode of <i>Australia’s Next Top Model. </i>Wear a cup. Maybe a couple of them.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">******</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Can you <i>believe</i> there’s only six girls left? That seems remarkable after only four hundred and thirty six episodes of the show.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Learnment.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The scrags are all just hanging by the pool one morning wrapped in blankets in full make-up, when suddenly a Sarah-Mail announces that they’re going to stop being friends and start being foes. Naturally, everybody assumes that they’ll be wrestling in Sumo suits. Brains grow on pretty high branches in this neighbourhood.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghtYFvkpSiBtaO9J1ce59Wvo4UmEFyx4Ib23mWSHckMKaUE9Onogkl_4ZFQtfybvFVJj2Cz9EWn3j0bjwR9PqVGISsd16Vl6LDoLCnK1vEIGe1Ml1FA6wznmCG_BV8oyVtzHb-rw/s1600/ANTM7.10+Sumo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghtYFvkpSiBtaO9J1ce59Wvo4UmEFyx4Ib23mWSHckMKaUE9Onogkl_4ZFQtfybvFVJj2Cz9EWn3j0bjwR9PqVGISsd16Vl6LDoLCnK1vEIGe1Ml1FA6wznmCG_BV8oyVtzHb-rw/s400/ANTM7.10+Sumo.jpg" width="265" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Come at me, foe.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Fashion Fiestas tip the girls out at a place called Boxing Works, where as Liz says, “There was this massive guy like, punching the hell out of this bag”.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG4OhIsSVVRa9e2qSTYEV159T_S2Uqev01dyUypKLYqDdCSYoevwJbRwXSTT8E1EX0yyKBbhWmxc3YCciFoTs91oTpa7phk-DjBb8tTjiURKlhSA2QxJVjxOGqQl1f8X5EjLFwMg/s1600/ANTM7.10+Charlotte+punching+bag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG4OhIsSVVRa9e2qSTYEV159T_S2Uqev01dyUypKLYqDdCSYoevwJbRwXSTT8E1EX0yyKBbhWmxc3YCciFoTs91oTpa7phk-DjBb8tTjiURKlhSA2QxJVjxOGqQl1f8X5EjLFwMg/s400/ANTM7.10+Charlotte+punching+bag.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's not very nice.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawson tells the modules that, in accordance with the traditional laws of fashion and modelling, they’ll be learning how to cage fight today. The massive guy, otherwise known as Marcus, draws the obvious analogy that ‘If you’re in the cage and you’re not confident, it’s a pretty lonely place, just like the catwalk’. He’s right, y’know. If you take away the other models, designers, hair and make-up artists, lighting and sound guys, audience and photographers, that catwalk sure is lonely. Marcus tells the girls how to throw a punch, but not nearly as well as <u><a href="http://shellity.blogspot.com/2011/10/punch.html">this</a>.</u> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mind you, we’re not here for logic. WE’RE HERE TO PUNCH SHIT. Punch shit and do some Kung Pow stuff, huh Montana. Yeah.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Liz reveals that she has a red belt in Tae Kwon Do, but she stopped short of a black belt because she didn’t want to learn Korean. She wants to concentrate on learning English first. It turns out she really knows how to land a punch, which scares Izzy. “You’d never know, and she’d never tell you, but she’s like a silent ninja”, she says, pretty much nailing the dictionary definition of ‘ninja’. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Liz tries to intimidate the other girls by baring her teeth and flexing her neck muscles.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJTAdEEJ97JelLatRmY7Xw0V7LHHfM-aA_AE7ljsqDJSlMBB949x0nRiLax-6yvkagWHUltoyVeEEc5dNsTx0ttBMWNKb7LfslWWs8lMaGyNUI0S_au8i2nD5dJXlEQkB_B3zgTA/s1600/ANTM7.10+Liz+neck+teeth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJTAdEEJ97JelLatRmY7Xw0V7LHHfM-aA_AE7ljsqDJSlMBB949x0nRiLax-6yvkagWHUltoyVeEEc5dNsTx0ttBMWNKb7LfslWWs8lMaGyNUI0S_au8i2nD5dJXlEQkB_B3zgTA/s400/ANTM7.10+Liz+neck+teeth.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In Tae Kwon Do, this is known as 'The Constipated Grasshopper'</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Seriously, though. Bitch is fierce.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYYCYNIdobJGfbryMRAGK9bM9US4JFFdWRbQbLnBp3gZD2vrpzOq5VmQ2pKrBj-aCcpbYa4nYPoSdSrcRNZiKD71oQ32qusunujJb8wB4dV2lenczhOmjSKPbw2hnfDPUHZC3Ddw/s1600/ANTM7.10+Liz+badass+punch+pose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYYCYNIdobJGfbryMRAGK9bM9US4JFFdWRbQbLnBp3gZD2vrpzOq5VmQ2pKrBj-aCcpbYa4nYPoSdSrcRNZiKD71oQ32qusunujJb8wB4dV2lenczhOmjSKPbw2hnfDPUHZC3Ddw/s400/ANTM7.10+Liz+badass+punch+pose.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Meanwhile, Rachel tries not to punch herself in the face.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixi_LVoz3gvZX7l88v_Lia7mkZVN0ULfJlq_Lt12dkuNetCtpWKW9sWyG2DgmDCJFUQQMgTm2OIhTwuSlNxIsnE5hJD29iYaH9H5pDpfbgrC2WxoqDBZnQH9H5HgQqAs_il8K_1A/s1600/ANTM7.10+Rachel+unco+punch2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixi_LVoz3gvZX7l88v_Lia7mkZVN0ULfJlq_Lt12dkuNetCtpWKW9sWyG2DgmDCJFUQQMgTm2OIhTwuSlNxIsnE5hJD29iYaH9H5pDpfbgrC2WxoqDBZnQH9H5HgQqAs_il8K_1A/s400/ANTM7.10+Rachel+unco+punch2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Seriously, honey. If there really was a God, this wouldn't happen.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She worries a bit about her severe lack of co-ordination, stating that ‘I was definitely not the fittest’. This is like MC Escher saying that he kinda likes staircases or, for the lowbrow amongst you, like Leonardo DiCaprio calling himself a marginally slight man-slut.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The class gradually moves on to arguably the world’s most complicated wrestling technique. It’s a lot like hugging, but with a doctorate in applied physics. You basically just have to put one arm there, one foot there, lift your spleen up to your shoulder, and recite pi to three hundred and forty-two decimal places. Shoulders back, now. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Meanwhile, Rachel enlists Izzy to help her rehearse for a role in the upcoming film Drunk Bitches Fight Over A Bag Of Chips.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguyyZzyms9sC23-OMKzGYmzOZBTpXBVLKsa2elwsTnQza025C8_hp_LYv6nTZWt6OUKcdE1WaLYdJtdzW6wF5FImyMDBSkWICOYcaCNuxT_1qUmwOmzY68s7uwGf98hEUa0neFBA/s1600/ANTM7.10+Rachel+Izzy+wrestle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguyyZzyms9sC23-OMKzGYmzOZBTpXBVLKsa2elwsTnQza025C8_hp_LYv6nTZWt6OUKcdE1WaLYdJtdzW6wF5FImyMDBSkWICOYcaCNuxT_1qUmwOmzY68s7uwGf98hEUa0neFBA/s400/ANTM7.10+Rachel+Izzy+wrestle.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNPnNFyzLZVijSFuzC8AK5bOvLWU0Xd9n_gGHE5TVOaq0TLEubXInaMP2Fs99MBrSUQFeAy8AK_EenTnCPUdckby5E5wm4OEjnRQkfm5SvsSNNPEG2aYgLUkE2PqbCAAjTA4vg7A/s1600/ANTM7.10+Rachel+Izzy+wrestle2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNPnNFyzLZVijSFuzC8AK5bOvLWU0Xd9n_gGHE5TVOaq0TLEubXInaMP2Fs99MBrSUQFeAy8AK_EenTnCPUdckby5E5wm4OEjnRQkfm5SvsSNNPEG2aYgLUkE2PqbCAAjTA4vg7A/s400/ANTM7.10+Rachel+Izzy+wrestle2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Next, the scrags are asked to beat up on some stuffed, shiny, expressionless dummies, but Marcus doesn’t think they’re punching hard enough.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQSBUp-Qp0JFHPYqyaakvkZ0-4xJPwWBJpxivgH5Rn39ET8UMOEDgLKRgf2tBMmwwzSGI_i6CX_BXoAKsV8zy66SzKIRHmfZyIrDEecpRUEpD1gdnk0osymCMAs3rVRQmQQzqwoQ/s1600/ANTM7.10+Liz+punching+dummy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQSBUp-Qp0JFHPYqyaakvkZ0-4xJPwWBJpxivgH5Rn39ET8UMOEDgLKRgf2tBMmwwzSGI_i6CX_BXoAKsV8zy66SzKIRHmfZyIrDEecpRUEpD1gdnk0osymCMAs3rVRQmQQzqwoQ/s400/ANTM7.10+Liz+punching+dummy.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Which is weird, because most of my best friends are actually pretty violent.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I figure I should do something to help them really let out their aggression. I’M A GIVER.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFuTYWR7XL4veZEeD5zj71vMSgByDWHwcLsW_hasmgxDKV64EyCBwWc7SyejJdVaYOsFNOhTh5yDeNkw4KI6YUlnWQx-folcdBmcs2kDBYV3fWGBIbSpxk0keArUPIoNJC_itiFg/s1600/ANTM7.10+Perry+punching+dummy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFuTYWR7XL4veZEeD5zj71vMSgByDWHwcLsW_hasmgxDKV64EyCBwWc7SyejJdVaYOsFNOhTh5yDeNkw4KI6YUlnWQx-folcdBmcs2kDBYV3fWGBIbSpxk0keArUPIoNJC_itiFg/s400/ANTM7.10+Perry+punching+dummy.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You're welcome.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Simone just spoons her dummy, because it’s been a really, really long time since she’s flirted with a man. Before lunchtime at least.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyK6JAduPYUQov4JgTSraNfe1Kxpkvl0UMOJxz_GgKRI08yxjaRX-kjbB1XjAe927kV7rDAi38iPJIAJVtnGPN3InENR8HmvDo4a4oLNOGt5ywoqUWjB_k3BY7RahByIK6u9iKxQ/s1600/ANTM7.10+Simone+spoons+dummy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyK6JAduPYUQov4JgTSraNfe1Kxpkvl0UMOJxz_GgKRI08yxjaRX-kjbB1XjAe927kV7rDAi38iPJIAJVtnGPN3InENR8HmvDo4a4oLNOGt5ywoqUWjB_k3BY7RahByIK6u9iKxQ/s400/ANTM7.10+Simone+spoons+dummy.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Unfortunately he has an early meeting tomorrow.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Challenged.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s just so goddamn <i>wacky </i>how these girls keep getting Sarah Mails at exactly those moments that they’re all together in the one room. This particular one says something about how Saint Sarah ‘hopes you’ve been listening, so that you don’t stack up short’. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Huh? God, that play on words is so lame and pointless, if it was a band it would be Short Sta... oh. Oh, I see what you did there.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The girls rock up to Oxford Art Factory to be met by Josh Brigitte Nielsen Flinn, who proves the age-defying advantages of wearing horizontal stripes.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRP1UH-Ek56hosDARv5JArxOFg_xBtmMmULhtRPdkirdZrhnnC5WS9osiLuewOmliptOmu0VLs2HTAWwZtjFl7aPgdrW_SsuLNtK_UBedyYSyGi-ijiJkUNmlZSpsDGwAuiL8gdQ/s1600/ANTM7.10+Brigitte+vertical+stripe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRP1UH-Ek56hosDARv5JArxOFg_xBtmMmULhtRPdkirdZrhnnC5WS9osiLuewOmliptOmu0VLs2HTAWwZtjFl7aPgdrW_SsuLNtK_UBedyYSyGi-ijiJkUNmlZSpsDGwAuiL8gdQ/s320/ANTM7.10+Brigitte+vertical+stripe.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Before</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO0sXqhgPZKo9HAuk54jrxi3Jq-e5p3anUBjebcNbOVYXV7SXb_9B8Y1egcDbxGiIc81ZN3lw4bTPAIlkjIJRXQZiUWdN8mwOURRHgb8ORhx2jrVd5pvQODnMC3KaKUCasN1qXJg/s1600/ANTM7.10+Brigitte+horizontal+stripe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO0sXqhgPZKo9HAuk54jrxi3Jq-e5p3anUBjebcNbOVYXV7SXb_9B8Y1egcDbxGiIc81ZN3lw4bTPAIlkjIJRXQZiUWdN8mwOURRHgb8ORhx2jrVd5pvQODnMC3KaKUCasN1qXJg/s320/ANTM7.10+Brigitte+horizontal+stripe.jpg" width="314" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">After.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yep. Googled 'Brigitte Neilsen stripes'. I am your god now.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Josh announces that they’ll be auditioning for the parts of two cage-fighters in a Short Stack music video for their song “Bang Bang Sexy”, because the previous record holders for World’s Stupidest Song Title died or something. Rachel’s excited because Short Stack was the first concert she ever went to, unless you count Shave Our Souls, the bangin’ five-piece combo that plays at Teen Church every Sunday afternoon.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The audition consists of walking forward aggressively and throwing a few air punches, all a bit sexily. MODELLING IS SO <i>HARD</i>, YOU GUYZ. It also consists of practicing for a bit in an adjoining room which has been thoughtfully wallpapered with several layers of BitchFace. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOdulgYJ7wq1jofxl7dXJ85J-f5LPAoOFd6dGIn7Orlpqi2sRfIbJgrOCxGOqQiB5nJCIMKIW_57NL4HQPRCvVyusDDYnnQJoCQaC8xZWTnDysvF3tKEQq5v6Wz5rXQR2PFPdd4g/s1600/ANTM7.10+Bitch+faces1.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOdulgYJ7wq1jofxl7dXJ85J-f5LPAoOFd6dGIn7Orlpqi2sRfIbJgrOCxGOqQiB5nJCIMKIW_57NL4HQPRCvVyusDDYnnQJoCQaC8xZWTnDysvF3tKEQq5v6Wz5rXQR2PFPdd4g/s1600/ANTM7.10+Bitch+faces1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiqdhT2a7o_Gr6tVn7zo8F58lJZ-BgtjLohqodLoKTzw8L0eClyDhyphenhyphenpOk3bZXal8MWCqx682vgTN36xI7ysV7HXY4tsTo9oYZro-6Bc0YmOGdQWPMD1fZfwVu6fEC-GIdbyZ8j-A/s1600/ANTM7.10+Bitch+faces2.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiqdhT2a7o_Gr6tVn7zo8F58lJZ-BgtjLohqodLoKTzw8L0eClyDhyphenhyphenpOk3bZXal8MWCqx682vgTN36xI7ysV7HXY4tsTo9oYZro-6Bc0YmOGdQWPMD1fZfwVu6fEC-GIdbyZ8j-A/s1600/ANTM7.10+Bitch+faces2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX2ZxlmFkcIPH42IyC8faM3aYw5SQy8z1Vgc-XhQddfrhX7ItbnTzyISBTQ_8x3d3YKC1B5FDBOqbk-FmzJhqBYzsFxXDZ82Fpbim-7prsj51mDE-gq6q-t4xDBlwrfd8AQo2gGw/s1600/ANTM7.10+Bitch+faces3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX2ZxlmFkcIPH42IyC8faM3aYw5SQy8z1Vgc-XhQddfrhX7ItbnTzyISBTQ_8x3d3YKC1B5FDBOqbk-FmzJhqBYzsFxXDZ82Fpbim-7prsj51mDE-gq6q-t4xDBlwrfd8AQo2gGw/s400/ANTM7.10+Bitch+faces3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They're angry because someone hid their Tresemme.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Meanwhile, Rachel wants you to know that she’s very cross with you indeed.</span></div></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNJCHS3Ul4ynn8naIGYU31JPh9moWKYVsYsoO8NvJwG9hMo-3-tb8dp7AVTibLQvufVleTJFYeCz41fV5-zVpxl3fQMEqiuxLz5yVvFDTfal-atj_A0dp_gSTQkMIaAROHSCN-Zw/s1600/ANTM7.10+Rachel+unco+punch4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNJCHS3Ul4ynn8naIGYU31JPh9moWKYVsYsoO8NvJwG9hMo-3-tb8dp7AVTibLQvufVleTJFYeCz41fV5-zVpxl3fQMEqiuxLz5yVvFDTfal-atj_A0dp_gSTQkMIaAROHSCN-Zw/s400/ANTM7.10+Rachel+unco+punch4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrthank you.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The girls meet a dance director, a fighting choreographer and a martial arts actress, and IT’S TOO MANY PEOPLE, STOP INTRODUCING PEOPLE. Simone doesn’t think she’s very convincing as an ‘angry fighter chick’ (Shut up, no way etc) Liz punches some more crap out of some more crap, and meanwhile, this is less intimidating than ground-up kittens:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWXWug2o1kvCDKGE9SQG8y2a6QTy1WZmau3YvVqAXl3qAOxOLj0kA77IkSPMLpZOu1C1333o7iLZWX8UMw9jptFGKwnwesmrAF9Rg-dTi2VPt9MCZabJidpvZA6HogxXZcfn-Y-A/s1600/ANTM7.10+Rachel+gif.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWXWug2o1kvCDKGE9SQG8y2a6QTy1WZmau3YvVqAXl3qAOxOLj0kA77IkSPMLpZOu1C1333o7iLZWX8UMw9jptFGKwnwesmrAF9Rg-dTi2VPt9MCZabJidpvZA6HogxXZcfn-Y-A/s1600/ANTM7.10+Rachel+gif.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Come at me, bro. If you wouldn't mind, and if you're not too busy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">FINALLY the girls get to actually audition in front of the band and music video director.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Simone has trouble figuring out where she’s supposed to stand, and then does some kind of Aggression Jazzercise. Liz kicks ever-lovin’ arse, Hazel is as meek as a barely noticeable meek thing, Monty’s entire act seems to revolve around pulling her sleeves up, and Izzy mentions that her boyfriend is in a horror surf band called the Go-Go Haunters. I don’t know where he finds the time, what with his hectic schedule of coffin-owning and everything. One of the guys in Short Stack tells Izzy that she looks like she’s been to a rock gig or two in her life, and then asks her what they’re like, because he doesn’t know. He’s in Short Stack.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Liz and Izzy win the challenge, which earn them the temporary nicknames of Lez and Lezzy.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcdxPfxDzlaV45yzja81arcAIgRG6CwosSgxt26AeVWx-7NXI85kOXFDEH7_ydNs_DIs1fADpE2g1RgJEN-_hpMDThQIt2wGRmIBdbzIYAhgENJApcvxg8cq1dsdiR32eJRB_Z0g/s1600/ANTM7.10+Izzy+Lizzy+Lezzo+porn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcdxPfxDzlaV45yzja81arcAIgRG6CwosSgxt26AeVWx-7NXI85kOXFDEH7_ydNs_DIs1fADpE2g1RgJEN-_hpMDThQIt2wGRmIBdbzIYAhgENJApcvxg8cq1dsdiR32eJRB_Z0g/s400/ANTM7.10+Izzy+Lizzy+Lezzo+porn.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYoxFuTmhg3_foRHepySsc1qfveNGG2e5SSv8S4vM06p2yYw2KC4KerfTA3z37KTyAaC0FnSYhviJ4o7aYuG_XKZ1Qi6urdNmVDff0LAyYSHBTweh0g6RsKqTPg5ROblCyRyeSGQ/s1600/ANTM7.10+Izzy+Lizzy+Lezzo+porn2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYoxFuTmhg3_foRHepySsc1qfveNGG2e5SSv8S4vM06p2yYw2KC4KerfTA3z37KTyAaC0FnSYhviJ4o7aYuG_XKZ1Qi6urdNmVDff0LAyYSHBTweh0g6RsKqTPg5ROblCyRyeSGQ/s400/ANTM7.10+Izzy+Lizzy+Lezzo+porn2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">With a special hey to all our straight male viewers. I hope all four of you enjoyed this bit.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, I know that a bit of faux-lesbo porn in a cage with a band playing on top and a bunch of screaming extras may <i>sound</i> interesting, but I’m momentarily distracted by a Short Stack album.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Meanwhile, Rachel is still trying to land a punch.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgXTVgNAZ3CRNI9f4Fsbb36IY__gzd2QuNW_ZiD07rBIOtwcuZHDAaHDnawwotZl3RTIk8Rdqc29XfRZjmC6uAaI8GK_q9JgnKKkf2anwm0_mryXXuY35KX6HcqnQ0dmHAIKMQhg/s1600/ANTM7.10+Rachel+unco+punch3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgXTVgNAZ3CRNI9f4Fsbb36IY__gzd2QuNW_ZiD07rBIOtwcuZHDAaHDnawwotZl3RTIk8Rdqc29XfRZjmC6uAaI8GK_q9JgnKKkf2anwm0_mryXXuY35KX6HcqnQ0dmHAIKMQhg/s400/ANTM7.10+Rachel+unco+punch3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Missed.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let’s take a little breather to have our hearts, souls and hopes broken, shall we? Back at the Module Mansion, Liz learns from her <i>other </i>best friend that her boyfriend cheated on her, a fact confirmed by her boyfriend via a series of grunts and clicks. Liz cries. This is UNACCEPTABLE. Right, angry little fat kid?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilV3eKOGBKA-7uXhtpTr3nvggk8QuuQjtAYbsD6VMiHzhCzuqJr_-s2io-LYfWPbGd-ARR6vcBzsmRu1FNHch333qyGLB3igOvAeywOBCaDGwZVuWO7typ1rdJ6Zt03mpDzW_fYg/s1600/antm7.10+Cheat+on+liz+meme.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilV3eKOGBKA-7uXhtpTr3nvggk8QuuQjtAYbsD6VMiHzhCzuqJr_-s2io-LYfWPbGd-ARR6vcBzsmRu1FNHch333qyGLB3igOvAeywOBCaDGwZVuWO7typ1rdJ6Zt03mpDzW_fYg/s400/antm7.10+Cheat+on+liz+meme.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Right.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Phoy-Toy Shoot</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Flinn Brigitte Josh Nielsen summons the girls to the brothel-esque Victoria Room in Darlinghurst for a good old fashioned undie shoot. Module Alexandra Agoston is there in her knickers to offer support and a slight suggestion of nipple, and Simone is beyond excited because she’s ‘been waiting to do a shoot like this for so long’. She means ‘get her tits out’.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Alexandra gives the scrags a few pointers (tits) including pointing out that whatever is closest to the camera always looks the biggest. She means tits.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Josh introduces photographer Simon Lekias, and I have a pronunciation-induced aneurysm. He tells the girls that lingerie modelling is all in the eyes. He means tits.