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Monday, November 17, 2008

Pick Me! Pick Me!

Well, well, well.

With the assistance of a bit of vitriol, a bit of sarcasm, and quite a lot of swear-words, I'm one of eight finalists in Cleo Magazine's 'Next Top Blogger' competition.

The winner is chosen by public vote, so I'd really appreciate it if you'd click on the link below and throw a vote my way. And tell your friends to. And their friends. Etc. See how that works?

Thank you. You smell great. Is that Paco Rabanne?


Urban Decay 2

Part 2: Keith Goes For Gold.

(Part 1 here. Not guaranteed to make Part 2 make any more sense).

After working so hard at the office, my mate Russ figured Keith could do with a bit of a weekender up the Gold Coast. It's pretty hard work being a mediocre country singer, and even more arduous being married to Nicole Kidman (what with all the not making her frown unnecessarily, and the endless sunscreen application), so the break was pretty welcome.

It's hot up in Queensland, so Russ suggested a swim. Keith was well into the idea…

…until he remembered he's about as good at swimming as he is stopping at two beers. Drink: yes. In the drink: no.

Luckily, there was a plastic disembodied crocodile-head lifeguard on duty. Woo, plastic disembodied crocodile-head lifeguard. Woo, sir.

Knackered after his aquatic adventure, Keith had a bit of a rest and tried to get dry (and not for the first time, right Keith?). Unfortunately he picked the wrong place for a kip, and it was dinner time for the family mutt.

I can't wait for Keith's next single, entitled Cover Me In Kibbles And Lick Me Clean.
Meanwhile, Russ is booking his dog in for canine therapy and a tongue-scrape.

Stay tuned for the next instalment, in which Keith goes on an international adventure with his two good mates, Russ and Frosty. There's mud. There's guitars. There's a mechanical shark.

And, of course, there's Keith.


Thursday, November 06, 2008

Bum Shot #9: The Blokes Of Australian Idol

L-R: Teale Jakubenko, Luke Dickens, Irrepressible Fame-Whore, Wes Carr, Mark Spano.

So, it's Battle Of The Testicles in the lead-up to Australian Idol 2008, and the four remaining finalists have fulfilled one of their semi-professional obligations: lining their buttocks up next to mine and saying 'cheese'.
I'm so sorry to make you think about buttocks and cheese at the same time. Just pretend you're at the doctor.

And yes, that's a fascinator made out of coloured paper from the office stationery cupboard. Thank you for asking.