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Styling is gorgeous – all 40s boudoir slutty with dark lips, pale brows and slicked side-parted hair, with orchids and feathered fans as props. Josh tells the modules that the main thing he wants to see in the shoot today is body confidence. And how did that go for you, Josh?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMQrrJ-5BlliF5HVNptvCyYobI9LTlCTezZ1duZU3F1IbptNnEbc5WSlnqgUCQX6xenZJdvl0qSis-zULaYJrVZS3IqaufYHTxgDqRSqFr-vPBP8mLo-Fi6ykTQOkerIPh5siV8A/s1600/ANTM7.10+Lingerie+sads+Izzy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMQrrJ-5BlliF5HVNptvCyYobI9LTlCTezZ1duZU3F1IbptNnEbc5WSlnqgUCQX6xenZJdvl0qSis-zULaYJrVZS3IqaufYHTxgDqRSqFr-vPBP8mLo-Fi6ykTQOkerIPh5siV8A/s400/ANTM7.10+Lingerie+sads+Izzy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSqM2O8Ix042CkJ5hAjjQoOP62vznp2JOjzfCRT2JQSMQRSwMy4GoBBt-rIL2YBwA2MEGoRe52XbKlyKQepvPeWZtpc-DeZz6flAttDb9wVPnXOGisoMMcfcNyJY60ulieLmPz7g/s1600/ANTM7.10+Lingerie+sads+Liz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSqM2O8Ix042CkJ5hAjjQoOP62vznp2JOjzfCRT2JQSMQRSwMy4GoBBt-rIL2YBwA2MEGoRe52XbKlyKQepvPeWZtpc-DeZz6flAttDb9wVPnXOGisoMMcfcNyJY60ulieLmPz7g/s400/ANTM7.10+Lingerie+sads+Liz.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFhss-Uiuo503HkaQvnopvAieQIG8UFN9HFtvG_lSAXk2VWa7HL1vx7ppHHNZb5fhLY2T8obiZHoaVajT2Wg4RrbH6nyHhon5hE8S-oGkeFPa328ZA2R2tqeB9sC3t9iy1vbLIiw/s1600/ANTM7.10+Lingerie+sads+Rachel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFhss-Uiuo503HkaQvnopvAieQIG8UFN9HFtvG_lSAXk2VWa7HL1vx7ppHHNZb5fhLY2T8obiZHoaVajT2Wg4RrbH6nyHhon5hE8S-oGkeFPa328ZA2R2tqeB9sC3t9iy1vbLIiw/s400/ANTM7.10+Lingerie+sads+Rachel.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pretty good, thanks.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Izzy is really nervous and less amazing than usual. Josh gives her a pep talk afterwards. Thanks, Josh.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Montana looks incredible, poses perfectly, and is completely flawless. Liz is nervous, and asks Alexandra if her tummy looks fat, which is as ridiculous as asking James Franco to get out of bed and put his pants back on. Josh gives her a pep talk after her shoot. Thanks, Josh.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Simone is boobetty booby boob boob, titty McFunBags norky nork nork. And gold earrings.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hazel is pretty good. Hazel is pretty boring. For some reason Rachel comes off looking like she could bench-press a lounge suite, and explains herself with “Awkward comes a bit naturally for me”, which causes time to suddenly implode on itself, because the what now? Josh gives her a pep talk after her shoot. Thanks, Josh. No, really, ta. Thanks a lot. Thank yooooouu.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eliminationosity<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After a quick reminder about the prizes, which I think this year include a six-pack of Bacardi Breezers and a tampon, the modules face the Eliminarium. Saint Sarah, fresh from circulating a petition for the Punch Liz’s Boyfriend In The Groin Association, introduces the judges – Charlotte Dawson, dressed today as the longest-standing female member of the Comancheros, Shiny Alex Perry, dressed today not in his customary black, but in a shirt straight from a job interview at Businessman’s Squinting Solutions Inc, and Alexandra Agoston, dressed today for the first time in weeks.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Izzy’s photo is not well received. Not only is it called ‘daggy’, it gets the first official Sarah Face of the whole series.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx79JWDmgnJ5tRgltRnjMnpUlo_vacIeBEMtCEgWvRLZdAvN4ZYEDU81bN1Af81POXMdPo_hWehRxYpN0S9Frd8jjM2q2bh59Odc_uT9vYHzJeeyOWrVMZeOJZQwa6oHf1ZRvlPg/s1600/ANTM7.10+Sarah+face+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx79JWDmgnJ5tRgltRnjMnpUlo_vacIeBEMtCEgWvRLZdAvN4ZYEDU81bN1Af81POXMdPo_hWehRxYpN0S9Frd8jjM2q2bh59Odc_uT9vYHzJeeyOWrVMZeOJZQwa6oHf1ZRvlPg/s400/ANTM7.10+Sarah+face+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia93yAuHG4T1uXwWdWS_qOkaT5IPzmDSTu88I4lezzWSLilIB_5Nog3l5A6WOdndxn6UK7OjxoXY0FbwFvor0FvWAe2Z8mqS3vsnlyMHvSlfjCjNcGpZvjiQcDwr2bwaw3LVZriw/s1600/ANTM7.10+Sarah+face+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia93yAuHG4T1uXwWdWS_qOkaT5IPzmDSTu88I4lezzWSLilIB_5Nog3l5A6WOdndxn6UK7OjxoXY0FbwFvor0FvWAe2Z8mqS3vsnlyMHvSlfjCjNcGpZvjiQcDwr2bwaw3LVZriw/s400/ANTM7.10+Sarah+face+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And what does Magic Psychic Desk have to say about that?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWPhb7P7NkcYhFCMG_xlQXRopiyd-OKi_l1jGbn9pEDWwPFJ8KlfYuyHK2PSqnabmdNnGc-_s9JWimf1NGPquWvkxYRWhZy0bLsq3o6114WMVkaVMg0W6mYdUkuWxZ_0EHOt31ig/s1600/antm7.10+Magic+Psychic+Desk+Izzy+Sarah+Face..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWPhb7P7NkcYhFCMG_xlQXRopiyd-OKi_l1jGbn9pEDWwPFJ8KlfYuyHK2PSqnabmdNnGc-_s9JWimf1NGPquWvkxYRWhZy0bLsq3o6114WMVkaVMg0W6mYdUkuWxZ_0EHOt31ig/s400/antm7.10+Magic+Psychic+Desk+Izzy+Sarah+Face..jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Liz’s photo makes the judges gush, but she isn’t so sure. “It looks like I’ve got a keg”, she says.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3FQ6LsXVYgGhJYzu-33b9oewSYrCg7B1cZ29nTKmOwozTetNYGUeGAukyLwNu4BQf4-9N_k-k0hK8TQFBCN8FA5m2iWS4UcCo0K8Oj2jqjozeB9h5qIeVguGfK4Nu7D4_pzI_2A/s1600/ANTM7.10+Sarah+face+Liz+keg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3FQ6LsXVYgGhJYzu-33b9oewSYrCg7B1cZ29nTKmOwozTetNYGUeGAukyLwNu4BQf4-9N_k-k0hK8TQFBCN8FA5m2iWS4UcCo0K8Oj2jqjozeB9h5qIeVguGfK4Nu7D4_pzI_2A/s400/ANTM7.10+Sarah+face+Liz+keg.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Exactly.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Simone’s shot is great but cheesy, Montana’s is fucking perfection, Hazel’s is a meh sandwich between two slices of meh, and Rachel’s is a bit like large, intense pieces of Lego.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The judges deliberate, Shiny Alex Perry and Dawson have a bit of an argument (which is as surprising as looking down and seeing feet), and the scrags are dragged back into the room to hear their fate.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Montana gets Photo Of The Week, and then a couple of modules are picked off until only Izzy and Hazel remain. Izzy is told that she used to be a favourite, but that she’s disappointing now. Hazel learns that her inconsistency is a worry. Self-esteem learns that its services will no longer be required.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Forty two years pass, and BOTH girls are out. It’s ANOTHER double elimination. Anything to say about that, Magic Psychic Desk?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhovdwyD1AKej6QMCzkR4zvc6MnDu0TdhPLO2l91hQPh9QQpJqzBb9zddzZu8Xu1bXzqUljfVjubI8aHWBBMyoag7GMLqO1PW-X8FHnJq2MlQXnfhM-UiYGteAAFvQDlBs-3RaDtQ/s1600/antm7.10+Magic+Psychic+Desk+double+elimination.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhovdwyD1AKej6QMCzkR4zvc6MnDu0TdhPLO2l91hQPh9QQpJqzBb9zddzZu8Xu1bXzqUljfVjubI8aHWBBMyoag7GMLqO1PW-X8FHnJq2MlQXnfhM-UiYGteAAFvQDlBs-3RaDtQ/s400/antm7.10+Magic+Psychic+Desk+double+elimination.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bye, Izzy and Hazel! I’ll miss your pink hair, amazing poses, coffins, hair-teeth, horror surf bands and general buckets full of awesome! Aaaand I guess I’ll also miss you a bit too, Hazel.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">******</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So if you’ve been living under a rock or just out in the real world or something, you might not know that I’ve been writing a country song based on one verse per episode. You either wish you thought of that first or actually have friends, huh. Anyway:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If yooouuuu’re</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shy and meek, then you’ll learn this week how to be a lot less guarded.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">‘Cause we’ll kick your arse in a boxing class where you’ll look a bit retarded.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you can punch and grunt you’ll be up the front and we’ll put you on the telly;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But the very next day you’ll just find a way to complain about your belly.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hope you’ve had a wax, ‘cause you’re in your daks, try to look like pros, not newbies;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What I mean by that is to not be fat and to hoik up both your boobies.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now I’m in a whirl, ‘cause another two girls get the boot – it makes me dizzy;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So we’ll say goodbye with a tearful eye to both Hazel and to Izzy.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-37806644090727276762011-10-03T20:36:00.001+11:002011-10-05T15:19:38.911+11:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven #9<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This week it’s all about pink bits. Pink ribbons, pink rubbish, and pink paint. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Okay, I lied about the rubbish. To be honest, I lied one time about being a gymnast, too, but that’s not really relevant right now. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Whack on some lippy and slap your sunburn, it’s the ‘Scraggy In Pink’ episode of <i>Australia’s Next Top Model’.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And also boobs.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">******</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After checking out the Photo Of The Week for a bit and having everyone agree with Simone when she points out how beautiful she is, Saint Sarah makes an unexpected appearance at the house with charitably tousled hair. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Tonight is an opportunity to have a girl’s night in!”, she announces, making a marked difference to every other night where the girls don't... go... out. “It’s an opportunity for us to talk about women’s cancers”. WOOHOO! I’ll make the popcorn! Wait, what?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh. Saint Sarah’s brought a mate, Krystal Barter, to talk about breast cancer. And here is a space that all my insensitive jokes would go in under any other circumstances.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thanks a <i>lot</i>, important issue. Thanks a frigging bunch-a-roo.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">RIGHT. Now that’s done, Saint Sarah hints that there’ll be some extra girls arriving to take part in the girl’s night in, and that they’ll be ‘familiar faces’. Madeline is concerned, saying “As soon as we heard ‘familiar faces’, we were like, <i>please</i>, don’t just be Charlotte”.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYcgXjK2mpIUupzUvfxe5jilSCvFLdZBp6NSFsSVBfnV7dvAsD7hrj824NeEDc417sW46HqcU-UMor_p-x7msA7HK6G-mmk7-6Uaf3xYWEHyHbGys2oK0Glg0A3ihUgxB-6dD3rA/s1600/ANTM7.3+When+Charlotte+Does+This+You%2527re+Fucked.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYcgXjK2mpIUupzUvfxe5jilSCvFLdZBp6NSFsSVBfnV7dvAsD7hrj824NeEDc417sW46HqcU-UMor_p-x7msA7HK6G-mmk7-6Uaf3xYWEHyHbGys2oK0Glg0A3ihUgxB-6dD3rA/s400/ANTM7.3+When+Charlotte+Does+This+You%2527re+Fucked.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Remember ages ago how I said that whenever Dawson does this, you're fucked? THAT.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">All of a sudden, the sisters and best friends of the scrags are pouring through the door, bearing hugs and gifts. Well, “gifts”. Let’s use that term relatively loosely. In fact, let’s rank the gifts from Couldn’t You Have Just Brought Something I Can Use Like Tampons to Most Horribly And Pointlessly Shitful:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSsHUAcbiXH5PZZ9RVWu5G31EAYHokPJX_5h3ZTTdveccItNPagTsp43KUhjw1_VL7awOZc99piiTd9MHO4LfEV1qvrD7NVegEyfIrcZ6chqyoY1fJPFQn_5hbWoWlFaCBXPCtow/s1600/ANTM7.9+Montana+netball.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSsHUAcbiXH5PZZ9RVWu5G31EAYHokPJX_5h3ZTTdveccItNPagTsp43KUhjw1_VL7awOZc99piiTd9MHO4LfEV1qvrD7NVegEyfIrcZ6chqyoY1fJPFQn_5hbWoWlFaCBXPCtow/s400/ANTM7.9+Montana+netball.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A netball uniform. Not <i>that </i>shit, but in a televised modelling competition, not altogether useful in all situations.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKWUEmUL0KhWEEBdAt61OSOQvFuBfOui7H1LRXDGR6DmfOwexaF4exLpWpH4lT4Lo_IceaqppdROGnc7IR7qU91uu9HeljlpRalX3vOOAM1SFLcwb-0vB603Zz-W9L4SxY88H3bg/s1600/ANTM7.9+Izzy+donut+rings.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKWUEmUL0KhWEEBdAt61OSOQvFuBfOui7H1LRXDGR6DmfOwexaF4exLpWpH4lT4Lo_IceaqppdROGnc7IR7qU91uu9HeljlpRalX3vOOAM1SFLcwb-0vB603Zz-W9L4SxY88H3bg/s400/ANTM7.9+Izzy+donut+rings.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Donut rings. Sure, it’s actual jewellery, but it’s also a double-euphemism for ‘bum-hole’.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSngZ8HSnhrqNDakMEtc8TiCV3nSLrkeI15rmserzMd5Wjd-w9kBYVctXc3HaNNyVqXuuqZcrA5ifxLQWMRhwJbRBtjlW3TMoIsMBk6EpLnXcJ2hcxN65DS2J-viazGm-nrr_ZEA/s1600/ANTM7.9+Rachel+best+friend+bear.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSngZ8HSnhrqNDakMEtc8TiCV3nSLrkeI15rmserzMd5Wjd-w9kBYVctXc3HaNNyVqXuuqZcrA5ifxLQWMRhwJbRBtjlW3TMoIsMBk6EpLnXcJ2hcxN65DS2J-viazGm-nrr_ZEA/s400/ANTM7.9+Rachel+best+friend+bear.png" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A bear with a sign saying ‘Best Friends’. Sure, it might come in handy if anyone needs to vomit, but JESUS CHRIST, A BEST FRIENDS BEAR.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNk4hPYZuFGHiySH6GbF7VSZWfs86nijO6K1hikjIKbPrvOYuc0qI2aDSqQndc0X6w1m1XiV3LvtiiaZp4noTb0qPtI5S-3yjEQHEdtUSANGOsHgeFF1d07LhssH0wWGR97eIDXw/s1600/ANTM7.9+Hazel+coke+bottle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNk4hPYZuFGHiySH6GbF7VSZWfs86nijO6K1hikjIKbPrvOYuc0qI2aDSqQndc0X6w1m1XiV3LvtiiaZp4noTb0qPtI5S-3yjEQHEdtUSANGOsHgeFF1d07LhssH0wWGR97eIDXw/s400/ANTM7.9+Hazel+coke+bottle.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s a Coke bottle. It’s empty. It has, according to Hazel’s sister Kate, a picture of ‘Karl Lagerford’ on it. It is as useful and nostalgic as a dead raccoon with a thistle clenched in its buttocks.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Izzy and Zoe tell us that when they’re together, they’re grape and strawberry Hubba Bubba. I have a slightly different theory: that when Izzy and Zoe are together, they’re borderline retarded. Exhibits 1 and 2:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiktuU1CVUVdqpXkHxgAi1OO1P_oSqD9hrdJG_nJYZ5vHTY5G5ufKUbe1KJRObGj8AiR8yET-VqtEiShQsZycizer8V6H9_ZfBwpBbRMBXem8GPcH8azhCwQkR2e1infcVZyYpi4w/s1600/ANTM7.9+Izzy+Zoe+Mouse+ears.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiktuU1CVUVdqpXkHxgAi1OO1P_oSqD9hrdJG_nJYZ5vHTY5G5ufKUbe1KJRObGj8AiR8yET-VqtEiShQsZycizer8V6H9_ZfBwpBbRMBXem8GPcH8azhCwQkR2e1infcVZyYpi4w/s400/ANTM7.9+Izzy+Zoe+Mouse+ears.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3MV8-mstR2oje4Gtzvp7nbiTa0QV3HtCfWC1Fc2fPzqbojW1wbAO2kKIDMaNqgOOhwYcivF-Dw53hriwDYz0hpK6FScjxRpUOYetXXwRXwmmtng3ORmgOqFPJiEuF5JFboDngtA/s1600/ANTM7.9+Izzy+Zoe+bows.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3MV8-mstR2oje4Gtzvp7nbiTa0QV3HtCfWC1Fc2fPzqbojW1wbAO2kKIDMaNqgOOhwYcivF-Dw53hriwDYz0hpK6FScjxRpUOYetXXwRXwmmtng3ORmgOqFPJiEuF5JFboDngtA/s400/ANTM7.9+Izzy+Zoe+bows.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Liz’s secondary, lesser best friend Katy (my invitation probably just got lost, huh) smuggles in a letter from Liz’s boyfriend. It’s reasonable to say from the scrawled, smudged ramblings that Liz’s boyfriend is not currently taking time out from his PhD studies in order to write letters. Footage of the letter was fleeting, but I managed to get a screen-shot of it for you.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbrcOmS4_n5VCCA_1R_QL6jjllLE0JTL6qCR4Qt0rv1BsyeryWwKhJROafN9y-vJljVHSlhBOhy_p8yzAnfI7GP2Abkssyy9T9VLbaIEcDQeo0JXvS-HxUdpslVYwE47Zg061UnQ/s1600/ANTM7.9+Liz+boyrfriend+letter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbrcOmS4_n5VCCA_1R_QL6jjllLE0JTL6qCR4Qt0rv1BsyeryWwKhJROafN9y-vJljVHSlhBOhy_p8yzAnfI7GP2Abkssyy9T9VLbaIEcDQeo0JXvS-HxUdpslVYwE47Zg061UnQ/s400/ANTM7.9+Liz+boyrfriend+letter.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Touching.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The next morning, everyone hugs (again), says goodbye and piles into a mini-van, at which point there are two startling, life-changing revelations.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;"></div><ol><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span>Simone says “I felt a bit bad, cause like everyone was crying, and I didn’t cry. ‘Cause I wasn’t sad to like, say goodbye to my friend, because we’ve only got like, four weeks left”. Simone might actually be <i>wise</i>, you guys. Shift your paradigms, yo.</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span>THAT BACKGROUND SONG JUST SAID ‘GOODBYE, BROWN-EYE’. It did. I heard it. Submit your votes for this to replace that other thing as the elimination song. SUBMIT.</span></li>
</ol><!--[if !supportLists]--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Challenged.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A Sarah-Mail mentioning trash and treasure is digitally delivered to the debutantes, and Madeline guesses that it has something to do with drag queens, because logic what? Hahahahahaha.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Fashion Fiestas whisk the scrags to this week’s glamorous high-end locale, a rubbish dump, proving once again that most of the budget was spent on baguettes, chapeaux and Maurice Chevalier albums in Paris. Now, I hate to squeeze out a motif, but it’s uncanny how being IN a dump makes people look like they’re TAKING a dump. Don’t judge me. There’s EVIDENCE.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8LKnG6Jswg6M1x8ATMy-AQLZ3UM9O9gJdCx-0WXKjandm-AHrRbTO5RyYV-5yHjU5DMP7CXOOurz1hwdmJRyu3nbm17eM5m23IUcdPoG7riJGrMWb3Dfw-G24cCmFPh4Npsdj5w/s1600/ANTM7.9+Dump+face+liz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8LKnG6Jswg6M1x8ATMy-AQLZ3UM9O9gJdCx-0WXKjandm-AHrRbTO5RyYV-5yHjU5DMP7CXOOurz1hwdmJRyu3nbm17eM5m23IUcdPoG7riJGrMWb3Dfw-G24cCmFPh4Npsdj5w/s400/ANTM7.9+Dump+face+liz.jpg" width="330" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ew.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnX6zDqXzfS8hgg0aA0F4j5tsZIpdy6w67DVOxTQG0UwQ8FsyMRB66T5FGBytf5Wsba9eWPAIZn06hYV_EwXYHfwCiOhIelPeZ3yoRTqv0VrhQyL_f_xcMbiUN6veZP7n8nsdv4Q/s1600/ANTM7.9+Dump+face+Montana.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnX6zDqXzfS8hgg0aA0F4j5tsZIpdy6w67DVOxTQG0UwQ8FsyMRB66T5FGBytf5Wsba9eWPAIZn06hYV_EwXYHfwCiOhIelPeZ3yoRTqv0VrhQyL_f_xcMbiUN6veZP7n8nsdv4Q/s400/ANTM7.9+Dump+face+Montana.jpg" width="313" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Urgh.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu97dTQSG7SvgJEYB21uaK5WoO3VaqBWWQPH_SHwT9ENkxnrlKepCZYds06oAiTm289JCyt1daChoZ0BrFvQWmyI9DW9csbT_Z14mxu_4iciwUYbh59L2EYfE2QuaqSR3OR1MqnQ/s1600/ANTM7.9+Dump+face+Madeline.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="340" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu97dTQSG7SvgJEYB21uaK5WoO3VaqBWWQPH_SHwT9ENkxnrlKepCZYds06oAiTm289JCyt1daChoZ0BrFvQWmyI9DW9csbT_Z14mxu_4iciwUYbh59L2EYfE2QuaqSR3OR1MqnQ/s400/ANTM7.9+Dump+face+Madeline.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">HNNNNNNNNNNGGGG!</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A big rubbish-moving truck, no doubt fuelled by tentative relevance, hauls engine towards the modules and then suddenly vomits out Charlotte Dawson and emotional-range juggernaut and catwalk trainer Adam Williams. They explain to the girls that the challenge this week involves wearing recycled, sustainable outfits and wandering unfettered through the Strand Arcade. So we’re here, standing on piles of rubbish that, as Doik puts it, smells ‘like the whole world got gastro’, to be told that we’re going to be doing something else somewhere else. It’s like Christo wrapping the Sydney Harbour Bridge and then inviting people to the Opera House or, for the lowbrow amongst you, like the synopsis of an episode of Glee implying that it won’t be full of twenty-four-year-old auto-tuned arseholes over-emoting in wheelchairs and skirts.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Once at the Strand, the modules change into their recycled outfits (Simone hates hers) and we take a moment to study Adam Williams’ emotional range. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV2pOxD6STw-isXyTGuFjCQlE65rLC9l1pNnIKaSe0apM5M8AssJfqNqVa2brIZqra8MifJM7qiXc794ncSiQthw8-LoCueE4nzqH8Ca-5Yffp-KU5JX0luA8cdT1JhNj1lmztgQ/s1600/ANTM7.9+Adam+facial+movement1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV2pOxD6STw-isXyTGuFjCQlE65rLC9l1pNnIKaSe0apM5M8AssJfqNqVa2brIZqra8MifJM7qiXc794ncSiQthw8-LoCueE4nzqH8Ca-5Yffp-KU5JX0luA8cdT1JhNj1lmztgQ/s400/ANTM7.9+Adam+facial+movement1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Happy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz0-awVpP9KXj8h3cV70xE0sljtczapBup-UPDRcrIa8BfL_sYRQvZV1E_yiiHQ6GD2aUYqyXWYnFqtDbYk3-Y6qP7JkYv2tZfVbs7ThcBlzmNBWjmGymS-BzrNnOfzXBIFxJksQ/s1600/ANTM7.9+Adam+facial+movement2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz0-awVpP9KXj8h3cV70xE0sljtczapBup-UPDRcrIa8BfL_sYRQvZV1E_yiiHQ6GD2aUYqyXWYnFqtDbYk3-Y6qP7JkYv2tZfVbs7ThcBlzmNBWjmGymS-BzrNnOfzXBIFxJksQ/s400/ANTM7.9+Adam+facial+movement2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Angry.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaJzkIIVpRtxCyVwX6o-AFAOV9nyoM5kcBf9ujkTJWEE7aIic-aR6Mw54f8vaITbVFn2Sz9wJUm6rZKiXBZ_FvJyt6Wg7iz053JA_LtUUj5gYCB6CrqZ8kQK1_y9Hg8i0Sz8irtg/s1600/ANTM7.9+Adam+facial+movement3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaJzkIIVpRtxCyVwX6o-AFAOV9nyoM5kcBf9ujkTJWEE7aIic-aR6Mw54f8vaITbVFn2Sz9wJUm6rZKiXBZ_FvJyt6Wg7iz053JA_LtUUj5gYCB6CrqZ8kQK1_y9Hg8i0Sz8irtg/s400/ANTM7.9+Adam+facial+movement3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Excited.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6QZ1-24lxZorR30CKg9eo_monzzSI8sP80rR6QKJpJ7Ep1qm6QPTy1jn7TxFPCdoSsIxD36j-Nr8rgrPRj4h2MuHu4mk_KNabVXCcsC1c-cFEcUVvq9jbkOCwV_rhb-mavPzZkg/s1600/ANTM7.9+Adam+facial+movement4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6QZ1-24lxZorR30CKg9eo_monzzSI8sP80rR6QKJpJ7Ep1qm6QPTy1jn7TxFPCdoSsIxD36j-Nr8rgrPRj4h2MuHu4mk_KNabVXCcsC1c-cFEcUVvq9jbkOCwV_rhb-mavPzZkg/s400/ANTM7.9+Adam+facial+movement4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hungry for peanut butter toast in particular.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm3JZTzWeD03e4_vFfLuyccgdxy9xr9mgyP5UD_tAUbVxzro3O3OqPMMNZiTFQCjXLT3TV8x1cYtoUygIMLUCP9M1_dqt2LMZDuKCxfQPs4_KHk7SsJuRUTw9fXGjMRdpPjH30gA/s1600/ANTM7.9+Adam+facial+movement5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm3JZTzWeD03e4_vFfLuyccgdxy9xr9mgyP5UD_tAUbVxzro3O3OqPMMNZiTFQCjXLT3TV8x1cYtoUygIMLUCP9M1_dqt2LMZDuKCxfQPs4_KHk7SsJuRUTw9fXGjMRdpPjH30gA/s400/ANTM7.9+Adam+facial+movement5.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Letting you know that the building is on fire.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Hazel is dressed as a bin-liner frilled-neck lizard, and almost takes out a couple of pensioners while clearly flashing the coffee drinker behind her. No points.</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6tN3EZ5U4OFX5HsuekujAHik4r3-vtVXK1s5zwe2HVewogj9J_LJuRnUPCYsn6mKRyPkWHoXHBPddliDBO8vw5UNHUatDwyHtD3RuqL04m2qE06ELu1Aq8Mh7NxrK_K9aInfOXg/s1600/ANTM7.9+Hazel+frilled+neck+lizard+nana+boff.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6tN3EZ5U4OFX5HsuekujAHik4r3-vtVXK1s5zwe2HVewogj9J_LJuRnUPCYsn6mKRyPkWHoXHBPddliDBO8vw5UNHUatDwyHtD3RuqL04m2qE06ELu1Aq8Mh7NxrK_K9aInfOXg/s400/ANTM7.9+Hazel+frilled+neck+lizard+nana+boff.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's what I call double decaf.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Montana and Madeline are itchy and uncomfortable (no points) and Rachel lolls her head around drunkenly like she’s trying to find the straw in her bourbon and coke (no points).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Simone hates her outfit. She’d like you to know that. She’d like you to know it a <i>lot</i>. She says that she feels like a prisoner who works on a farm, and that there’s a reason that nobody wears garbage. I dunno....</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3OkD5tCUEjqUfDpB8HoSk-PtQwYO_Mcv2dpMUyocXzyp3ONTsI-bapvYESzXSS7Hg3FF8IgdE86Ui56QYEdoqyVm-plX31VNFu1xy2mpSxx-4uHqAWblQR88sJyAZQ8xi4M-ldg/s1600/ANTM7.9+Simone+Pumpkin+Pants.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3OkD5tCUEjqUfDpB8HoSk-PtQwYO_Mcv2dpMUyocXzyp3ONTsI-bapvYESzXSS7Hg3FF8IgdE86Ui56QYEdoqyVm-plX31VNFu1xy2mpSxx-4uHqAWblQR88sJyAZQ8xi4M-ldg/s400/ANTM7.9+Simone+Pumpkin+Pants.jpg" width="347" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I think she looks like a Barbie doll shitting a chilli.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Liz is concerned and says “I’m not sure if I’ve improved in my catwalk. I hope I can still put one foot in front of the other”. It would be easier to mock her if she wasn’t wearing these, basically making her taller than God:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Qvb5bf6-hU7seWSXx9DQJxXTOLedTbozRIJgA5JqsSZZjOuCkc9V2OXQgH_hxM08HLM5ZSJ8IgszWIBOeAf2QWXtYhTSszLzcOmxyuuHJ-20plNv-pFAJar-JoziJGN94n4U-g/s1600/antm7.9+Liz+honey+shoes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Qvb5bf6-hU7seWSXx9DQJxXTOLedTbozRIJgA5JqsSZZjOuCkc9V2OXQgH_hxM08HLM5ZSJ8IgszWIBOeAf2QWXtYhTSszLzcOmxyuuHJ-20plNv-pFAJar-JoziJGN94n4U-g/s400/antm7.9+Liz+honey+shoes.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">But I have a strict policy about mocking girls walking on small buildings made of lava.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Speaking of shoes, Izzy is wearing these, which I must own immediately. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6R77DOmDLtGeCqd4iEt-Rmz5w76oA2brejkiQnxsD7XLsL-5o6AEKoaKnTArx0Mf6or8ISHHl1GEi0MnsuBI3_vcdHYgiHamVmdP1yw-HoqvCaktJvfZHG9Vq5XSTCC-MfVrkyQ/s1600/ANTM7.9+Izzy+wig+shoes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="363" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6R77DOmDLtGeCqd4iEt-Rmz5w76oA2brejkiQnxsD7XLsL-5o6AEKoaKnTArx0Mf6or8ISHHl1GEi0MnsuBI3_vcdHYgiHamVmdP1yw-HoqvCaktJvfZHG9Vq5XSTCC-MfVrkyQ/s400/ANTM7.9+Izzy+wig+shoes.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">TEN POINTS.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Izzy’s whole outfit is made from recycled wigs, because of course, once those things get into the waterways the little dolphins get tangled in them and end up looking like Mardi Gras float leaders for the rest of their lives. It’s cruel. “I have a wig collection!” she says. YES, AND YOUR BOYFRIEND HAS COFFINS AND YOU HAVE TEETH IN YOUR HAIR AND DONUTS ON YOUR FINGERS. The kook. It lives. We know. Still, she rocks the makeshift catwalk hard by modelling with her hands...</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnIEvcgmO7txKlX5CX0sCM1dRf8ltP0LOh6GwYXq-Wnwqu5asX5wrXqePNAjkhhOmurpYZNmt1Jew3w_dDGCaf3gLIpl7r_JObswFXvLoaqqSDt9esnPU4usN6uXNfQNH0uXLIIQ/s1600/ANTM7.9+Izzy+hand+modelling+big+trouble.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnIEvcgmO7txKlX5CX0sCM1dRf8ltP0LOh6GwYXq-Wnwqu5asX5wrXqePNAjkhhOmurpYZNmt1Jew3w_dDGCaf3gLIpl7r_JObswFXvLoaqqSDt9esnPU4usN6uXNfQNH0uXLIIQ/s320/ANTM7.9+Izzy+hand+modelling+big+trouble.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And looking a little bit like that cranky violent guy from Big Trouble In Little China.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig5AktuGcSBCRrAD_VRsbbdy_dUyN5vJKwheKmuLfoQOvg2rm5KwUmCzVdLfZFsO4UnoGzxD_RZxIdaiNhdODFkkFkvDcrrf3feUAHxg8fnrSJ5pQHzN4RC0PKPyWxAzK-eHwgsg/s1600/ANTM7.9+Izzy+big+trouble+in+little+china.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig5AktuGcSBCRrAD_VRsbbdy_dUyN5vJKwheKmuLfoQOvg2rm5KwUmCzVdLfZFsO4UnoGzxD_RZxIdaiNhdODFkkFkvDcrrf3feUAHxg8fnrSJ5pQHzN4RC0PKPyWxAzK-eHwgsg/s400/ANTM7.9+Izzy+big+trouble+in+little+china.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Is all in refrexes.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After a few more rubbish-related puns, Charlotte and Adam announce that Izzy wins the challenge, which is $500 for her favourite charity. She talks about how important it is to give back to the community, which I know <i>sounds</i> interesting, but I’m momentarily distracted by my other policy to not make fun of people giving to charities. Thanks. Thanks a lot.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Phoy-Toy Shoot</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A photo of a paintbrush arrives by Sarah-Mail, which the modules all assume is associated with nudity. Stay in school, kids. Stay in school.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The girls go to Luxe studios to be met by Josh Brigitte Flinn Nielsen, who just can’t get you out of his head. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEei_k4VPMmZ2qLw8dyMdLMnW8AR3KXSApvaPVZgLuM82iCirj5zU2YqfpLJiV9fCgpP5OOn2fW9kEzr6AwamjhNxGClcsFEYJ8Jxl_PjtnJwmXJn00Eox2ZJyK7g8HWZb7jCiIg/s1600/ANTM7.8+Brigitte.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEei_k4VPMmZ2qLw8dyMdLMnW8AR3KXSApvaPVZgLuM82iCirj5zU2YqfpLJiV9fCgpP5OOn2fW9kEzr6AwamjhNxGClcsFEYJ8Jxl_PjtnJwmXJn00Eox2ZJyK7g8HWZb7jCiIg/s400/ANTM7.8+Brigitte.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Boy, it's more than I dare to think about.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He introduces Simon Upton, who in my imagination just can’t get me out of his pants, and he tells the scrags that they’ll have no clothes to hide behind in today’s shoot – just great big globs of hot pink paint and a - what’s the collective term for male models? A <i>straining crotch</i> of male models.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You know how girls react if they’ve been starved of male contact and are about to get into their undies and a trough of paint in front of three hot blokes?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1UlAir7RKb1rpo4bWs7dMUG1NbMmsrWsbn5nAeLgTJYLkNr2RwLpw-Tpln6a2gByrRF6a1ZKooNIaJRfzE2Pez1FDFfytaN4rbk0aKC22dfv6NMlKAQgx-QiPtnaS3Z0GIF3Z6g/s1600/ANTM7.9+Male+models+montana.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1UlAir7RKb1rpo4bWs7dMUG1NbMmsrWsbn5nAeLgTJYLkNr2RwLpw-Tpln6a2gByrRF6a1ZKooNIaJRfzE2Pez1FDFfytaN4rbk0aKC22dfv6NMlKAQgx-QiPtnaS3Z0GIF3Z6g/s400/ANTM7.9+Male+models+montana.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXVqJZP0w13tdgm_D4IwTWf5Y05lLi_hzXGgbKCWY5b_p-4ubBxDOIgbuSPHlWhBqoq4J5oQzeyGMdEWe7uop2282HSfi4NQcoxcEUpjPwwFuCgDk0nLbPTLsC8Qv4C05fz_i1bA/s1600/ANTM7.9+Male+models+Simone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXVqJZP0w13tdgm_D4IwTWf5Y05lLi_hzXGgbKCWY5b_p-4ubBxDOIgbuSPHlWhBqoq4J5oQzeyGMdEWe7uop2282HSfi4NQcoxcEUpjPwwFuCgDk0nLbPTLsC8Qv4C05fz_i1bA/s400/ANTM7.9+Male+models+Simone.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's right. Blow-Job face and Hand-Job hand.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, I’m not going to lie. The styling for this shoot looks like it’s going to be fucking horrible.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCVqJPUAUk7p0lC3kMZsybpx-_KcJWEc7GGfIgOTUwpQXYrjrYeS1Fxfy0AiBX9cr5x2Prm_6BxZrZgbBfrLJTlQrPqptvvgkVAq9ED1VmODdUKvbioctnP9RcCA8ik37M14hdfw/s1600/ANTM7.9+Fugly+styling+Rachel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCVqJPUAUk7p0lC3kMZsybpx-_KcJWEc7GGfIgOTUwpQXYrjrYeS1Fxfy0AiBX9cr5x2Prm_6BxZrZgbBfrLJTlQrPqptvvgkVAq9ED1VmODdUKvbioctnP9RcCA8ik37M14hdfw/s400/ANTM7.9+Fugly+styling+Rachel.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu-a5b88gOA2HXTsbNNb6-IVUnkxN7lKcRhkhk2q673dDipt-3PG3WsOJzoBtQfqa0XHfsf-Alx8dNs-2y2u53s9rvtXSYABIJiO1agOKtyws8RRhvMicd6PemIFElW4pA7K9a5Q/s1600/ANTM7.9+Fugly+styling+simone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu-a5b88gOA2HXTsbNNb6-IVUnkxN7lKcRhkhk2q673dDipt-3PG3WsOJzoBtQfqa0XHfsf-Alx8dNs-2y2u53s9rvtXSYABIJiO1agOKtyws8RRhvMicd6PemIFElW4pA7K9a5Q/s400/ANTM7.9+Fugly+styling+simone.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3kKM40OexxrTx0FIqPVyA1yzIS3RNXrX0q-YQvXlMOlC45yIphR2mYrTu6f5kdlBjx8J__KZFt-LKIKVxPaleYtzAqLyoW4tMPTxAhYLn_Y4S2bg0TMYaLOL58tC7Xs0GV3KfRQ/s1600/ANTM7.9+Fugly+styling+Izzy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3kKM40OexxrTx0FIqPVyA1yzIS3RNXrX0q-YQvXlMOlC45yIphR2mYrTu6f5kdlBjx8J__KZFt-LKIKVxPaleYtzAqLyoW4tMPTxAhYLn_Y4S2bg0TMYaLOL58tC7Xs0GV3KfRQ/s400/ANTM7.9+Fugly+styling+Izzy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But then, after a little bit of this:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPeAP1Tra2PlF2RaoMDkBljEkh0eB2gw2YGRCoyIl_80-8htluB7ccfrHOjBJQLv402N3-L1gK6-Jj17_nJvF7rhTSLK7d0gnhQQ2qICuVtJnCehu8HoA-K14Bg9P7lk6IyFDdGA/s1600/ANTM7.9+Paint+vat+simone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPeAP1Tra2PlF2RaoMDkBljEkh0eB2gw2YGRCoyIl_80-8htluB7ccfrHOjBJQLv402N3-L1gK6-Jj17_nJvF7rhTSLK7d0gnhQQ2qICuVtJnCehu8HoA-K14Bg9P7lk6IyFDdGA/s400/ANTM7.9+Paint+vat+simone.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It becomes the most jaw-droppingly amazing photo shoot in the history of the world ever. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAbIZW7z8mQYeeSWy8-iT1EqpjW3Wq4EFHNPJkDuthekjgEPy8vezp5artI3SyeDeKPic9Jh5cwIxi0wTGU6ZEG-wKDqqRz0tAvkzKI-4qsVJvg9vVuPAMaViEKl8j3sJ5ZQB4Kw/s1600/ANTM7.9+Shut+up+best+shoot+ever+Simone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAbIZW7z8mQYeeSWy8-iT1EqpjW3Wq4EFHNPJkDuthekjgEPy8vezp5artI3SyeDeKPic9Jh5cwIxi0wTGU6ZEG-wKDqqRz0tAvkzKI-4qsVJvg9vVuPAMaViEKl8j3sJ5ZQB4Kw/s400/ANTM7.9+Shut+up+best+shoot+ever+Simone.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV8ZiLaZXTh806qaNGpqXY1mz9H4EttD_tAlSKu2Hz1oRrO-33PZ0wDF-tlz5l2hBWzqJo-cS0PLfEqVL0iGnDyWBDaZtlBaG602dGhCwgq9eLjhPzajKwQkLt5o5FZtB8xrvbbg/s1600/ANTM7.9+Shut+up+best+shoot+ever+Rachel.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV8ZiLaZXTh806qaNGpqXY1mz9H4EttD_tAlSKu2Hz1oRrO-33PZ0wDF-tlz5l2hBWzqJo-cS0PLfEqVL0iGnDyWBDaZtlBaG602dGhCwgq9eLjhPzajKwQkLt5o5FZtB8xrvbbg/s400/ANTM7.9+Shut+up+best+shoot+ever+Rachel.png" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBgG5ZABy-BpV9pLufc4BBPBOTNREzXqcEBOlk3m6J6PrQCKJ-7p1ycizOo5IXtHqdXm0ztvKBdsFAWKMXuDYkwHQF8ycic7rQeUbYUTUN5m_sc8FJe2nwTvljD7RrnNtlZF0-gA/s1600/ANTM7.9+Shut+up+best+shoot+ever+Izzy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBgG5ZABy-BpV9pLufc4BBPBOTNREzXqcEBOlk3m6J6PrQCKJ-7p1ycizOo5IXtHqdXm0ztvKBdsFAWKMXuDYkwHQF8ycic7rQeUbYUTUN5m_sc8FJe2nwTvljD7RrnNtlZF0-gA/s400/ANTM7.9+Shut+up+best+shoot+ever+Izzy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk5FkWU80LQiJkgRSuhlozraVQ_9wjL-EjPvnZJ-gROgPMiqSAF71mcWiCyCBasPV-lmk1GrYTZ3oOXnhLN1fZv71FIvnZhUkNeVw0Kp1Hwn3KTvGbMS9TZjj_UzRBi_bFQ80RZw/s1600/ANTM7.9+Shut+up+best+shoot+ever+Hazel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk5FkWU80LQiJkgRSuhlozraVQ_9wjL-EjPvnZJ-gROgPMiqSAF71mcWiCyCBasPV-lmk1GrYTZ3oOXnhLN1fZv71FIvnZhUkNeVw0Kp1Hwn3KTvGbMS9TZjj_UzRBi_bFQ80RZw/s400/ANTM7.9+Shut+up+best+shoot+ever+Hazel.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4euvyVdyAylh0VjMafv9u4z_jjrxRdvE8VYsyQCy2JXqdE88to-5pJsIOJx0HI2rfR4ndmgZDnEOJGsVjN6kZt6yXGc3fg_Uv9Ff4oHOlnmmk62fWdNWXi4l1z_bOVfTYSIoL5g/s1600/ANTM7.9+Shut+up+best+shoot+ever+Liz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4euvyVdyAylh0VjMafv9u4z_jjrxRdvE8VYsyQCy2JXqdE88to-5pJsIOJx0HI2rfR4ndmgZDnEOJGsVjN6kZt6yXGc3fg_Uv9Ff4oHOlnmmk62fWdNWXi4l1z_bOVfTYSIoL5g/s400/ANTM7.9+Shut+up+best+shoot+ever+Liz.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoe0HVlfNj16AJe_aJcZW3HBvfGC8c7JVAsolWMDHXSxZot15JrpoKcjSPJGmdo943NX53-cJc1_h46xyx7dvShhg9Mjdk1iVr3h6iN4rcoQYcGvTDt1dritN-woAXAMmFig0u2A/s1600/ANTM7.9+Shut+up+best+shoot+ever+Madeline.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoe0HVlfNj16AJe_aJcZW3HBvfGC8c7JVAsolWMDHXSxZot15JrpoKcjSPJGmdo943NX53-cJc1_h46xyx7dvShhg9Mjdk1iVr3h6iN4rcoQYcGvTDt1dritN-woAXAMmFig0u2A/s400/ANTM7.9+Shut+up+best+shoot+ever+Madeline.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFeON4v9V6ZLSlarYqTap4pxyur7zo28emm-Q-uQpcMlHh_Yq7O-9Z0tmdz3HoPmGnzP9mHWa2CkYsP2vJJM1OlqH5JmN7pL9wG94nuoskxr0kldJOhzmeSNr04K5lpQ46HhaQuw/s1600/ANTM7.9+Shut+up+best+shoot+ever+Montana.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFeON4v9V6ZLSlarYqTap4pxyur7zo28emm-Q-uQpcMlHh_Yq7O-9Z0tmdz3HoPmGnzP9mHWa2CkYsP2vJJM1OlqH5JmN7pL9wG94nuoskxr0kldJOhzmeSNr04K5lpQ46HhaQuw/s400/ANTM7.9+Shut+up+best+shoot+ever+Montana.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">SHUT. Pause. UP.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Doik Simone calls the styling ‘granny chic’, and then comments that the paint feels ‘really thick and weird’, which is <i>such</i> a coincidence, because that’s exactly how I’d describe Doik Simone.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rachel tells us that she has quite strong personal beliefs, then almost slips over and gurns her way awkwardly through her shoot. WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW, PINKY McSTUMBLES. She mentions that pink is her favourite colour (SHUT UP, NO WAY) and then thanks photographer Simon. Thank you, Simon. Thanks. No, really, ta. Thanks for being all hot and hairy and stuff. Call me.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Izzy says she feels like a big strawberry thickshake, then lifts her leg until it looks like the male model is photographing her... er... ‘strawberry thickshake’. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hazel unexpectedly brings it, Liz laughs adorably because she’s so pleased to be my best friend, and Montana is just disgustingly, bullshittingly gorgeous. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Best. Shoot. Ever. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So good I’m clutching at my imaginary pearls. And at Simon Upton’s imaginary groin a little bit.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eliminationosity</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After briskly skimming across the prizes, which I think this year include a lifetime supply of Mini Babybel chesses and a tricycle, the modules stomp into the Eliminarium. Saint Sarah greets them, still puffed from running all the way here from a meeting of the Benevolent Society For Bitch Bloggers Who Can’t Make Fun Of Real Charities, and introduces the judges: Charlotte Dawson, who is dressed today as a triple-preserved Queen Nefertiti, Shiny Alex Perry, dressed today in the same goddamn black shirt he’s worn every single episode yet somehow infinitesimally shinier and squintier, and Simon Upton, who is, unfortunately, dressed today.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The judges look through the amazing, amazing photos, and all agree that Simone looks ‘expensive’. She responds joyously with “I can’t believe I’ve lived seventeen years of being cheap, and now I’m expensive!’, which elicits this response from Dawson:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvfph4Gr22w_jTNiAkb6Rlt7MHtITCFDSvgz_HO_tyfpgJ_sGXDY5v8apClwgvQpXztGQ5Ow09FYeLeLxhuO_8L4Zad0QN2iYQG6ZY75ps-BjurMVVK7kaEqI1YVVW5JQcyq5b_w/s1600/ANTM7.9+Dawson+shocked.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvfph4Gr22w_jTNiAkb6Rlt7MHtITCFDSvgz_HO_tyfpgJ_sGXDY5v8apClwgvQpXztGQ5Ow09FYeLeLxhuO_8L4Zad0QN2iYQG6ZY75ps-BjurMVVK7kaEqI1YVVW5JQcyq5b_w/s400/ANTM7.9+Dawson+shocked.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And this response from the Magic Psychic Desk:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdY61u91N3Fbtn9xnxxaNcSIC_7nuRkBtWiqa1mSVmBLCDuMsNpireHQM8a4tUHecwQ_anfcSZMmhlZj3N1AQCJL5TH2ycOu4pQdsdUGIaAPaOHb6aPSndhbr2eDoMgMoqnfGHcQ/s1600/antm7.9+magic+psychic+desk1+calm+down.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdY61u91N3Fbtn9xnxxaNcSIC_7nuRkBtWiqa1mSVmBLCDuMsNpireHQM8a4tUHecwQ_anfcSZMmhlZj3N1AQCJL5TH2ycOu4pQdsdUGIaAPaOHb6aPSndhbr2eDoMgMoqnfGHcQ/s400/antm7.9+magic+psychic+desk1+calm+down.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Perry and Dawson have a number of minor arguments, at which point Shiny Alex advises Dawson to ‘loosen your weave, honey’, which I’m including in my general insult vocabulary from now on, the second I find out what it means. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When Hazel’s incredible shot is screened, Dawson declares that her new name is “Amazel”, causing the Magic Psychic Desk to show its support.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirin5rgBpG8wH7ZYlVFt_1Qu6chne_494uQWyUSmMBnVG2IVS-MdPZr_InC5KfXkjFccmyrRgpDeNVKQFtuKcna-V1sxSNi8uvF-Fx34oSvrb8JXW1sNQcP4z4b-axJlU7EHTQdw/s1600/ANTM7.9+Magic+psychic+desk2+Pun+Zing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirin5rgBpG8wH7ZYlVFt_1Qu6chne_494uQWyUSmMBnVG2IVS-MdPZr_InC5KfXkjFccmyrRgpDeNVKQFtuKcna-V1sxSNi8uvF-Fx34oSvrb8JXW1sNQcP4z4b-axJlU7EHTQdw/s400/ANTM7.9+Magic+psychic+desk2+Pun+Zing.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Liz’s photo is of course stunning, but Dawson is more interested in her Elimination attire. “You’ve taken your fashion cues today from Bindi Irwin – you’ve been at those crimping irons and you’ve got that safari look happening”, she comments. Magic Psychic Desk says:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBB5nJ4AejhwXbzF423tPApTVeFlYPs8JNAQzfOZbslvUzotJOxxPJ-N_Hffw_7utXDAWMURl8GwjObWOxJQAErgQtTfbWjBG76YZwmi7RzAfJyYfYR3-Svcgba5n4lC-jyVf5Jw/s1600/ANTM7.9+Magic+psychic+desk3+rebuttal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBB5nJ4AejhwXbzF423tPApTVeFlYPs8JNAQzfOZbslvUzotJOxxPJ-N_Hffw_7utXDAWMURl8GwjObWOxJQAErgQtTfbWjBG76YZwmi7RzAfJyYfYR3-Svcgba5n4lC-jyVf5Jw/s400/ANTM7.9+Magic+psychic+desk3+rebuttal.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I love you, Magic Psychic Desk.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Girls tromp out, arguments are heated, girls tromp back in, and everyone is picked off one by one. Hazel gets photo of the week, and the whittling continues until only Izzy and Madeline remain.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Four eons pass, and Maddie is shown the door. She can almost see it through her heavy eyeliner and mascara, too. BYE, MADDIE! I’ll miss you like a pair of sand-damaged suede shoes.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And at the risk of sounding like Rachel, thank you, Madeline. Thanks. Really. Thanks for calling Charlotte “Granny Tranny”, hence facilitating the future nickname of Ms Dawson from this day forward. I bow to you. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">******</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yes, it’s the ninth verse of the country-song-with-no-chorus-but-one-verse-per-episode. People instructing me to get a life may kindly and swiftly get a rat up ya.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Aaaand iiiffff</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Charity’s your thing, have a girl’s night in – here’s your mates with luggage lugging;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They’ll bring gifts you hate then you’ll stay up late and spend most of your time hugging.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now it’s off to the tip where you’ll soon get hip to the challenge that awaits you</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Get your body wrapped in recycled crap, Simone I think your outfit hates you.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bet you’d never think you’d be painted pink – swim around in that big trough now;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But it’s the best shoot yet and it’s going to get really hard to vote one off now.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But vote off they must, and the general thrust is that Madeline’s a goner.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Once the sprayed-on face, now she’s lost her place ‘cause there’s too much make up on her.</span></div>Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-24635442159849489542011-09-26T21:32:00.000+10:002011-09-26T21:32:35.217+10:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven #8<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I haven’t seen this much drama on television since <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBj9ZOItWLk&feature=related">MarshaBrady got hit in the nose with a football.</a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpzdK9ULOw3-m7qEJ8FgcF7wn-jy7hwrVx3y06T4HOjx1CB5UqG0eweo6gCxfIjpdPEoKFcta3I9QAq9ipC7PyercDGCVPnTYpEZ_temc85otqPqCdK3B8oCsR6za4ia_aYalXdw/s1600/ANTM7.8+Marcia+Brady+football+nose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpzdK9ULOw3-m7qEJ8FgcF7wn-jy7hwrVx3y06T4HOjx1CB5UqG0eweo6gCxfIjpdPEoKFcta3I9QAq9ipC7PyercDGCVPnTYpEZ_temc85otqPqCdK3B8oCsR6za4ia_aYalXdw/s400/ANTM7.8+Marcia+Brady+football+nose.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There goes her date with Doug.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Smear on the greasepaint, get ready for your close-up and write the scene number clearly in chalk on that clapper thing that you write on in chalk, because it’s the ‘Like Scrags Through The Hourglass’ episode of <i>Australia’s Next Top Model</i>.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">******</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’d like to start with a little housekeeping.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Firstly, you need to know that when they play that little snippet of the ANTM theme song just before every ad break, you can increase your fun by 25% if, like my housemates and I do, you emphasise the concluding aspirant. I’m gonna be on top-PAAAAAAH. You may trust me on that point.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Secondly, since you saw them last, Madeline and Izzy have morphed into grossly stereotypical Jewish mothers.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFQfwLuCfHmb3QJ7JRLg-Wx_w2DhnY0uiIEiY7HI55dRX8O_10XOfRA5mRzw9aws_BzNM3y-_ELZ1LBkv02s4iCVDbxfN6mkymifhNc-W5Uc-dhoLxMLZx0AYlDhzFCC02yLaFLw/s1600/ANTM7.8+Maddie+bad+hair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="328" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFQfwLuCfHmb3QJ7JRLg-Wx_w2DhnY0uiIEiY7HI55dRX8O_10XOfRA5mRzw9aws_BzNM3y-_ELZ1LBkv02s4iCVDbxfN6mkymifhNc-W5Uc-dhoLxMLZx0AYlDhzFCC02yLaFLw/s400/ANTM7.8+Maddie+bad+hair.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Why can't you just find a nice doctor and settle down? Why you gotta break your mother's heart like this?</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8hKN3P1enbgjdaSF-_nHn952QslsFi-PJHWSNnD6hdM0_VGAowc15UFQc_oUu83vt-vZV32fNRcbzR6da0iXq8xY0fjgGIo-prz8AGCkOrBjsg_TlV0dvumQuI3GbKVhgcH75RQ/s1600/ANTM7.8+Izzy+Jewish+mother.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8hKN3P1enbgjdaSF-_nHn952QslsFi-PJHWSNnD6hdM0_VGAowc15UFQc_oUu83vt-vZV32fNRcbzR6da0iXq8xY0fjgGIo-prz8AGCkOrBjsg_TlV0dvumQuI3GbKVhgcH75RQ/s400/ANTM7.8+Izzy+Jewish+mother.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I should drop DEAD you'd remember to call me on my birthday.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rachel’s Phoy-Toy-Of-The-Week is up on the wall of the Module Mansion to a mixed reception. Liz thinks it’s beautiful. Jess doesn’t really get what the judges see in Rachel. Montana is pensive. Doik Simone is HEY LOOK A CAMERA!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie13YxplWupeq0iFFKYZ8AmlDQ6CPZxA6WAQgpRk4-n5GXH2iFybDY23qj3QYfG9ECy5scrbBB28iplOjm4Vwkwj7p7lg3DhkQ1gsEOvLCnuyMDNSas8d6LsleZq1cvIaUDV-61Q/s1600/ANTM7.8+Simone+hates+photo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie13YxplWupeq0iFFKYZ8AmlDQ6CPZxA6WAQgpRk4-n5GXH2iFybDY23qj3QYfG9ECy5scrbBB28iplOjm4Vwkwj7p7lg3DhkQ1gsEOvLCnuyMDNSas8d6LsleZq1cvIaUDV-61Q/s400/ANTM7.8+Simone+hates+photo.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Learnment</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A Sarah Mail dripping with drama arrives, whisking the scrags off in a Fashion Fiesta cavalcade to NIDA, which stands for ‘Now I’m Doing Acting!’. Charlotte Dawson meets them and introduces actress Anna Houston, who will be taking them through some improvisation exercises. She warns the modules that there’s a chance they’ll look ridiculous. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXBCZfN-JDwQic6Yc9rrLh0A66nbCJUsEyB8P7ptXMgjTinM9h8PSpRYwrRru2QFK8IX8opFg8dyKT__QV2xUxYhdFibqxs0NtQtR1uBJ1pD1ZWN6QRWm2cCMIHlE7uBea15FCSw/s1600/ANTM7.2+Caroline+Fuzzy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXBCZfN-JDwQic6Yc9rrLh0A66nbCJUsEyB8P7ptXMgjTinM9h8PSpRYwrRru2QFK8IX8opFg8dyKT__QV2xUxYhdFibqxs0NtQtR1uBJ1pD1ZWN6QRWm2cCMIHlE7uBea15FCSw/s400/ANTM7.2+Caroline+Fuzzy.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah, no, that's fine.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Amelia’s excited about the lesson, and says “This is definitely a good week to take risks”. Let’s see how that works out for you in particular, shall we honey?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The first improvisation game is called ‘Excuse Me, What Are You Doing?’. Apparently there are some rules to the game, but really all you need to know is that Izzy gives birth to a dog, and I love this show so much I want to smell it on my pillow.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipoaHnX4Nqf-mUCzFmFZAkOHbMXm6nrYkxha7pV2imlvWNWP745Wds_45tWRqo-t0AJn07ZvXp7TJMrjBgbpoHqqqezmAhYfPMLX7eJjkvPnTOEQ8vU51szJxRnO2hnlfaLO4BlA/s1600/ANTM7.8+Izzy+birthing+dog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipoaHnX4Nqf-mUCzFmFZAkOHbMXm6nrYkxha7pV2imlvWNWP745Wds_45tWRqo-t0AJn07ZvXp7TJMrjBgbpoHqqqezmAhYfPMLX7eJjkvPnTOEQ8vU51szJxRnO2hnlfaLO4BlA/s400/ANTM7.8+Izzy+birthing+dog.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nurse, we're going to need an epidural and some kibbles.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The next game involves Actress Anna counting to ten while five of the modules run the emotional gamut from ‘totes fine’ to ‘OMG I broke a nail’. It’s harrowing, to say the least.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja6oivKy3BJzAYb93DJenkOsP5bfZtys3lKKanSzDD1xQCxqLvla660XmujQEMxDPYPahwLRr4NSrjKnO2r95cbbfHH1_BX5cKEVZbX3DMyoLOHJ2jOyVX7LA4fgciAcLLF9EAbA/s1600/antm7.8+Izzy+crying.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja6oivKy3BJzAYb93DJenkOsP5bfZtys3lKKanSzDD1xQCxqLvla660XmujQEMxDPYPahwLRr4NSrjKnO2r95cbbfHH1_BX5cKEVZbX3DMyoLOHJ2jOyVX7LA4fgciAcLLF9EAbA/s400/antm7.8+Izzy+crying.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I can't <i>believe</i> I forgot to wear teeth in my hair today.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Izzy has a remarkable talent for grief, and tells us that “I can cry on cue. Not all the time, only sometimes”. I dunno, Izzy, I’ve just consulted the <i>Big Dictionamary Of Awsome Wordz</i>, and it wants to have a little chat with you about the definition of ‘on cue’.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Speaking of words, some of my favourites all in a row are “Except you’ve got a really extreme body tic”, particularly as it relates to the next acting game. Set in a train carriage, each module acts out their wildest fitting fantasies, carefully making sure to maintain their beauty, composure and poise at all times.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje96z-Mn5HtY7HXhPk6UeRmsOiuoaOhh9MVtnwJ-uL1Q_jHVmlpN_hXGmhLTXtKRuq7EYvmlzZvplDsQOpeQDOt-2erCLSPCdKynAV_MlKaSsgSq3LAZOpMmn7DZ0exafhDmdE5Q/s1600/ANTM7.8+Maddie+tic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje96z-Mn5HtY7HXhPk6UeRmsOiuoaOhh9MVtnwJ-uL1Q_jHVmlpN_hXGmhLTXtKRuq7EYvmlzZvplDsQOpeQDOt-2erCLSPCdKynAV_MlKaSsgSq3LAZOpMmn7DZ0exafhDmdE5Q/s400/ANTM7.8+Maddie+tic.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLa8dlRZRAsfbnHwbPTeRCFOsQS7Se_Ai-tDByCUIWfoR8hIRcIv8OzqVDkWckDzI-whyphenhyphenMcq0YmiN6huoa0g2Cg0wVi9hptLpnriI00kbeZeTRFmM7yRx79CbbOFXAaFU9z73RqA/s1600/ANTM7.8+Hazel+blurry+train.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLa8dlRZRAsfbnHwbPTeRCFOsQS7Se_Ai-tDByCUIWfoR8hIRcIv8OzqVDkWckDzI-whyphenhyphenMcq0YmiN6huoa0g2Cg0wVi9hptLpnriI00kbeZeTRFmM7yRx79CbbOFXAaFU9z73RqA/s400/ANTM7.8+Hazel+blurry+train.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOUb6cRcp9qyDg5a2VDIa0FxmTIGT5yfHslAhDU6yBXiCwRoUm5E2O8Y1YKmqXbZl_pdvcf6cYD0L3mZBK7WhcO4TdBVVd2gr7BpixjXGWYBwqa5tIAfb_mxW2PsDewny-Y0FQDw/s1600/ANTM7.8+Amelia+Tic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOUb6cRcp9qyDg5a2VDIa0FxmTIGT5yfHslAhDU6yBXiCwRoUm5E2O8Y1YKmqXbZl_pdvcf6cYD0L3mZBK7WhcO4TdBVVd2gr7BpixjXGWYBwqa5tIAfb_mxW2PsDewny-Y0FQDw/s400/ANTM7.8+Amelia+Tic.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawson congratulates them on their amazing dog-birthing, crying and Tourette’s Syndrome skills before handing them each a script and insisting that they practice, prompting an editor’s orgy of sepia-toned, slow-mo soap opera references.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">ACT ONE, SCENE ONE: THE THREE STAGES OF TOILETING.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaUifHQmnQ4ndt21ImbsNvfwyrnyE71E-YeQnKgS4gSGe1_8mMjFf9JLQPK1tQIh2Uo2597L8cfrx1noB3ERm4LW6QXs3tZ5Rk-7usV6qszs8iz3iroGj4n9tlqK1DmqOfSf4ecA/s1600/ANTM7.8+Montana+days+of+our+lives.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaUifHQmnQ4ndt21ImbsNvfwyrnyE71E-YeQnKgS4gSGe1_8mMjFf9JLQPK1tQIh2Uo2597L8cfrx1noB3ERm4LW6QXs3tZ5Rk-7usV6qszs8iz3iroGj4n9tlqK1DmqOfSf4ecA/s400/ANTM7.8+Montana+days+of+our+lives.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">1. Oh, god. Oh god, that burrito isn't sitting well at ALL.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzrIkjy85Gf_xqCuw6CM7nfNgMNEsE_P_N6vPOOVCIlyrLM5Ldu_KFL1Mt788azHZLVB3smRA7tr2VUf-1ZuTEMRO1iLuBa9D7KeODH8y0_Dm7vb7cBjFlle50DrPR9OMGQA3sVQ/s1600/ANTM7.8+Jess+constipated.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzrIkjy85Gf_xqCuw6CM7nfNgMNEsE_P_N6vPOOVCIlyrLM5Ldu_KFL1Mt788azHZLVB3smRA7tr2VUf-1ZuTEMRO1iLuBa9D7KeODH8y0_Dm7vb7cBjFlle50DrPR9OMGQA3sVQ/s400/ANTM7.8+Jess+constipated.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2. HNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsf0GQDM-pfMqqg3_tXfvhmTPH9hzG-cAYMBGD36oWxsDChz4xsCffvhiMSCHf01feIIM-iabkZ80nrF-r5WQATFjGDgRNPahYRehlh74sAyt_yedvyvckDh4JauZA3C5G2xwvgQ/s1600/ANTM7.8+Simone+days+of+our+lives.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsf0GQDM-pfMqqg3_tXfvhmTPH9hzG-cAYMBGD36oWxsDChz4xsCffvhiMSCHf01feIIM-iabkZ80nrF-r5WQATFjGDgRNPahYRehlh74sAyt_yedvyvckDh4JauZA3C5G2xwvgQ/s400/ANTM7.8+Simone+days+of+our+lives.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">3. Jesus Christ. That smells like a combination of fresh-cut hay and dead hobo.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Challenged.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The next day, fully rehearsed, Ms Dawson drags the scrags to a commercial studio to audition for a Telstra commercial. The ad will be shot by Abe Forsythe, who you saw in that thing he was in that time, and co-acted by Joseph, who I can see in my pants. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Amelia auditions first and, sadly, is amazing. Arseholes are so <i>good </i>at hyper-cheesy melodrama and pretending that they’re shocked to find out that Chad’s their brother. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Montana suddenly has an American accent, Izzy is surprisingly unconvincing, and Hazel’s voice can cut through four layers of glass and still explode a guinea pig. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s pretty much exactly what you'd imagine this photo would sound like.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVbt8Tl7k3fWxQN5wOvq63v72KEFrHijwgA7dO8kODx1bVBo9yyJ4rXp-94uIqoq78Z9JpjFm8ll8UVOLZp9jsjvyM1nd2Y5eeJ5UR9gSVw7GnL4OzOgSIuCn1_2AFA4HfUgWtvg/s1600/ANTM7.8+Hazel+whine+voice.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="395" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVbt8Tl7k3fWxQN5wOvq63v72KEFrHijwgA7dO8kODx1bVBo9yyJ4rXp-94uIqoq78Z9JpjFm8ll8UVOLZp9jsjvyM1nd2Y5eeJ5UR9gSVw7GnL4OzOgSIuCn1_2AFA4HfUgWtvg/s400/ANTM7.8+Hazel+whine+voice.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What do you reckon, Mrs Maddie Braunstein?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9vLb9G0bt7JsuWYkCtEyq1qf390N8ZIlXs3dqF7Nuw54QI6ILoCmS8E0mMkzEwIGUgi3jsz4Ught_P1OOyoTXCQCxrDP9jrSocpwZe1d2wf5BYRed1Z3hieHpF0CWXDVtTqxxBg/s1600/ANTM7.8+Maddie+shrill+ear.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="357" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9vLb9G0bt7JsuWYkCtEyq1qf390N8ZIlXs3dqF7Nuw54QI6ILoCmS8E0mMkzEwIGUgi3jsz4Ught_P1OOyoTXCQCxrDP9jrSocpwZe1d2wf5BYRed1Z3hieHpF0CWXDVtTqxxBg/s400/ANTM7.8+Maddie+shrill+ear.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oi, vey.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Doik Simone sources her inspiration directly from ham and cheese, and is consequently magnificent. Say what you will about Doik, she’ll only ever need one skill in life and everything will be fine. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_fi5JHkOrgTLz5oDcN7mT_CCGDWcNZ5BGB2v6kS_LQLRnYAxzgysxqtOFWGkussQEbNoKbPQeUn1JP7VCXSp5IVkWad77TqwmlH_LiFAuQAnxqe8qFzgFuA-DxniSs2qEhMJ3VA/s1600/ANTM7.8+Simone+life+resume.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_fi5JHkOrgTLz5oDcN7mT_CCGDWcNZ5BGB2v6kS_LQLRnYAxzgysxqtOFWGkussQEbNoKbPQeUn1JP7VCXSp5IVkWad77TqwmlH_LiFAuQAnxqe8qFzgFuA-DxniSs2qEhMJ3VA/s400/ANTM7.8+Simone+life+resume.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This one.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8FKN7bdiyaB7XSKITs0zjmkMc6V469bfIegGC56jsXCHGSol1Kl60O9W-xagiFmAXoIpxyKngWkORwyxvoGvtLXbAkK9rZ9itd2GouQGyBiBSXHaLwg7ppPcgwQRIv_BpM9fDbw/s1600/ANTM7.8+Simone+big+hair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="341" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8FKN7bdiyaB7XSKITs0zjmkMc6V469bfIegGC56jsXCHGSol1Kl60O9W-xagiFmAXoIpxyKngWkORwyxvoGvtLXbAkK9rZ9itd2GouQGyBiBSXHaLwg7ppPcgwQRIv_BpM9fDbw/s400/ANTM7.8+Simone+big+hair.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh okay, and maybe these two a little bit.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Liz is a little unsure about her audition, but decides to “just kinda go with the flow and see if I go well, and try and bring some impromise... impro... imprompting stuff into it?”. I AM SO GLAD WE’RE BEST FRIENDS, LIZZY.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Finally the audition is over, and the final commercial is an artistic and cinematic juggernaut.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">COMING SOON TO A CINEMA NEAR YOU:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_gRUn0ua4bBf9ZQgHGGvzJ3mLUU2td_07RcDfHurbsZWcqxR32AsRbm0ljsK7CyveN-otjIuej3B9_GYMeehJGPM3oh04a9VKOp2WK1ndxXo0ugDKrduvPQg4GtplFcyU3Od7iQ/s1600/ANTM7.8+Chad+Is+Your+Brother.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_gRUn0ua4bBf9ZQgHGGvzJ3mLUU2td_07RcDfHurbsZWcqxR32AsRbm0ljsK7CyveN-otjIuej3B9_GYMeehJGPM3oh04a9VKOp2WK1ndxXo0ugDKrduvPQg4GtplFcyU3Od7iQ/s400/ANTM7.8+Chad+Is+Your+Brother.jpg" width="370" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">STARRING: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Montana ‘Never Go Full Retard’ Smith</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe7O1HWFOc-86FwX_apGF4u6MLfGxR5IgUJu2zRuxw1GoiAiu3FqVO_gZPEdoSeDI5fTprFprleC93CoFzeyxLRhFa5nWfCHx1CW2Hl7D5761AGBzknARmkwaIA8mztnHJWKQiEw/s1600/ANTM7.8+Montana+Chad+Is+Your+Brother.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe7O1HWFOc-86FwX_apGF4u6MLfGxR5IgUJu2zRuxw1GoiAiu3FqVO_gZPEdoSeDI5fTprFprleC93CoFzeyxLRhFa5nWfCHx1CW2Hl7D5761AGBzknARmkwaIA8mztnHJWKQiEw/s400/ANTM7.8+Montana+Chad+Is+Your+Brother.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jess ‘I Can Still Smell That Hobo’ Smith</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDoQD4E78uHO9gNK9IFPkUiHd4pvsiBH6Ofg2elju2q5wkHc-6QNd87XpDZfpmWE8yZJGtw8dzb_Z83N6S4hQGSomdmK-Pyactgq4yA3C8rbIWqeNbOy3MtMMJw7e-594VuNJsBA/s1600/ANTM7.8+Jess+Chad+Is+Your+Brother.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDoQD4E78uHO9gNK9IFPkUiHd4pvsiBH6Ofg2elju2q5wkHc-6QNd87XpDZfpmWE8yZJGtw8dzb_Z83N6S4hQGSomdmK-Pyactgq4yA3C8rbIWqeNbOy3MtMMJw7e-594VuNJsBA/s400/ANTM7.8+Jess+Chad+Is+Your+Brother.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And t</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">his Chinese guy.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMoGXloR2xAY3DzUAno-H_vL3pNBkqtrRF3A2VowJBS8pYSNmof9BKr3tdgWSH8lDZjYr7mqmoBqb9vXQQsSeWnxHn_vPTy0iJgaOayLLlRyJnmqW2xOL3qNWUC-xkPfVecdvQ7g/s1600/ANTM7.8+Rachel+Chad+Is+Your+Brother.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMoGXloR2xAY3DzUAno-H_vL3pNBkqtrRF3A2VowJBS8pYSNmof9BKr3tdgWSH8lDZjYr7mqmoBqb9vXQQsSeWnxHn_vPTy0iJgaOayLLlRyJnmqW2xOL3qNWUC-xkPfVecdvQ7g/s400/ANTM7.8+Rachel+Chad+Is+Your+Brother.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDMG9dFBSO1Gb3yRSGEuoCRzsOy2PrJ9oauRTnp_lTvIJOKkFsyyCNafLm6JyAf16bCJW3dzmqoCi-42Z-6xaNNsc_QaNM5sN1kFLMQMVvK7n3nIbvQu6-AdvrSHe2RFTZgUSV0g/s1600/ANTM7.4+That%2527s+Racist.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDMG9dFBSO1Gb3yRSGEuoCRzsOy2PrJ9oauRTnp_lTvIJOKkFsyyCNafLm6JyAf16bCJW3dzmqoCi-42Z-6xaNNsc_QaNM5sN1kFLMQMVvK7n3nIbvQu6-AdvrSHe2RFTZgUSV0g/s1600/ANTM7.4+That%2527s+Racist.gif" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Challenge winners, who get to do a job that other people would get paid for for free (exciting!) are Madeline, Simone, Amelia and Montana. Montana says that when the ad comes out, her parents will be shocked to see her on TV. Yeah, she says that to camera. On... y’know. On TV.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Izzy calls her boyfriend on a dodgy line to tell him how disappointed she is that she hasn’t won Phoy-Toy-Of-The-Week or any challenges, which I know <i>sounds</i> interesting, but I’m momentarily distracted by the dial tone.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Phoy-Toy Shoot</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Off everyone whisks the next morning to a mysterious steam-themed photo shoot in Picton.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAh1a7iR6jDusGu6QEHTeZ_EDpxfY_pNLAgu9ARosR62LmifNKWxuYeZrI9GzQIAqx8Tb4mrDMf0ISxNrKr6RXZ2YkSuR3PqlyUA1L7J5uo44ScUQ9tfuxEiVwFzBbiWE6KuMLQQ/s1600/ANTM7.8+Delaware.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAh1a7iR6jDusGu6QEHTeZ_EDpxfY_pNLAgu9ARosR62LmifNKWxuYeZrI9GzQIAqx8Tb4mrDMf0ISxNrKr6RXZ2YkSuR3PqlyUA1L7J5uo44ScUQ9tfuxEiVwFzBbiWE6KuMLQQ/s320/ANTM7.8+Delaware.gif" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hi. We're in Picton.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It turns out that the word ‘steam’ refers to a ‘steam train’, because words, that’s why. The modules are greeted by Josh Flinn, who has pictures of leopards on his shirt:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6VOtkGk_QdG7ekXbXSB-wK9uYFSoXjGr0QK3nrkK79frhfL4ea45WJdi4VE1OcqvHdnve9UFE6Cwf75TSRo_K2TqTjl1xcG2j2xJk6cGw-qBypqssJQHcUu3Bdcghnze_ygCuWQ/s1600/ANTM7.8+Brigitte+leopard.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6VOtkGk_QdG7ekXbXSB-wK9uYFSoXjGr0QK3nrkK79frhfL4ea45WJdi4VE1OcqvHdnve9UFE6Cwf75TSRo_K2TqTjl1xcG2j2xJk6cGw-qBypqssJQHcUu3Bdcghnze_ygCuWQ/s400/ANTM7.8+Brigitte+leopard.jpg" width="328" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hello, girls.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...and mildly cranky cardigan-clad photographer Jordan Graham, whose other skill is growing a beard both on the bottom <i>and </i>top of his head.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLxel9DaEimBlL3_bMntqAkbTwhtQ8pQ4o46wikJFYgjM4nrCla03r9wEW1Wt16VxZLoLjVlp0_cLBsTr7Rr1BecfrioCX_x6Gn99WQ7WWcxaQQ0irGZFjqZvHzT8Kn0NVd1mB4Q/s1600/ANTM7.8+Photog+beard+head.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLxel9DaEimBlL3_bMntqAkbTwhtQ8pQ4o46wikJFYgjM4nrCla03r9wEW1Wt16VxZLoLjVlp0_cLBsTr7Rr1BecfrioCX_x6Gn99WQ7WWcxaQQ0irGZFjqZvHzT8Kn0NVd1mB4Q/s400/ANTM7.8+Photog+beard+head.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The girls learn that they’ll be taking part in a 1920s-themed shoot inspired by The Great Gatsby, unless you’re Liz, in which case it’s ‘The Great Gaps Tee Gaps Gaps’, which earns her this week’s trophy.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBc176Dt-sGurP5bu_Xy2eXEtHvqUWd7od0CATkJIemBh3djJWhv7er6uC7lDgfCW2UECYqVOdefZ2ZWb00-TMFqRo7eyJQrbeRt19HAvMYg2f2MCgFcBQHk7gpgL7aw_KoU8JJw/s1600/ANTM7.8+Liz+trophy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBc176Dt-sGurP5bu_Xy2eXEtHvqUWd7od0CATkJIemBh3djJWhv7er6uC7lDgfCW2UECYqVOdefZ2ZWb00-TMFqRo7eyJQrbeRt19HAvMYg2f2MCgFcBQHk7gpgL7aw_KoU8JJw/s400/ANTM7.8+Liz+trophy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Doik, in a rare non-camera-shy moment, says “No, I’ve never read Great Gatsby, but I’ve read Streetcar Named Desire, so I kind of just pretended it was Streetcar Named Desire”, which is a bit like Edward Hopper pretending that his painting subjects are just giggling unicorns or, for the lowbrow amongst you, like Britney Spears pretending she’s a university graduate who knows how underpants work.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The styling is incredible, with finger-curled bobs, pearls, sharp dark lips, smoky eyes and Madeline listening to Kanye’s first album so that she can get into the historical mood. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After doing a spot of maths, Josh Nielsen drops a hormone bomb amongst the scraggy pigeons by announcing that Lincoln Lewis will be co-modelling with them today. Excited Rachel exclaims that she’s never worked with an actor before. SHUT UP NO WAY. Pretty sure that’s the only thing she’s never done. Preeetty sure.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The girls will be modelling with Lincoln in three themed groups. The first group, Madeline, Liz & Rachel, are asked to pretend that they’re coming off the train from a big night out, and are walking to Madeline’s house for more booze.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd-2g-ziOx1_x_hVyzAv0uB2cy_wzwEeABaK0lxbLrODolxPK6MfsA0owIDDdoiegduDEYZXMuUuUZw46hWa8nsvTbsZtdVmIrvEK8CMuGbYjLxatWzUrZA2A7fObjl28r98ppBA/s1600/ANTM7.8+Lets+Go+Listen+To+Cradle+Of+Filth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd-2g-ziOx1_x_hVyzAv0uB2cy_wzwEeABaK0lxbLrODolxPK6MfsA0owIDDdoiegduDEYZXMuUuUZw46hWa8nsvTbsZtdVmIrvEK8CMuGbYjLxatWzUrZA2A7fObjl28r98ppBA/s400/ANTM7.8+Lets+Go+Listen+To+Cradle+Of+Filth.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And to listen to some Cradle Of Filth.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rachel struggles because she’s never been drunk before (SHUT UP NO WAY), and also because the photographer’s instructions are way too specific. “Rachel, your stumbling is a little bit too stumbly”, he says. MODELLING IS SO <i>HARD</i>, YOU GUYZ.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The second group, Jess, Hazel and Simone, are all blonde girls riding on the train with a cute guy, and HAHAHAHAHAHA WHEEEEEEEE WE’RE ON A TRAIN AND WE HAVE DIFFERENT SIZED HATS!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The third group, Izzy, Amelia and Montana, are asked to look ‘sad beautiful’. Montana ponders over the difficulty of this until finally nailing it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ0A8YWbw5lLOPmy9QV38pedfIzbuFVDETNRnZ2-xzz_C2xPxo1bdXBPI2PdWetX8CA3iiFIety8ZyiW_tY_myfdTFJp693HLhjbJKg5JKbyLZrQgmNbg9INRqhJ_HlupiqlfPBg/s1600/ANTM7.8+Montana+Sad..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ0A8YWbw5lLOPmy9QV38pedfIzbuFVDETNRnZ2-xzz_C2xPxo1bdXBPI2PdWetX8CA3iiFIety8ZyiW_tY_myfdTFJp693HLhjbJKg5JKbyLZrQgmNbg9INRqhJ_HlupiqlfPBg/s400/ANTM7.8+Montana+Sad..jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sad and missing a chromosome</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5b6vgEHQENsd0lsgHqJj14LObj1YF38CrAHEjlbhHcJJ_qBEBsN8ygElBuS2mAz88Ut_tcpPyPrpyF2fy7fmMPcwHgjV_KqVgSTwCrvmm9WFjO6cfjkgmZS5_E4lwASQebYitYQ/s1600/ANTM7.8+Beautiful+Sad+nailed+it.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5b6vgEHQENsd0lsgHqJj14LObj1YF38CrAHEjlbhHcJJ_qBEBsN8ygElBuS2mAz88Ut_tcpPyPrpyF2fy7fmMPcwHgjV_KqVgSTwCrvmm9WFjO6cfjkgmZS5_E4lwASQebYitYQ/s400/ANTM7.8+Beautiful+Sad+nailed+it.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sad beautiful.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">EVERYBODY JUST WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND. Hold it. <i>FINALLY, </i>after eight weeks, someone finally figures out what modelling is all about. That’s right. You've seen it before. It’s the SCT. The Solitary Crystalline Tear. IT’S ABOUT TIME.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2BXwYaDCE_e79KJFIXAfExQVtBwDTZD7XiKvQOtQLZmp6GHmycLBepmn51xH9tBai3D1fD4TwQByrZF8t2Hlb8FCSgTOsrRJc-QiEmOS5cjXuO_AK4QJYdIbSMkGg7qu_9bHu0g/s1600/ANTM7.8+Izzy+SCT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2BXwYaDCE_e79KJFIXAfExQVtBwDTZD7XiKvQOtQLZmp6GHmycLBepmn51xH9tBai3D1fD4TwQByrZF8t2Hlb8FCSgTOsrRJc-QiEmOS5cjXuO_AK4QJYdIbSMkGg7qu_9bHu0g/s400/ANTM7.8+Izzy+SCT.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Meanwhile, the photographer asks Amelia to move her face a little further into the window. There are many situations in which that might be considered a bad sign. This is pretty much all of them.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eliminationosity</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After Saint Sarah’s disembodied voice takes us through the prizes (which I think this year include a full packet of coloured pencils and a McFlurry), the modules descend upon the Eliminarium with various levels of sartorial success. Liz is wearing one of her eight thousand baby-doll dresses. Izzy is off to the Sock Hop. Rachel is in a bad, bad jumper. Doik is wearing LEATHER FREAKIN’ SHORTS. Although I suppose with Doik, anything that just wipes clean can’t be a bad thing, right?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Saint Sarah, fresh from a lamington drive for the Northern Beaches Dog Birthing Clinic, introduces judges Charlotte Dawson:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDdZtxqheivj_eL-yxYKM_mzx-NC4pXo6bVM8dpt9wZo5TRiZ_OtEQk-SUFJWlkfXTSnas2nfq11mrJ0EPSl-GpWyDOVaZQNxVpEJy2MJm7O3HWKqfFQe2-o2PrE_wWxcBqcXCLg/s1600/ANTM7.8+Charlotte+smell+my+finger.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDdZtxqheivj_eL-yxYKM_mzx-NC4pXo6bVM8dpt9wZo5TRiZ_OtEQk-SUFJWlkfXTSnas2nfq11mrJ0EPSl-GpWyDOVaZQNxVpEJy2MJm7O3HWKqfFQe2-o2PrE_wWxcBqcXCLg/s400/ANTM7.8+Charlotte+smell+my+finger.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dressed today as someone who enjoys self-administered 'smell my finger' jokes</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shiny Alex Perry:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsP9cM0FAy_U7LKUKUWYWfPBvFEMXF8Sh5QLFFCgpCqOExTYZMk2XBxvrDD7A1aKSZZm1WbrjJ4IFMxkGsR5WXGnpksz0riWs8LQ50bHKUaMMlNKZp63TbP6g3xhyphenhyphenQaUC6xo_d-w/s1600/ANTM7.8+Perry+smell+my+finger.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsP9cM0FAy_U7LKUKUWYWfPBvFEMXF8Sh5QLFFCgpCqOExTYZMk2XBxvrDD7A1aKSZZm1WbrjJ4IFMxkGsR5WXGnpksz0riWs8LQ50bHKUaMMlNKZp63TbP6g3xhyphenhyphenQaUC6xo_d-w/s400/ANTM7.8+Perry+smell+my+finger.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Who, judging by his expression, has just smelled Charlotte's finger</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...and guest judge Beard-Head, the amazing double-bearded man.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The judges check out the week’s phoy-toys, and OH MY GOD IT’S THAT CHINESE GUY AGAIN.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJL-je-8B8BA_jcng5YELg7UvDFHMhIk7r_73UGnbB3MMTneKEVKbQ_gViaXjvFXjhVMYgvJNm7HQkplSfL1OhsdtMejxo5S0phyea_CjE6dm54eVyI5Hod30jnAU4LGMzsPfkPg/s1600/ANTM7.8+3+girls+one+asian+dude.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJL-je-8B8BA_jcng5YELg7UvDFHMhIk7r_73UGnbB3MMTneKEVKbQ_gViaXjvFXjhVMYgvJNm7HQkplSfL1OhsdtMejxo5S0phyea_CjE6dm54eVyI5Hod30jnAU4LGMzsPfkPg/s400/ANTM7.8+3+girls+one+asian+dude.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No, wait - it's just Rincoln Rewis. Sorry.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Various scrags are called slappers, lumps and cheap, the judges deliberate, and like ducks in a row in heels in a gaudy blue and gold studio, the girls are picked off one by one until only Liz, Jess and Amelia remain.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Suddenly, a shock! Tell us, Magic Psychic Desk!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgtjh0quQp_Ul9EdjvALjb1x_q71CIxNAq3lzab5iDllFKQ5Sp2ErNGk4TrYFWulhLxZpo26337SIcpX3lmXyxnEJF9lMS1mE8f0VLq1x5BqLIcTFCDnzSwzFmpyEjzjWbvvTvaA/s1600/ANTM7.8+Magic+Psychic+Desk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgtjh0quQp_Ul9EdjvALjb1x_q71CIxNAq3lzab5iDllFKQ5Sp2ErNGk4TrYFWulhLxZpo26337SIcpX3lmXyxnEJF9lMS1mE8f0VLq1x5BqLIcTFCDnzSwzFmpyEjzjWbvvTvaA/s400/ANTM7.8+Magic+Psychic+Desk.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No, no. The OTHER shock.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiCHO_EyMI37RcGaKKTd7gUqwlks-juwliXLNWr_NY4m4Y7AYXY8YXAGOdGJBZ77yJlzDNdLIAHY-h3ZVZMIK5MS1L-MoezicpKVkfj98RzuKCCCet_D4o8PNldwQDuCqGcZgUzw/s1600/antm7.8+Magic+Psychic+Desk+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiCHO_EyMI37RcGaKKTd7gUqwlks-juwliXLNWr_NY4m4Y7AYXY8YXAGOdGJBZ77yJlzDNdLIAHY-h3ZVZMIK5MS1L-MoezicpKVkfj98RzuKCCCet_D4o8PNldwQDuCqGcZgUzw/s400/antm7.8+Magic+Psychic+Desk+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Aaaaand Jess and Amelia get the boot. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bye, Jess and Amelia! The competition will be... um... marginally... kind of... less populated without you. Yeah. That.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">******</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s verse 8 of the seemingly interminable country song that has a verse per episode! Thank Christ for that.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Yooooou’re iiiinnn</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Acting class and you’re on your arse birthing dogs with some sarcasm;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When you’ve finished, let’s pretend you’ve got Tourettes and you’re prone to sudden spasm.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s audition time – to get across the line, you’ll compete against each other</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To react just right – horror, shock, or fright – when you hear that Chad’s your brother.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now we’ll play the parts of some drunken tarts, like F. Scott Fitzgerald drew us;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Or some flappers who shed a tear or two on a train with Lincoln Lewis.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Set your mouth to pout, and it’s two more out - see you later Jess, Amelia</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sure you’re pretty, though now you have to go, ‘cause the judges didn’t feel ya.</span></div>Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-75215390298358059722011-09-19T20:46:00.001+10:002011-09-20T08:02:03.307+10:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven #7<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This week, it’s all about nature – its fury, its unexpected generosity, its effect on air travel, and its cute widdle animals.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They <i>love</i> nature over at Top Model headquarters. They love it so much they want to skin it and wear it as a hat. Welcome, zoophiles, to the ‘I Want To Scrag You Like An Animal’ episode of <i>Australia’s Next Top Model</i>. Woof.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">******</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">While lamenting Caroline’s departure, Jess compares losing her to getting your legs chopped off. I dunno – I reckon it’s more like getting your arsehole removed.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Meanwhile, Doik Simone continues on her quest to become the world’s most relentless attention seeker. She would’ve succeeded, too, if it wasn’t for them pesky kids.* And by ‘them pesky kids’, I mean ‘looking directly at the camera to see if it’s watching’. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK3GwL3tOQZQWzprp_zkOvoEmYd2hfkHb28Vt4LOWQSSlRGWmvxYwIBXVo3LdtC9Z9PBI_GQuq91z6StpHI1ESpSt5S1Q9KFi4MPqxLH_WuYL-d9Nx9gosxXSlWFhqIRc4IHO0Cw/s1600/ANTM7.7+Simone+camera+check+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK3GwL3tOQZQWzprp_zkOvoEmYd2hfkHb28Vt4LOWQSSlRGWmvxYwIBXVo3LdtC9Z9PBI_GQuq91z6StpHI1ESpSt5S1Q9KFi4MPqxLH_WuYL-d9Nx9gosxXSlWFhqIRc4IHO0Cw/s400/ANTM7.7+Simone+camera+check+3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqrTR-1rRvrIRHjPAt-1TikwmM4bG55VA6xkAKONZqMWX_gkWOGm84pGnUy4NQIURVMkVwGFuJONiJw778I1juIcGELnOmonEq1gzhG3yjfXOD7Rap4BfGakK6m7CXwxWy-piyHw/s1600/ANTM7.7+Simone+camera+check+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="328" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqrTR-1rRvrIRHjPAt-1TikwmM4bG55VA6xkAKONZqMWX_gkWOGm84pGnUy4NQIURVMkVwGFuJONiJw778I1juIcGELnOmonEq1gzhG3yjfXOD7Rap4BfGakK6m7CXwxWy-piyHw/s400/ANTM7.7+Simone+camera+check+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJNJPofB86ffmQ4osGvZLR7vFPGEj-9Ps5qe6nigngjHfjeKwHPQ5knLDTAYQtpZ6PUWTuPAPah2u8t3QJuYo49SVDrwaJw_CqW108rDAidBn8bqoqEh8EJAvriW0FFHyrVc4-Sg/s1600/ANTM7.7+Simone+camera+check+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJNJPofB86ffmQ4osGvZLR7vFPGEj-9Ps5qe6nigngjHfjeKwHPQ5knLDTAYQtpZ6PUWTuPAPah2u8t3QJuYo49SVDrwaJw_CqW108rDAidBn8bqoqEh8EJAvriW0FFHyrVc4-Sg/s400/ANTM7.7+Simone+camera+check+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Learnment</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A Sarah Mail arrives early one morning, prompting Amelia to announce “When you know there’s Sarah Mail, you’re like oh, right, I’m in for a surprise”.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">COOL STORY, BRO.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Sarah Mail says something about how bitchin’ nature is, and then drops the information that the girls will be going to Kangaroo Island, which is somewhere off Sweden, I think. Wherever it is, it rockets the scrags suddenly into the stratosphere of excitement, because exclamation mark!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIPUUh59XGZhDkeJDGzE-gZ9iRHxSNrn2eVkFStiY-QmtsCF33L9ZAd9BV_OgoGZ0E7qf8-ikG0r0RCYKabIHUGhAmzRHCKbopvA5yVAF6FKJiNS5A_ZeBPloSurbuRBSbpBSm2g/s1600/ANTM7.7+Izzy+doesn%2527t+get+the+memo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIPUUh59XGZhDkeJDGzE-gZ9iRHxSNrn2eVkFStiY-QmtsCF33L9ZAd9BV_OgoGZ0E7qf8-ikG0r0RCYKabIHUGhAmzRHCKbopvA5yVAF6FKJiNS5A_ZeBPloSurbuRBSbpBSm2g/s400/ANTM7.7+Izzy+doesn%2527t+get+the+memo.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Izzy didn't seem to get the Let's All Totes Spack Out memo.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She also didn't seem to get my order at Big Daddy-O's Rock N' Roll Roller Skate Diner.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbisq2NqHBBGPjGA1g2sei9wN6OBOpmaahM8yo7tvQL84YV49k6WqxY05IWkSSE-Bv2d7UbwU6Dh0JWlwHopXFv7UQqiKg20r6o51uCn_3PUSfE6jGrv0D69f5pmBOJnVS0O2wNw/s1600/ANTM7.7+Izzy+Sheri+diner+waitress.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="323" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbisq2NqHBBGPjGA1g2sei9wN6OBOpmaahM8yo7tvQL84YV49k6WqxY05IWkSSE-Bv2d7UbwU6Dh0JWlwHopXFv7UQqiKg20r6o51uCn_3PUSfE6jGrv0D69f5pmBOJnVS0O2wNw/s400/ANTM7.7+Izzy+Sheri+diner+waitress.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cherry malted and a slice of pie, thanks Sheri. Make it snappy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Some of the modules spend the next five minutes impersonating kangaroos, which makes me glad they’re not going to Bong Bong. Or Foul Bay. Or Mount Buggery. Or Rooty Hill. And I really like looking things up in Google.**</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The girls are packed off in the Fashion Fiestas to the airport, where they promptly don’t fly anywhere. As Amelia says, it turns out that “It was pretty crazy, there was an ash cloud from Chile stopping our flight, but that’s Mother Nature”. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">COOL STORY, BRO.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So basically, we spend the next eight hours watching the girls sit. Actually, they don’t really seem to have the hang of sitting.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcdVIY0GmONsIk1ecPejcVQrANNnLsjoul2k0bPcSWBJLptr-JHjyGdQJVUBM11nQ866mnfNTeBYKq_8DpsBl9ySVvtRS5nFryVUY_LaJT03QDtb0tutceoRXsME53U4vBKCLYAA/s1600/ANTM7.7+Chairs+102+Flexible+doik.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcdVIY0GmONsIk1ecPejcVQrANNnLsjoul2k0bPcSWBJLptr-JHjyGdQJVUBM11nQ866mnfNTeBYKq_8DpsBl9ySVvtRS5nFryVUY_LaJT03QDtb0tutceoRXsME53U4vBKCLYAA/s400/ANTM7.7+Chairs+102+Flexible+doik.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Although Doik really does seem quite flexible here.</td></tr>
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eventually a cranky Charlotte Dawson tells the modules that they won’t be able to fly to Kangaroo Island this afternoon, but that she’s organised a substitute activity. See now, I’ve been watching this show for twenty-eight thousand years now, so I’ve familiarised myself with the subtle nuances of each judge, carefully assessing every facial expression and minor gesture. So I know when Dawson is just marginally, ever-so-slightly over it. It's like this.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVb2aahsQvBt8-wLhLfnESS-5rzA0hg-8KRaLVanG0n-hRWt7x8uMi23mzMdyq82as3GzTmjo2yeFiLG7r6Q417kQlBKEa_BREH6AGEUWI-QPYaJngtJMNISTzPfd72ycwct4sgg/s1600/ANTM7.7+Dawson+gif.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVb2aahsQvBt8-wLhLfnESS-5rzA0hg-8KRaLVanG0n-hRWt7x8uMi23mzMdyq82as3GzTmjo2yeFiLG7r6Q417kQlBKEa_BREH6AGEUWI-QPYaJngtJMNISTzPfd72ycwct4sgg/s400/ANTM7.7+Dawson+gif.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">See the tension in her wrists? That.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Everyone hauls themselves off to the Sydney Dance Company, where they’re met by Bangarra dancer Tim Bishop, or as Madeline puts it: “There was a dancer crouched down on the floor covered in… flour? It looked like flour”. Flour. Traditional white ochre. Same Diff.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIaQ2sT7BngnJsVeG2atjRsw7xJ2IuLgsXqbMksq3trYVo9DEImeWwk1Du95mMZgS9Lqkqff7JhcacEq6DNM83800IuTmSwer_YFTGji-nS-uM82KCTHuXmkDt9Zd2dGR68GiTvw/s1600/ANTM7.7+Bakery+is+this+way.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIaQ2sT7BngnJsVeG2atjRsw7xJ2IuLgsXqbMksq3trYVo9DEImeWwk1Du95mMZgS9Lqkqff7JhcacEq6DNM83800IuTmSwer_YFTGji-nS-uM82KCTHuXmkDt9Zd2dGR68GiTvw/s400/ANTM7.7+Bakery+is+this+way.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The bakery is that way.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The ‘I Think We Might Have Blown Most Of Our Budget On Going To Paris’ lesson involves each module being given a ‘nature’ word that they have to interpret into a pose. The enthusiastic Doik sneers “I hate nature, so I wasn’t impressed with doing a nature pose”.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, just for you playing at home who may have lost count, the tally stands at:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">THINGS DOIK HATES</span></u><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span">1. Water</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">2. <span class="Apple-style-span">Neo</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">3. <span class="Apple-style-span">Nature</span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Try to keep up.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEeQxF4SmTCVR3PXDUbEb0CbtWiGYu6OCBgQr_4jmLuREYcULdeJQknarTB20QGqGklwUs27mFlWOfza5UeO5Xb1RclCaeJXeOXUZZDxQjFuNQQdjOop0lRffcf0dGXrVpqfkJ6A/s1600/ANTM7.7+Simone+gang+member.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="333" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEeQxF4SmTCVR3PXDUbEb0CbtWiGYu6OCBgQr_4jmLuREYcULdeJQknarTB20QGqGklwUs27mFlWOfza5UeO5Xb1RclCaeJXeOXUZZDxQjFuNQQdjOop0lRffcf0dGXrVpqfkJ6A/s400/ANTM7.7+Simone+gang+member.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gang member Doik wants to bust a cap in nature's ass.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hazel is a tree, which reminds her of the time she played a tree in a school dramatic production. This is a tree:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7oKP-ldvSE_jjFGMfSZbMnoFHE7XXKtrLu8RCZrXYI3Rb7aZh811NSUgl1hib40nDv22o_pLkiwrRbY2oIE61eBWSHfSanbR-HXzziVuA_iuRUlH2fjmrr2jp5Bm6CeSvYfDQdg/s1600/ANTM7.7+Hazel+tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7oKP-ldvSE_jjFGMfSZbMnoFHE7XXKtrLu8RCZrXYI3Rb7aZh811NSUgl1hib40nDv22o_pLkiwrRbY2oIE61eBWSHfSanbR-HXzziVuA_iuRUlH2fjmrr2jp5Bm6CeSvYfDQdg/s400/ANTM7.7+Hazel+tree.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm sorry, but the role of Hamlet is unavailable at this time.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Doik is the ocean, which she finds extremely difficult, complaining that she can’t “just make myself ten times bigger”. This is the ocean:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEichoUDU0HmNpA598Mo5bclIpWU2DWLRAwzFmj1fncHT-9teOYPGaQ1B4MGQFJp1I7Mryokwm-6UFHdeU23iKCOriZms-KbRHxwRgHdr0UXM-O4g0zrXVmnVnkJ6gmut4GwokoETQ/s1600/ANTM7.7+Simone+ocean.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEichoUDU0HmNpA598Mo5bclIpWU2DWLRAwzFmj1fncHT-9teOYPGaQ1B4MGQFJp1I7Mryokwm-6UFHdeU23iKCOriZms-KbRHxwRgHdr0UXM-O4g0zrXVmnVnkJ6gmut4GwokoETQ/s400/ANTM7.7+Simone+ocean.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">But you have to imagine it ten times better.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yolanda is lightning. This is lightning:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEHgWFlW9Ku9llz7pqjXoCtADUjHrm6tI2QgD0avz-Vfkao__xuXwJRLl2zAlymIEDg97l0O9wS01P7SrNMnL-g9SZGVwXCYAvDmYSWS2YXo52QOWtP_Nf8QWNFq7r-zJftrvfBw/s1600/ANTM7.7+Yolanda+lightning.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEHgWFlW9Ku9llz7pqjXoCtADUjHrm6tI2QgD0avz-Vfkao__xuXwJRLl2zAlymIEDg97l0O9wS01P7SrNMnL-g9SZGVwXCYAvDmYSWS2YXo52QOWtP_Nf8QWNFq7r-zJftrvfBw/s400/ANTM7.7+Yolanda+lightning.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lightning is a little constipated right now. Please come back later.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Liz is lava. Obviously.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipTwsTNaIP8lY-bITmdVCwakmi9bgFppC_-FAslmfJ3IP8HRxFLPt0rxOK5QkMMVY22Lb9XUqQu5nLVL5rtsf3AtEcgi2u3iFswrSEN9FZ69P51PQZGE9KD8mIedPhuEKXdZrMLg/s1600/ANTM7.7+Liz+lava.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipTwsTNaIP8lY-bITmdVCwakmi9bgFppC_-FAslmfJ3IP8HRxFLPt0rxOK5QkMMVY22Lb9XUqQu5nLVL5rtsf3AtEcgi2u3iFswrSEN9FZ69P51PQZGE9KD8mIedPhuEKXdZrMLg/s400/ANTM7.7+Liz+lava.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lava.... lava is hot, right? (giggle)</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maddy is a wombat, or a rabbit, or something. Whatever it is, it’s just seen your headlights.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAdBStlnmyXs08y2kdVRZM8ISjR6dYgL4q2JG8kb-g6U0TP3paMLPLVPrmfVCCWcjUYodTan25k2_S21f0fQPN46sIP2svGPkyo4K9HuCwXtB8nhFu_Xk__XuLDHkn5nZZVtxybw/s1600/ANTM7.7+Maddy+wombat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAdBStlnmyXs08y2kdVRZM8ISjR6dYgL4q2JG8kb-g6U0TP3paMLPLVPrmfVCCWcjUYodTan25k2_S21f0fQPN46sIP2svGPkyo4K9HuCwXtB8nhFu_Xk__XuLDHkn5nZZVtxybw/s400/ANTM7.7+Maddy+wombat.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Izzy kicks arse as a kangaroo, and I’ve <i>finally </i>figured out her posing secret. She models with her hands. HER HANDS. There’s not even a joke there. I've just nailed it, is all.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7lXl66Y37d767i0ZzHNaXTXCgo2IrhAMStvC74GvESXP_jyPp0ixPztZWL-mM1M4GOe3hLtHwSAmW6dekpSgsATXXqods1fTv1IHkdFFEr5g_ihawViIW1OiP-V2-NcoxWXhvwA/s1600/ANTM7.7+Izzy+hands1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7lXl66Y37d767i0ZzHNaXTXCgo2IrhAMStvC74GvESXP_jyPp0ixPztZWL-mM1M4GOe3hLtHwSAmW6dekpSgsATXXqods1fTv1IHkdFFEr5g_ihawViIW1OiP-V2-NcoxWXhvwA/s400/ANTM7.7+Izzy+hands1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hands.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5-XrqMbU_adRclWY5h6YRp8pZqYHHLD7ENPQIwMsnVWdDl7JB8qLUZkRjevk-WcWqPa6OQzhBPA7n6PpxF82INq8sqVZMMJXWNRfUHGDi6WBKAsj9WFJztv8ZpKDDb544ZGuX9g/s1600/ANTM7.7+Izzy+hands2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5-XrqMbU_adRclWY5h6YRp8pZqYHHLD7ENPQIwMsnVWdDl7JB8qLUZkRjevk-WcWqPa6OQzhBPA7n6PpxF82INq8sqVZMMJXWNRfUHGDi6WBKAsj9WFJztv8ZpKDDb544ZGuX9g/s400/ANTM7.7+Izzy+hands2.jpg" width="288" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hands.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFuSyHRKdK-otxCZ5SwGk-vjmpoe_2AARehsgIL2PyLqkwNAueSe3Mn1csfhOz03uia215onwZ3c3fTd8rtPKG7eUehkFRf1bSs_vALGBguVOnh-WvFT5vZcRWfUx0Wmuoh1AZmw/s1600/ANTM7.7+Izzy+hands3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFuSyHRKdK-otxCZ5SwGk-vjmpoe_2AARehsgIL2PyLqkwNAueSe3Mn1csfhOz03uia215onwZ3c3fTd8rtPKG7eUehkFRf1bSs_vALGBguVOnh-WvFT5vZcRWfUx0Wmuoh1AZmw/s400/ANTM7.7+Izzy+hands3.jpg" width="298" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hands.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm901ODwy78jU-Yp_b6iRIweRX5OOuI5d5MTyjI92qzV4jySjEoaxlDGoVTV3sAg3fUsItiqec9sw5mgvt6MuP4TxtTlQ5lGH_Jr426PHKfMkDofCvRXfeJUKwGk2Kg7FluKP1nQ/s1600/ANTM7.7+Izzy+Kangaroo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="375" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm901ODwy78jU-Yp_b6iRIweRX5OOuI5d5MTyjI92qzV4jySjEoaxlDGoVTV3sAg3fUsItiqec9sw5mgvt6MuP4TxtTlQ5lGH_Jr426PHKfMkDofCvRXfeJUKwGk2Kg7FluKP1nQ/s400/ANTM7.7+Izzy+Kangaroo.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What's that, Skip? You've totally discovered her secret? GOOD DOG.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Challenged</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Seemingly pointless last-minute challenge over, the scrags drag themselves to the airport again, where they’re met by Josh Brigitte Flinn Nielsen, who looks for them as he’s parking his car.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggTRCKau-cXtwAM2cOkJkVvUHwLM8OOK1HjJ0YuW5Jt-53gsZWrxuHAriqrkltUiObsnhv1y6rCYGBe8OqXTzqKi11MX3GmVRxowGPMpz4JfAUYfCUDOCsicrvtmjlLt4l79NI7Q/s1600/ANTM7.7+Brigitte+Flinn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggTRCKau-cXtwAM2cOkJkVvUHwLM8OOK1HjJ0YuW5Jt-53gsZWrxuHAriqrkltUiObsnhv1y6rCYGBe8OqXTzqKi11MX3GmVRxowGPMpz4JfAUYfCUDOCsicrvtmjlLt4l79NI7Q/s400/ANTM7.7+Brigitte+Flinn.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Brigitte organises the girls into three groups, themed as Air, Water, and Land. Now, I know that ordering people unevenly into element-themed groups <i>sounds</i> interesting, but I’m momentarily distracted by tinnitus.***</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Once on Kangaroo Island, the modules see birds, kangaroos and seals, and wonder at the majesty of nature. It’d be pretty insensitive, macabre, unnecessary and horrifying if they made the girls wear fur later, huh. BUT THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Amelia, in that adorable wide-eyed, a-sandwich-short-of-an-eating-disorder way she has, gushes “Coming up towards Kangaroo Island reminded me of sailing around the Greek Islands with my family and coming up to a beautiful island and seeing their little white houses”, which promptly earns her this week’s trophy.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9uWu7K6jxcxL_MAj7sIyZSeOUM02W1dq7JuQJnc_sZRxo0Xqzw8IguSpxfA-a7TZgFPzgh6qjiMOAbpMuT0-GjNONlCZEEECWaXP6bu1va7ZTOgh5mp1af2p6JWrNiNP-VZpH5A/s1600/antm7.7+Amelia+trophy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9uWu7K6jxcxL_MAj7sIyZSeOUM02W1dq7JuQJnc_sZRxo0Xqzw8IguSpxfA-a7TZgFPzgh6qjiMOAbpMuT0-GjNONlCZEEECWaXP6bu1va7ZTOgh5mp1af2p6JWrNiNP-VZpH5A/s400/antm7.7+Amelia+trophy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This week’s challenge involves each group looking at some stuff and then taking a photo embodying the essence of that stuff.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yolanda, Amelia, Liz and Rachel go and look at some sand dunes and then do some strangely incongruous and decidedly non-sandy fashion poses on top of the sand dunes. It’s a bit like Rene Magritte painting a picture of a pipe in his famous painting ‘This Is Not A Pipe’ or, for the lowbrow amongst you, like David Hasselhoff saying “No thanks, I’ve had quite enough to drink but I could really go a salad”.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maddy, Izzy and Hazel go and look at some birds of prey and then impersonate some birds for their photo.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEvpcLwGhiB0gJQe-_ixlmETAHqPt3BgMqVWBRHbVSaAhjZNZgwi9sF-eYVizw76MDMJhd3EMYlTvbUDERC_X9jXNLdOs9SP4lZnH85HZOR7aISCFmrtnwha6zFPc_-Ng3ksnfUg/s1600/ANTM7.7+Izzy+bird.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEvpcLwGhiB0gJQe-_ixlmETAHqPt3BgMqVWBRHbVSaAhjZNZgwi9sF-eYVizw76MDMJhd3EMYlTvbUDERC_X9jXNLdOs9SP4lZnH85HZOR7aISCFmrtnwha6zFPc_-Ng3ksnfUg/s400/ANTM7.7+Izzy+bird.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm bloody onto something with this whole modelling-with-her-hands thing, I tell ya.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jess, Simone and Montana go and look at some seals, which makes Jess think “The best thing to do would be to remove all human aspects of us, which is our clothing”. I dunno, Jess, I reckon HUMANS are pretty human. There are humans in your photo. Humans with their nuggets out.****</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1im0mfJHtnefMdXw0dCQHRQTvkipz3QjuAvqDO6ePhi0_QIM3m4KWErMFfussWtXKQADwHhVSIFhZ8PhYeqLpSvuDUABIOm3k08Rqw0hgoCCtneo3zVo-PP2qxZoXGJcUPifauA/s1600/ANTM7.7+Bird+OMG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="397" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1im0mfJHtnefMdXw0dCQHRQTvkipz3QjuAvqDO6ePhi0_QIM3m4KWErMFfussWtXKQADwHhVSIFhZ8PhYeqLpSvuDUABIOm3k08Rqw0hgoCCtneo3zVo-PP2qxZoXGJcUPifauA/s400/ANTM7.7+Bird+OMG.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Well fuck me.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The girls make their way to the unbelievably impressive resort, and Amelia says “I’ve been to lots of places all over the world – America, Canada, Asia, Europe. I think of all the hotels I’ve stayed in, this hotel was probably the best”. Okay, a) You’ve already won the trophy, Amelia, you can relax; and b) You can’t fool us into being impressed. We know that America and Canada are the same place.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Josh looks through the photos and announces that boobs are the winner. Liz says “Their photo was absolutely amazing. We never would’ve thought to take our tops off”. It’s clear that in the in the manual for Becoming Jo’s New Best Friend 101, I’ll need to use very small words, lots of visual aids and no sudden surprises.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Phoy-toy Shoot.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The styling for this week’s shoot is in-fucking-credible, with the exception of the un-fucking-necessary use of fur. And before you ask: no, I don’t usually wear leather, because I prefer the wipe-clean, sweaty qualities of vinyl. And before you ask that other thing: yes, I eat meat, because come <i>on</i>, have you seen hamburgers?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In weather conditions that clearly have their period, Josh Flinn (who appears to have skinned Brigitte Nielsen and draped her around his neck) introduces the scrags to Nick Leary, photographer and general squinty crumpet. Everyone drapes themselves in hats, skirts, rough-hewn corsets, fringing and scraped-out pieces of mammal, drag primary colours in stripes across their eyes, and squeeze the ever-loving juice out of the tribal goddess/warrior theme. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rachel looks gorgeous and dignified, and thanks the photographer afterwards. THE THANK YOU IS BACK, PEOPLE, REPEAT: THE THANK YOU IS BACK.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The wind picks up for Montana’s shoot, and so Josh directs her by asking what a gypsy princess might do in a hurricane. Pfffft. Der. Wear bangles.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Simone looks like Zorro but has trouble leaving her sexiness behind as she squeezes between two boulders.*****</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Liz is the most beautiful person wearing haemorrhoids on their head that I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen <i>heaps</i>.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Despite having a little trouble with her focus and intensity, Jess loves her outfit, saying “I feel so cool right now. I could get married in this”. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwuy6gauQbtk4o4i2LQ_pUfCzpxxc1cIJ5luztVl5cZo78_ZlLPC9rhA9T51SuLsrux4eJiij5NJWtWYhN_dKdDgpCCXUe13nSZwIxhRe57dccuN_z_cS4LBRu9EZwNwcF25daLQ/s1600/ANTM7.7+Jess+badger+head.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="343" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwuy6gauQbtk4o4i2LQ_pUfCzpxxc1cIJ5luztVl5cZo78_ZlLPC9rhA9T51SuLsrux4eJiij5NJWtWYhN_dKdDgpCCXUe13nSZwIxhRe57dccuN_z_cS4LBRu9EZwNwcF25daLQ/s400/ANTM7.7+Jess+badger+head.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She forgoes the traditional tulle in favour of hollowed-out badger.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Amelia channels a young Maggie Tabberer on the outside, and a young arsehole on the inside when she says “I don’t like being told all the time that I’m perfect. Nobody’s perfect. I’m just human, I’m just being myself, I’m just working hard”. Working hard at being an arsehole. Succeeding.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hazel arrives on set and gets promptly rained on, cutting her shoot short, which is good, because I can’t bear to see one more sign of animal cruelty.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip_TiEZIhPy7yE5XjTZ8h07W0OebErO7RdF04gRQZmjkGnfBouvkmgrS3B5dThnb7vVfkJJtexyMqkp4ATJAEFbAps8daxxGlVMyyywWrTnbOs1WYf8D8VovXpRaW2yjFJLfDYHw/s1600/ANTM7.7+Hazel+in+baby+plastics.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="342" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip_TiEZIhPy7yE5XjTZ8h07W0OebErO7RdF04gRQZmjkGnfBouvkmgrS3B5dThnb7vVfkJJtexyMqkp4ATJAEFbAps8daxxGlVMyyywWrTnbOs1WYf8D8VovXpRaW2yjFJLfDYHw/s400/ANTM7.7+Hazel+in+baby+plastics.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hundreds of baby windcheaters died for your outfit, y'know.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maddy, in unfortunate white make-up and grey weather, has a garbage bag over her head. “I had a garbage bag over my head”, she says. “My fox was falling off. It’s kind of annoying, being in a tiny cave”. Modelling is so <i>HARD</i>, you guys.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Izzy is jaw-droppingly amazing as a Viking, and tells us that the guys on set were calling her ‘haggis’ because she looks Scottish. Or because she’s wrapped in a sheep’s stomach. Something.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The wind picks up fiercely on the island, causing all the palm trees to blow furiously.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYPcDy0gw3MA1gjWJ9hIv4nSiOfg8bIxzniMRZVFXHN_jUzhn56e31ifWQaGXJ9Kf-15C2u0X395mSLTg5LQI0cd7SLvlGKu-Ids6_51zs9yZp5QAh1ucqQKi_mSFVKMNkwC3i_w/s1600/antm7.7+Windy+palm+tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="345" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYPcDy0gw3MA1gjWJ9hIv4nSiOfg8bIxzniMRZVFXHN_jUzhn56e31ifWQaGXJ9Kf-15C2u0X395mSLTg5LQI0cd7SLvlGKu-Ids6_51zs9yZp5QAh1ucqQKi_mSFVKMNkwC3i_w/s400/antm7.7+Windy+palm+tree.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh! That’s not a palm tree!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's Yolanda. With a make-up artist. And Michelle Pfeiffer as Ladyhawke.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eliminationosity</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We come back from the ad break to be run through this year’s prizes, which I think include a packet of sour cream and chives chips and a Slinky, and then the modules are magicked briskly back to the non-seal-riddled big smoke. Saint Sarah, running late after handing out fliers for the It’s Vintage So It’s Okay Party, greets them and introduces judges Charlotte Dawson (dressed today as the head of the PTA), Shiny Alex Perry (dressed today as a shirt wearing a human), and photographer Nick, dressed today as welcome to my pants.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, you may have noticed Yolanda’s 90s-era denim frock. You may have noticed Liz’s eighteenth baby-doll Lolita dress. Those of you with superbly keen eyesight may even have noticed Izzy’s sparkly pink shoes. But what you almost certainly didn’t notice is the set of teeth that Izzy has in her hair. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigROc41zbXi59-NN7H2aXVGt8ptLvN8Xe_cD-R7QcGd0Jh6DC0Q5XEPKcsk3cYMzHb3CxyOq8UHstPVuI9rd_IWZTxZmpLebJ6boayGIFIUo6dQZc9mNedPabcYi1XnYFTEPQjxg/s1600/ANTM7.7+Izzy+teeth+hair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigROc41zbXi59-NN7H2aXVGt8ptLvN8Xe_cD-R7QcGd0Jh6DC0Q5XEPKcsk3cYMzHb3CxyOq8UHstPVuI9rd_IWZTxZmpLebJ6boayGIFIUo6dQZc9mNedPabcYi1XnYFTEPQjxg/s400/ANTM7.7+Izzy+teeth+hair.jpg" width="392" /></a></div><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDuLsJhvc-30-ga9zxdtFU1g_krZULDs44BbvQ8VCVhYHLNpZ71hbhz0wW6pK54zWmgK4oL6b-lXJS0wbqyFwNK6Sc2cYA7jaq4nxYUysnFP-k5LPrlOcNPgFpTD7FcPUsrh9cJQ/s1600/ANTM7.7+Izzy+teeth+hair2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDuLsJhvc-30-ga9zxdtFU1g_krZULDs44BbvQ8VCVhYHLNpZ71hbhz0wW6pK54zWmgK4oL6b-lXJS0wbqyFwNK6Sc2cYA7jaq4nxYUysnFP-k5LPrlOcNPgFpTD7FcPUsrh9cJQ/s400/ANTM7.7+Izzy+teeth+hair2.jpg" width="381" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's not what I meant when I said 'make it snappy'.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Teeth. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Teeth in her hair. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Izzy, right, has TEETH IN HER HAIR.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I believe that calls for the week’s second trophy.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDVuzekawWM2vEAvybtrVuISfhHwNC43EPvCN5U9dYSOPib7d5WqMExKu87M4Of0igxn8bfWqF3DekCjwnxYQvmK3hERTIDp6iJunOWeiF-6sS03SAE8cHMtMwXXYI57P9MRdR2w/s1600/antm7.7+Izzy+trophy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDVuzekawWM2vEAvybtrVuISfhHwNC43EPvCN5U9dYSOPib7d5WqMExKu87M4Of0igxn8bfWqF3DekCjwnxYQvmK3hERTIDp6iJunOWeiF-6sS03SAE8cHMtMwXXYI57P9MRdR2w/s400/antm7.7+Izzy+trophy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Furry tribal photos are picked to pieces, and the judges love Rachel’s, asking her what she thought about in order to get the emotion in her eyes. “I just thought of a woman who is a bit scorned, and she’d like, lost her child or something”, she tells them, because yo, miscarriage chic is so hot right now. She thanks the judges.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Liz’s photo is unspeakably amazing. Liz, I’m putting this picture up so you can pash yourself.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7PMmUWr6AkN9gN_9QkPgNxb_oc-pAnhThykaHukj2bdvOSE24Vk81t7iXBXArHF83ceS3lAR_luydWg5gdm1tB37rcHGB-6A09JSfRqR4-iQftC1sVuy5nlsOlcN-uR5MC3lFzw/s1600/ANTM7.7+Liz+kiss+herself..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7PMmUWr6AkN9gN_9QkPgNxb_oc-pAnhThykaHukj2bdvOSE24Vk81t7iXBXArHF83ceS3lAR_luydWg5gdm1tB37rcHGB-6A09JSfRqR4-iQftC1sVuy5nlsOlcN-uR5MC3lFzw/s400/ANTM7.7+Liz+kiss+herself..jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This just got weird, didn't it.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Simone is disappointed because she doesn’t like her face in her shot, and expresses her frustration at being given a revealing outfit but told that she was looking too sexy. The judges give her some very good advice, but of course Magic Psychic Desk is much more helpful.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8Mj99ZniUP6SPtgFhIh1IAeLycm6liBx3xpnP5hq2COL11fpKzlMX02rEdS-W_kWZd6RFGqv-VefqknEJ49MQ90xDsihYmgMMhBsF62ppA57yVtHs2ctjU3EObCM7OJKFIOG73w/s1600/ANTM7.7+Magic+Psychic+Desk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8Mj99ZniUP6SPtgFhIh1IAeLycm6liBx3xpnP5hq2COL11fpKzlMX02rEdS-W_kWZd6RFGqv-VefqknEJ49MQ90xDsihYmgMMhBsF62ppA57yVtHs2ctjU3EObCM7OJKFIOG73w/s400/ANTM7.7+Magic+Psychic+Desk.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thank you, Magic Psychic Desk.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hazel is told she has the best photo of the competition so far, Amelia and Yolanda are underwhelming, Izzy is spec-plait-ular (yeah, sorry, I only just learned English), but nobody really knows what to make of Jess’s shot. Shiny Alex Perry says “I could literally just cut the head out and put like, any head in there”.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">OH <i>COULD</i> YOU, MR PERRY.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg73FH4zLC5NCqf3x8nrAbXzUS3SiNsCZXPaEGxf4EvLF01TeIq-OqQoD3IykNAvpqizXA0JWx8ED5p-XiTWoZYwoX6Iq0EJmHMDljKZANaM30sJ5k1aCv33P0nOpMaScq4iE46A/s1600/ANTM7.7+Jo+Serious+module+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg73FH4zLC5NCqf3x8nrAbXzUS3SiNsCZXPaEGxf4EvLF01TeIq-OqQoD3IykNAvpqizXA0JWx8ED5p-XiTWoZYwoX6Iq0EJmHMDljKZANaM30sJ5k1aCv33P0nOpMaScq4iE46A/s400/ANTM7.7+Jo+Serious+module+2.jpg" width="348" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Well my mate Shane has Photoshop, and NOW I'M A MODULE.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Deliberators gonna deliberate, until the modules return to the barn to learn their fate one by one until only Jess and Yolanda are left.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Four days pass, and in an injustice that rips my heart from my throat (I only just learned science, too), my Reserve Best Friend Yolanda is ousted.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bye, second-bestie. I’ll miss the way you were all my second best friend and stuff.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Goddammit.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* Scooby Doo references complete me. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">** Oh, and PS: We’re all moving to Mount Buggery. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">*** For those of you with actual tinnitus, allow me to translate: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">**** Boobies.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">***** Boobies.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">******</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Okay, so I know I have write a chorus at some point, and that by now (in country music terms) there’s actually a really good chance that the cows have actually come home, but still. Verse seven of the country song I’m writing about this show. YOU’RE WELCOME.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If yooooou’re </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On the go but a volcano fills the sky with foul emissions,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Strike a pose or two as a kangaroo, make the most of these conditions.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Once you’re out at sea take a shot or three far away from your home cities;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As an owl or part of a dune, it’s art once you liberate your titties.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the wind and rain, just ignore your pain, you’re a tribal minx so wear it;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now your hair’s in plaits and you’re wearing hats from the carcass of a ferret.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now get in the barn and we’ll have a yarn, and we’ll give your shots a gander;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But we’ll make you cry as we say goodbye to Reserve Best Friend Yolanda.</span></div>Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23949836.post-67184934383927446832011-09-12T20:35:00.000+10:002011-09-12T20:35:30.133+10:00Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven #6<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If the eyes are the windows to the soul, then the whole face is like the garage roller-door to the psyche. Either that, or I really need to start buying better fortune cookies.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sure, it might seem that this episode was all about health, fitness and brand marketing, but really it was all about facial expressions. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well, not Charlotte Dawson or Shiny Alex Perry’s, <i>obviously</i>. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Welcome, express-o-rinos, to the ‘The First Time Ever I Saw Your Scrag’ episode of <i>Australia’s Next Top Model.</i> Now turn that frown upside-down (Dawson and Perry, once again, excepted).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">******</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Finally, after <i>weeks</i> of nicey-nicey, things are getting all bitchy up in here. Know how I know? Because of the presence of the official, scientifically detected, guaranteed SBG, or Sideways Bitch Glance. It’s unmistakable.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAE7W1AwdkXJCK9dIO3_O2d-W_xjzkTmDAKMObB7xIHt2PA6HlF2Blww_bGPMSTHHHBk08p8QUQseIaK2_gPGdfCboHyS_vlTrXeVsRVsxH0Mh3qlUWZrebVd8HAI3bfiqxdtwSw/s1600/ANTM7.6+Side+Face+Bitch+Yolly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="366" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAE7W1AwdkXJCK9dIO3_O2d-W_xjzkTmDAKMObB7xIHt2PA6HlF2Blww_bGPMSTHHHBk08p8QUQseIaK2_gPGdfCboHyS_vlTrXeVsRVsxH0Mh3qlUWZrebVd8HAI3bfiqxdtwSw/s400/ANTM7.6+Side+Face+Bitch+Yolly.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It first makes its appearance outrageously early in the episode, as Simone shows her intense sorrow over Alissandra’s departure by saying “I didn’t particularly like Alissandra, because she was always just saying really DUMB stuff”.</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpVdjwXBMSE5TZWY_WkElhwCj6Ib7MKePP3A3Ct9RFfMzuJUvqjuudN0DygviXGeT4CLeMmpPp9S52DP9N0QbQxToX843cHUOGeHMSstHr6IQHsge_a1d7NKLjuDVZ6IHCBAYTfg/s1600/ANTM7.6+Doik+doik+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="386" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpVdjwXBMSE5TZWY_WkElhwCj6Ib7MKePP3A3Ct9RFfMzuJUvqjuudN0DygviXGeT4CLeMmpPp9S52DP9N0QbQxToX843cHUOGeHMSstHr6IQHsge_a1d7NKLjuDVZ6IHCBAYTfg/s400/ANTM7.6+Doik+doik+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's the pot calling the other thing something. Hahahahahahaha Wheee! Kittens.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One of the reasons Doik dislikes Alissandra is because she took some Milo home with her.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don’t think you understand.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Milo.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">MILO, GODDAMMIT!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">TOOK IT <i>HOME</i>.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN5QIjsda47y5QDsaqa9Wbegu4TZq7fRseimmqm869iDPQgRZXuMQ9_Q1CBBtfehANxs7Q5n8YYS6eWPSN_FLZABfydbVuM7I4G3C-jaqhF7w7gNhothelLC2X9NTi86JppKCsGg/s1600/ANTM7.6+Hindenburg+humanity.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN5QIjsda47y5QDsaqa9Wbegu4TZq7fRseimmqm869iDPQgRZXuMQ9_Q1CBBtfehANxs7Q5n8YYS6eWPSN_FLZABfydbVuM7I4G3C-jaqhF7w7gNhothelLC2X9NTi86JppKCsGg/s400/ANTM7.6+Hindenburg+humanity.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh, the humanity.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Neo tells us that Simone is getting on her nerves. You could almost say she doesn’t like her.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Learnment.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A Sarah-Mail sends the scrags to Bondi in a Fashion Fiesta cavalcade, where they’re met by Charlotte Dawson and Luke Hinze, who I would nickname Skeletor Luke The Rubber-Faced Terror-Tron <span> </span>if I wasn’t so terrified that he was about to eat my soul. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivB_0xk4smSOlU2jncffAX4PqKk1gAYNL5q04xg8gsNOaNWtSj6jNxY0ydNvKEq2_KptMXs6cwfOV8VcPbqpPZnhKqC0POFfuw1VzLuimUvMFj3HV9yF1UK2cUilVh9oPBY0ptiA/s1600/ANTM7.6+Spooky+Trainer3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivB_0xk4smSOlU2jncffAX4PqKk1gAYNL5q04xg8gsNOaNWtSj6jNxY0ydNvKEq2_KptMXs6cwfOV8VcPbqpPZnhKqC0POFfuw1VzLuimUvMFj3HV9yF1UK2cUilVh9oPBY0ptiA/s400/ANTM7.6+Spooky+Trainer3.jpg" width="355" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is Luke saying 'good morning'.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXR5O4OLUPLgUckjab3YMPyJMZqcEvB5SRWbVsVaKEWfqSGqNEyub_eUITpDVZbKJuRQCHSjSGqSTgBLvjKcmdhZFh1qA9NsBC6g2m48UaV_f2Qm9H4whUVco6vVkTGpNv86o1AQ/s1600/ANTM7.6+Spooky+Trainer2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXR5O4OLUPLgUckjab3YMPyJMZqcEvB5SRWbVsVaKEWfqSGqNEyub_eUITpDVZbKJuRQCHSjSGqSTgBLvjKcmdhZFh1qA9NsBC6g2m48UaV_f2Qm9H4whUVco6vVkTGpNv86o1AQ/s400/ANTM7.6+Spooky+Trainer2.jpg" width="366" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is Luke asking everyone how they are.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghcYBGY_TbkLQrSXuXCbLPdU1mAKGdWTfxInIiF9ZrsTQRcB5Qg40llcjuj1eqcGoIUavoX905AU87qChsSlv8RmMGdhAAZoYckyFkIWksY6G2lRq7eg6LOgFCNT9Sa3-YIjP75A/s1600/ANTM7.6+Spooky+Trainer1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghcYBGY_TbkLQrSXuXCbLPdU1mAKGdWTfxInIiF9ZrsTQRcB5Qg40llcjuj1eqcGoIUavoX905AU87qChsSlv8RmMGdhAAZoYckyFkIWksY6G2lRq7eg6LOgFCNT9Sa3-YIjP75A/s400/ANTM7.6+Spooky+Trainer1.jpg" width="361" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is Luke telling a knock-knock joke.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMg2F_iCE29Xz6XIzegK8wRD1BhtfWoF7_1ZjyGXuqBq4K7wU3zTfQ20BxZD1RYmtRrRaBGYuIHVpR6ZYX-Ly_Rt6x8jS2gv01j6U2Piq8sXU12swM2V95oqERpuWDmu4EXv4Kcw/s1600/ANTM7.6+Spooky+Trainer4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="392" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMg2F_iCE29Xz6XIzegK8wRD1BhtfWoF7_1ZjyGXuqBq4K7wU3zTfQ20BxZD1RYmtRrRaBGYuIHVpR6ZYX-Ly_Rt6x8jS2gv01j6U2Piq8sXU12swM2V95oqERpuWDmu4EXv4Kcw/s400/ANTM7.6+Spooky+Trainer4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And this is Luke eating your liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawson is given a whistle and a megaphone because the Geneva Conventions don’t extend to televised modelling competitions.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Before being asked to complete incredibly complex and advanced tasks like star-jumps and sit-ups, the modules are required to organise themselves into three rows of four. They fail. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFSEsa30x5SLYC452Qg7T3abkVUDETTFiBH1MNPMwo3_bFXjwhQER693aKSjIkA6MFheZjnQKpZXfrM31H1IC7Own3bNRQXWOaSuLIN6tK6pd1Z88eNY4ZrIXQzmvJX09_3dFUFg/s1600/ANTM7.6+Dawson+Der.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="398" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFSEsa30x5SLYC452Qg7T3abkVUDETTFiBH1MNPMwo3_bFXjwhQER693aKSjIkA6MFheZjnQKpZXfrM31H1IC7Own3bNRQXWOaSuLIN6tK6pd1Z88eNY4ZrIXQzmvJX09_3dFUFg/s400/ANTM7.6+Dawson+Der.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Which is totally fine.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Izzy attempts some star-jumps, but doesn’t manage to co-ordinate her hands, feet, and stupid stupid stupid cartoon hair-bow.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgatb7B3e8eV8c2I06pVxPsCB_M_qhBtDNr2vacPOu1G-BoMoHRkLhN-sbqIQOqGE3EKF02B5aYs1kg_t4eODgYX56GzrWhizJaP2IhsNaZMEQu-f3KUWujbISt3x82ot8MdcyIHA/s1600/ANTM7.6+Izzy+Der.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgatb7B3e8eV8c2I06pVxPsCB_M_qhBtDNr2vacPOu1G-BoMoHRkLhN-sbqIQOqGE3EKF02B5aYs1kg_t4eODgYX56GzrWhizJaP2IhsNaZMEQu-f3KUWujbISt3x82ot8MdcyIHA/s400/ANTM7.6+Izzy+Der.jpg" width="368" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">But I play the jug in a band. </td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Neo says that exercise is hard. You could almost say she doesn’t like it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Caroline keeps her feet still and just moves her arms. You could almost say she’s an arsehole. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rachel tries to do one sit-up. She fails.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU1kiv3CSdrDWLjC3so-hkKdtbqPjKvNAu6rJDQyPMF0lum6h60RTQycCBZLAn0wYG-fkHQ2UXuDnFYpZmLfyz92UJ7TjwJa2aQBmBkVMLxOjYUl30YYwibur9KpR0wbsMiAL_yg/s1600/ANTM7.6+Rachel+bad+situp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU1kiv3CSdrDWLjC3so-hkKdtbqPjKvNAu6rJDQyPMF0lum6h60RTQycCBZLAn0wYG-fkHQ2UXuDnFYpZmLfyz92UJ7TjwJa2aQBmBkVMLxOjYUl30YYwibur9KpR0wbsMiAL_yg/s400/ANTM7.6+Rachel+bad+situp.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW, FEEBLE HUMAN</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eventually and inexplicably, the girls are paired up and told that they’ll be running in a relay to reach some BUCKETS OF MYSTERY. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2rtS6IUoWb_oPbCCyOBIq7doEkwdICPcrMzto3WgEO6yu_RYM5C8-_VRwdWCxsF1JETPo_ObObH77fWqPpKg2_CrP-Gtt7ktVbuzzrQLDDc7YqE593eiPfaiTZVhNXTEP-PzU0Q/s1600/ANTM7.6+Pronounced+Bucket.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2rtS6IUoWb_oPbCCyOBIq7doEkwdICPcrMzto3WgEO6yu_RYM5C8-_VRwdWCxsF1JETPo_ObObH77fWqPpKg2_CrP-Gtt7ktVbuzzrQLDDc7YqE593eiPfaiTZVhNXTEP-PzU0Q/s400/ANTM7.6+Pronounced+Bucket.jpg" width="343" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's pronounced 'Bucket'.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Simone and Neo are coincidentally teamed up in a coincidence, because (coincidentally) the producers are completely unaware that they hate each other’s guts. Neo doesn’t like it. You could almost say she doesn’t like it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The relay is run, and Neo, despite her lack of exercise and crappo diet, completely blitzes it. Probably because she’s... oh. Well, because generally speaking... er... history has shown.... um... gold medals.... oh, look, fuck it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir7NOaLRsR7TvDqMsnIvpQHmueA2W2dfTAXzbMSWcDTel_9dE599QFjPOGjL9vHgN4SnC-09kieW3L-XeY7ImPkmaLkCgEO2_7rSI_HRTx8tR8krUV3xnVKs57uyabsiXM44xr9w/s1600/ANTM7.4+That%2527s+Racist.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir7NOaLRsR7TvDqMsnIvpQHmueA2W2dfTAXzbMSWcDTel_9dE599QFjPOGjL9vHgN4SnC-09kieW3L-XeY7ImPkmaLkCgEO2_7rSI_HRTx8tR8krUV3xnVKs57uyabsiXM44xr9w/s1600/ANTM7.4+That%2527s+Racist.gif" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The girls reach the buckets, look inside, and discover rubber gloves, a highlighter, a tea-bag, a water bottle, a kitchen sponge, and five pieces of coal.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Five.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Five pieces of coal. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Caroline runs toward a bucket on a beach to find that it contains five pieces of coal. This is why I want to pash this show on the lips and touch its boobs. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Izzy thinks that maybe they’re going to be cleaning the beach.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgatb7B3e8eV8c2I06pVxPsCB_M_qhBtDNr2vacPOu1G-BoMoHRkLhN-sbqIQOqGE3EKF02B5aYs1kg_t4eODgYX56GzrWhizJaP2IhsNaZMEQu-f3KUWujbISt3x82ot8MdcyIHA/s1600/ANTM7.6+Izzy+Der.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgatb7B3e8eV8c2I06pVxPsCB_M_qhBtDNr2vacPOu1G-BoMoHRkLhN-sbqIQOqGE3EKF02B5aYs1kg_t4eODgYX56GzrWhizJaP2IhsNaZMEQu-f3KUWujbISt3x82ot8MdcyIHA/s400/ANTM7.6+Izzy+Der.jpg" width="368" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">'Cause sand is just dirt on holiday.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Challenged.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After using the phrase “I had no idea” eighteen or nineteen times, the scrags rock up to a studio with their, as Doik puts it, ‘spastic items’, where Dawson and marketing guru Rob Belgiovane tell them that they’ll be scripting their own 30-second promo for their items to be filmed and judged. Now, I know that watching unfit skinny-legged teenagers write things on a piece of paper about coal <i>sounds</i> interesting, but I’m momentarily distracted by an empty space where coal used to be.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My new-best-friend Elizabeth is unenthusiastic because it’s “Something to do with talking, and I’m not really good at that”.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Simone is unenthusiastic because she has to work with Neo, because, for those of you in a coma on the moon, they dislike each other a bit.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My reserve-new-best-friend Yolanda isn’t so much enthusiastic as determined.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw9OHgC7nAw7SuUTIMm_-RpSj2XyN7EqHPI_x8-PFnEsGegXywIwsFdjNx5Qv2bA9j5VJcz-vg0NLIHugdIoZ0v1w2LGLj8EigeCB2wjtR0WfsPjtAPqS4xXwjGFP3v8hx8q2OjA/s1600/ANTM7.6+Yolly+serious+about+winning.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw9OHgC7nAw7SuUTIMm_-RpSj2XyN7EqHPI_x8-PFnEsGegXywIwsFdjNx5Qv2bA9j5VJcz-vg0NLIHugdIoZ0v1w2LGLj8EigeCB2wjtR0WfsPjtAPqS4xXwjGFP3v8hx8q2OjA/s400/ANTM7.6+Yolly+serious+about+winning.jpg" width="375" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And possibly mildly constipated.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The real enthusiasm comes when the challenge prize is revealed. Girls on the two winning teams will be allowed to attend a Cartier function wearing Alex Perry gowns and Cartier diamonds. So, kind of working, but not getting paid for it. THAT IS SO FRIGGING EXCITING!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivl2iSWe447I2wuVjA8IDE66DxvPH0574OIpt7hMRJUkniM88C6hDKjcRAwIHYmiMVQQZsxuzOgpoB-t5wptgiYRXhpbAiiP6n_S8x1FIVsJJgPavv710-Vz4aOt-QlGp1uHCqCw/s1600/ANTM7.6+Open+mouths2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="341" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivl2iSWe447I2wuVjA8IDE66DxvPH0574OIpt7hMRJUkniM88C6hDKjcRAwIHYmiMVQQZsxuzOgpoB-t5wptgiYRXhpbAiiP6n_S8x1FIVsJJgPavv710-Vz4aOt-QlGp1uHCqCw/s400/ANTM7.6+Open+mouths2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJhHDcEv5hDAf0y5FkZ3SIrzBieifIz2TTTONsjZFu6jn_Bwsb-JLDe18YJKoZgVQgSFPcpoYBpFHaKLmFzwaMMpW0ygOvLRhpxPN5ruc6ucmyaLYwZKQ6sgyENMRIwUa1np0Mww/s1600/ANTM7.6+Side+Face+Bitch+Montana.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJhHDcEv5hDAf0y5FkZ3SIrzBieifIz2TTTONsjZFu6jn_Bwsb-JLDe18YJKoZgVQgSFPcpoYBpFHaKLmFzwaMMpW0ygOvLRhpxPN5ruc6ucmyaLYwZKQ6sgyENMRIwUa1np0Mww/s400/ANTM7.6+Side+Face+Bitch+Montana.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZVqeqO4mHcDvXgrjiuCu2iaQOK6h5sieJeQCa9qcDTbOnIQ5yytyIga4UWmhMpRjYaFxAD7YO0kYRGMRPHOBHwxwCmJ8lOBp9ifmCA3nw0hP0-dE4N6mVpShW1eXegLAtdloNYQ/s1600/ANTM7.6+Open+mouths3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZVqeqO4mHcDvXgrjiuCu2iaQOK6h5sieJeQCa9qcDTbOnIQ5yytyIga4UWmhMpRjYaFxAD7YO0kYRGMRPHOBHwxwCmJ8lOBp9ifmCA3nw0hP0-dE4N6mVpShW1eXegLAtdloNYQ/s400/ANTM7.6+Open+mouths3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I totes love exploitation for total reals!</td></tr>
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Liz looks half-pissed, and Amelia states that her teabag makes her nervous, becauszzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Caroline and Hazel, despite eventually kicking arse, have trouble initially because they’ve never seen an advertisement for coal before, and as Caroline says “What does anyone actually use coal for anymore?”. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWUprM_SAbWwRADr4Ky6v_3eOE3sm9F1zlQ3nmnNhnCxWnDJOqPVrIOVrU8crZH9aL6nCldY4PD1BnmU61yJ7OjryijuiSJWvAQojd4lMK1AOk_YuZOZeaaGTkuREhyYruPdmqaQ/s1600/ANTM7.6+Coal+Mine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWUprM_SAbWwRADr4Ky6v_3eOE3sm9F1zlQ3nmnNhnCxWnDJOqPVrIOVrU8crZH9aL6nCldY4PD1BnmU61yJ7OjryijuiSJWvAQojd4lMK1AOk_YuZOZeaaGTkuREhyYruPdmqaQ/s400/ANTM7.6+Coal+Mine.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">OMG you're right! You guys can stop digging now.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maddy and Rachel do pretty well, Montana and Jess are okay but a bit ch... okay, look. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because of two awesome things.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Awesome Thing Number One.<o:p></o:p></span></u></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Doik Simone wants to write a rap to spruik her water bottle, and this is what she comes up with:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Welcome to the 21<sup>st</sup> century, <o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Where bottled water is so expensive lately.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">While the ghetto gravity of that sinks in, I’ll just take the opportunity to hand this week’s trophy to Doik. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPCWqF9L-_esOkqksl0TETHs3G3XndvD4v_ZNk8UU5-tFwPO4cxGKltmO6x9raZaEfldO9n6Lr92dTXx6U21jgZFqQE9LAVttXYSVFULaVgTWc6eeX30AMCizFN1SlDuMJJzhLnw/s1600/ANTM7.6+Rhyming+trophy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPCWqF9L-_esOkqksl0TETHs3G3XndvD4v_ZNk8UU5-tFwPO4cxGKltmO6x9raZaEfldO9n6Lr92dTXx6U21jgZFqQE9LAVttXYSVFULaVgTWc6eeX30AMCizFN1SlDuMJJzhLnw/s400/ANTM7.6+Rhyming+trophy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></u></div><div class="MsoNormal"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Awesome Thing Number Two.</span></u></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh580709UEdSSpwsVbgxP7IVz-sOvvKAiE-wto41GNbGPauSa7Fx-1e0gcqFiyzyDeu6-KGkxQ2U0Sd8p9dk9WymqcAwgB4gmlmKvnCX8NVG3wuDrj5XiIX4KRrQlwzTF3I4wGspw/s1600/ANTM7.6+Simone+Neo+watter+bottle+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="348" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh580709UEdSSpwsVbgxP7IVz-sOvvKAiE-wto41GNbGPauSa7Fx-1e0gcqFiyzyDeu6-KGkxQ2U0Sd8p9dk9WymqcAwgB4gmlmKvnCX8NVG3wuDrj5XiIX4KRrQlwzTF3I4wGspw/s400/ANTM7.6+Simone+Neo+watter+bottle+face.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s like Brett Whiteley finding a free source of heroin AND a big new tub of blue paint or, for the lowbrow amongst you, like Justin Bieber tripping over his own stupid shoes and landing in a vat of lava and wild dogs. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s awesome.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Phoy-Toy Shoot<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The next day, the modules arrive at grand and historic Strickland House, because lord knows you can’t sit around on the grass just <i>anywhere</i>. This week’s shoot is for a tooth, hair and nail supplement from Blackmores, with the winning shot to be included in a national campaign. I wish there was something funny about that. I do.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Josh Nielsen/Brigitte Flinn gees the girls up for their shoot, because my mate Shane has Photoshop and a tiny bit too much time on his hands, and I'm not even <i>close</i> to finished with this gag yet.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMPXEwsHXjs1d5bXLlhlO-L4KFRGTGBa4kRkH5-Lnnx0xpUn7hKYeatdVh3nFhu1CMaFb4uxZFaFJgDnWcs2fP7Kc1t4rAvQidkQJ8D-gZTUFrBWlw9HsUcOnlXy70U-XtDn0dSA/s1600/ANTM7.6+Josh+Nielsen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMPXEwsHXjs1d5bXLlhlO-L4KFRGTGBa4kRkH5-Lnnx0xpUn7hKYeatdVh3nFhu1CMaFb4uxZFaFJgDnWcs2fP7Kc1t4rAvQidkQJ8D-gZTUFrBWlw9HsUcOnlXy70U-XtDn0dSA/s400/ANTM7.6+Josh+Nielsen.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You may thank Shane for your next three nightmares.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">More importantly, photographer Gabrielle has one of those hats that makes her look like a crazy person with a rifle.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguCjCWMr5l5Hc0XbfVgEPHy3bpaJz1zVa3e_wHFgKMIOR2ohCdgN-w4OHhndObgxePIr_ZeQmJVlRZGGcUA1E4cHn3pXbW39ZJsBSSreRGXoek_yW1oC0M7YV6se0jVASRTymQhQ/s1600/ANTM7.6+Gabrielle1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="347" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguCjCWMr5l5Hc0XbfVgEPHy3bpaJz1zVa3e_wHFgKMIOR2ohCdgN-w4OHhndObgxePIr_ZeQmJVlRZGGcUA1E4cHn3pXbW39ZJsBSSreRGXoek_yW1oC0M7YV6se0jVASRTymQhQ/s400/ANTM7.6+Gabrielle1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Be veeewy quiet.</td></tr>
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When Josh asks her what she wants from the scrags today, she answers “lots of natural energy, and magic’. Yep. Thanks for the totally do-able and specific brief there, crazy rifle lady.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dressed in business shirts, gum boots and undies, each girl rolls around in the freezing, windy grass trying to look natural and pose but not pose and just do what you’d do walking down the street or at a nightclub and give me more, girl, GIVE ME MORE. Modelling is so <i>hard</i> you guys.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jess, Hazel and Simone are pretty good. Madeline is asked to find a middle ground between vitamins and Viagara (tomato, tomato), Montana is gob-droppingly amazing, and Neo looks like she’s just come home from a long day’s work at the lame place where they do the lame things.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Caroline is stiff and awkward, but not arseholey, because my world is all topsy turvy and shit. BE AN ARSEHOLE, CAROLINE. GOD. Make things <i>right </i>again. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yolanda is told not to think, because look up model in the dictionary, that’s why.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eliminationosity<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I love this point, about halfway through the competition, when the remaining modules have already worn all of their best outfits to elimination, so they’re left to scrape the bottom of the outfit barrel. Speaking of which, I’m sorry my library book is overdue Mrs Madeline Teen Librarian, and Izzy, if you’re here, then who’s turning around and around inside my jewellery box? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And oh my god. Guys. Hey, guys. Guess wha – guys. Yo, guys. Rachel didn’t thank anyone for anything this week. What with that and Caroline not being an arsehole, it’s a brave new world, and I don’t like it. I DON'T LIKE IT.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">ANYWAY, Saint Sarah greets the girls in the Elimination Barn, having just sprinted in after leading the Nobody Uses Coal Anymore Fun Run. She introduces Charlotte Dawson (dressed today as Sergeant Pepper’s bit on the side), Shiny Alex Perry (dressed today as an ineffectual ninja whose special weapon is squinting) and photographer Gabrielle Revere, who does that American thing where everything sounds like a question? You know?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As photos are shuffled through and deliberated over, the Zingy Zingo-Tron is taken out for a spin, with nuggets like:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>“If you are what you eat, then you must’ve been eating baby puppies” </i>– WOOF ZING!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>“It looks like you fell asleep in the park, woke up, and somebody was dragging you by the feet”</i> – HAYFEVER GRASS ALLERGY ZING!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>“I reckon she’s a Stepford model”</i> –BOOK/FILM REFERENCE ZING!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>“This is a modern day tragedy. How tragic that you are upstaged by a lawn”</i> – SHAKESPEAREAN GARDENING ZING THAT WAS ON THE PROMO!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then Caroline does this:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-y8CLhvFOAsReglkS8vyUJM82FPd1_QbW7aKZO01JJ8QNGGy-EXVuAQ3ld3pvwbpyVTVsfOihX9jiES9yvCxoT6ldg-WLqNQBEnoV8qkKIY9nSH90ONBhe9DaFlcfufpDUbu11w/s1600/antm7.6+Caroline+Cry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="327" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-y8CLhvFOAsReglkS8vyUJM82FPd1_QbW7aKZO01JJ8QNGGy-EXVuAQ3ld3pvwbpyVTVsfOihX9jiES9yvCxoT6ldg-WLqNQBEnoV8qkKIY9nSH90ONBhe9DaFlcfufpDUbu11w/s400/antm7.6+Caroline+Cry.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...which makes me feel bad for calling her an arsehole for six weeks. Magic Psychic Desk says:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2nRiN4CGNPKOHAY5qAZQBJgzqDMX3-K_zUQsVr5LXOxpV3ilce8ryZxSU8xuVAsmthTW2H0bsSM_PMnsmKOyE-5fhDZjtfaXGhVqETCUPPJH6tthdNFmIyeF-G04m9eF1q5Z1TQ/s1600/ANTM7.6+Caroline+desk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2nRiN4CGNPKOHAY5qAZQBJgzqDMX3-K_zUQsVr5LXOxpV3ilce8ryZxSU8xuVAsmthTW2H0bsSM_PMnsmKOyE-5fhDZjtfaXGhVqETCUPPJH6tthdNFmIyeF-G04m9eF1q5Z1TQ/s400/ANTM7.6+Caroline+desk.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Names are called out one by one until just Neo (who doesn’t seem to like it) and Caroline (who used to be an arsehole) remain.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Two swift kicks to the guts pass, and SHOCK DOUBLE ELIMINATION SHOCK! both girls are sent home.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bye, Neo and Caroline! I’ll miss how you kind of hated everything!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They skip out of the Eliminarium hand in hand.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Arseholes.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">******</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You know what? I don’t even care if this one-verse-per-episode country song is the longest and most confusing country song ever written. It will all make sense with banjo. EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE WITH BANJO. Verse 6:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></o:p> </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When yoooou’re</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On the beach but you can’t quite reach ‘cause your abs are weak as blubber;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You’ll be trained by Luke ‘til you nearly puke, with his face like scary rubber.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you market well, then you have to sell whatever crap is in your bucket;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Put your bottle in place across your partner’s face, she’s a bitch so she can suck it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then get on your arse on the freezing grass with your teeth, nails, hair all glowing;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now roll on your back and ignore the fact that your underpants are showing.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Neo’s time is nigh – Caroline? Goodbye! Time to leave your newest besties;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You’ve got a pretty face, but you’ve lost your place ‘cause your attitude sucks testes.</span></div>Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12410154061956348030noreply@blogger.com14